LAST CALL
BY TOOKI
~Chapter One~
Hutch moaned as the phone rang, he pulled his pillow over his head trying to block out the ringing but it didn’t drown out the incessant noise. He rolled over and looked at the clock it was nearly three. Hutch reached over picked up the phone and growled, “This had better be good.”
“Hutch.”
The moment Hutch heard Huggy’s voice he asked. “Starsky?”
“What else?” The barkeeper said, he sounded mildly annoyed. It wasn’t the first time that Starsky had been too drunk to drive home. Nor was it the second or third time, it had become a habit that both his partner and friend were starting to worry about.
“Let me get dressed,” Hutch said as he swung his legs out from under the covers. He sat on the edge of the bed for a few minutes allowing him self to fully come awake.
This had now been going on for two months, at least three times a week Huggy would call for him to come and get his partner. Hutch wasn’t sure what had set off Starsky’s drinking. Nothing had happened at work, they were both on an even keel with their perspective girl friends although Cindy was getting a little touchy about Starsky’s drinking. He had tried countless times to talk to his partner but Starsky would either brush it off with a joke or got angry.
At first the drinking was their usual beers on their off days or on weekends then Starsky started hitting it with a vengeance that Hutch couldn’t understand. The drinking was turning from beers to the hard stuff.
When Hutch arrived at the Pits Huggy unlocked the door to let the detective in. “He’s back there,” Huggy jerked his thumb toward the back of the bar. “Hey Hutch would you mind locking up. If I leave my lady up stairs alone one more night I’m going to be sleeping alone.”
“Sure Hug,” Hutch said as he started toward the booth where Starsky was slumped over the table.
“And Hutch.”
“Yeah.”
“Starsk has run up a rather large bar bill.” Huggy said as he mounted the stairs.
“Thanks Huggy,” Hutch sighed. Hutch slid into the booth in the seat across from his partner. “Hey Starsk ready to go home?” The only answer he got was a grunt. “Are you awake?”
Another grunt.
“Christ Starsky I can’t keep coming down here in the middle of the night to drag you home.” Hutch said as he got out of the booth and hoisted his partner to his feet.
Starsky looked at him through blurry eyes, “Hi ya Hutch,” he slurred.
“Let’s get you home buddy.” Hutch said half dragging half carrying his drunken friend.
“Need a drink.”
“Last call was an hour ago, bar is close,” Hutch said as he turned off the lights near the door. Once out side he leaned Starsky against the side of the building so he could lock the door like Huggy asked. Then he got Starsky to his car and inside with much effort.
“Where we goin’?”
“You my friend are going home to bed.” Hutch ran around and jumped behind the wheel, if he was lucky and Starsky corporate he could have himself back in bed in less than an hour and get a little more sleep before work. He wondered how Starsky was going to be able to work.
It felt like his head had just touched the pillow when the alarm had gone off. Hutch banged the alarm on the clock off and slung his arm over his eyes to shield the day light that was creeping in his bed room.
He was shower, dressed and was waiting out side when Starsky drove up. “So you made it.” Hutch said as he got in the passengers side.
“Why wouldn’t I?” Starsky said, he sounded a little drunk. He still had on the same clothes as the night before and he hadn’t shaved. His normally blue eyes were blood shot and sleepy looking.
Hutch leaned over and sniffed at his partner, “Did you shower this morning?”
“No time,” he answered as he started to pull away from the curb.
“Partner you can’t show up to work like this, Dobey will have a fit.” Hutch said and he didn’t particularly want to ride around with him all day. He smelled like stale beer and cigarette smoke. “Why don’t you come in and shower?
“Oh come on Hutch,” Starsky growled, “I’m not in the mood for this crap.”
Hutch sighed and said under his breath, “It’s your funeral.”
Dobey was already in a foul mood when the two detectives arrived at the station and the state Starsky was in was the last straw. “Are you sick Starsky?”
“No,” Starsky said flopping down in his desk chair. Hutch went immediately to get Starsky a cup of coffee.
“You look like hell.”
“Thank you Cap,” he said in a sarcastic voice. “You aren’t looking so hot yourself.”
Hutch sat the steaming cup of coffee in front of his partner and got in between him and their Captain. “Starsky just had a rough night last night, right buddy?”
Captain Dobey glared at the dark headed detective. “Starsky you are at your desk today. Hutchinson in my office.” Dobey turned on his heel and stormed into his office leaving the door open for Hutch.
Hutch cast a glance at Starsky wondering how he was going to explain his behavior then followed his captain.
He had barely gotten the door close when Dobey bellowed, “What the hell is wrong with Starsky. He has been acting odd for weeks and today he shows up looking and smelling like he slept in an alley.”
“Cap I...uh...I…” Hutch sat down in a chair in front of Dobey’s desk.
“Hutchinson,” Dobey’s voice softened and he leaned forward. “Is everything alright?”
“To be perfectly honest with you Cap I don’t know.” Hutch looked at Dobey. “I’m worried about Starsky.”
“As well you should be. If this doesn’t stop he is going to be out of a job.” Dobey said some of his angry seeping back into his voice. “I can’t have him out on the streets looking like that.”
“I can handle it by myself today.”
“You have been picking up the slack for your partner; it’s starting to wear on you Hutchinson.” Dobey was beginning to worry about both his detectives.
If you only knew, Hutch thought to himself. “I think he’s just going through a rough patch. We all have them.”
“Well see that he gets though this patch of his quickly, its affecting his work.” Dobey said. Hutch got up to leave, “Hutch.”
“Yeah Cap.”
“If you need anything…either of you, my door is always open.”
“Thanks Cap.”
Starsky was still at his desk but now he had his feet propped up and was sound asleep snoring softly. Hutch walked up and kicked the back of the chair. Starsky’s eyes popped open. “What?”
“What to you mean what?” Hutch said, “Are you trying to lose your job?”
“Oh come on Hutch, I have to listen to this crap from Dobey.” Starsky said sliding his feet to the floor. “You are supposed to be on my side.”
“I am on your side, which is why I didn’t tell Cap you were stinking drunk last night.” Hutch leaded up against the desk. “You have got to get it together buddy.”
Starsky got up, “I have had enough of this, I’m leaving.”
“Dobey said you were to stay at your desk today.”
“Dobey said, Dobey said,” Starsky mocked his partner. “Is that all you have to say.”
“Starsk,” Hutch grabbed Starsky’s jacket sleeve. Starsky wheeled around with a closed fist. The fist met Hutch’s cheek bone sending him sprawling in the chair that Starsky had just vacated.
“Why don’t you stop mothering me,” Starsky snapped as he left the squad room.
Ron Osborne rushed to Hutch’s side. “Are you ok Hutch?”
“Yeah, I’m okay,” Hutch said as he gingerly touched his face. “Hey don’t tell Dobey uh?
“Sure, sure,” Osborne said. Hutch jumped to his feet, he swayed and would have stumbled if Osborne hadn’t caught him. “I think you need to sit there for a few.”
“I have to go after Starsky.”
“You have got to be kidding me.” The officer said. “I think you need to let him cool down or sober up before you try to talk to him.”
Hutch gaze snapped to Osborne. “He isn’t drunk.”
“I was at the Pits last night Hutch. Starsky was plastered when I arrived at nine.” Osborne said. “I left at midnight and he was still downing them. He might not be drunk this morning but he sure isn’t feeling good.”
“Don’t tell anybody,” Hutch eyes pleaded with the officer.
“Hutch there is nothing to tell, everybody in the bar saw it. The talk is all over the station. I know you have blinders when it comes to your partner but you had better wake up or he is going to drag you down with him.”
Hutch sat silently for a few moments then looked up at Osborne. “Does Dobey know?”
The man shrugged, “I don’t see how he couldn’t, like I said everybody is talking.”
~Chapter Two~
Hutch sat outside Starsky’s apartment, unsure of what to do. The last thing he wanted was to get into another shouting match or get punched by his friend again. He also couldn’t just sit back and watch Starsky self destruct. Sighing Hutch pulled his keys from the ignition and opened the car door. His cheek still ached and was turning an angry shade of purple, he touched it gently.
The lies he had to make up for Starsky’s sudden disappearance and the shape of his face didn’t sit well with him. He wasn’t even sure if Dobey believed him but the captain didn’t question him further.
Slowly Hutch walked up and stood in front of Starsky’s door, he could hear music playing. He knocked on the door softly then a little louder, finally it opened and a very drunk Starsky stood there holding a bottle of rum swaying to the music.
“You are early.”
“I wasn’t invited,” Hutch said.
“Oh, I didn’t invite you?” Starsky made his way back to the couch.
Hutch stepped into the apartment, it was clear that Starsky had set up for a party. Chips and other munchies decorated various tables in the living room. Several cases of beer were stacked up next to the kitchen door and Hutch could smell food cooking.
“No you didn’t invite me.” There was no hurt in Hutch’s voice only pity.
“Well you are here now buddy,” Starsky slurred at him.
“You are drunk.”
“It’s a party!”
“Started a little early didn’t you, no guest have arrived yet.”
Starsky shrugged at him, “Nothing says I can’t start early. You want a beer?”
“No thanks.” Hutch said sitting down next to his friend. “When does this shindig start?”
“I told people seven.” Starsky said has he tipped the bottle he had in his hand and downed a mouth full.
Hutch looked at his watch, “Well then I’m not early they are late. It’s nearly eight-thirty.”
“Really?” Starsky squinted at his watch. “Screw’em we can party.”
“I think you have had enough partying my friend,” Hutch said grabbing the rum bottle.
“Get your own.” Starsky said snatching it away.
“Talk to me Starsk, what is going on?” Hutch asked concern filling his voice.
“Nothing is going on I’m having a good time,” He said holding the bottle high as if he were toasting. “Life is too short.”
“It’s going to get even shorter if you keep drinking like this.”
“Oh come on Blondie loosen up a little have some fun.”
“Starsky watching you get plastered is not fun.”
“Then get plastered with me.” Starsky got up and grabbed a plastic cup from the table. “Here.” He handed Hutch the cup, “Have a drink on me.” Starsky missed the cup and pour the alcohol in Hutch’s lap. “Oops okay have a drink on you!” he laughed wildly almost falling backward onto the coffee table.
Hutch leaped up as the cold liquid hit his legs then he grabbed Starsky to keep him from toppling into the table. “I think the party is over buddy. Why don’t you let me help you clean this mess up uh?”
Before Starsky could protest the smoke alarm in the kitchen began sounding. He dropped the bottle on the table and staggered toward the kitchen where smoke was pouring from around the oven door. Starsky opened the door, flames shot out as he bent to pull a flaming box from the oven bare handed.
Hutch intervened before Starsky could hurt himself. He grabbed the fire extinguisher from under the sink, pushed Starsky out of the way and doused the fire.
“Hey that was my pizza!” Starsky exclaimed.
“That is IT!” Hutch yelled as he turned off the stove and slammed the oven door. He shoved Starsky backward out of the kitchen and into the living room. “SIT!” he commanded as he shoved Starsky to the couch.
“HEY,” Starsky sputtered, “you are ruining my party.”
“The party is over Starsky. You almost caught your self and your apartment on fire.” Hutch sat down next to him. “What the hell is going on?”
Starsky cocked first one eye brow at Hutch then the other thinking he was being amusing but it wasn’t working, “Just trying to have some fun buddy.”
“This isn’t fun.” Hutch said putting his hand on Starsky leg. “There is something wrong, this is not like you. “Please let me help you.”
“Don’t need your help, don’t need anybody’s help,” Starsky mumbled. “Nobody can help.”
“Let me try buddy,” Hutch pleaded, “I can’t help if I don’t know what the problem is.”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.”
“It’s just over.”
“What is over?” Hutch asked as Starsky’s eyes were sliding closed. “Don’t fall asleep on me. What is over?”
“My life.” Starsky said opening his eyes half way.
“I don’t understand.”
“Told you.”
“Why do you think your life is over?” Hutch persisted.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Stay with me Starsk.”
“Tired…” Starsky whispered. “I’m just like my father…just like my father,”
“What about your father?” Hutch asked shaking Starsky’s arm trying to rouse him up.
“Poor, poor Gwen,” Starsky said in a barely audible voice.
Now they were getting somewhere, it was a girl that had sent him into this tail spin. But Hutch didn’t know a Gwen; maybe if he could find her and talk to her he could figure this all out. “Who’s Gwen?” Hutch asked. Starsky eyes went close again and he leaned heavily on Hutch. “Starsky who is Gwen?”
Before Starsky fell unconscious he whispered, “My sister.”
Hutch was jolted by his words. Sister? Starsky didn’t have a sister, at least not that he knew about and he thought he knew just about everything about his partner. With his head spinning, Hutch hefted Starsky into his arms and carried him to his bed room. Then after making sure he was comfortable Hutch set to the task of cleaning up his partners “party”. He wasn’t sure if Starsky had really invited anyone and they hadn’t shown or perhaps he had just thought he had asked people or maybe never meant too.
After making sure everything was in order Hutch headed home. He wasn’t sure he should leave Starsky but he figured that with the amount of alcohol he had consumed he would be out until morning.
Half way home Hutch changed directions and drove to the station instead. Maybe he could get some information on this sister, if there even was a sister.
Officer Kathy Parker was working the desk when Hutch entered the station. “Hey Kathy.”
“How’s it going?”
“Alright I guess,” Hutch answered. “I have a favor.”
“Anything for you, shoot.”
“I need you to look up a name for me, best bet New York.” Hutch said.
Kathy slid a pad of paper toward him. Hutch wrote down the name then slid it back to her. Kathy picked it up and read the name. “Gwen Starsky?” She asked. “Any relation to our boy?”
Hutch shrugged, “That is what I need you to see if you can find out.”
“It’s going to take me a couple of hours I’m afraid.” Kathy apologized, “Kind of backed up here.”
“That’s fine; I’ll be back in a few.” Hutch told her. His next stop was going to be Starsky girlfriend Cindy. Maybe he had told her something.
Hutch had to knock several times before he finally heard a voice from inside. “Who is it?”
“It’s Hutch Cindy can I talk to you?”
“Is Starsky with you?”
“No,” Hutch answered. He heard a chain come off the door and a dead bolt being turned.
Cindy opened the door just enough to allow Hutch to enter then she cast a wary eye outside before shutting it. “I suppose you are here to apologize for him?”
“No I needed to ask you a question.” Hutch said sitting down on the couch were she had motioned. It was when Cindy sat down across from him that Hutch got a good look at her. Cindy’s face looked much like his own. “Christ did Starsk do that to you?”
“If it had been anybody other than David I would have called the police. I’m still thinking of getting a restraining order against him.” Cindy said touching her bruised face. “Looks like you got some of the same.”
“What is going on with him?” Hutch asked her sorrow filling his eyes.
“Hutch I don’t know, he’s like a different person.” Cindy said pulling the robe she was wearing tighter to her body. It started just about two months ago. We were talking about going away for a weekend and discussing dates. He just suddenly freaked out and took off.”
“What has set him off?” Hutch said more to himself. Then he turned his attention back to Cindy. “Has Starsky said anything about having a sister?”
“Sister? No, I know he has a younger brother but he has never said anything about a sister.” Cindy looked at Hutch worriedly. “I’m scared of him Hutch, I hate to say that but apparently you have been at the other end of his wraith. All I said to him was that I thought he had enough to drink.”
“I’ll try to keep him away from you.” Hutch said. “I’m not seeing him much these days unless it’s to drag him home from Huggy’s.”
“Thanks Hutch,” Cindy said, “Next time I'm calling the police.”
~Chapter Three~
After checking back with Kathy at the station and coming up dry Hutch went home to his last resort. He dug his address book out of his desk, grabbed the phone and sat down on the couch. He flipped through the book until he came to the “S’s” near the bottom was Helen Starsky’s address and phone number. Reluctantly Hutch dialed the number. He hadn’t wanted to bring her in to this, he knew she worried enough about her son without him adding too it.
The phone rung a half a dozen times and Hutch was just about ready to hang up when there was a breathless, “Hello.”
“Mrs. Starsky?” Hutch asked. “This is Ken Hutchinson, your son’s partner.”
“Kenneth!” She exclaimed. “Please call me Helen. Is everything alright? It’s not David is it?”
He didn’t know how to tell Starsky’s mother that he had gone on a drinking binge, “Mrs. Sta…Helen I need to ask you something.” Hutch began. “I realize it’s probably none of my business but something is going on with Starsky and…”
“Just ask me.” Helen said.
“Does Starsky have a sister?”
There was a deep intake of breath on the other end and for a moment Hutch thought that she wasn’t going to answer him. “Y-yes, he did,” her voice sounded choked.
“I’m sorry,” Hutch said. “I have upset you.”
“No, no it’s alright,” Helen said. She had known that some day it was going to come. That the demon that chased Starsky as a boy and a young man would surface again.
“Do you mind telling me?” Hutch asked it was more than obvious that something terrible had happened by her reaction and how tore up Starsky was.
“She was killed,” Helen said haltingly.
“Why didn’t Starsk tell me?” Hutch said, “When?”
“I guess about thirty years ago now.” Helen said but she knew exactly how it had been since Gwen had died.
Gwen had been eighteen, ten years older than Starsky and Nick was just a baby. Starsky idolized his sister the sun rose and set with Gwen. On that faithful night Michael Starsky was taking his daughter and oldest son to the movies. At the last minute David had decided not to go, he wanted to stay at home and watch a baseball game.
It was nearly midnight when the call came, there had been an auto accident. Michael Starsky had been unscathed but Gwen had been killed instantly. David had been devastated at the news. He blamed himself for not being there.
“Thirty years,” Hutch echoed.
“Kenneth I didn’t think David was going to make it through that period of his life. He was in his mid teens before he stopped having nightmares.” Helen confided in him.
“He never told me about her.”
“I suppose he didn’t. It was something he didn’t want to think about, it just tore him up too badly.”
“So why now?” he asked Starsky’s mother.
“When did you say all this started with David?” Helen wanted to know.
“About two months, his girl friend Cindy said they were looking at dates to plan something and he just kind of lost it.”
“July 10th.” Helen said, “That was the day she died.
“But why now? Like you said it was thirty years ago.” Hutch asked.
“I don’t know he has blocked it all out.” She explained. “I never thought that was very healthy.”
“What he is doing now isn’t very healthy.” Hutch said still reluctant to tell Starsky’s mother that he had taken to drinking.
“He’s drinking isn’t he?”
Hutch was a little taken aback. “Yes he is, but how did you know?”
“That was how his father handled it.” Helen said the painful memories flooding back to her. “I thought we were going to lose Michael too. He almost drank himself to death.”
“If you want to come I’ll get you a ticket Helen.” Hutch offered.
“I couldn’t help David back then I don’t think I can help him now. Actually I think my showing up would only complicate matters Kenneth.” Helen said. “You are his best friend if anybody can help him through this you can.”
“I have been trying,” Hutch said not sure what else he could do.
“Be there when he hits bottom and he will. He is going to need somebody to pull him up.”
“You know I’ll do what ever I can,” Hutch promised.
“You are a good friend,” Helen sighed, “Keep me updated would you?”
“I hope the next call you get will be from your son.”
Exhausted from his conversation with Helen Starsky Hutch crawled into bed but sleep was a long time coming as his mind absorbed all the information he had been given.
It was early when Hutch awoke from his unease sleep; he wanted to get over to Starsky’s before he had time to start drinking. So armed with what Helen had told him the night before he drove to his friend’s house.
Hutch knocked on the apartment door it didn’t surprise him that Starsky didn’t answer. He let him self and looked around; the apartment was as he had left the night before, spotless.
Going to the bedroom door Hutch quietly pushed it open. Starsky was still sprawled on the bed fully clothed only his shoes were removed. Hutch went to the kitchen and made a pot of strong black coffee then called Dobey to tell him he wouldn’t be in.
Hutch was setting on the couch drinking coffee when Starsky stumbled from the bedroom. He looked awful, clothes rumpled; hair standing on end, blood shut eyes. Hutch jumped to his feet. “Hey pal how are you doing?”
“Hutch?” Starsky squinted at him, “What are you doing here?”
Ignoring the question Hutch went to the kitchen and poured Starsky a cup of the strong coffee he had made. “Here drink this.”
Starsky took a look at the hot liquid and turned up his nose. “I would rather have a beer.” He started toward the cases that were still stacked against the wall.
Hutch could have kicked himself for not removing them. “Hey Starsk I think it’s a little early for that. Come on have a little coffee. I’ll whip you up some eggs to go with it.”
Sighing Starsky accepted the cup, he wasn’t feeling his best and wasn’t up to a fight, “Okay, Okay,” Starsky growled. “But no food.” His stomach flipped over, just the mere thought of food made him want to retch.
Hutch went and opened the refrigerator anyway only to find nothing inside. He turned and looked at Starsky, “How long has it been since you have eaten?” His partner shrugged. “Listen why don’t you take that coffee and go take a nice hot shower. Get into some clean clothes and that will make you feel much better.
Starsky shrugged going back into the bedroom with out any fight. Hutch was rather surprised that his friend hadn’t tried battling with him; maybe he was ready to stop. After Starsky was out of ear shot Hutch called Huggy, “Hey Huggy its Hutch.”
“How ya doing Hutch, and how’s our boy?” Huggy asked his jovial mood restored since he hadn’t had to play nurse maid the night before.
“Not too good, I need a favor,” Hutch said hoping that Starsky hadn’t cashed in all their favors.
“Shoot,” Huggy said.
“Can you bring some food,” Hutch asked. “I’m here with him now and don’t dare leave him alone. By the time I would get back he would be drunk.”
“Sure thing,” Huggy answered.
Just as Hutch was hanging up the phone he heard a loud crash from the bed room. He dashed in to find Starsky sitting on the floor and the middle drawer of his dress pulled completely out. Clothes were strewn all over the floor. Crouching down Hutch asked, “Are you okay buddy?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Hutch could tell Starsky was lying to him. “Just looking for something to wear.”
“What do you have behind your back?”
“N-nothing.”
Hutch grabbed Starsky in a bear hug trying to wrestle his hands forward. He was alarmed at how thin his friend had grown; he could feel his ribs though the cotton shirt he had on. Hearing something drop Hutch turned his partner loose they both dived for the bottle that was rolling across the floor. “You had this in your drawer?” Hutch said snatching the bottle moments before Starsky could reach it.
“So what,” Starsky snapped.
“Starsky you are drinking your self death.”
“It’s my life.”
“And what about those of us you leave behind.”
“You would all be better off with out me.” Starsky said as he slid backward so he could rest his pounding head on the edge of the bed. He needed a drink and he needed it now.
“Get up!” Hutch barked at him as he got to his own feet. “You are going to take a long hot shower and when you are finished we are going to have talk.”
“Hutch just leave me alone.” Starsky almost whined.
“Get up,” Hutch repeated leaning down and grabbing Starsky by his shirt. He pulled his partner to his feet and propelled him to the bathroom. Again Hutch was horrified at how much weight he had lost. He pushed Starsky down on the toilet as he readied the temperature of the water in the shower. “Are you going to make me undress you? I will do it and you know it.”
“FINE!” Starsky stormed at his partner. “Could I have a little privacy?”
“In just a second,” Hutch said as he opened every drawer and looked in anything that could contain a liquor bottle, finding nothing he handed Starsky as towel, “You have got twenty minutes then I’m coming in after you.”
Starsky glared at but accepted the towel. Hutch stood there watching as he began unbuttoning his shirt. “Do you mind?”
“I’ll be right out side the door,” Hutch warned.
While Starsky showered, Hutch went on a scavenger hunt for any more bottles that might have been hidden but he didn’t find any. Taking the bottle from the bedroom along with the others in the kitchen Hutch began to methodically dump them down the sink. Most of the bottles had been rum then the there were the cases of beer.
Hutch checked to make sure Starsky was in the bath room then he carried the beer out to his car and stashed it in his truck. He came back in just as Starsky stepped out of the bed room dressed. He looked much better and had even had shaved.
“You happy now?” Starsky asked.
Hutch grinned at him and nodded, “Don’t you feel better?”
“If I had a drink, then I would feel better,”
“Starsky you are turning into an alcoholic,” Hutch said going to his friend. “Come on lets get you another cup of coffee. Huggy is bringing some food for you.”
“What are you two going to do kidnap me and do intervention?” Starsky asked as he followed Hutch to the kitchen.
“Not a bad idea partner, I hope it doesn’t come to that.” Hutch said there was no smile or any humor in his voice. He was not going to lose Starsky.
~Chapter Four~
“Believe what you want to, believe what you can
‘cause all I ever really learned from this life of mine…
Love’s the only thing worth a damn.
So take it or leave it, deny or receive it,
‘cause maybe it was never really ours to understand”
-Joshua Kadison
Starsky was on his fourth cup of coffee when the there was a knock on the door. Hutch jumped up to open it, Huggy stood there with two plastic containers full of food. “I had Angie whip you guys up something,” Huggy grinned as he handed the containers to Hutch.
“Thanks Huggy,”
“Hey Starsk,” Huggy said as he caught sight of the man sitting sipping his coffee. He was taken aback at the condition Starsky was in. There were dark circles under his eyes and even though he was shaved and showered he had a haggard look about him.
Starsky waved at him but didn’t speak.
“I’m worried,” Hutch whispered to Huggy.
“He’s lookin’ bad.”
Hutch nodded in agreement. “Thanks Huggy.”
“You need anything else just call.”
After Huggy left Hutch handed Starsky one of the Styrofoam boxes, he sniffed at it, “Smells pretty good.”
Starsky had to admit that it did smell good; he hadn’t realized how hungry he really was. Hutch went into the kitchen coming back with the coffee pot and a couple of forks. Starsky grabbed the fork and began shoveling eggs in his mouth. There were also several strips of bacon, sausage and toast. The moment the food hit his stomach he knew it was coming back up. Starsky tossed the box on the table and ran for the bathroom.
Hutch was up instantly, he found Starsky in the bathroom on his knees throwing up everything he had eaten. Hutch got a washcloth, ran cold water on it and press it do his partners forehead.
When Starsky was finished he was pale and shaking, he took the washcloth that Hutch offered him and rubbed it over his face. “I need a drink.”
“No you don’t,” Hutch said, “You just need to slow down with the grub.”
Starsky looked up at Hutch with pleading eyes, “Come on Hutch.”
Ignoring his request Hutch helped Starsky to his feet and back into the living room. “Eat, slowly this time.”
Resigned to the fact that Hutch was not going to let him drink Starsky picked up the box again and carefully put a fork full of eggs in his mouth. He was almost afraid to swallow for fear they would come back up. But this time the food stayed down. He managed all of the eggs, a slice of bacon and a toast triangle.
“How about some more coffee?” Hutch asked as he finished up his breakfast and cleared the containers away.
“I’m about to burst,” Starsky said knowing that he couldn’t stomach one more cup of coffee.
“Feeling better?”
“Sure,” Starsky answered noncommittally. He still felt like crap, some scrambled eggs, bacon and gallons of coffee wouldn’t cure what ailed him only the booze seemed to do the job.
Hutch sat on the edge of the couch close to Starsky who was sprawled out in a chair. “I know about Gwen.”
At first there was no reaction from Starsky then he said in an almost deadly tone, “How do you know about Gwen?”
“You told me last night.”
“I was drunk last night.”
“I called your mom when I went home.”
Starsky leaped to his feet, “YOU DID WHAT?”
“I had no choice buddy.” Hutch said also getting to his feet.
“It’s none of your business and you had no right to call my mother.” Starsky shouted in Hutch face. “No right!”
“Starsk calm down.”
“Get out,” Starsky yelled at him. “Just get out.”
“You need to talk about this.”
“I don’t need to talk about anything,” Starsky’s face was turning red with rage. “I said to get out.” He pushed Hutch toward the door.
“I’m not leaving.”
“Oh yes you are if I have to bodily throw you out.” Starsky said shoving him again. “Get the hell out Hutch before I do something we will both regret.”
By the look in his partners eyes Hutch knew he wasn’t kidding. Starsky had him backed up against the door. Starsky reached around him and opened the door. “Come on Starsk.”
“Get out!”
Hutch stepped out side but put his hand on the door to prevent Starsky from closing it. “Starsky talk to me please.”
Without answering Starsky placed the palms of both of his hands on Hutch’s chest and shoved him backward. Hutch stumbled and sat down with a loud plop on the concrete step. Starsky slammed the door and locked it.
Hutch sat there for a moment, he was in more shock than pain. Gradually he got up; his tail bone ached from the sudden jolt. He cursed himself for bringing Gwen up so soon; he should have waited until Starsky was a little better. But Hutch realized that Starsky would never get better until he faced his demons.
Hutch had no alternative but to go home, he had tried banging on Starsky’s door until a neighbor had threaten to call the police. So he went home and nursed his bruised tailbone.
It was nearly three a.m. when the phone rang. Hutch sighed and reached for it on the first ring. He hadn’t been able to sleep; Starsky’s angry face appeared every time he closed his eyes.
“Hutch, it’s Huggy.” The bar keeper didn’t sound annoyed this time he sounded angry.
“How drunk is he?” Hutch asked.
“Very and on top of it he is mad. Starsky has broken I don’t know many glasses and slapped my best waitress.” Huggy said. “If you don’t keep him away from my place I’m calling the cops.”
“I’m on my way Hug.”
“Hey man I’m really sorry.”
When Hutch arrived at the Pits the bar was empty except for the waitresses cleaning up broken class and Huggy tending Maria. She had a knot rising on her cheek where Starsky had slapped her. Hutch looked at her face, “I’m really sorry Maria, Starsky isn’t him self.”
“You can say that again,” she said taking the ice from Huggy and applying it to her face.
“Where is he?” Hutch asked.
“Same place as always,” Huggy said pointing to the back booth.
Starsky was lying in the seat his arm slung across his eyes, he was breathing deeply so Hutch knew that he was either passed out or asleep. Hutch kicked his feet roughly. “Get up!”
“What?” Starsky opened his eyes a slit and looked up at his partner.
“Get up, you have worn you welcome out here.” Hutch said as he leaned over and grabbed Starsky by the front of his shirt and pulled him into a sitting position. “You go do your drinking some where else from now on. You aren’t tearing up Huggy’s place anymore or abusing his waitresses.”
“I’m not abusing anybody,” Starsky slurred as he tried to get to his feet but his knees buckled under him. Hutch caught him before he hit the floor.
“What to you call that?” Hutch asked pointing across the room to Maria who was still holding the ice to her face.
“What happened to her?” He asked.
“You happened to her Starsk,” Hutch snapped at him, “What did she serve your beer too slow.”
“I didn’t do that.”
Hutch felt like crying, Starsky had no idea how much he was hurting himself and those around him. “Yes you did.”
“Naaaaw.” His eyes rolled in the back of his head.
Hutch tightened his grip on this partner, he knew from experience that Starsky was about ready to pass out. “Come on buddy let’s get you home.”
Once again the same scene played out Hutch dragged his drunk partner home, and put him to bed. He cleaned up the apartment, it was littered with empty beer bottles and Starsky had taken a trip to the liquor store as there were several bottles of rum sitting on the counter in the kitchen. Hutch dumped them down the drain again.
He sat down on the couch and put his head in his hands. Something had to be done. Starsky had joked about intervention but maybe that was the only way. Exhausted Hutch decided he would stretch out on the couch for a few minutes before he drove home.
Hutch awoke with a jerk, daylight filled the room, he looked at his watch it was nearly eight in the morning. He sat up rubbing his eyes as he looked around the room. He noticed the front door was standing open, he was sure that he had closed it when they had come in last night. Hutch jumped to his feet and ran to Starsky’s bed room. The bed was rumpled and Starsky was gone. He quickly checked the bathroom then the kitchen, no Starsky.
He ran out side and looked up and down the street then he noticed that his car was gone. Hutch felt his pockets for his car keys, they were gone. Hutch closed his eyes hoping to wish the nightmare away.
“Yeah, yeah,” Huggy yelled as he stumbled down the stairs. “I’m coming keep your shirt on.” Huggy yanked the front door to the bar open. Starsky shoved his way inside.
Huggy looked out side expecting to see Hutch, his car was there but not the other detective. “Where’s your blond half.”
“Who cares,” Starsky said. “Where are my keys man?”
“Why don’t you let me call Hutch for you uh?
“Give me MY keys.” Starsky said going behind the bar. “I know they are here some place. I’m not driving that hunk of junk around all day.”
“You don’t need to be driving at all.” Huggy came around the bar.
Starsky was trying to open the cash register as he had seen Huggy put people’s car keys in the back of it. He poked several buttons. “Open it and give me my keys.
Instead of getting Starsky his key’s Huggy picked up the phone and started dialing Hutch’s number. He didn’t even see Starsky’s fist coming at him.
~Chapter Five~
Hutch found Huggy sprawled on the floor behind the bar, the bar keeper was just coming to as Hutch bent over him. “Huggy are you okay?”
“Yeah I think so,” Huggy wiped blood from his lip.
“Starsky?”
“He came in looking for his keys Hutch,” Huggy explained as Hutch helped him to his feet. “I tried to stop him.”
Hutch picked up his keys from the bar, “I guess Starsky found his.” He said holding up the keys.
“He is out of control my friend,” Huggy said as he put some ice in a dish cloth and pressed it to his wounded face. “I just can’t have him in here anymore. What are you doing to do Hutch?”
“I don’t know I just don’t know.”
Hutch left the bar and headed to the station to his surprise Starsky was at his desk when he entered the squad room. “What are you doing here?”
“I have a job remember?” Starsky said coldly.
“You aren’t in any shape to do your job.”
“What is that suppose to mean?”
“Starsk you are drunk.”
“I am not I had a couple of beers this morning when I got up, I am not drunk.”
“You can’t go out on the streets like this,” Hutch said trying to reason with his partner.
“Hey if you don’t want to be my partner anymore fine.” Starsky got up from his chair. “I’ll ask Dobey to assign me with somebody else.”
“Nobody is going to work with you.” Hutch said. The news of Starsky’s drunkenness had spread like wild fire through the whole station. He had been witnessed by several fellow officers at the Pits fallen down drunk.
“What I do on my own time is my own business.” Starsky snapped.
“But this isn’t your own time, you are at work and if you aren’t one hundred percent somebody can die…namely me.”
“For God sakes Hutch, like I would let anything happen to you.” Starsky looked slightly wounded.
“No I don’t think you would intentionally let anything happen to me but Starsky you aren’t always thinking clearly.” Hutch looked at him. “Like Huggy this morning.”
“What about Huggy.”
“Starsky you beat him up to get your car keys don’t you remember?”
Starsky shook his head
“And Cindy, she is thinking of getting a restraining order against you.”
“What?” Starsky looked at Hutch confused.
“You have no idea what the hell you are doing when you drink do you?” Hutch asked. “Where do you think I got this black eye?”
For the first time Starsky noticed Hutch’s discolored face. “I did that to you?” His face fell. “Hutch I…I…”
“Starsk it’s okay.” Hutch said as he put his arm around his partner’s shoulders. “But you have got to talk to me or to somebody else before you destroy yourself. You can’t let what happen thirty years ago ruin your life.”
“What do you know about anything?” Starsky erupted angrily.
“Why don’t you let me take you home?”
“Because I don’t want to go home.”
“We can talk.”
“I don’t want to talk,” Starsky said, “I just want to forget.” He jerked away from Hutch
“Ok, then let’s go have lunch. I’ll spring for your favorite taco place. What do you say?”
Starsky’s eyes grew hard and cold, “All I want is for you to leave me alone.” He slammed the desk chair into the desk so hard the noise made everyone in the room jump. He stormed out of the squad room leaving Hutch to stare after him.
Dobey’s office door opened. “Hutchinson in my office.”
Sighing Hutch gave the door a sorrowful look then followed his captain in to his office. “Cap…”
“Save it Hutchinson.” Dobey interrupted. “I am putting Starsky on an opened ended administrative leave, you have a week off. Get Starsky’s head straight. If this would have been anybody else they would have been gone. After this it’s out of my hands, Starsky will be fired.”
Starsky climbed in his car and laid his head on the steering wheel. He knew the terrible things he was doing to the people he loved. He also knew his life was falling apart he could feel it but there wasn’t anything he could do to stop it. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to stop it. All those feelings from thirty years ago had come back. He felt like that eight year old boy that had just lost his sister all over again. He started the car and headed toward the Pits, he needed a drink.
When he entered the bar Maria’s face almost went white and she ran into the back room. “Huggy, he’s back.”
“Who?”
“Starsky,” She whispered.
“I’ll take care of it,” He promised. Starsky was sitting at the end of the bar. Huggy walked to stand in front of Starsky being careful to stay out of reach. “What are ya doin’ man?”
“Just wanted a drink Hug,” Starsky said laying a five on the bar.
“Sorry Starsky you aren’t welcome here anymore.”
“Say what?”
“You heard me, taking your drinking some place else.”
Starsky stared at Huggy incredulously. “You are saying you won’t serve me.”
“That’s what I’m saying,” Huggy said. “Come on man I don’t want any trouble.”
Starsky got up, tipping the bar stool over as he stood. “Fine.”
Huggy picked up the phone and started to dial Hutch’s number at the station then changing his mind put the receiver down. There was nothing anybody could do for Starsky until he wanted to be helped.
Cindy jumped; the banging on her door caught her off guard. She had been on the jumpy side ever since her encounter with Starsky. “Who is it?”
“Starsky.”
“G-go away.”
“Awww come on Cindy let me in.” Starsky pleaded.
“NO, if you don’t leave I’m calling the police and I don’t mean a phone call to Hutch.” She warned.
Starsky’s face fell, “Hey I’m sorry.”
“You are out of sorry’s Dave, just go I really don’t want to call the cops.” Cindy had already picked up the phone just in case he tried to break in.
“I’m going Cindy.” Starsky walked out and got into his car. He didn’t have any place to go. Nobody wanted anything to do with him. He closed his eyes and rested his head on the back of the seat. Gwen’s face flashed before him. She was smiling, her long dark hair cascading down her back and her blue eyes were sparkling.
“NO!” Starsky said his eyes popping open; he pounded on the steering wheel until his palms started to bruise. “How could you leave me Gwen?” The tears started pouring down his face. “It should have been me it should have been me!” he shouted. “I have nobody left Gwen what am I going to do?”
Then he thought of Hutch, he was always there for him no matter what. Starsky wondered if after all of this if Hutch would still be there. Starsky started his car and headed for the only place he felt safe.
“Are you sure?” Hutch said into the phone. “Thanks Huggy.”
He was running out of people to call, he had a time line of where Starsky had been until about two that afternoon then it was as if he dropped off the face of the earth. He had called everybody he could think of, even Cindy who was still shook up from Starsky being at her door. Hutch had checked Starsky’s apartment and several bars that they frequented but nothing.
Finally exhausted Hutch gave up and after swinging by Starsky’s place one last time he headed home. Hutch was surprised to find Starsky’s Torino parked in front of his place. He checked inside but it was empty, Hutch climbed the stairs two at a time and gently opened his front door. At first he didn’t see his partner then he noticed him sprawled on his couch. Hutch wasn’t sure if he was passed out or just asleep.
Hutch leaned over the back of the couch and touched Starsky’s shoulder. “Hey Starsk,” he said softly not wanting to startle him.
Starsky’s eyes flew up, “Hutch?”
“Yeah it’s me.” Hutch said, “What are you doing here?”
“I ain’t got no where else to go,” Starsky said as his eyes welled up with tears. Hutch came round the couch and sat down next to his friend. “Hutch I need help.”
~Chapter Six~
For the first time in days Starsky was sober, he knew that Hutch had beer in his refrigerator but he had little desire for it, he had finally hit his proverbial bottom. He wasn’t sure how long he had been asleep when Hutch had awaked him.
“You know I’ll do what ever I can,” Hutch said drawing Starsky into his arms comforting him like a child.
“I’m sorry Hutch.”
“I know.”
Starsky clung to his friend as if he were drowning, fearing that if he let go he would never get his life back. “G-Gwen, she was my sister, my best friend, she was everything to me. When she died…” Starsky took a deep breath. “It should have been me.”
Hutch shook his head, “No, no if it had meant to have been you then it would have been.”
“You don’t understand Hutch; it really should have been me. I was the one that was supposed to be with my dad and I would have been if I hadn’t been mad at Gwen. She died thinking I was angry with her.
“Come on Davy,” Gwen pleaded with her little brother. “I’ll stay at home.”
“No, it’s too late now,” Little David Starsky whined at his sister. “It was supposed to be my night out with dad and you had to go and ruin it.”
“I’m sorry Davy; I’ll tell dad that I have something I forgot to do uh? Gwen said coming into the room he shared with nine month old Nicky.”
“Forget it; I don’t want to go now.” Davy said.
“But you have been looking forward to going to this movie all week.” Gwen said moving to ruffle his curly dark hair but Davy was too quick for her.
“Exactly,” Davy made a face at her. “Me and dad.”
“I really didn’t think you would mind.”
“You could’ve asked.”
Sighing Gwen tried to appease her brother. “I’ll buy you extra popcorn.”
“I never get to go out with just dad, it’s not fair.”
“I know I should have realized and said no when he asked me to go with you.” Gwen said, “I guess he was trying to give mom a little break.”
“Is Nicky goin’ too?” Davy asked but he knew better Nicky was just a baby.
“No silly but he will be in bed soon and ma can spend some time doing something she wants to do.”
“I’m staying here you go with dad.” Davy said stubbornly.
“You are going to miss a great movie.”
Davy shrugged his skinny kid shoulders and turned his back on his sister.
“I’ll just stay at home.”
“And have dad mad at us? No thanks I can get away with staying home but he will want to know why his princess doesn’t want to go with him.
Gwen blanched at his words. She knew that her brother was jealous of her but she also knew that he loved her. “Davy I’m really sorry. I’ll get dad to do something with just you okay? I promise.”
“What ever.”
“I’ll bring you something from the theater.”
“What ever.”
The next thing Davy knew his mother was shaking him awake. She had taken Nicky to the neighbor next door and she had called a cab to take them to the hospital. “Come on Davy get up.”
Rubbing the sleep from his eyes Davy stumbled out of bed. “W-what’s wrong mama?”
“Just get dressed.”
He could see the panic in her eyes. He quickly pulled his jeans on and a t-shirt over his head. As he was stuffing his feet in his sneakers she call that the cab was there.
“Where we going?’ Davy asked as the cab sped into the darkness.
“There’s been an accident.” That was all she would say.
Davy sat in the waiting room alone; his mother was consulting with doctors. When she finally appeared in the waiting room, her face was puffy from crying but her eyes were dry. “Davy,” She began as she sat down on the couch next to him. “Gwen and your father were in a car wreck on the way back from the theater. Your father will be fine and we can take him home tonight but Gwen…” Her voice broke and tears sprung to her eyes, she hugged her son to her tightly. “Gwen she died, the car that broad sided them hit her door.”
Davy stared at his mother, that night the light went out of his world. He refused to go to his sister’s funeral, he wouldn’t speak her name and took all the photos he had of her and put them in a box.
Hutch listened until Starsky couldn’t go on anymore. Then they just sat on the couch together neither one of them talking, both of them lost in their own thoughts.
Finally Hutch said softly. “It wasn’t your fault you know. It still would have happened whether you were there or not.”
“I know.” Starsky said. “You know you are the only person I have told all that too. Ma doesn’t know not even Nicky.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“What set all this off, why now thirty years later?” Hutch held his breath unsure of how Starsky was going to react to the question.
“It was when Cindy and were planning on going away for the weekend. She said something about July 10th. It just hit me like a ton of bricks I guess. That was the day that Gwen died, the day my world stopped. Sure I was jealous of her, my parents doted on her. It had taken ma a long time to get pregnant, don’t know why. Then it was another eight years before I arrived. But Nicky well he just bounced right on in, you know Nick.”
“I was probably closer to Gwen than I was to ma, when she was younger she treated me like her doll than as I got older she was my best friend, she took me everywhere with her. Even on dates, and if she had a date that wasn’t interesting in having me along she dropped him like a hot potato, said that he wasn’t her type.”
“She sounded like a wonderful sister.”
Starsky nodded, “When she died I just closed off, I guess I thought that if I did that it wouldn’t be real or maybe I was afraid I would lose somebody else.”
“Thirty years is a long time to hold something like that in partner.” Hutch said.
“I guess it was bound to come out someday.”
“Trying to drink your self to death is no way to handle it.” Hutch looked at Starsky. He remembered that Helen had said something about Starsky’s dad taking to the bottle.
“That was dad’s answer, but he didn’t have a friend like you to bring him back from the brink. He kept drinking until he was an alcoholic. Ma tried everything, poor woman had her hands full between Dad’s drinking and me. She didn’t know what to do.”
“Starsk I wish you would have told me all this a long time ago, you didn’t have to go through this alone.”
“I know it was just too painful, I was so use to keeping it in side I just didn’t know how to tell you.” Starsky admitted his eyes were getting heavy.
“Well you have told me know,” Hutch said, “I’ll help you get though this.” When Starsky didn’t reply Hutch looked over at him. Starsky was sound asleep, Hutch got up quietly and pulled Starsky’s legs down so that he was laying on the couch then he covered him up with a blanket. “Sleep tight partner.”
Starsky stood on the road clutching a bouquet of flowers he looked across the grass at the field of grave stones that cropped out of the ground. Hutch leaned on the rental car watching his friends back wondering what he was thinking. It had been two weeks since Starsky had taken a drink.
After taking several steps forward Starsky stopped, he turned around and went back to the car. He grabbed Hutch’s hand, “I want you to come and meet Gwen.”
Hutch smiled at Starsky, he knew how much it had taken for him to come here, and how hard he was working to get his life back. Hutch nodded and followed Starsky across the grass.
THE END