BLINK OF AN EYE
BY
TOOKI
Hutch slowly opened his partner's door when he got no response from his persistence knocks. The room was almost pitch black, Hutch squinted trying to see if his partner was home. "Starsky?" he called out but there was no answer. "Starsky? You in here?" Still no answer. Hutch flipped on a lamp near the door he jumped when he saw Starsky sitting on the floor leaning against the couch. He still wore the same clothes he had on the day before and he looked as though he hadn't slept all night. "You alright buddy?" Hutch asked he put his hand on his partner's shoulder.
Almost as if in slow motion Starsky looked up at Hutch, his eyes were red rimmed and his face had an expression on it that Hutch had never seen before. "Alright?" Starsky echoed as if in a dream.
"Come on let's sit on the couch," Hutch said placing one hand under Starsky's elbow but he wouldn't allow Hutch to move him onto the couch. Hutch looked around the room helplessly and that was when he noticed Starsky's gun laying on the coffee table. " Starsk what's your gun doing out?"
Starsky just stared out into space with out answering. His mind suddenly replayed the day before, just twenty-four hours ago life had been perfect...well if not perfect pretty good. The heat wave that had plagued the city for two weeks had broken with a tremendous storm that had even unnerved the detective during the night. He had awakened to a much cooler morning and the rain was still dripping from the trees as he had stood in the doorway of his apartment enjoying the fresh smell.
He had even been ready when Hutch had come to pick him up. Starsky had been sitting outside when Hutch drove up in his old heap. Hutch got out and came up the sidewalk unable to believe his eyes. "You sick Starsky?" Hutch teased his partner.
"Nope just enjoying this beautiful day." Starsky said smiling as he got up and met his partner half way.
"You want to drive today?" Hutch asked as he slid his keys in his pocket.
"Naw," Starsky answered to Hutch's surprise. He always complained when they went in his beat up car. Hutch just shrugged as they made their way back out to his car.
They had only been on the street an hour when a call came through. Shots had been fired in an up scale neighborhood. Starsky slapped the light on the top of the car as Hutch made a U-turn and headed toward the address they were given.
When they got to the address that Starsky had written down everything was quite. They drove up the circle driveway, both detectives got out of the car cautiously listening for any sound. But all that met their ears was silence, they looked at each other unsure of what to do. Hutch started to lean back in the car and call headquarters thinking that they had the wrong address when they heard a gun shot. It had sounded as if it had come from around back.
They both drew their guns and crept around the side of the house. They were greeted by a six foot high wooded fence, the gate hung slightly open. Starsky toed the door open so that they could both see into the back yard. It was empty so they slowly proceed staying close to the bushes that grew next to the house. In the center of the yard was a huge pool, it had a waterfall at one end that emptied into the shallow end of the pool. The whole back yard was beautifully landscaped looking more like paradise than somebody's yard.
A pool house was at the back of the property the sliding doors were open and curtains blew out the door in the light breeze. Hutch moved tediously toward the open door as Starsky backed him up watching every inch of the yard.
Suddenly the gate behind Starsky swung open he whirled around training his gun on who ever was about to come through the gate.
"Scotty I’m back," called a woman as she stepped into the line of Starsky's weapon. Starsky sucked in his breath and pulled his gun up as he saw the woman. She saw him about the same time, she screamed as she dropped her sack of groceries.
"Get down Miss," he said grabbing her hand and pulling her to the ground. "I'm the police, there have been shots fired from your back yard."
"What?" She said. "You must be mistaken." She tried to get up but Starsky had a tight grip on her arm.
"Stay down until my partner and I make sure it's safe." He looked across the perfectly manicured lawn just in time to see a gun poking out of the curtains pointed directly at Hutch. "HUTCH!" Starsky yelled. Hutch dropped to the ground just as the gun fired narrowly missing him. Starsky fired into the open door hoping to hit the shooter since he was unable to see them.
"NO," The woman yelled. She wrenched her arm from Starsky's grasp and ran toward the pool house. Starsky was on his feet chasing after her hoping that the shooter wouldn't take another pot shot.
Hutch jumped to his feet also trying to stop the woman but she swerved eluding Hutch's out stretched hand. She reached the door seconds before the two detectives. The scream she let out was ear piercing and she fell to the ground.
Neither man had heard a shot so they weren't sure what had happened. At the same time they pulled back the curtains to reveal a young boy about seven or eight lying in an ever-widening pool of blood.
"NOOOOOO," Starsky fell on his knees next to the little boy. He picked up the child's limp wrist and felt for a pulse, there was none. What had he done?
"Dear God," Hutch mumbled looking down on the sight before him. A .22 lay next to the child's still body and a box of shells were setting on a near by table. What was this child doing with a gun? He bent over Starsky, "Is he alive?" Starsky shook his head as tears streamed down his face.
Hutch went to check on the woman she had appeared to have just passed out. He was assuming that the woman was the boy's mother. He stood up, "Starsky." There was no answer so he spoke more firmly. "Starsky." This time he looked up. "You go call this in, get some help out here."
"No I want to stay here with Scotty." Starsky said softly.
"Who?"
"That's the name the woman said as she came in the gate, Scotty I'm back." Starsky said. "I know she was calling to him," Starsky looked down mournfully at the small body.
"Come on Starsky go call it in," Hutch said. He wanted to get his partner out of the room.
"Are you deaf?" Starsky growled as he jumped to his feet. "You fucking call it in yourself I’m staying with Scotty."
"Alright, Starsk alright but don't touch anything while I'm gone not even the kid." Hutch ordered. "Starsky do you understand me?"
"I heard you," Starsky snapped as he fell back to his knees next to Scotty.
After Hutch left Starsky couldn't take his eyes off the boy, he had on a green and blue striped shirt and white shorts both were spattered with blood now. His hair was a sandy blond color, his eyes were closed never to open again and he, Starsky had ended this child's life. How was he supposed to live with that? Granted the boy did have a real gun and he was shooting at Hutch but he should have waited until he had a clear view before he fired. Any rookie knew that, there could have been hostages in the room, anything but he had blindly shot into a room not knowing the situation and now a little boy was dead. He had been worried about the woman running toward the building and about Hutch who had just been narrowly missed by a bullet.
A moan came from the woman as she came to, she got slowly to her feet steadying her self on the door frame. Anger filled her face as she saw Starsky crouching over her son. "YOU BASTARD!" she screamed as she struck his back with her hands. "YOU KILLED MY SON!" She was crying as she pulled at his hair and clothes, she pelted him with her fists and screamed in Starsky's face. He didn't even try to defend himself he just stood there taking the punishment she was dealing out.
It was Hutch who grabbed her arms from behind when he returned from calling in. He threatened to cuff her if she didn't calm down. Finally spent from her emotions the woman slid to the ground sobbing. Once Hutch was sure the woman wasn't coming back for a second round at his partner he went to see if Starsky was all right.
Starsky was standing with his back against the far wall of the pool house, his hair was disheveled, his shirt pulled from his jeans and there were scratches on his face where she had hit him. "Starsky you OK man?"
"Yeah yeah," Starsky said dazed.
The woman remained on the floor until the paramedics arrived, along with the coroner, several other squad cars and Dobey. The paramedics wheeled the woman away saying that she was in shock and needed to be hospitalized. The coroner checked out the small boy before he was taken to the morgue.
Dobey paced around the room his hands clasped behind his back. He kept glancing at Starsky who Hutch was trying to comfort telling him that it wasn't his fault. Finally Dobey stopped in front of his two men, "What in the hell happened here?" Dobey growled at both of them.
Slowly Hutch pieced together the events that had led them to where they were now. He still couldn’t believe that a seven-year-old boy had gotten a hold of a gun. It was unfortunate that the child had been killed but his partner had only been trying to protect him and the woman. So many questions were unanswered. Why did he have a gun, why was he home apparently by himself?
"Starsky I'll take your gun and shield for now," Dobey said.
"Cap," Hutch started to protest.
"Hutchinson it's regulations," Dobey said sternly.
"Screw regulations, it was a clean shoot," Hutch said. "He had no idea it was a kid with the gun."
Starsky sighed as he pulled his gun from its holster. "It's OK Hutch, Dobey is only doing what he has to do."
"You'll probably have it back by the end of the day," Dobey reassured his detective. "I want the two of you down to the station to give your statements. As soon as his boy's mother is able to talk we'll see just what he was doing with a gun."
Back at the station both detectives were questioned separately by Internal Affairs. Their stories were the same all that was left was to talk to the mother. It seemed like an unfortunate accident. One that could have been avoided if the boy's parents had only locked their weapon away.
It turned out that the boy's father was out of town on business and the mother had just stepped out to the store several blocks away leaving her son alone. Joannie Printess had to be sedated once she had been admitted to the hospital. They had sent a policewoman to speak with her after the doctor had given permission. Office Kandle talked to the woman for several hours finding out that the couple had only gotten the gun the week before after several break ins had been reported in their neighborhood. Mr. Printess had left early that morning for a conference out of town and Joannie had felt uneasy being in the house alone so she had unlock the desk drawer in their room so that she could get the gun easily.
She had no idea that Scotty even knew that they had a gun in the house. Later in the morning when she needed to go to the store for a few things Scotty had promised to be good because he didn't want to leave the show he was watching. Thinking that she would be gone only twenty minutes Joannie agreed.
As soon as Scotty was sure his mother was gone he had gone straight to his parents bedroom to get the gun. He had seen his father with it a couple of days ago and wanted to get a good look at it. The gun and a box of shells lay in the bottom of the desk drawer under some files of his dad's. Scotty took the gun to the back yard where he loaded and proceeded to shoot at the "bad" guys.
Joannie was beside herself that her young son was dead but also felt bad for the things that she had said to the officer. Now calm and collected she realized that it hadn't been his fault, if it was anyone's fault it was hers for not making Scotty come with her.
It was going on seven p.m. when Dan Leaner from Internal Affairs knocked on Dobey's office door. He and his partner had gone over all the evidence from the scene, the accounts from both detectives and the conversation that Officer Kandle had with the boy's mother. The conclusion was that it was an accident that all concerned would just have to learn to live with.
After Leaner left Dobey slid Starsky's gun across the desk along with his shield. Starsky sat and looked at the two items for several moments before he finally picked up his gun and holstered it then place his shield back in his wallet. "Told you it would all work out." Dobey said gruffly.
Starsky stood up and looked at Dobey, "And just who did it work out for?" With those words Starsky left his captains office.
Hutch stood staring after his partner. "Well don't just stand there," Dobey commanded. "Go after him. He's going to have to come to terms with what has happened and it's not going to be easy for him. Hutch nodded and dashed off to find his partner.
Hutch repeated his question. "What is your gun doing out?"
Starsky shrugged with out answering. How could he tell Hutch that he had been sitting there all night long trying to get the courage to put it to his head and pull the trigger.
Hutch had tried to come in with him after dropping him home but Starsky refused saying that he just needed to be alone. Several times that evening Hutch had called to make sure his partner was all right. And each time Starsky assured him that he was fine. Finally he told Hutch that he was going to bed so that his partner would stop calling.
Against his better judgement Hutch finally went to bed thinking that he would be at Starsky's first thing in the morning to make sure that his friend was doing fine. After the phone calls stopped Starsky went to the refrigerator and took out a six pack of beer hoping that if he got drunk enough he could forget. But it hadn't worked and by two a.m. he was sober again and still seeing that small body lying in a puddle of blood.
That was when he had gone to the closet and taken his gun from it's holster lying it on the table in front of him. He hadn't even been aware that it was morning until Hutch had opened the front door. Starsky hated himself for killing the boy and then not even having the guts to take his own life. He didn't want to live for he knew he would be haunted by Scotty's face for the rest of his life.
"Starsky?" Hutch kneeled down on the floor next to his partner. "You going to tell me what your gun is doing out or am just going to have to guess? I don't like what I thinking right now."
Slowly Starsky swung his eyes toward his partner. "You didn't kill a kid. How would you feel if you were in my place right now uh?"
Hutch closed his eyes and took a deep breath he had actually asked himself that question several times in the last twenty-four hours. It had been a 50/50 chance that it could have been him doing the shooting. And he would have done the same thing his partner had. "Starsk I think you need to talk to somebody."
Starsky gave him a bitter laugh, "What a shrink? Can talking to a doctor bring back that little boy?"
"No but..." Hutch begin.
But Starsky cut him off. "Make me feel better? That's what you were going to say. Nothing is ever going to make me feel better, make me forget, help me sleep at night or keep me from seeing that child's face every time I close my eyes."
"Killing yourself won't make it better either." Hutch said softly. There he had finally said it, he wasn't stupid he knew his partner too well and knew from the moment he had seen the gun what Starsky had been planning on doing with it.
"Yes it will, I won't have to live with it."
"But I will have to live with losing you." Hutch said with a catch in his voice. He knew that if Starsky was set on ending his life there was nothing he could really do short of having his best friend locked up. Hutch reached across and took Starsky's gun, the safety was off he wonder just how close he had been to doing it. He flicked the safety on and laid it on the floor next to him.
"Put it back," Starsky said.
"No I'm not going to sit here and watch you do this," Hutch said angrily.
"Then don't," Starsky bit back. "I don't need a audience."
"Come on Starsky let me get you out of here for a while uh?" Hutch coaxed.
"You aren't going to leave me alone are you?"
"Never." Hutch replied.
"Fine then I'll just do it later," Starsky announced. "I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you Hutch but I can't live with what I have done. Killing some junky selling dope is one thing but killing a kid? A seven year old kid?"
"You are forgetting one thing my friend. That seven year old kid had a .22 and was going t o blow my brains out." Hutch answered.
"It could have been handled differently," Starsky said.
"Sure maybe it could have been but you don't know that." Hutch said.
"Hutch he was just playing."
"With a real gun."
"It still changes nothing," Starsky said quietly.
Hutch sat staring at his friend, he had never felt so helpless in all his life. He wanted so badly to help Starsky but he didn't know how. The last thing Hutch wanted to do was have him committed but he also didn't want to see Starsky die either. "Come on we got to get you out of here."
"Just give me my gun and you just get out of here," Starsky said in a determined voice.
"I won't let you do this," Hutch said just as determined as his partner.
"You can't watch me forever Hutch," Starsky said. "If it's not to day then tomorrow or the next..."
Hutch stood up and placed the gun on the table in front of Starsky. "Fine, you are right I can't watch you. If this is what you want to do then I can't stop you. But just think about this, one mother has tragically lost her son are you going to let another mother go through that same kind of pain?" With those words said Hutch turned toward the front door. He pause for only a moment not wanting to leave but knowing that he had to. This was Starsky's demon and there was no way that Hutch could fight this battle for him. He slowly closed the door and walked out to his car. Hutch slid in and placed his hands on the steering wheel then bent his head until it was resting on his hands. Tears dripped on his jeans making dark spots where they landed. He had no idea if he would still have a best friend for tomorrow.
Starsky reached out and touch his gun then pulled it toward him. He picked it up turning it over in his hand, he flicked off the safety that Hutch had put on. The gun was fully loaded, as he had made sure of that during the night. He closed his eyes the boy flashed past his closed lids. Scotty would never play ball, go swimming, have a girl friend, or go to the prom. And it was all his fault, Starsky put the barrel of the gun to his head and placed his finger on the trigger.
Then he flashed on something else Scotty's mother screaming, crying, and pummeling him with her fists. The anguish in her face had been more than he could bear. Suddenly her face changed and it was his mother weeping uncontrollably for another man she had lost in her life. He could fell the pain that he would put his mother through and the shame. He wouldn't be dying in honor like his father but in a haze of shame. Starsky took a deep breath and lower his gun, it was suddenly very heavy.
Hutch was sitting at his desk when Starsky pushed the squad room doors open. The curly headed man looked like hell but he was alive. Hutch wanted to jump up and go to him but forced him self to remain seated.
Starsky came to stand behind his desk chair then said, "Ok you win."
Hutch looked up at him. "No buddy you win."
The End