For Life and Longer
                                                                                           By Tooki

                                                                                                    ​


                                                                                          Chapter 1

Starsky sat at his desk, his head down on his crossed arms. He felt a hand on his back but he didn’t move. “Hey buddy you okay?” He knew it was Hutch but he couldn’t answer he felt so bad. “Starsky?” The voice was filled with concern. The hand moved from his back to his forehead, “Man you are burning up.” He felt Hutch move away from him but he was back in a few minutes. “Here take these.” Hutch sat a cup of water and two aspirin on the desk. “I’m telling Dobey I’m taking you home.”
Starsky tried to tell Hutch he was fine and didn’t want to go home but it was all he could do to lift his head to take the aspirin. He couldn’t ever remember feeling this bad before. He had felt a little funny when he had gotten up that morning but as time wore on he began feeling worse and worse. Now it was lunchtime and he felt as if he just wanted to lie down and die.
“Come on partner we are going to get you to a doctor.” Hutch said putting his hand under Starsky’s elbow.
“No, I’m alright, just a touch of the flu,” Starsky finally managed to answer. “Just take me home Hutch, ‘K?”
Hutch sighed not sure that his partner didn’t need to see a doctor. “Ok but if you aren’t any better by the time I’m off you are going…deal?”
“Sure,” Starsky answered not feeling like fighting with Hutch. He felt more like he was going to throw up. “I just need a little sleep.”
The moment Hutch’s brown heap started moving Starsky was sound asleep and Hutch had to wake him and almost carry him to his apartment. “Are you sure you are going to be alright?” Hutch enquired as he tucked his friend into bed.
“Yeah, you go get the bad guys uh?”
“Need anything before I go?”
“How about a glass of water?”
“You got it buddy,” Hutch left to get the water, when he returned Starsky was sound asleep again. He set the water on the bedside table, felt Starsky’s forehead one more time, he did feel just a bit cooler then went back to work.
​
The bank heist was had gone badly from the beginning, Phil should have known when he had trouble starting the car that morning. He convinced himself it was just from sitting all night. He was on a timetable that had to be kept to the second. He would pick up Nick then Dale then head for the bank; they would be there when the doors opened, before it was full of people. He would wait out side for Nick and Dale then they would make their get-away, dump the car and be in Mexico for a dinner of enchilada’s and beer.
That was the way it was planned, that was the way they had rehearsed it for the past two weeks. Fine tuning until everything was prefect. So when the engine died moments before his two partners were suppose to exit the building Phil panicked. He tried several times to restart the car but the smell of gas floated in the open window signaling that the engine was flooded. “SHIT!” he exclaimed pounding on the steering wheel as though it would help. “Piece of junk! Come on baby start.”
Inside the back with stocking masks covering their faces Nick and Dale were cleaning out the bank vault while the frighten employee’s looked on. The robbers had of coursed promised them that as long and somebody didn’t do anything stupid nobody would get hurt. They had grabbed the last of the cash and were heading toward the front door when Phil burst in.
“What the hell are you doing in here?” Nick yelled at him as he felt panic raise in the pit of his stomach. He thought he heard sirens in the distance.
“The car won’t start.” Phil said looking around wildly.
“What the hell do you expect us to do take the bus?” Dale screamed at him. “Why did you turn it off in the first place?”
“I thought an idling car in front of a bank would look suspicious.”
“Christ!” Dale exploded. “Now what the hell are we doing to do?”
Nick turned on the terrified employees, “Who has a car close?” When nobody offered up his or her car he grabbed a young window clerk close to him. “Where is your car?”
“O-out back,” she managed to get out.
“Let’s go then,” he said shoving her ahead of him. Then he turned, “Everybody else stay put unless you want to see her die.”
Phil and Dale followed walking backwards keeping their guns trained on the employees.
“Please don’t hurt me,” the woman wailed as Nick pushed her down a hallway to the back door of the bank.
Nick sighed, this whole thing was going wrong. The last thing on his mind was hurting anybody. They just wanted the money so they could get out of town and never have to come back. “What’s your name?”
She looked at him with frighten eyes. “M-Mary,” she stammered.
“Well Mary,” he said almost kindly. “We aren’t going to hurt you. We just need a car to get out of here. You give me the keys and you can stay here.”
She looked at him with a bit of relief on her face. She dug in her purse and produced the keys for him. “Don’t dent it, it’s brand new.”
In spite of himself Nick smiled at her. “We’ll be careful. You can pick it up at the airport.”
“Crap don’t tell her where we are going you idiot,” Dale said jamming his gun in his partners back. “This isn’t the damn dating game.”

When the call came of a silent alarm at the First National Bank, Hannah Starsky and her partner Ed Desalvo were just finishing up breakfast. Ed was a cop with thirty years experience on the force. He had been eligible many times for promotions but always opted for the streets saying that was the reason he became a cop. He also loved getting the rookie cops right out of the academy, most officers abhorred getting the green young cops. Ed looked at it as shaping a new officer into an outstanding cop.
Ed and Hannah had been together almost a year now. She had caught on quickly and he was very proud of her. He had known David Starsky for many years and despite what Hannah though it had been Ed’s suggestion that he take her on. Hannah was sure that it had been her dad that had insisted on Ed. No matter what either man said to her, she thought it was her dad’s way of protecting her. Starsky had been delighted when Ed had taken Hannah under his wing.
They raced to the bank then Ed pulled slowly into the alley behind the building. Quickly they got out of the squad car and approached the back door of the bank. Hannah got one side of the door Ed the other, as he was reaching to see if the door happened to be unlocked when it flew open and a young woman was shoved out. Ed grabbed her pushing her up against the building on the other side of him then stuck his foot in the door to keep the robber from slamming it shut.

Nick was more than startled when his captive was ripped from his grip. He tried to shut the door but the officer out side had his foot in the door. He had for a moment thought about trying to shoot the cop but that was the last thing he really wanted to do. So instead Nick started backing away from the door, he ran into Dale who was only a few feet behind him.
“What the hell are you doing?” Dale yelled shoving Nick.
“There are cops out there,” Nick hissed, they got the girl.
“Jesus, what a bunch of losers you two are,” Dale howled. “This is a fucking bank robbery not a convenience store knock off. If you aren’t willing to use those damn guns then what the hell do you have them for?”
“What’s going on?” Phil asked coming up behind his two partners.
“Cops in the alley,” Nick said.
“Great just great. This whole thing was a bad idea.” Phil whined.
“Shut up and get back in there,” Dale said pushing Phil back into the main room of the back.
A few of the employee’s had started to stand up but they all crouched back down when the men reentered the room. There were whispers from Mary’s co-workers wondering what had happened to her.
“SHUT UP!” Dale roared then fired a shot into the air. Everyone in the room screamed then went silent. “Looks like we have a hostage situation here.”
“No,” Nick said. “I didn’t sign on to hold these people hostage, it was suppose to be clean in and out.”
“Well if stupid here hadn’t used that piece of shit car we would be half way to the airport wouldn’t we?” Dale turned to glare a Phil. Dale stripped off his mask what was the point now? Phil hadn’t been wearing one in the first place and it was getting hot in side the wool. He also had a feeling that they weren’t getting out of this alive either.


                                                                                        Chapter 2



Hutch was heading back toward the station when he heard the call about the bank robbery. He was only a few blocks away so he thought he would stop and see if he could be of some help. When he got there the streets around the bank had been barricaded. The swap team had been called in, several life squads were stationed in areas where they could get out quickly if need be. Hutch got out of his car and walked to the closest black and white.
“Hey Brad what’s going on?” Hutch asked the officer squatted down next to the police car.
“Bank robbery gone bad. There is a bunch of hostages, at least a couple of gun men and two officers in there.” Brad said not wanting to answer the next question he knew Hutch would ask.
“What officers?”
Ed took a deep breath, “Desalvo and Starsky.” Usually they called Hannah Starsky Jr. it had gotten on her nerves quickly and Starsky had asked everyone to stop so now it was whispered behind her back but Hannah still knew what they called her.
“Hannah is in there?” Hutch asked
“I’m ‘fraid so Hutch. She and Ed were the first ones to respond to the silent alarm. We are figuring they went in the back since their squad is in the ally.”
“Any shots fired?”
“Just one according to witnesses.”
“Thanks Brad.” Hutch said and moved toward where the swat team was set up.
Captain Templeton saw Hutch coming and knew what he wanted. The two officers had an oil and water relationship, both respected what the other did but they didn’t always like the way they got the job done. Harry Templeton had been in charge of the Swat team for over ten years; over those years he and Hutch had clashed more than once.
“Hutchinson,” Templeton said without taking his eyes from the front of the building.
“Harry,” Hutch knelt down next to the captain. “Any word from inside?”
“Not yet I have tried to call several times but they won’t pick up.”
“My partner’s daughter is in there.”
“I know that.”
“I want to be in on what ever goes down.” Hutch stated instead of asking.
“Hutch let my men take care of this, they are trained.”
“And what am I? I didn’t just come out of the academy.” Hutch said he wanted to add that Hannah had.
“Come on Hutch you have to much of a personal interest in this that makes you unsafe.”
“Unsafe because I want to make sure my partner’s daughter comes out of this alive?”
“Just let my men do their job.”
“And what if it were your daughter in there, would you step down and let somebody else handle it?” Hutch asked.
Templeton sighed and shook his head. “Alright Hutch but you follow my orders, my commands, you don’t go making decisions on your own in there.” He looked at Hutch. “You got me?”
“Yeah, yeah I got you.”
“Go get a bullet proof vest. I’m going to try the bullhorn next if that doesn’t work we are going in.”

“Shit what are we going to do Dale?” Phil asked.
“For God sakes will you stop using our names. You want up to show everybody your driver’s license so they know where to arrest your sorry ass?” Dale snapped.
“Man there are a lot of cops out there,” Nick had just come from the front of the bank. “I think we should just give up.”
“We have a room full of hostages we will get what we want.” Dale said.
“What good will hostages do unless we are ready to kill a few?”
“Who said we weren’t willing to do that.”
Nick paled at Dale’s words, “I’m not willing. I’m not having any part of killing anybody.”
Dale pointed his gun at Nick’s chest, “Why don’t I just start with you uh? I’ll shoot you and toss you out the door they don’t know you aren’t a hostage.”
“Well I guess I am a hostage now because I’m not going to shoot any of these people you got me?” Nick was mad. “So if you are going to shoot me go ahead and do it.”
Dale pulled the trigger sending Nick to the floor. The hostages screamed and clung to each other. Nick gasped a few times then was still.
“What the hell is wrong with you,” Phil screamed.
“You want to be next?”
Phil backed down quickly and went to Nick. “He’s dead you killed him.”
Several of the women began to cry. Dale was about to tell them to shut up when he heard a voice on a bullhorn from out side.

Hannah and Ed had managed to slip in the open door and hide in a back room with out being seen. Nick hadn’t told Dale that he hadn’t shut the back door hoping that the cops would come in and put a stop to the madness. It had been hard to hold their hiding place when the first shot had been fired but once they realized that it had been one of the gun men just letting off steam they stayed in place.
The second shot sent them out of their hiding place and closer to the action. “You keep behind me Hannah,” Ed ordered as they crept down the hallway so they could get a look into the room. They positioned themselves so they got a view of the whole room. Hannah had been slightly relieved to see that it was one of the gunmen down and not a hostage.
They desperately needed to make contact with the out side. Hannah saw a phone on a desk out of sight of the robbers. She touched her partner on the shoulder and made the gestures that she was going to try to call out. Ed looked toward the gunmen then nodded giving her the go ahead.
Ed readied himself in case Hannah was spotted making her way to the phone. But the two gunmen were busy arguing about the downed man. Just as Hannah picked up the phone and was going to dial a voice from the out side came through a bullhorn.

“Put down your weapons and come out, nobody will harm you.” Templeton shouted into the bullhorn. He waited for a few beats then added, “Send out the hostages.” Still no response. “You will give us no choice but to storm the building. We don’t do deals.”
Hutch with his vest on came back to crouch near Templeton. “ Are we going in?”
“Just hold your horses Hutchinson. I would rather talk our way out of this. We go in guns blazing somebody is going to get killed.”
“There has already been two shots fired and they aren’t answering. How long are you going to wait?” Hutch wanted to know.
“Until the time is right is that ok with you?” Templeton snapped. “Now if you don’t get off my back I might just change my mind about letting you go in. It’s against my better judgment anyway.”
Hutch threw up his hands. “Okay okay.” A office poked Hutch in the shoulder and handed him a microphone. “Yeah.”
“Give me that.” Templeton began but Hutch held up a finger to shut him up.
“You okay honey?” Hutch said relief flooding him momentarily, Hannah was safe. “It’s Hannah from inside.”
Templeton snatched the mic from Hutch’s hand. “Officer Starsky this is Captain Templeton with Swat. Can you give me some information on what is going on inside.”
“One of the gun men is down shot by his partner. I would say there are about ten hostages. The back door is unlocked and just guessing I think the front door might be too. There are two remaining gun men but one is reluctant, the other one is dangerous.” Hannah whispered into the phone hoping they wouldn’t hear her.
“Ok, you hold your position if possible and keep this line open.” Templeton ordered.
“Yes sir.” Hannah looked across to Ed and gave him the thumbs up that she had made contact with the out side. He returned the signal then turned his eyes back to the gunmen. If either of them made a move like they were going to shot a hostage he was going to have to make a stand.

Templeton handed the phone back to Hutch, “You let me know if anything goes down.”
Hutch nodded then said into the phone. “Are you okay Hannah?”
“I’m fine,” she whispered. “Is Daddy there?”
“Sorry honey, I took him home sick,” Hutch answered suddenly wishing he hadn’t given her that detail.
“What’s wrong?” Hannah asked suddenly forgetting about her predicament and worrying about her father.
“It’s nothing, you just concentrate on what is going on there uh?” Hutch said cursing himself for saying anything. “Just a touch of the flu. What’s going on now?” He hoped he would get her mind back on business.
“Nothing much.” Hannah said, “These two are real losers.”
“Can you describe them to me?” Hutch asked.
But as Hannah was about to relay the information Hutch wanted there was another shot. “Oh my God.”
“Hannah what is it?” Templeton looked at Hutch for information. Hutch had to shrug since Hannah hadn’t answered him. “Hannah?” Still no answer. “Officer Starsky answer me tell me what is going on.”
Hannah snapped out of it. “He shot him.”
“Who got shot?
“The gunman shot Phil.”
“Phil? A hostage?” Hutch asked looking over at the Captain to see if he was catching their conversation.
“No, no Phil was one of the gunmen. Now all is left is the crazy one. You guys had better get in here before he kills everybody. He’s pointing his gun at each one of the hostages. I swear to god he is saying…Hutch get them in here.”

Dale had whirled around and pointed this gun at Phil, “I should have done this by myself. You two are useless.” This was after Phil said he was walking out. As Phil turned and headed for the front door Dale fired shooting him in the back. Then he turned back to the hostages. “Okay who’s next? I’m a dead man anyway now I might as well take you all with me.”
Ed looked as if he were about to stand he had his weapon ready to fire. Hannah waved him off as Hutch informed her that Swat was ready to move in and to hold their positions.

“You stay out of the way Hutchinson,” Templeton said as he ordered his men to move in. Hutch followed behind as they stealthy moved their way toward the front and rear of the building. Hutch crouched near the front door, his gun still holstered but he was ready to draw it at a moments notice. He would do anything to protect Hannah even go against the mighty Harry Templeton. The door was opened a crack and a can of smoke was hurled into the bank, it began spewing its throat choking smoke. The hostages began to scream not understanding it was the police coming in. Dale began firing wild shots at the front door shattering the glass. He ran toward the back of the room still firing shots. Ed stood up to block his way. Dale fired his direction but the smoke was so thick it missed his target. Hannah ran toward him her gun stretched out in front of her ready to take him down. Dale turned toward her and leveled his gun at her.
Hutch crept into the building following the swat officers. They hadn’t fired any shots yet fearing they might hit a hostage or their fellow officers. “GET DOWN, GET DOWN,” They were all yelling as they came into the room, “WE ARE SWAT.”
In the swirling smoke Hutch could just make out the gunman aiming his gun directly at Hannah. He let out a yell as he was drawing his weapon.
Hannah lunged toward the gunman in hopes of throwing him off guard several shots rang out. It was hard with the smoke to tell who had fired or if anybody was hit.
“THE GUNMAN IS DOWN! REPEAT THE GUNMAN IS DOWN!” Yelled a member of the Swat team. “HE IS SECURED!”
The other members of the team swarmed the building hustling the hostages out of the smoke. And making sure the rest of the building was clear.
Then came a call that made Hutch’s heart be faster. “OFFICER DOWN!”



                                                                                  Chapter 3

Hutch tried to go to the back of the room where the call came from but Templeton held him in place. “Not until the scene is secured.”
“But the gunman is secured.”
“Until the whole area is secured you will not move in.” Templeton ordered.
“I don’t see Hannah,” Hutch more to himself than the man standing next to him.
“I’m sure she is fine.” Templeton said as he watched his men combing the room to make sure there were no more gunmen lurking around.
Finally the all clear was given, Hutch rushed to where the Swat team had gathered. He shoved one of the members of the team out of his way so he could see who was on the floor. His greatest fear came true he saw Ed bent over the still form of Hannah. Hutch closed his eyes not even aware he was saying a silent prayer to himself. “Get out of my way.” Hutch pushed another man out of the way and dropped to the floor next to Ed.
Ed gave Hutch a sorrowful look, “She was hit in the head.”
Hutch picked up her arm to feel for a pulse; it was there but very faint. “Where the hell are the paramedics?” he yelled.
It seemed like hours before Hannah was loaded into the waiting life squad and taken to the hospital but in reality it had been less than ten minutes. Hutch knew what he had to do; he stopped Ed, “Would you go to the hospital with her? I need to tell Starsk.”
“You don’t even have to ask,” Ed said choking on his words. Hutch had never seen the veteran cop in such a state.
“We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

Hutch paused outside Starsky’s apartment door, turning over in his mind how he was going to break the news to his partner. How was he going to tell him that his only daughter had been shot in the head? At least she was still alive or had been when she had been loaded into the life squad. Hutch started to knock then pulled out his keys and opened the door. He could hear the TV on in the bedroom.
As he entered Starsky was sitting up in bed looking much better, “Hey Hutch did you hear about this?” Starsky asked pointing at the TV, the news had broken in with the bank robbery story. “A cop was shot.” Starsky intently watched the screen; Hutch stepped into the room so that he could see what the reporters were saying. He was thankful they hadn’t given a name yet.
Hutch took a deep breath, “Starsky.”
“There you are!” Starsky exclaimed as film of Hutch coming out of the building with the gurney flashed on the screen. “Who got shot?” When Hutch didn’t answer Starsky looked at his friend. Hutch was almost white, his eyes grief stricken. “Hutch?” Suddenly Starsky was frightened; surely they wouldn’t send Hannah on a bank robbery call. “Hutch answer me who got shot?”
Hutch sat down next to Starsky, “It was…Hannah Starsk.”
The blood drained from Starsky’s face and he leaped from the bed. “Is she okay?” He asked as he pulled clothes on and jammed his feet into tennis shoes. “How bad Hutch, how bad?”
“Slow down Starsky you still aren’t feeling well.”
“Screw how I feel,” Starsky stormed. “Tell me how my baby is?”
“Hannah was shot in the head, but she is still alive,” Hutch answered hating the look on Starsky’s face for he knew what he was thinking.
Terry all over again…Starsky sat down on the edge of the bed stunned. “I can’t do this again, I can’t.”
Hutch put his arm around his partners shoulder. “It will be different this time buddy. You’ll see Hannah will be fine.”
Starsky looked at Hutch searching his face for the truth, he didn’t like what he saw for he could tell Hutch didn’t believe his own words. People rarely survived being shot in the head. “I have to get to her.” Starsky stood up the room swam in front of him and he would have fallen if Hutch hadn’t grabbed him.
“Starsky you need see a doctor.” Hutch said as he helped Starsky down to the car. “They aren’t going to let you see her like this, you might infect her with what ever you have.”
“I have to see her,” Starsky almost sobbed. “I have to tell her I love her.”
“Hannah knows how much you love her.” Hutch said as he started the car and pulled away from the curb.
By the time the two detectives got to the hospital the doctors had stabilized Hannah but she was in critical condition in intensive care. They were ushered to the office of the doctor who had been working on Hannah.
Dr. Mathew Colure entered still in his scrubs. He closed the door then addressed the men that stood upon his arrival. “Mr. Starsky?”
Starsky stepped forward to shake the man’s hand, “Detective Starsky and this is my partner Ken Hutchinson. How is my daughter?”
“We were able to stabilize her but we haven’t removed the bullet yet.” Dr. Colure informed them. The room began to swim for Starsky and he went down before either man could catch him.
The doctor looked at Hutch, “He hasn’t been feeling well, I took him home this morning.” But Hutch was sure that wasn’t what did it, it was the words remove and bullet, it was Terry all over again. “There is something you need to know Doctor,” Hutch said as Colure went to call for a stretcher.
After hanging up the phone the doctor asked, “What is that?”
“Starsky lost a girlfriend years ago she had been shot in the head. They couldn’t remove the bullet, she lived for a short time but finally it shifted and it killed her.”
“I’m sorry,” the doctor said sympathy filled his voice. “But I believe that we will be able to remove the bullet from Miss Starsky’s head. We just want to give her a couple of days first then we will go in and remove it. I think she will make a full recovery.”
There was a knock on the office door then it opened two orderlies pushed in a stretcher. “Take Detective Starsky down to emergency, have one of the docs check him out. Sounds like the flu.”

When Starsky awoke he found himself in emergency with a needle stuck in his arm attached to a bottle. “What the hell is this?” he said trying to get off the bed.
The doctor rushed in followed by Hutch. “Detective Starsky you must be still until this IV is finished. You are very dehydrated.”
“I need to see my daughter.”
“You are in no shape to see your daughter right now. You finish that bottle and then we will see.” The doctor ordered.
Starsky lay back but he was agitated and Hutch knew it would only be moments until he was trying to pull out the IV. “Starsky how about if I go check on Hannah? Then when they are finished with you, you can see her?”
Starsky relaxed slightly. “Okay Hutch. Tell Hannah I love her.”
The doctor led Hutch into intensive care and pointed to the third door down. “She is in there, you can stay just a moment. There are masks just out side the door please put one on. We don’t want to take any chances since you have been exposed to your partner.”
Hutch nodded and went down the hallway; he found a supply of masks just as the doctor had said. He put it on then entered the room; it was dim with several machines blinked and chirped. Hannah lay in the hospital bed her head swathed in white bandages. The doctor hadn’t said if she were conscious or not. Hutch walked slowly to where she lay wondering how Starsky would get through if Hannah didn’t make it. He picked up her hand and held it then whispered. “Your dad loves you,” then he added, “So do I.”
“I love you too,” Hannah mumbled but her eyes didn’t open.
Hutch was surprised that she had spoken, “Hannah?”
“Hey Uncle Hutch,” she said grimacing. Her head hurt unbelievably, so bad in fact it was just easier for her to keep her eyes closed. “Did we get the bad guys?”
“You did a great job Hannah, because of you we knew what was going on inside.”
“Where’s Daddy?”
“You won’t believe this, he’s down emergency.”
“What?” her brow creased with worry.
“He’s ok just dehydrated. You know your dad takes care of everybody but himself.”
Hannah tried to smile but it hurt too badly. “I’m going to be okay you tell him that ok?”
“I’ll tell him.”
Hannah didn’t say any more and Hutch could tell she had fallen asleep. He sat a few more minutes with her then left to tell Starsky he had talked to her.
He was on his way back to emergency when Ed caught up with him, he was holding a manila envelope. “Hey Hutch how’s Hannah?” Since he wasn’t related they wouldn’t let Ed into see her.
“Holding her own. She’s talking.” Hutch said.
Ed handed him the envelope, “Hannah’s stuff, badge, gun.”
“Thanks Ed.” Hutch said taking it.
“Hutch there is somebody body from the inquiry board looking for you.” Ed told him. “Everybody that was involved in the bank robbery has had their guns taken and put on leave.”
It was a common practice when the police were involved in a shooting. Every step would be gone over to see just what happened. “Thanks Ed, I’ll turn in Hannah’s gun too.”
“Hutch they don’t know who shot Hannah.”
“What do you mean?”
“They think it might have been friendly fire.”


                                                                                          Chapter 4
​

The words “friendly fire” echoed in Hutch’s head as he proceeded to where Starsky was. She had been shot by one of their own! It wasn’t impossible and it happened from time to time. In the confusion with bullets flying anything was possible. Hutch had made up his mind by the time he pushed back the curtained area Starsky was in he wouldn’t tell his partner…at least not yet.
Starsky was sound asleep when Hutch entered. He was relieved and sat down next to him. Moments later the curtain was push back again a man dressed in a suit motioned for Hutch to follow him. Once they were out in the hall the man addressed Hutch, “Detective Hutchinson I’m Stan Madison from internal affairs I’ll need your shield and weapon.”
Hutch nodded as he pulled his gun out of his shoulder holster, “I have Hannah Starsky’s gun and badge also.”
“How is she doing Detective?”
“Stable for now.”
“Good let’s hope she stays that way.”
Hutch furrowed his brow wondering what the man meant by that. Even if it had been friendly fire the office that had shot her wasn’t likely to lose his job. It had been an accident in the confusion. Hutch produced his badge from his pocket and also handed it to the man.
“You are suspended from duty until further notice. You will report to the station at eight a.m. tomorrow morning to appear in front the board.”
“Yes sir,” Hutch answered.
“Hutch?” Starsky voice filtered out into the hall.
“Is that all? I need to see to my partner.”
“Don’t be late Hutchinson.”
Hutch watched the man walk down the hall then went to see about Starsky. “Hey sleepy head.”
“How is Hannah?”
“Starsk she is fine I even talked to her.” Hutch said sitting back down next to his partner. He looked up at the IV bottle. “Looks like you are done. How are you feeling?”
“Better…I think,” Starsky answered. He still felt lousy but he wasn’t about to tell Hutch that. “You think that doctor will let me out of here now?”
“I’ll go check.”

The two detectives stood outside Hannah’s room staring at her through the glass. The doctor wouldn’t allow Starsky in the room. But it made him feel better just being able to see her. Hutch nudged his friend, “I think it’s time you go home and get some rest. I’ll bring you back in before I have to be at the station.”
“Board of inquiry?”
Hutch nodded they had been through it many times. But Hutch felt this time it was going to be pretty intense and he wasn’t looking forward to it. After Hutch dropped Starsky off at his apartment he lay wake thinking about the events of the day. They would know eventually who shot Hannah with the ballistic reports.
Starsky had been upset that Hannah had even been there but she had been on the force for nearly a year and proved time and again that she knew how to handle herself. She was a crack shot, could take down a 200-pound suspect with out breaking a nail and talk endlessly to an old woman who had only called the police because she had been lonely. Hannah knew what she was doing there was no doubt about that.

Hutch showed up in the hall out side the office they were doing the interviews in promptly at eight the next morning. Dobey was there for moral support, several of the Swat team members there also waiting their turns. Harry Templeton was being interviewed first since he had been the head of the whole show. More and more officers showed up, they all came and went while Hutch cooled his heels in the hall. Dobey had even given up going back to work.
At last the door opened and his name was called. He entered the room to find the lawyer that resented the officers on the side of the table closest to the door while Stan Madison sat on the other side along with a couple of men Hutch didn’t know.
“Sit down Detective Hutchinson,” Madison said as he stood going to a black board where a lay out of the bank had been drawn. Ed had been in the night before to describe what he and Hannah had done and to give his statement. There were X’s with names beside them showing where the Swat members and gunmen had been. So far there was no X for Hutch. “Would you please go to the black board and show us where you were?”
“Yes sir,” Hutch went to the board and as well as he could remember put a X where he had been crouch then he drew a line to show when he had advanced and had been standing when the call had come that an officer was down.
“Thank you Detective, please take your seat.” Madison said. Then he asked, “Did you fire you weapon?”
“Yes,” Hutch said when all the commotion had began he had fired at the suspect.
“What were you doing there Detective?” Madison asked. “Are you a part of the Swat team?”
Hutch looked  at the lawyer who nodded. If Hutch refused to answer he could be dismissed from the police department. “No sir I’m not. I heard the call on the radio as I was going back to the station. I was several blocks away so I went to see if I could help.”
Madison nodded, “But when you saw that Swat had it under control why did you remain?”
“I found out that my partners daughter was in the bank.”
“That would be Officer Hannah Starsky, correct?”
“Yes sir.”
“And you felt you knew the Swat teams job better than they did so you insisted on going in with them. Is that correct?”
“No sir,” Hutch was taken aback by the man’s tone of voice. “I wanted to be there for Hannah.”
“Isn’t she a trained police woman?”
“Yes sir.”
“Then why did you think she would need your help?”
“I..ah,” Hutch stammered. “I just felt the need to be there.”
“That’s all well and good Detective but you had no business demanding to go in with the team. These men train for hours, they know each others moves, thoughts.”
“I know that sir,” Hutch answered. “I don’t understand what the problem is.”
“The problem is,” Boomed Madison, “A rookie cop is in the hospital with a bullet in her head. There is only one weapon that can’t be matched with a bullet. The reason for that is because the bullet is still in Officer Starsky’s head.”
“Whose gun?”
“Yours Officer Hutchinson. We have accounted for all bullets they all match the weapons and number of shots. Yours is the only one we can’t find a bullet for so we have to surmise that it is in the head of Officer Starsky.”
Hutch’s face went white and his hands fell limply to his sides. “But…”
“Detective Hutchinson your suspension stands. Once that bullet is retrieved from Officer Starsky’s head we will see what happens to you. You could be brought up on charges; you had no business in that building. But it was Templeton’s call to allow you in. Just so you know he has been demoted and is out of the Swat program.”
Hutch sat opened mouthed he couldn’t believe that this was happening. If it were his bullet in Hannah’s head he would never forgive himself. And Starsky what was Starsky going to say when he told him. Plus he had gotten one of the best men the Swat team ever had sent off to do traffic control or some other menial job.

Hutch wasn’t allowed the luxury of telling his partner himself. It was all over the news by the time he reached the hospital. The press had been clamoring for information about the shooting and Madison was hanging Hutch out to dry. Templeton’s name never came up only Hutch’s as an officer that was some place he didn’t belong.
He found Starsky standing in the waiting room down the hall from Hannah’s room. His fever was finally gone so the doctor had allowed him to visit Hannah for a short time but he was clothed in not only a mask but a gown and gloves just in case he was still contagious.
“How’s Hannah?” Hutch asked as he entered the waiting room.
“You bastard,” Starsky turned to glare at his partner. He was seething with anger. “Hannah has a bullet in her head because of you? You shot her?”
“Starsk it was an accident, the room was so full so smoke.”
“So you shot blindly, hell a month old rookie knows better than that.” Starsky advanced on his friend and grabbed the collar of Hutch’s leather jacket with both fists. “You get out of here, you stay away from Hannah.” Starsky gave Hutch a shove sending him sprawling into a chair.
“Starsky they aren’t even sure it was my bullet.” Hutch said wounded by his partner’s words. He couldn’t believe Starsky was turning on him even before the facts were in.
“All you have to do is put two and two together it’s not that damn hard. A missing bullet? And where is it? In my daughters head! That is where the hell it is.” Starsky yelled at him. “I don’t want to hear anymore of your excuses. Just get the hell out of my sight.”
Hutch got up and left the room, he turned to go down the hall to see Hannah but Starsky was upon him instantly. “Don’t you understand the meaning of leave?”
“I just wanted to see Hannah before I left.”
“To make sure she was still alive?”
Hutch took a deep breath, he wanted to say something but didn’t know what so he turned and walked toward the elevator.
“Don’t come back.” Starsky called after him.

When Hutch left the hospital several reporters were waiting for him. One stuck a microphone in his face and asked. “How does it feel to have shot your partners daughter?”
“What’s going to happen to your career?” another fired off.
“Does your partner know what you did?” came still another question.
Hutch kept walking his eyes on the ground; he didn’t even acknowledge that he had been spoken too. He headed home but found another flock of reporters waiting there also. His final haven was the Pits and he hoped that the reporters didn’t know about it. Hutch was relieved to see that there wasn’t a throng of microphone toting reporters hovering out side the bar. He parked his car in the ally and went in the back door.
“Who you hiding from?” Huggy asked when he saw him enter the bar from the back.
“You don’t know?” Hutch asked surveying the bar for reporters.
Huggy shook his head; Hutch noticed that a ball game was on. “Hannah okay?” the bar keeper asked.
“Still the same,” Hutch answered he was afraid to tell Huggy for fear he would be angry too. “Huggy it’s my bullet, I shot Hannah.”
Huggy stared at his friend for a moment letting the words sink in. “Does Starsky know?”
Hutch nodded, “He’s not taking it too well. He threw me out of the hospital told me not to come back.”
“He’ll come around, once Hannah is out of danger. He has never stayed mad at you for long.”
“This isn’t some girl friend we are fighting over. I damn near killed his daughter and I’m not so sure I haven’t.”


                                                                                                Chapter 5


“Where is Uncle Hutch?” Hannah asked. She hadn’t seen him since the day she had been brought in.
“Working, one of us has to ya know,” Starsky quipped trying to keep the hatred he felt for Hutch out of his voice. He had gone home that night after he had found out that his partner was the one who shot Hannah. It almost felt funny to open the door and enter his apartment with out Hutch. He was always there especially when he was sick or hurting. Hutch had been there through so much, Rosie, Terry, times when he had been shot and the list went on. Hutch was always there. But those days were over, how could he ever trust him again. Hutch shot Hannah plain and simple there was no excuse for what he had done. If Hannah died…no he wasn’t even going to go there for it was too painful for him to even fathom.
Starsky slept restlessly that night, tossing and turning. Nightmares plagued his sleep, not only because of Hutch but the doctors had decided it was time to remove the bullet from Hannah’s head. Even though she was strong it was still a dangerous operation.
At first light Starsky woke and rolled over to grab the phone. He knew Hutch would quell his fears over Hannah’s impending operation. Then he remember, the whole reason she was there was because of his partner. Starsky snatched his hand away from the phone as if it had burnt him.

Huggy had to drive Hutch home himself that night, he had never seen the detective that drunk before. Huggy got Hutch into bed then dropped his car keys on the coffee table figuring he would come after his car once he sobered up.
When Hutch awoke in the morning the whole room spun when he tried to get out of bed. He wasn’t even sure where he was or how he got there. The last thing he remembered was talking to Huggy as he sat at the end of the bar. He staggered in the bathroom and turned on the shower, as cold as he could stand it hoping that would help. He stood under the freezing water until his lips turned blue, then he got out dried off and put on his clothes. His head was still swimming, he wondered how Hannah was doing, he hadn’t gotten to see her yesterday. Hutch’s only hope was that Starsky would forgive him in time that was if he could ever forgive himself.
He went into the kitchen to make him self something to eat but the thought of food only made his stomach turn. So he wandered into the living room wondering what he was going to do with himself. He was suspended from work, Starsky didn’t want him at the hospital and the last place he needed to go was back to Huggy’s.

Starsky held Hannah’s hand, “Daddy I’m kind of scared.”
“Oh honey,” he said leaning over to kiss her forehead. “You are going to be fine.” Hannah looked up at her father and hiked her eyebrow at him even that movement made her head hurt. “Okay okay I’m scared too but it really is going to be fine.”
“I can’t believe that Uncle Hutch isn’t here.” Hannah said lifting her head on the pillow to stare out the window, she had seen their faces so many time staring back at her.
“I’m sure he will be here soon.” Starsky had lied, he wasn’t going to tell Hannah what happened yet but he knew he would have to soon. She would either find out from TV or when the board of inquiry started asking questions. It was only a matter of time before she found out who shot her. He wondered how she would feel about it, how she would feel about his reaction to Hutch.

The operation took three very long hours, Starsky paced the waiting room, there was nobody there to comfort him, no Hutch to tell him it was going to be fine or give him change for the candy machine. No Hutch to get after him about eating that candy bar.
He wondered what Hutch was going through, just as Hutch was his support system he was Hutch’s. Now they had no one.
Little did Starsky know but Hutch was in the hospital at that very moment in the main waiting room. He stayed away from the surgical floor knowing that was where Starsky would be. Hutch was pretty much mirroring Starsky’s action of pacing the room. Several others who were waiting gave him annoyed looks as his constant pacing was making them nervous.
Exhausted from being ill, the stress and not sleeping well Starsky’s body finally took over, he was asleep on the couch when Doctor Colure shook the sleeping detective awake.
Starsky sprung up from the couch, “Hannah is she alright?”
The doctor smiled as he sat down next to Starsky, “Detective Starsky your daughter is going to be just fine. She came though the operation with flying colors she is one very strong young lady.
Starsky went limp with relieve and his first thought was to tell Hutch but he shook the idea from his head, “Can I see her?”
“Hannah will be up from recovery in about an hour but you can wait in her room.

“Detective Hutchinson?” A nurse called to him from the doorway.
“That’s me,” Hutch said as he came toward her hoping it was good news.
“Miss Starsky is out of surgery and is doing just fine.”
“Thank you,” Hutch then walked out of the hospital and out of their lives. Hannah was all right that was all that mattered to him now. He knew he and Starsky were finished and how could he blame him.
It was late that evening when Hutch finally got home. This time he hadn’t been drinking but thinking. If that bullet matched his gun then his career was over in the police department. They probably wouldn’t fire him but do him like they did Templeton and strip him of being a detective and send him back to being a street cop or even worse put him behind a desk. That wasn’t what he wanted.
He had walked the streets trying to decide what to do where to go, there was sure nothing to keep him there. He had only been in his apartment for a few minutes when the phone rang. He almost didn’t answer it, then he though that by some miracle it might be Starsky. “Starsky?”
“It’s Dobey,” The captain answered.
“Hi Cap,” Hutch said as he braced himself for the news. There was only reason Harold Dobey would be calling him that late.
“The results from the ballistics tests are in.” Dobey said. The moment the bullet had been removed from Hannah’s head it had been whisk off by internal affairs. “Hutch I’m sorry it was from your gun.”
Hutch nodded but didn’t speak, he had been still holding out hope that it hadn’t be his. Slowly he hung up the phone then he sat down on the couch and began to sob…he could have killed Hannah.

It was after midnight when Hutch walked slowly down the hall to Hannah’s room. He peer in the door, she was sleeping peacefully. Hutch just wanted to get one final look; he had been relieved that Starsky wasn’t there. He stood there for several minutes watching her sleep as he turned to go Hannah called out to him.
“Uncle Hutch?”
He stepped into the room, “Hi Hannah,” he whispered.
She held out her hand to him. He took it and sat down next to her. “Where have you been?”
“Around.”
“That’s not an answer,” Hannah looked at him. “What’s going on? Both you and Daddy are acting funny.”
“Hannah, I have something I need to tell you,” Hutch took a deep breath, tears sprung to his eyes. “I was the one that shot you.”
At first she didn’t say anything, just pondered his words then she smiled, “I thought you were a better shot than that.”
I’m so…” he began. “What did you say?”
“I said I thought you were a better shot. Heck you are the one that taught me on the shooting range. I’m a crack shot got the awards to prove it.”
“Hannah you do understand what I mean. At the bank it was my bullet that hit you in the head…almost killed you.”
Hannah laughed again. “Don’t you know by now that you can’t kill us hard headed Starsky’s?” Then she turned serious, “Uncle Hutch it was an accident, it was crazy in there that day. That gunman had me point blank in the chest. I think you shooting me might have saved my life.”
The gunman’s bullet had been found in the wall behind where Hannah had been standing, if she hadn’t been shot and fallen out of the way she surely would have been killed. “That is one hell of a way to save somebody. Hannah I’m still sorry I shouldn’t have been in there.”
She gripped his hand tighter, “Uncle Hutch I’m glad you were.”



                                                                                              Chapter 6

When Hannah woke the next morning she found her father sitting next to her, Hutch was gone. Her stirring roused Starsky, he smiled at her as he sat up. “How are you doing?”
“I feel pretty good. You think they will let me out of here?” Hannah asked pushing her self up in bed.
“You just had a bullet removed from your head I don’t think you are going today.” Sometimes Hannah was so much like him it scared him. He knew he would be saying the same thing. Starsky had also gotten the word last night that the bullet had been fired from Hutch’s gun, now it was time that Hannah knew. “Honey I have something to tell you.”
She looked at the serious face before her and knew what he was about to say. Before he could say it Hannah beat him to it. “I know Daddy.”
“Know what?”
“Uncle Hutch is the one that shot me.”
“How did you find out?”
“He told me.”
“Hutch was here?” The anger crept back in to Starsky. “I told him to stay away from you.”
“You did what? Is that what has been going on? You two are on the outs because of me?” Hannah was horrified.
“He could have killed you Hannah.”
“But he didn’t, in fact I think he saved my life.” Hannah quickly explained what had gone down in the bank. “It was an accident plain and simple. You turned on him over this? You are his friend!” Hannah was in tears, she knew how close her father and Hutch were. “He is going through all this alone? Did you ever stop to think how he must feel? I’m sure he is punishing himself far more than you ever could.”
The anger fled Starsky and quickly as it had come. “What have I done?” Starsky said looking at his daughter. “Do you know what an incredible person you are?”
She shook her head, “I’m not incredible just understanding. It could have just as easily been you in that bank. You pulling the trigger.”
“I’ve got to find Hutch,” Starsky said hoping he hadn’t all ready lost his friend for good.

After talking to Hannah, Hutch had gone home and packed then wrote out his resignation, which he handed into Dobey early the next morning. Dobey reluctantly took the envelope. Then the captain in formed his ex-detective that he had to show up for a formal hearing in four weeks. Hutch had nodded numbly, cleaned out his desk and left.

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naïve
I’m just out to find
The better part of me
I’m more than a bird…I’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see
It may sound absurd…but don’t be naïve
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed…but won’t you concede
Even Heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me
Up, up and away…away from me
It’s all right…You can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy…or anything…
I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naïve
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
It’s not easy to be me.


Starsky went from the hospital to Hutch’s apartment; he knocked several times then unlocked the door and let himself in. All the curtains were drawn, he called out to his friend but there was no answer. Starsky went to the bedroom, the closet door was standing open and some of the drawers weren't quite closed all the way. It was pretty clear that Hutch had packed a suitcase. He noticed that a picture of the two of them was missing from Hutch’s dresser.
“SHIT!” Starsky yelled and slammed his fist into the door jam, what had he done? He went into the living room and picked up the phone to call Huggy maybe he would know where his partner had gone. But Huggy had no idea and hadn't see Hutch since the night he had brought him home drunk.
Starsky took one last look around the apartment then headed toward the station perhaps for some reason Hutch was there. He knew that pending a hearing Hutch couldn't go far.
Dobey was sitting at his desk in grossed in paper work when his office door banged open and Starsky walked.
“Damn Starsky are you ever going to learn to knock?” Dobey growled.
“Where is Hutch?” Starsky asked his captain. Starsky didn't like the look on Dobey’s face. “Well? Do you know or not?”
“He handed in his resignation this morning,” Dobey said wondering what was going on. With Hannah in the hospital Dobey had just assumed that Hutch was there with Starsky. Suddenly that seemed not to be the case anymore. The only reason he had accepted Hutch’s resignation was that he figured that Starsky would talk him out of it. He hadn't even turned it in; the letter sat in his top desk drawer. “Something going on with you and Hutchinson?”
“It’s a long story Cap and I have made a complete ass out of myself. So if you know where Hutch has gone please tell me.” Starsky pleaded.
“He said he needed some alone time. The hearing is in four weeks, he will have to be back then.”
Four weeks was a long time. Starsky sadly returned to the hospital, not wanting to face Hannah. He racked his brain on the way there trying to figure out just where Hutch might go. Starsky knew that Hutch had to be carrying around a whole lot of guilt and he sure hadn't helped any. Now Hutch was facing a trial, Starsky was sure nothing would come of it but you never knew. But he would be there to support his partner.

Hutch drove around town for several hours before finally deciding where to go. He was sure Dobey wouldn't mind so he pointed his car in the direction of his captain’s cabin at the lake. Even that would be a painfully place for him. There was scarcely a place he could go that didn't remind him of his friendship with Starsky and what he had lost.
Four weeks that would give him time to decide what to do with the rest of his life. It sure wouldn't be spent in L.A. Even if he were cleared he didn't think he would ever be able to pick up a gun again.

A nurse had Hannah on her feet walking down the corridor when Starsky returned to the hospital. His daughters face light up when she saw her father. “Where’s Uncle Hutch?”
“Honey I don’t know,” Starsky said taking over for the nurse.
“You don’t know?”
“He has turned in his resignation in.”
“What?”
“Don’t worry it hasn't gone past Cap’s desk. Not yet anyway. I think he’s going to hold on to it until I can talk some sense into him.”
“So where is he?” Hannah asked she was feeling stronger by the minute.
“I’m not a mind reader.”
“But you are a detective so get out there and detect.” Hannah grinned at him. “Nobody knows Uncle Hutch better than you do.”
Hannah was right and Starsky knew it. “Cap said something about Hutch wanting to be alone.”
“Okay so where would he go to do that?” Hannah said leaning against the wall to rest a moment.
Starsky racked his brain, “I don’t know…uh…when ever we go on vacation it’s usually together or he goes with the current girl friend.”
“So where is that? Is there some place you guys go that he might go alone?”
Suddenly recognition dawned on Starsky’s face, he tried to shake the thought away but it wouldn't go. “I think I know where he might be.”
“Let’s go!”
Starsky laughed, “Baby I think I had better do this one on my own.” He knew that the doctors would never let her out of the hospital yet but he wasn't going to toss that in her face. “I screwed up it’s better I straighten it out.”
Hannah smiled she knew too that she wouldn't be allowed to go and loved her father for not using that. “You bring him back to us. I need him…you need him.”
First Starsky guided Hannah back to her room and made sure she was comfortable. And as he was leaving Hannah heard him mumbling something about “those damn woods”.


                                                                                                        Chapter 7


Hutch sat on the top step leading into the cabin; he had been sitting there for most of the day except for a short walk he had taken. He thought that perhaps spending some time alone in the woods might help him sort out his feelings but it had only seem to depress him more. He hadn’t had more than a couple hours sleep each night, as his sleep was plagued with hellish nightmares of Hannah and the shooting. It played over and over in his nightmares as well as he thoughts during the day.
He was looking down but heard the car approach, he knew with out even looking up who it was. He heard the crunching of the gravel as the car stopped and the person step out. “What are you doing here Starsky?” he asked not lifting his eyes.
“Came to see how you are doing?”
“How’s Hannah?”
“She’s doing great they had her up walking today, should be home by the end of the week.”
Hutch nodded but didn't say more.
“What are doing up here?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes it matters, Dobey said you turned in your resignation.”
Hutch didn't answer.
“Why did you do that?”
Still no answer.
“Hutch talk to me.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m your friend. I might not have acted like it the last few days but…”
“I got what I deserved.” Hutch said softly.
“You deserved my support.”
Finally Hutch looked up at Starsky. “I don’t deserve anything. I damn near killed your daughter, and cost a fine officer is position.”
“Hutch it was an accident plan and simple.” Starsky said using his daughter's words.
“I shouldn't have been in there. If I had stayed out side where I belonged none of this would never have happened.”
“And Hannah might be dead. That gunman had her point blank Hutch, Hannah told me all about it. You went in because you love Hannah as much as I do and all you could think of was protecting her.”
“Whatever.” Hutch went back to staring at the ground. He wanted to ask Starsky why the turn around, he had banished him from their lives and now here he was at his doorstep.
“Hutch you are my best friend I love you.” Starsky took a step closer.
Hutch sprung up turned on his heel and went inside slamming the cabin door.
Starsky stood there for a few moments in shock. He thought of knocking on the door but he knew it would do no good. So he got back in his car and headed for the hospital and Hannah.

The moment Starsky walked into Hannah’s room she asked. “Where is Uncle Hutch?”
“Up at Dobey’s cabin.”
“You didn't bring him back?”
He shook his head back and forth he was afraid to speak for fear he would cry. Starsky was sure he had lost his best friend forever.
“Daddy?”
Starsky took a deep breath. “I think he just needs some time a long to sort things out.”
Hannah’s eyes narrowed she knew her dad very well now and there was more to it than just that. “He’s mad isn't he?”
Starsky thought for a moment, he wasn't sure he would call Hutch ‘mad’ it more like he had just given up. “Hannah he just needs some time.”
“Bullshit!”
“Hannah!” Starsky acted shocked.
“Daddy don’t you let him sit up there and brood over this.”
Starsky sighed. “You are right as usual.” He bent over and kissed her forehead. “I’ll try again tomorrow.”

Starsky went up the next day but the conversation was much the same as it had been the day before. It also ended the same way with Hutch getting up and slamming the door. Starsky was worried, Hutch was looking thin almost sick.
He went up the next day after that, Hutch was still sitting in the same spot. “Hey Hutch how about I make us something to eat. I’m starving.”
Hutch didn't respond just stared at the ground. He was getting weary of Starsky showing up everyday. He just wanted to be left alone. Hutch was existing on what little food the Dobey’s had left in the cabin which consisted of a few cans of peaches, beans and Vienna sausages. He was eating very little of that, he had already lost ten pounds since the shooting.
Starsky noticed how thin his partner was getting, “Come on Hutch, we can go down the mountain and get something to eat.”
“I’m fine.” Hutch said listlessly.
“Hutch you are not fine.” Starsky took a few steps toward his friend. Hutch got up to bolt into the house but this time Starsky was quicker and grabbed his arm restraining him. “Hutch you have got to come back with me. You have punished yourself enough, this is crazy.”
“A few days ago you didn't care what I did,” Hutch said wrenching his arm from Starsky’s grip. He stared down on the curly headed detective. “Just go home Starsky take care of Hannah, neither of you need me getting in the way.”
“Hutch you are anything but in the way. Hannah loves you she is the one that insisted that I find you.”
“So you aren't doing this because you wanted to but because Hannah told you to.”
“Hutch I didn't mean it that way,” Starsky said in an exasperated voice. “Hannah might have brought me to my senses but I’m here because I want you to come home. You are killing yourself out here.”
“Tell me Starsk just what do I have to live for uh? Even if I’m not kicked off the force I’ll be stuck at a desk job for the rest of my life. That’s not what I want to do.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“No? Ask Templeton what they did to him. I’m sure he’s not singing my praises these days. I’m sure he would love to kick my ass.”
Starsky didn't like what Hutch was saying but at least he had him uttering more than a few syllables at a time. “Damnit Hutch you didn't have anything do it with Templeton.”
“Wake up Starsky, come into the real world. I’m sure by this time you know exactly what went down that day. If Hannah hasn’t told you then I’m sure Dobey has.”
“Hannah only knows her side of the story she hasn't heard the rest. They are taking her deposition the moment she is out of the hospital.” Starsky told Hutch. “And believe me she is going to paint you as her hero not as somebody that almost killed her.”
Hutch closed his eyes as the day suddenly came rushing back to him. The smoke the gun that was pointed at her chest held by the gunman. His only thoughts were how to save Hannah he thought he had aimed at the gunman in fact he was sure of it. He rarely missed even in a situation like they had been in.
Hutch swayed a bit, Starsky grabbed his arm again to steady him. “Come on man lets get you out of here.”
But Hutch shook his head. “Go take care of Hannah.” With those words he went in the cabin closing the door.

It was several hours before Hutch ventured back out side but when he did he found a white paper sack full of fast food sitting on the steps. He sat down next to it, the smell wafted toward him but it only turned his stomach. Hutch moved the sack over with the side of his foot as if it were poison then he stared out into the woods. He played the scene over and over in his head, what could he have done differently? He knew the answer to the question…he could have and should have stayed out of it.
As he sat there a few spatters of rain hit his arm, he looked up into the cloudy sky wishing he could go back in time. The rain started to fall more steadily but he didn’t get up just sat there until he was drenched. Thunder roar above him and lighting flashed all around but Hutch just sat there hoping that maybe he would be struck by lightening.
Finally the storm passed by, sighing Hutch got up going back into the cabin but he left the food where it was. He went to the bathroom and striped off his wet clothes, which he left in a heap in the floor, he pulled on his bathrobe then went and lay down on a bed in one of the guest rooms. He had unplugged the phone the first day so that nobody could call. Hutch lay there as the sunset first casting a warm orange glow into the room announcing that the storm had moved on, then the darkness began to set in. He didn't move to turn on a light, didn't close his eyes just continued to stare at the ceiling although he could no longer see it.


                                                                                          Chapter 8


Starsky dreaded going back to Hannah with out Hutch. She got more upset by the day Hannah could tell just by the look on her father’s face things were not right. She was dozing when he stepped into her hospital room. There were balloons and planters of flowers filling her room; fellow officers and friends had been dropping by since she had been moved into a regular room.
He stood watching her sleep, he had to do something or Hutch was just going to waste way, he could never forgive himself if he allowed that to happen. He knew Hannah would be devastated also and blame herself.
Hannah began to moan in her sleep and toss her head from side to side. Starsky gently touched her shoulder to rouse her from her dream. Hannah’s eyes popped open and she sat up. “Are you alright?”
“Oh Daddy I know what happened that day.” Hannah had some minor memory loss after the shooting mostly details from that day.
“What are you talking about?”
“It wasn't Uncle Hutch’s fault.” Tears filled Hannah’s eyes. “It was Ed.”
“Honey calm down you aren't making any sense.” Starsky said trying to calm her. “It was just a bad dream.”
Hannah shook her head. “No, no there is something I have been trying to remember. When everything went crazy the smoke, the yelling, the Swat team coming in the gunman had his gun leveled right at me he was about to pull the trigger. I now remember, Ed came running and hit me from behind I guess he was trying to knock me to the ground. But all I did was stumble into the gunman, his gun went off but the bullet went over my shoulder. I was hit by Uncle Hutch’s bullet because I was push in the way of it.”
Starsky looked at her, “Hannah are you sure this isn't just wishful thinking? You know this could totally clear Hutch from any wrong doing?”
“I know Daddy.” Hannah said she was getting more agitated by the minute. “I have to talk to Ed.”
“Listen you calm down. The last thing you need is a set back. I want you out of here and home.” Starsky took her hand. “I’ll talk to Ed alright?”
Hannah lay back on her pillow, “Okay.”
“Has Ed been in to see you?”
She shook her head but pointed to one of the biggest arrangements in the room. “He just sent that.”
Starsky furrowed his brow that was very unlike Ed Desalvo, Starsky knew that the man thought of Hannah as one of his daughters and it was rather strange that he hadn't been in to see her. “I’ll go see if I can find him.”

All the officers involved with the bank incident were still on suspension until the hearing. So Starsky figured that Ed would be at home. He got his address from the station and drove over to see his daughter’s partner.
Ed was sitting in a swing on his front porch when Starsky drove up. He raised his hand in a greeting as Starsky started across the street. “How’s Hannah doing?” Ed asked as the detective mounted the stairs.
“Good she will be going home day after tomorrow.”
“That’s great.” Ed smiled. “I guess she will be ready for the hearing.”
Starsky nodded. “How about you Ed you ready for it?”
“Sure,” But Ed was a bit unnerved by the question. He hadn’t told the whole truth when he was in front of the inquiry board. He hadn’t exactly lied but he hadn’t told it all either.
“You mind telling me what happened that day?” Starsky asked joining him on the swing.
“Okay, you want something to drink I could get the Mrs. to bring you something.”
“I’m fine thanks.”
“Alrighty then let me think,” Ed explained it the way he had told the board.
When he had finished Starsky looked at him. “You aren’t leaving anything out?”
“Nnnno I don’t think so.”
Starsky thought that Ed looked nervous. “Well it’s just that Hannah is starting to remember more from that day. Things have been a bit fuzzy for her.”
Ed closed his eyes, “It was my fault,” The words came out in a rush.
“How’s that?” Starsky wanted to hear Ed’s version of the events.
Ed rubbed his face as if he were trying to rub the memory from his head. “There was so much going on, it was crazy in there. All I could see was that bastard with his gun leveled right at Hannah’s chest. I wanted to get to her and fast. I dove hoping to knock her to the ground but she held her balance only stumbled forward a bit. I guess she moved just enough that Hutch’s bullet caught her in the head instead of the gunman.” Ed was sobbing by the time he had finished. “I haven’t had the guts to face her especially with everything that has happened with Hutch and Templeton.”
“But why haven’t you come forward and cleared them?”
“Selfish reasons,” Ed hung his head. “I’m an old man ready to retire. I was afraid that they would take my pension away from me.”
“But Ed the only thing you have done wrong here is not tell the whole truth. You are ruining two men’s careers. Did you know that Hutch has put in his resignation?” Starsky didn’t go into any further details about Hutch. “And Templeton has been bumped down to a street cop?”
“I knew about Harry but not Hutch, I’m sorry Starsky.”
“Don’t tell me you are sorry. You have to make this right Ed you have to. This is destroying Hutch.”

Hutch sat up bolt up right in bed from another nightmare. He stared into the darkness trying to place where he was, and then he remembered and fell back into the bed, which was damp from his sweat. He wished that they hadn’t taken his gun from him, this would all be over if he had it. Hutch had even gone so far as to search the cabin for a rifle or gun but Dobey wasn’t a hunter, he only fished.
He knew he was wasting away but didn’t care it was only taking longer than he wanted. The only thing that was keeping him going was the unwanted visits from Starsky. The visits made him get out of bed and go to the porch; he didn’t want Starsky in the cabin. Starsky would know for sure then that he was barely eating. There were a couple of empty cans sitting around but they were a couple of days old. Finally he fell back into an uneasy sleep, his dreams getting stranger from the lack of food and water.

Starsky was back up at the cabin at first light. He saw the contents of the bag of food he had brought for Hutch dragged across the grass and into the woods. It wasn’t hard to tell it had been animals that had gotten the meal. What scared him the most was that Hutch wasn’t sitting on the steps this time. He was earlier than he had been being and hoped that Hutch was still inside the cabin. Starsky bounded up the stairs and pounded on the door, “Hutch you in there?” he yelled through the wooden door. He pounded harder, “Hutch wake up, I need to talk to you and you are going to listen this time.”
Tired of yelling Starsky turned the doorknob, which opened easily. He cautiously pushed the door open and looked it. It was dark, all the curtains closed, Starsky picked up one of the tin cans of food. It was still half full and had gone bad. Starsky sat it in the kitchen sink then called out, “Hutch?”
He opened Dobey’s bedroom door but the room was empty. He checked the kid’s room but they were also empty. There was only one bedroom left, slowly Starsky opened the door it was also empty but the bed had been slept in. “Damn,” he swore under his breath.
Starsky dashed out of the cabin and out on to the driveway. He knew Hutch’s car was there since he pulled up beside it when he got there. “HUTCH!” he yelled cupping his hands around his mouth to direct the sound. He called several times but there was no answer. Starsky went toward the lake he was frighten now of what he might find. And cursed him self for leaving his friend there. If he hadn’t felt the need to also be with Hannah he would have just camped out there until Hutch came to his senses and came home with him.



                                                                                                 Chapter 9


Just before dawn Hutch had awoke again, he was burning up sweat dripping. He got up, pulled on a pair of jeans and let himself out of the cabin. Heading toward the back of cabin Hutch entered the dark cool woods. He stumbled around tripping over unseen roots, being hit by low hanging branches. Hutch thought he heard something behind him. He whipped around and stared into the darkness trying to make out who or what it was. “Somebody there?” He thought about the time he and Starsky had been there rescuing a young girl from a group of Satanist. But this time there was nobody to watch his back.
Hutch turned and went blindly onward not really caring if he were being prayed up on. He fell over something and went sprawling on the forest floor, the smell of damp leaves and moist earth filled his nostrils. Hutch just lay there; he closed his eyes letting the ground swallow him up.
When Hutch opened his eyes sunlight was filtering though the tall trees spreading a warm glow all around him. If he hadn’t been so despondent he would have enjoyed the moment. Slowly he push himself to a sitting position, his jeans were clammy and clinging to him. He noticed he had several scratches on his torso and arms from the bushes and branches that he had brushed against. He got up, looking around he realized that he could see the cabin though the trees. Tediously he made his way toward the cabin, just as he started out of the woods he saw Starsky walking around as if he were looking for something. That something was undoubtedly him, Hutch hung back and watched Starsky until he got in his car and backed down the driveway.
Hutch emerged from the woods carefully ready to duck back in if Starsky should reappear. He made it back into the cabin, he wondered if his ex-partner had left food again not that he cared. He hadn’t eaten in more than two days and wasn’t interested in eating now. Hutch looked around the cabin but nothing seemed disturbed so he went back to the bedroom and flopped down on the bed. His bones ached from lying on the hard ground, he felt tired and cold. He curled up on his side in a ball hoping to fall asleep with out any nightmares this time.

Starsky was almost frantic by the time he arrived back at the hospital, he found Hannah walking down the hall by herself. “Daddy what’s wrong?” she asked the moment that she saw his face.
“I can’t find Hutch, the cabin was empty but his car was still there.” Starsky answered her distraught.
“Maybe he just went for a walk.” Hannah suggested. But she didn’t understand how bad Hutch was, the shape he was in.
“Hannah this is serious, I think he has gone up there to die.”
Hannah’s face paled, she turned and started back to her room. “Why did you leave him up there?”
“Honey he’s a grown man I couldn’t drag him kicking and screaming.” Starsky said but asking himself the same question in his mind. “What are you doing?”
“I’m getting the hell out of here,” Hannah said opening the closet door in her room. All that hung there was her blood spatter uniform. “Damnit!” She turned and looked at her father. “I need clothes.”
“Hannah you aren’t ready to leave, you lay down I’ll go back and look for him I’ll call the rangers if I have too.”
“I’m getting out of here tomorrow morning. One day early can’t hurt! I’m going with or with the doctor’s permission so I suggest you go find him.” She spoke to Starsky as if he were her child instead of her father. Hannah could tell that Starsky was beside himself with worry, first her now Hutch. “And find me some clothes!”
Starsky just happened to run into Hannah’s doctor on his way to the elevator; he quickly explained what was going on. The doctor assured him that Hannah could go if she wanted, she had made a rapid recovery. So Starsky continued to the elevator to see if he could find Hannah something to wear in the gift store downstairs.
Dr. Colure was talking to Hannah when Starsky got back, he had a sack with a T-shirt he had purchased in the gift shop and a pair of scrub pants hanging over his arm that he had gotten from a sympathetic nurse. “I expect to see you once a week young lady and no going back to work for at least a month you got me?”
“She’s got you,” Starsky said sternly as he tossed his daughter the sack. “I’ll make sure she makes every appointment and doesn’t lift a finger until you give her the all clear.”
“Egads Daddy,” Hannah said holding up a t-shirt full of colorful flowers. “Do you think you could have found something a bit more gaudy?”
“Beggars can’t be choosers,” Starsky said as handed her the pants. Those she liked and put them immediately then she slipped the shirt over her head. “Did you hear the doctors orders?”
“Yes I got them all now can we get out of here?” Hannah asked as she stuffed her ruined uniform into the sack the shirt had come out of.
The ride to Dobey’s cabin for the most part was silent both Starsky’s lost in their own thoughts. The closer they got to the cabin the more apprehensive Starsky became. He should have never left he should have called the rangers, searched until he found his friend…what was wrong with him?
When he pulled in next to Hutch’s car the first thing they notice was the front door was standing open. “Did you leave it like that?” Hannah inquired.
“I don’t think so.” He said getting out of the car. “HUTCH?”
There wasn’t an answer not that Starsky was expecting one. Hannah came around the car and grabbed his hand; they looked at each other then walked toward the cabin. “What’s all this?” Hannah asked looking around at the remains of the food Starsky had brought Hutch.
“I brought him something to eat,” Starsky answered feeling even quiltier.
“It’s apparent he didn’t. Just how long to you think it’s been since he has eaten anything.”
Starsky shrugged but he was betting he hadn’t had much since the shooting. He knew how upset Hutch got over this stuff and with it being Hannah it was only magnified. “Hutch?” he called again as he pushed the door wider. He flipped on a light casting a soft glow to the room. “He is using that bedroom.” Hannah walked toward the closed door. “Hannah wait.” If it was bad he didn’t want her finding Hutch.
But Hannah stubborn like she was opened the door, “Dear God,” She cried as she rushed to Hutch’s side. He was still curled in a fetal position his breathing was shallow. “Uncle Hutch?” Hannah crawled on the bed with him. She felt his forehead, which was hot and clammy.
“Is he…?” Starsky asked going around to the side of the bed so he could look at his face.
“I think he is just passed out,” Hannah said looking across Hutch to her father her eyes filling with tears. “He looks awful.” She got up from the bed and went to the bathroom to get a cool washcloth to put on his forehead. Hutch emitted a low groan but didn’t open his eyes.
“Hutch,” Starsky said softly as he rolled his friend over. “Wake up.”
Hannah wiped his face, “Uncle Hutch, we are here.”
“I think I better call for help.”
As Starsky started to get up Hutch’s hand closed surprisingly strong around Starsky’s wrist. “No.”
“Hutch?” Starsky leaned closer. Hutch opened his eyes a crack and looked at him. “Come on buddy you need some help.”
“Leave me be,” Hutch croaked through cracked lips.
“It wasn’t your fault,” Hannah yelled, Hutch swiveled his head to look at her. “It was Ed, he shoved me pushing me in the line of fire. You didn’t miss…do you hear me?”
Hutch closed his eyes and faded into unconsciousness.


                                                                                           Chapter 10

Three weeks later


The courtroom was filled to overflowing, those that weren’t lucky enough to get there early had to stand in the hall. It was mostly officers and their families that sat on the edge of their seats to see what was going to be handed down in the bank robbery.
As the judge came in everybody rose, after he was seated and adjusted things in front of him he looked out over the crowd of people. “Let me remind you this is not a trial but a hearing. Depending on the findings of this hearing we will see if we need to precede to a trial.”
Many of the officers shifted in the their seats, this was a police officers nightmare. Doing the job they were trained for then getting slapped in prison for doing it. All eyes were riveted on the judge. Two lawyers sat at larges desks in front of the judge, one the prosecutor for the state the other representing the policemen involved in the shooting. Only three officers were being held accountable for the events of that day. Captain Harry Templeton, Officer Ed Desalvo and Detective Ken Hutchinson, these three sat next to the lawyer. The rest of the men and women involved in that day were seated in the hall as witnesses. Their key witness was Officer Hannah Starsky.
Starsky sat directly behind Hutch who had recovered from his malnutrition and dehydration but the severe depression remained and he was scarcely talking expect when forced. He understood that his shot had been true and if Hannah hadn’t been pushed in the way it would have hit it’s intended target. But the fact still remained he shot Hannah and it was only by the grace of God that she didn’t die. However, even though he could understand it deep down his friend and partner had turned on him. No matter how much time passed there would always be that doubt there that if he absolutely screwed up again would Starsky be there? In the past he had thought so, that no matter what he would have his partners support but that was no longer true. Blood was after all thicker than water or friendship.
Hutch sat listening to the judge not really caring what the out come was going to be. He had already turned in his resignation, but he figured it hadn’t seen the light of day and it was stuffed in Dobey’s desk drawer some place.
“…we are not here to send any of these fine officers to prison but to get to truth of what happened that day and to see if any of them acted improperly…”
Improperly, Hutch thought, he was only trying to protect a young woman that had become like a daughter to him what was improper about that? Unprofessional perhaps but not improper. He could feel Starsky at his back but it was no longer a comfort to him.
When he had awoke in the hospital, tubes in his arm feeding his malnutrition body he felt like ripping them out but Hannah had been standing next to him her face pinched in worry. He knew Starsky was on the other side but he didn’t turn his head to look at him only focused on Hannah.
“Welcome back,” Hannah whispered softly.
“How long have I been here?” Hutch asked.
“A couple of hours. A few more hours of fluids and the doc said we can take you home.”
“Why don’t you come stay at my place for a while buddy?” Starsky offer.
But Hutch shook his head still not looking at him. “I just want to go home.”
“Okay, why don’t I come stay with you Uncle Hutch?”
Hutch took a deep breath, “I just want to be alone.”
“I think you have been alone enough,” Starsky said.
“That is my decision not yours.” Hutch closed his eyes hoping they would go but when he open his eyes again after several hours sleep they were both still their. Starsky was asleep in the corner in a chair, Hannah sitting in the windowsill reading a magazine.
In the end Hannah had come to stay with him, Starsky bowed out some how realizing that his friend didn’t need him there. It had saddened Starsky to drop Hannah off at Hutch’s apartment with out going in. It had been Hannah’s idea, saying that perhaps Hutch just needed sometime. Starsky wondered how much time, how could he make it up to Hutch if the man wouldn’t even look at him. Starsky was learning a hard lesson of what quick words and actions could do.

“We will now hear from the witnesses starting with Officer Hannah Starsky.”
The courtroom doors and Hannah entered wearing her uniform her long hair coiled neatly on top of her head. She walked with purpose to the front of the room and took her seat in the witness box. It had incensed her to no end that the prosecutor was calling her as a witness for the state.
After being sworn in the prosecutor walked toward Hannah, “Please state you name for the court.”
“Officer Hannah Starsky,” she said trying to keep the irritation out of her voice.
“Officer Starsky can to you tell us what happened at the bank that day?” the lawyer went on.
Hannah went into great detail of all the events of the day from the time she and her partner got the call right up until she was shot. She then stopped.
“Go on Officer.”
Hannah took a deep breath and looked past the lawyer to Hutch and Ed sitting at the table, her dad was directly behind Hutch worry lined his handsome face. What words could she say? Hannah had thought that with Ed coming forward that Hutch would have been cleared and he wouldn’t be sitting in the court. As much as she loved Ed she loved Hutch more and he was going through so much.
The lawyer looked up at the Judge, “Sir would you please instruct the witness to answer the question?”
Judge Grant looked over at Hannah, “Please Officer Starsky answered the question.”
Hannah looked up at the Judge, “Sir may I say something?”
“You have been instructed to answer the question Officer Starsky if you do not you will be in contempt of court.”
Judge Grant looked down at the overzealous lawyer. “Last time I looked it was my court room and my call. Do I need to remind you this is only a hearing and not a trial we can be a bit informal. And I for one would like to hear what the young woman has to say.” He then looked at Hannah, “Go ahead.”
She nodded at the Judge then looked out over the courtroom that was filled with other officers then her gaze went once again to Hutch and her father. Hannah took another deep breath and began. “The only thing these men sitting here today have done wrong is care too much. I will admit I do not know Captain Templeton nor does he know me but he allowed Detective Hutchinson to enter with his Swat team because he was asked. Officer Desalvo has been my partner since the day I was sent out onto the streets I have learned much from him. Detective Hutchinson is like a second father to me and has also taught me much; in fact I owe my expert marksmanship to him. All these men know how to handle themselves, know the rules and know how to follow them. In Captain Templeton’s case he also knows how to bend them when it is necessary and every officer sitting here today has bent the rules at one time or another because it is necessary at times to get the job done. I can’t testify to what was said between Captain Templeton and Officer Hutchinson but I know that Officer Hutchinson had one thing on his mind…me. He wanted to be in that building to protect me. Yes I’m a trained officer but yet in his yes I’m still a girl, something every adult hangs onto on matter how old the children in their lives get.”
There were mummers from the audience and nodding of heads. Hannah looked over at Hutch and thought she saw a glimmer of a smile on his lips. “Detective Hutchinson and Officer Desalvo were trying to protect me and by some fluke I was shot but it was an accident. There was no wrongdoing, just a mistake plan and simple. I have asked my self over and over if those two men had not been there at day would I be sitting here? Personally I don’t think I would be, the gunman had me point blank there was little I could have done.”
Hannah looked up at the Judge. “That is all I plan on saying I will not testify against any of these men. If that means you have to throw me in jail then so be it but I will not be a party to this hearing any longer.” Hannah got up from the witness stand. She waited for the cuffs to be slapped on her and to be drug away to a jail cell knowing it would mostly likely be the end of her short police career but if this was what it was going to be like then she would be just as glad to get out now.
Judge Grant sat there mulling over Hannah’s words. Then he banged his gavel and announced, “This case is demised.”
The declaration left the prosecution stunned, he started to object but then thought better of it and went back to his desk to pack up his legal pads and pens and left the room.


                                                                                             Chapter 11


Starsky clapped Hutch on the back, “It’s over buddy it’s over.”
“Yeah it’s over,” Hutch said listlessly.
“Let’s go over to Huggy’s to tell him the news and to celebrate uh?” Starsky said jumping to his feet.
Hutch also got up and without turning to look at his friend said, “Naw you go without me.”
“B-but Hutch you are the reason we would be celebrating we can’t do it without you!” Starsky grabbed Hutch’s arm to keep him from walking away. “Hutch we need to talk.”
“I don’t see where we have anything to talk about.”
“I want to know we are okay.”
“Yeah we are okay why wouldn’t we be?” Hutch answered but his face and body language said something totally different.
Hannah came bouncing up to her two favorite men, “It’s over!”
“You did good Hannah,” Hutch praised he smiled briefly at her but it quickly faded. “Thank you.”
“You have nothing to thank me for Uncle Hutch,” Hannah said throwing her arms around his neck.
His arms came slowly around her, he buried his face in her hair as he hugged her tightly. He was going to miss her and for that matter Starsky too but he was already getting use to not having Starsky around. “Well I gotta get going.”
“Where? Daddy didn’t you tell Uncle Hutch we were going to Huggy’s?” Hannah asked looking at the two men.
“Yeah I told him, he doesn’t want to go.” Starsky said sadness in his eyes. He had ruined their friendship; he knew that Hutch no longer trusted him and he wasn’t even sure how to earn the trust back or if he even could.
“Just have a beer for me uh?” Hutch gave them a strained smile.
“No we won’t, you have to come with us,” Starsky insisted.
“Please Uncle Hutch?” Hannah pleaded.
Hutch looked at her sad face thinking that would have been the way she looked as a little girl begging for an ice cream or something. He sighed, “Alright but just for a little while.” Hannah linked her arm through his and then through her fathers as they left the courtroom.
There were many officers at Huggy’s when they arrived there they cheered as the trio entered the bar. There were handshakes and hugs as they made their way to one of the booths.
Starsky smiled at Hannah, “You are their hero ya know.”
Hannah blushed, “But I didn’t do anything, I just told the truth.”
Hutch sat wordlessly and watched the thong of people mill about the room. He didn’t feel like celebrating, he had lost too much. He glanced across the table to find Starsky watching him.
“Hutch we really need to talk,” Starsky said leaning over so that Hutch could hear him without having to yell.
“There is nothing left to talk about it’s all been said.” Hutch said.
“I want to make it up to you. I was distraught I took it out on you, I didn’t…”
“Mean it? Yes you did you meant every word of what you said. If Hannah hadn’t lived we wouldn’t be sitting here having this conversation I doubt if we would even be in the same room.” Hutch scooted out of the booth.
“Uncle Hutch?” Hannah called to him as she saw him walking toward the door. She had been talking to several of her fellow rookies.
“Bye Hannah,” Hutch hugged her. “I got to get going.”
Hannah watched him go then turned and marched to where Starsky was sitting, “What happened?”
Starsky looked as if he were close to tears, “I have lost him Hannah, I went too far this time and I have lost him.”
“So this is it? You aren’t going to fight for a life long friendship? You are just going to let him walk out of our lives just like that?”
“I don’t know what else to say. I have tried to apologize, he just won’t listen.” Starsky said mournfully.
“So you just keep trying and trying until you get through.”
“Hannah you don’t understand, I have lost Hutch’s trust I turned my back on him when he needed me the most. I don’t blame him for not accepting my apology.” Starsky looked up at his daughter. “Maybe you could talk to him for me.”
Hannah shook her head, “It has to come from you. You have to figure out a way to reach him.”

Hutch keyed open his apartment door and entered the darken living room. He rarely opened the blinds these days his beloved plants were feeling the lack of light, as many of them were becoming leggy stretching for what little light they could find. He dropped his keys on the coffee table and stood looking around the room for a few moments, then went to his bedroom where he already had several boxes packed. Hutch flipped on a lamp and dropped to the bed. He didn’t know where he was going or what he would do for a job but he did know that he couldn’t stay there. He had given up the idea of killing himself he didn’t want to leave Hannah with that kind of guilt, Starsky either and he knew that they would both blame themselves.
A knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts, slowly he got up and went to the door. “Who is it?” But there so no answer, he opened the door anyway for he was fairly sure who it was.
Starsky stood there, Hutch’s gun and badge in his hand. “I thought you might want these.” He handed them toward Hutch but Hutch only turned and walked away from the door leaving it open. Starsky took the open door as an invitation to come in. “Dobey was going to give them to you but I told him I would do it. I wanted to do it.”
Hutch didn’t turn to look at him just walked back to the bedroom. Starsky laid the gun and badge on the end table and followed Hutch. He was stunned to see the packed boxes. “You going somewhere?”
“Yeah,” came the short answer.
“Where?” Starsky asked he could feel himself began to panic. He couldn’t make it up to Hutch if he wasn’t there.
Hutch shrugged, “Don’t know.”
“Hutch,” Starsky said but when his friend didn’t answer or turn to look at him he grabbed Hutch by the arm and spun him around to face him. “Please don’t do this. We need you…I need you.”
Hutch looked at the floor he couldn’t or wouldn’t look Starsky in the eye, “Maybe I’ll be back.”
“This isn’t going to solve anything…running away.”
“I’m not running away I’m just leaving. There is nothing left for me.”
Starsky flopped down on the bed hopelessly. “What have I done?”
Hutch didn’t answer instead he grabbed a box and began tossing books in it.
“Hutch I was so upset, I have lost so much and the thought of losing Hannah just drove me crazy. So many emotions came rushing back, I struck out, you happened to be there.”
“It wasn’t like I was blameless.” Hutch dropped a couple of books in the box then sat down, the box between them.
“I know you would never purposely hurt Hannah. It was just Terry all over again. You know I might have well as shot Terry myself.”
“Don’t do that to yourself Starsk,” Hutch said sounding almost like his old self. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“Just like it was your fault with Hannah.”
“That was a bit different it was me.”
Starsky took a deep breath, “Hutch listen I really don’t know what else to say. I have apologized for my actions. I don’t want you to leave and I know Hannah doesn’t want you to either. We love you; you are part of our family. I want you to be Hannah’s Godfather.”
For the first time Hutch looked Starsky in the eye all he saw was love, the love that had been there before all this had happened. He allowed himself a small grin. “Don’t you think she is a bit old for that?”
“Maybe, but I want to make sure that she has someone to be there for her if anything should happen to me.”
“I would do that anyway, you know that.”
“I know.”
Hutch stared at the floor, there were so many emotions churning inside him. He and Starsky had struck out at each other many times in the past over different things, women, emotional distress, frustration but it had never harmed their friendship. He realized that his guilt over shooting Hannah only fueled his feelings of being cast out of Starsky’s life even if it had been for a moment.
Hutch looked over at his friend again and this time gave him a genuine smile. “Friends?”
Starsky, relief clearly evident on his face returned the smile, “Friends,” then he added, “For life and longer.”

…I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
It’s not easy to be me…