ROSIE
                                                                                              BY
                                                                                                TOOKI
​

                                                                                   ~CHAPTER ONE~


Hutch was on his way to Starsky’s apartment, both he and Hannah had been worried about him for weeks now. He had grown more despondent over the past year. After finding out that his brother Nick had leukemia then him disappearing with out a word, Starsky had worried himself almost to the point of being sick.
Hannah called Hutch she had tried for the last several hours to get her father on the phone but it was busy. She would have gone herself but she wouldn’t be off duty until after six. Hannah knew that they were off that day and had taken the chance that Hutch would be at home.
Hutch knocked on the door of Starsky’s apartment; he knew his partner was home since his bright red Tornio was sitting out front. He pounded on the door a few more times then called out, “Starsk it’s me.” Still there was no answer. “Come on Starsky open up or I’m going to knock this door down.” Sighing Hutch pulled out his key ring and fish through the keys until he found the one to his partner’s apartment.
The sight that greeted him struck him to his very core, Starsky was sitting on the floor, his knees drawn up, his head on his knees and Hutch could tell he was sobbing by the way his shoulders were shaking. The phone lay off the hook next to him.
Hutch was on the floor at his side instantly, “Starsky what’s wrong?” He knew it couldn’t be Hannah. “Come on partner talk to me.”
Starsky looked up at him with stricken eyes, tears were spilling down his cheeks. “It’s Nick,” he said inaudibly.
“What?” Hutch asked leaning closer trying to catch what he was saying.
“Nick…h-he…”
Suddenly he knew what Starsky was trying to tell him. “Nick’s dead?”
Starsky nodded as more tears ran down his face. “Ma called.”
Hutch pulled Starsky into his arms. “I’m sorry buddy, I’m so sorry.”
Starsky wrapped his arms around Hutch and sobbed, they sat that way for a long time. Finally Starsky could cry no more and he looked up at Hutch with red-rimmed eyes. “I’m going to have to go to New York.”
Hutch nodded, “I’ll go with you if you want.”
“Thanks,” Starsky said thankful that Hutch had made the offer and he didn’t have to ask. “I want Hannah to come too. I think it’s about time she met her grandmother.”

~New York~
Starsky wondered when his mother had gotten so old, he hardly recognized her as she opened the door to her flat. Helen Starsky who use to be as tall as Starsky now walked stooped over a bit, her hair was totally gray but she still had the same spark in her eyes that Starsky remember when he was a child. It had been that spark that had held the family together when their father had died. Starsky entered the apartment flanked by Hannah and Hutch.
Helen knew Hutch but eyed the young woman they had with them. She was much too young to be a girl friend or at least she hoped so. She showed the trio into her sitting room, the curtains let in a filtered light which gave the room an almost museum like quality. The furniture was age worn but well care for, many framed photos adorned the walls and sat on the tables in the room.
Hannah saw one of two little boys; with out thinking she picked it up and stared at the older of the two knowing it must be her father. She really knew very little about him and was drinking in all she could.
Helen came over and pointed at the photo. “My Davy and Nicky,” she said softly. Then she looked up at her living son. “I’m glad you are here.”
Starsky smiled briefly at her then said. “Ma you know Ken, but I want to introduce you to Hannah.”
Hannah smiled at her grandmother whom she wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around and hug. “Hello Mrs. Starsky.”
“Hannah,” the older woman smiled at her then threw a questioning look at her son.
“Ma, Hannah is my daughter.”
Helen stood there for a moment digesting the information. At first Starsky thought that she hadn’t heard him and he was about to repeat himself when she said. “I have a granddaughter?”
“Ma I’m sorry….”
Helen waved her hand in his direction then went to stand in front of Hannah who was almost a head taller than she. She started at the young woman as if she were taking inventory, there was no denying that the woman before her was indeed a Starsky she could see it in her eyes, the way she held her head and stood. Slowly Helen held out her arms to Hannah allowing the young woman her first hug from a grandmother she thought she would never get to meet.
“Grandma,” Hannah said wrapping her arms around the woman holding onto her tightly. There were tears standing in both their eyes, even the two detectives were getting misty just watching them.
When Helen finally released her granddaughter she took her by the hand pulling her toward the kitchen. “We have lots of catching up to do. Where is your mother child?”
Hannah glanced over her shoulder at Starsky who just shrugged. There were no secrets now, Helen Starsky was known for getting at the truth.

By funeral time the next day Starsky had gotten all the details from his mother about where Nick had been for the last year. He had only come home to die in his final weeks making his mother promise not to contact his older brother until he was gone. This information hurt Starsky to the core since he had felt that at their last meeting they had made progress in their relationship.
Nick had ended up settling in the Kansas City area where he did eventually seek medical help but was given the same diagnoses that the LA doctor had given him. All he could do was wait to die and get medication so that it wasn’t unbearable.
The funeral was a large affair mostly attended by his mother’s friends, Starsky thought he recognized a few childhood friends and there were several unsavory characters that hung in the back ground for which Starsky was thankful. The news had shocked everyone, since Nick’s illness hadn’t been known. Many hankies were pulled from old women’s purses to dab their eyes. Starsky was sure that was grief for his mother and not Nick as he had been a feisty unruly child who had gotten into more trouble with the neighbors than most of the kids on the street.
Once it was all over, the mourners returned to the Starsky household where there was enough food set up to feed a small army. The food had started arriving shortly after the trio from Los Angeles and didn’t stop until they had left for the cemetery the next day. Even as they returned prepared dishes were sitting on the steps up to the flat. They collected the covered dishes as they entered the apartment.
It was getting close to dark by the time the last person left, Hannah was milling round the rooms picking up empty plates and cups. Her grandmother was in the kitchen up to her elbows in suds cleaning up the serving dishes people had left. She seemed to know just which dish belong to which person. Hutch and Starsky were sitting on the front steps of his mother’s apartment, his home when he was a child. If Hutch hadn’t come with him he didn’t know if he could have gotten through this even with Hannah at his side.
“So what now?” Hutch asked looking up trying to make out the stars in the night sky but the brightness of the city made them hard to see.
Starsky rubbed his hands over his face, and then took a deep breath. “I’m going to ask ma to come home with me. I know it would mean moving to a bigger place but I can’t leave her here by herself.”
Hutch breathed a sigh of relief for a moment he though that Starsky was going to say that he was moving back to New York. “About time you move out of that dump anyway.” Hutch teased trying to lighten the tension of the day.
Starsky grinned at him for the first time in days. He shook his head. “I couldn’t do that California is my home now. I could never leave you and Hannah behind and I would never ask Hannah to move here she loves it there.”
“So when are going to talk to her about it?”
Starsky shrugged, “Tonight I guess, we got to leave in the morning.”
“If you want to be alone I’ll take Hannah out and show her the town.” Hutch offered.
“And who is going to show you around?” Starsky laughed.
“I think we can manage.”

After Hannah and Hutch left Starsky found his mother still in the kitchen washing dishes. “Haven’t people ever heard of disposable dishes?” Starsky wanted to know.
“Oh Davy,” Helen said. “Disposable is so impersonal.”
“And having you stand here doing dishes all night long is personal?”
“Gives me something to do, keeps my mind off things.”
Starsky went up behind her and took a soapy dish from her wet hands. Then he handed her a towel, “Come sit down Ma I want to talk to you a minute.”
Helen sighed glad to have a reason to sit down; it had been a long emotional day for her. “Okay so talk. What’s on your mind Davy?”
He didn’t have time to work up to his question they would be leaving New York in just a little over twelve hours. “Ma I want you to come home with me.”
“I don’t think I’m up to visiting right now, maybe in a few weeks.”
“Ma I’m not talking about visiting, I want you to come and live with me in California.” Starsky studied the lines in her face wondering what she was thinking.
“Oh Davy,” Helen said tears springing to her eyes. “I can’t leave here, this is my home, has been ever since I can remember. Do you know how long I have lived in this apartment?”
Starsky nodded, “Since you and dad got married. I think it’s time you move some place that is easier for you. Those steps out front are a misery to climb; you have to haul your groceries up. You don’t dare go out in the evening. This neighborhood just isn’t what it was when Nick and I were kids.”
“Listen here young man,” Helen said taking offense at his words. “There is nothing wrong with this neighborhood except that it has gotten old just like me. I’m as safe here as I would anywhere else. I have my friends here, if I went with you I would have to start all over and I’m much to old to be doing that. Besides you don’t want some old woman hanging around getting in your way.”
“Ma you would never be in my way.”
Helen smiled and shook her head, “And just where would you take your girlfriends? Are you telling me you would be comfortable bringing your dates home with your old mother sitting on the couch knitting?”
“You don’t knit.”
“That my boy is beside the point. You have made a life for yourself, a good life. You have your friends there and now you have a daughter depending on you.”



                                                                                        ~CHAPTER TWO~


“You okay Daddy?” Hannah asked as the plane touched down. Hutch had told her while they were out that Starsky had planned on asking Helen Starsky to come back with them.
Starsky didn’t answer only nodded as he stared out the window at the ground rushing under the plane. He was afraid if he spoke the tears would come. He had argued with his mother until Hutch and Hannah had returned from their excursion of New York City.
He was still trying the next morning when his mother had finally put her foot down telling him that she was not now or ever moving to California but that she would be out to visit very soon. She wanted to get to know her granddaughter better.
As they entered the waiting room from the plane they saw Linda Albright standing there. Hutch went to her pulling her into his arms and planting a kiss on her lips. The pair had been an on going thing now for a year. Starsky sometimes wondered if they might get married one day. Hutch had finally found someone that understood his crazy hours but even more so the friendship he had with his partner.
After Hutch finished his greeting, Linda held her arms out to Hannah. They had formed a mother/daughter relationship of sorts. Hannah who was only supposed to stay with Linda a short time was still with her a year later. Linda enjoyed having Hannah around, even though she was older than her own daughter would have been Linda reveled in getting to play mother.
A tall young man came walking toward them; Hannah let out a squeal and went running toward him. “Brad I didn’t expect you to be here.” She stood on tippy toes to kiss him.
Brad shrugged looking at bit embarrassed by her display of affection in front of her father and Hutch. It was bad enough having one man looking over his shoulder but Hannah had two men looking out for her. After meeting in the lobby of the station it hadn’t taken Brad long to find out more about Hannah and ask her out on a date. They had become a steady thing quickly.
“Brad,” Starsky said extending his hand toward the young man. It had taken both Starsky and Hutch a while before they trusted the newest man in Hannah life. But they both learned swiftly that Brad was there for the long haul. He had been very patient with Hannah and the issues she had after being raped. It had been several months before she would even allow him to kiss her.
“Mr. Starsky,” Brad said taking his hand.
“You can call me just Starsky or David if you like,” Starsky offered for the millionth time.
And for the millionth time, Brad said, “Yes Sir.” But he would still call him Mr. Starsky. He looped his arm around Hannah’s neck. “Anybody up for dinner?” Hannah beamed at Brad; she had missed him terribly while they had been gone.
“You guys go on ahead,” Starsky said, he wasn’t much in the mood to be social he just wanted to be alone to sort of everything.
“Come on Starsky we’ll drive you home.” Linda said.
He shook his head, “I have my car in the lot. I’ll be fine.”
Hutch pulled his partner aside. “Are you sure you are ok buddy? You are looking a little shell shocked.”
“I’m fine Hutch just tired.” Starsky insisted. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow uh?” With out saying more Starsky started off to collect his luggage.
Hannah stood watching her father a worried look on her face. “I’ll keep an eye on him go on to dinner with Brad.”
She smiled gratefully at Hutch. “Thanks Uncle Hutch.”

It was late when Hannah finally got back to the apartment she was sharing with Linda. The apartment was large with enough room for them each to have their own space and not feel like they were intruding on each other. Linda was in bed reading when Hannah knocked lightly on her bedroom door. “You asleep?”
“Just reading come on in.” Linda answered. In the end Hutch had gone with Starsky leaving Linda to drive home alone but she understood that Starsky was going through a rough time and needed his partner.
Hannah opened the door, “Can I talk to you?”
Linda knew instantly that there was something wrong, over the past year she had learned to read Hannah. “What’s the matter hon?” she said patting the bed, inviting Hannah to sit with her. She perched on the edge of the bed and chewed on a fingernail. How was she ever going to tell her father if she couldn’t tell Linda? “Did you and Brad have a fight?”
Hannah sighed, “Well yes and no.” she answered cryptically.
Linda laugh, “So which is it?”
“Linda I’m pregnant,” Hannah said in a rush of words then held her breath to see what the woman would say.
As much as Linda tried to conceal it her face fell with disappointment. “Oh Hannah.”
“It’s okay,” Hannah rushed to explain. “Brad has asked me to marry him. He asked before we even found out I was pregnant. We were all set to tell daddy then I found out I was pregnant and Brad didn’t want him to think he was marrying me just because I was.”
Linda smiled and pulled Hannah’s hand from her mouth. “So what is the fight about?”
“Brad wants me to tell Daddy I’m pregnant.”
“It won’t be long and he will figure that out for himself you know. I think it would be better coming from you.”
“I want to get married first then tell everybody about the baby.” Hannah said.
“It’s not going to make a difference sweetie people can count they are going to know that you were pregnant before you were married.” Linda said gently.
“But it’s just like mom unmarried, pregnant.”
Linda shook her head as she thought and just like me. “This is totally different, Brad knows and the two of you are getting married, plus it’s not like you are a kid.”
“It’s just so much has happened since I have come in to my father’s life, seems like it’s just one thing after another. I have just turned his life upside down.”
Linda put her hand under Hannah’s chin to raise her head so she could look into her eyes, “He wouldn’t have it any other way. This might be just what he needs to perk him up.”
“Oh yeah becoming a grandfather should make him feel heaps better.” Hannah quipped.
“Look at it this way he’s going to get to see what he missed with you.”
Hannah thought for a moment she hadn’t seen it like that. She threw her arms around Linda’s neck. “Thank you.”
After Hannah went to her own room she felt a bit sad as she thought of her own mother. It should have been the two of them having that conversation but Linda made a wonder substitute mother and she didn’t know what she would do with out her. Hannah sat down on her bed and picked up the phone she would tell Brad that they would tell her father tomorrow.

“For Christ sakes Hutch I’m not two,” Starsky blustered as his partner carried his luggage into the apartment.
Hutch ignored him taking the suitcase back to the bedroom. When he came back he found Starsky sitting on the couch staring into space. “What are you doing?”
“I was just thinking.”
“About what?”
“Nick, I should have gone after him. Made him come back with me. I could have taken care of him he might have lived longer.”
“Starsk you don’t know that.”
“But I should have been there. He told ma not to tell me when he came home. He didn’t want me there.” Starsky choked out.
Hutch sat down next to him. “Starsky I can’t tell you what Nick’s reasoning was for not wanting you there. Maybe to spare you, maybe he didn’t want you to watch him die. Don’t torture yourself over this.”
Starsky shrugged. “Ma won’t even come live with me.”
“Starsk why can’t you understand she wants to be where she has been all her life. Everything she knows is there, her friends, other family.”
“You sound like ma,” Starsky said gloomily.
“I will take that as a compliment your mother is a very wise woman.” Hutch smiled at Starsky. “Hey how about if we go to Huggy’s and get some burgers my treat.”
“Naw, you go ahead. I don’t feel like being social.”
“Oh come on since when do you have to be social with me?”
Sighing Starsky got to his feet, he knew if he didn’t agree to go Hutch would just keep nagging him until they went anyway.



                                                                                    ~CHAPTER THREE~


Hannah wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans then took Brad’s hand before she knocked on her father’s apartment door. Brad squeezed her hand hoping to ease her fears. He had been delighted when she had called saying they were going to finally tell her father.
Starsky opened the door a broad grin spread across his face when he saw his daughter standing there. He hugged Hannah then asked Brad, “How’s it going?”
“Good Sir. Dobey has been keeping me pretty busy. My partner is out with the flu so I have been taking up the slack.”
“Well if you need any help just give me a holler and don’t pay much mind to Dobey his bark is much worse than his bite.”
Brad gave Starsky a doubtful look. Dobey had intimidated him from the first day he had met the man. And on top of it finding that Dobey had a close relationship with not only the two detectives but with Hannah also didn’t help much. It was like she had three fathers. Suddenly Brad had a pain in the pit of his stomach and had the urge to grab Hannah and run. What the hell was he thinking? He wanted her to tell her dad about the baby and the impending marriage? Had he lost his mind? “If you say so.”
Starsky chuckled and motioned them to come in. “Sit down, would you guys like a drink? I stocked up on beer.”
Brad was thinking something a bit stiffer. “I’m fine thanks.”
“No thanks daddy.” Hannah said as she perched on the edge of the couch.
“So what’s up?” Starsky asked looking from one to the other.
“Well I…we have something to tell you,” Hannah said looking at Brad for help. He put his arm around her shoulders but they had already decided that it was best if the news came from Hannah. “Daddy…I-I’m pregnant.” She held her breath waiting for his reaction.
Starsky froze his expression didn’t change, he stared at them both unable to speak. He had been half expecting them to tell him they were getting married and although he wouldn’t have been thrill it would have been better than what he had just been told.
“We are planning on getting married,” Brad said in a rush of words.
“But the baby isn’t the reason we were already talking about it we will just get married a little sooner than we planned.” Hannah added.
Still Starsky remained frozen trying to digest what they had just told him. A baby? Married? It wasn’t that he didn’t like Brad, he did and if he was to pick a son-in-law it would be Brad but they were both so young, just starting out. And selfishly he wasn’t ready to share Hannah with another man yet.
Finally he said, “Brad I would like to talk to my daughter alone.”
“Daddy we are in this together whatever you have to say to me you can say in front of Brad.” Hannah said trying to hold her temper knowing if she got angry it would only make things worse.
“It’s okay, I’ll go wait in the car.” Brad said as he got up.
Hannah jumped to her feet. “Brad wait!”
Brad turned around and put his hands on her shoulders, dropping his voice so only she could he hear him. “Talk to your dad honey. I understand really I do. I’ll be fine, maybe I’ll talk a walk around the block.”
Hannah sighed. “Alright, I won’t be long.”
After Brad left Hannah turned and looked at her dad. “Why did you do that?”
“Because I want talk to you alone.” Starsky said. “Sit down.”
Hannah flopped down on the couch. “I really don’t see what there is to talk about. I’m having this baby; Brad and I are getting married as soon as we can arrange it. I hope you will be there.”
“Why did you even bother coming here if you have got it all planned out?” Starsky snapped.
“I want your blessing Daddy. I want you to be part of our lives.” Hannah answered tears springing to her eyes.
“This isn’t what I wanted for you. Getting married like this isn’t the way. You know you don’t have to get married to have the baby.”
“Daddy I know that but didn’t you hear what we said? We were planning on getting married anyway.”
Starsky got to his feet and paced the room. “You guys are just too young. How are you going to live?”
“For Christ sakes, we both have good jobs at the department. You make it sound like we are silly high school kids. I’m going to be twenty-four and Brad twenty-six, I think we know what we are doing.” Hannah yelled.
“You don’t know what you want.” Starsky yelled back.
“Brad isn’t you Daddy, he’s not going to just let me go. He won’t walk away, he would follow me anywhere...” Hannah said her anger finally getting the best of her. Then she added, “…even Mexico.” She knew those last words would hurt but she had meant them too.
Starsky blanched, he was suddenly transported back to that day when Rosie told him she was leaving, going with her father to Mexico, leaving him. He should have gone after her, or put up a bigger fight to keep her there. He had let the woman he loved walk out of his life and even though he didn’t know it he had let his child go to. He wondered if he had known she were pregnant if things would have been different. Would he have gone with her then? That was a question he couldn’t answer.
“Hannah…” he began but she was headed toward the door.
She didn’t stop; instead she opened the door slamming it behind her going out to the car with out looking back. Brad was waiting for her leaning on the car. He could tell that things had not gone well. “What happened?”
“Get in the car we are leaving.” Hannah said pushing him out of the way so that she could get in.
Brad ran around and got behind the wheel, Hannah was sobbing in the front seat. “It’s going to be alright.”
“No it’s not,” Hannah cried as they drove away.
Starsky ran out the door just in time to see the car rounding the corner. “Oh Hannah,” Starsky said as his arms dropped limply to his side. Nick was right he was a rotten brother, he hadn’t been a very good friend to Hutch of late and now he had alienated Hannah. Starsky dropped down on the steps of his apartment and put his head in his hands. He felt as though his whole world was falling apart. Maybe they would all be off better without him.

“Hannah stop,” Brad called after her as she opened the door to the apartment she shared with Linda. She shoved the door shut but Brad caught it and followed her in. “Come on Hannah, don’t be mad at me.”
“I’m not mad a you Brad I just need to be alone if you don’t mine. I have some things I just need to sort out. I’ll call you later.”
“I’m not leaving her you here by yourself in this state.” Brad told her.
“Is everything alright?” came a voice from Linda’s bedroom; she had come out of the shower to hear their voices in the living room. She appeared in the room in a robe, a towel wrapped around her head.
Hannah ran to Linda flinging herself in to the older woman’s arms. Linda looked over her head at Brad. “Didn’t go well with her dad.” He explained.
Linda guided Hannah toward the couch so they could sit down. Brad stood awkwardly watching the two women not knowing what to do. “It was awful,” Hannah wept.
“What did he say?” Linda wanted to know.
“It was really so much what he said but the way he acted. And I don’t think he wants Brad and I to get married.”
Linda smoothed her hair. “Honey give him time to get use to the idea. I never told you this but when I told my father I was pregnant he hit the roof, he wanted me to have an abortion. And even talked about having my boyfriend tossed in jail since he was older than I was. Even mom in the beginning was mad but she got over it.”
“What about your dad?” Hannah asked looking at her with a tear stained face.
Taking a deep breath she said. “I don’t think he said two words to me the whole time I was pregnant. Only after the baby came and I had given her up did my dad start taking to me again. But it was still strained, never the same between us again.”
“I can’t lose my dad,” Hannah said through a fresh batch of tears.
“Starsky isn’t like my dad, he is much more understanding. Like I said just give him some time he’ll come around. I know he will.” Linda assured her.
A knock at the door interrupted them. Brad opened the door upon Linda’s request to find Hutch standing there. “I got to be going,” Brad said and slipped out and down the hall before Hutch could even speak to him.
“What’s wrong?” Hutch asked first looking down the hall then to the two women sitting on the couch.
“Give me a few minutes and I’ll be ready Hutch,” Linda said getting up. She had all but forgotten they had a date. “Will you be okay?” She asked Hannah.
“Sure you guys go and have a good time.” Hannah answered trying to cover up the fact she had been crying. She didn’t need another confrontation now. She got up to make a hasty retreat to her room when Hutch grabbed her arm.
“Hannah?” Just the caring tone in Hutch’s voice made Hannah break into tears again. She spun around and fell into Hutch’s arms. “Is Starsky alright?”
She nodded, at least she guessed he was okay, he had looked pretty thunderstruck when she had left him standing there. “Oh Uncle Hutch.”
“Hannah tell me what’s wrong.”
“I-I’m pregnant.” She blurted out.
“Does Brad know?” Was Hutch’s first question.
Hannah nodded, “We want to get married.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“Daddy is really upset. He kick Brad out of his apartment and and…” she couldn’t say anymore.
Hutch sighed; Starsky didn’t need this right now. He was barely hanging on to his sanity as it was. Even as close as Starsky and Hannah were he didn’t think she realized the turmoil her father was going through, she didn’t know the history with Nick. “I’ll talk to him sweetie.”
“Thank you Uncle Hutch,” Hannah said burying her face in his shirt. Then she looked up at him. “Are you mad at me?”
“Why would I be mad? I think you and Brad will make wonderful parents even if you are doing it a bit backward.” He winked at Hannah then hugged her close.




                                                                                          ~CHAPTER FOUR~


“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Hutch asked Linda as they pulled up in front of Starsky’s apartment.
Linda looked at Hutch lovingly and touched his cheek gently. “Don’t you know this is one of the things I love most about you?”
Hutch moved his face until his lips touched her hand, he kissed it then said, “I’ll be right back.”
Starsky was sitting in his dark apartment; he hadn’t bothered to turn on the lights as the evening crept upon him. He was aware someone was knocking on his door but he didn’t want to talk to anybody, he just wanted to be left alone. Hannah’s words had hurt him, making it sound as if he dumped Rosie, didn’t care that she was pregnant. If he had known it would have been different, they would have worked it out. He had lost Rosie now he was going to lose Hannah. She had Brad, Hutch had Linda and he had nobody, not even his own mother wanted to be with him.
The door to his apartment opened letting in a shaft of moonlight. “Starsky you here?” This was the second time Hutch had played out this scene in so many days.
“I thought you and Linda had a date.” Said a raspy voice.
“We do, but I wanted to check on you first.”
“I’m fine go on your date.”
“Starsky you aren’t fine, people don’t just sit around in the dark when they are fine.” Hutch said as he flipped on the living room light they both squinted in the sudden light.
“Hutch I said I was fine,” Starsky reiterated. “I’m just doing something thinking.”
“You have been doing a lot of that lately partner.”
“Well maybe I have a lot of think about. I have been doing a lot of screwing up.”
“Starsky if you are taking about Hannah I know. I saw her at Linda’s when I went to pick her up.”
“And you are okay with it?”
Hutch sighed. “What’s not to be okay about? It’s not like they are teenagers. They are both capable adults. Hannah and Brad will make wonderful parents.”
“I’m not ready to quit being a parent,” Starsky stormed anger spreading across his face. “Hannah is my baby I’m not done raising her yet.”
“I don’t want to be a hard ass here but Hannah is twenty-four she is ready to start a family of her own. And you don’t have to stop being a parent. She is going to need you more than ever. She is heartbroken over your reaction.”
“Hutch please just go on your date. I don’t want to talk about this right now.” Starsky got up and went to his apartment door opening it. “Go on Linda is waiting. You can’t keep doing this or you are going to lose her and I will have screwed up one more relationship.”
“But Starsky…”
“Get out of here Hutch…I mean it.”
“Fine but I’ll be back tomorrow.”
“I’ll see you at work in the morning.”
“Let me come and pick you up.”
“Hutch.”
“Ok I’m going but I had better see you in there in the morning or I will be back.”

Hannah sat on her bed holding the phone in her lap; several crumpled tissues lay at her feet. Slowly she dialed the number that had become so familiar in the past year. It rang only once before it was picked up.
“Hannah?”
She had to smile even though her heart was breaking. Brad had known it was going to be her on the other end. “Yeah it’s me.”
“Are you okay?” she could hear the concern in his voice.
“Yeah I guess so.”
“You know your dad will come around. I guess we should have waited instead of springing it on him like that. I know he just lost his brother and all.”
“I guess we should have thought of that before.”
“Or just left out the baby part.”
Hannah didn’t answer.
“You still there?”
“I’m here. Brad?”
“What is it hon,” He could tell there was something she wanted to say but he was shocked by what words were going to come.
“I can’t marry you.”
“WHAT?”
“I’m sorry, my dad needs me.”
“Our baby needs US. This is nuts!”
“I’m sorry I really am I don’t know how to explain it I just have to be there for my dad. Maybe later on we can get married. But right now he needs me to be with him. I think I’m going to see if he will let me move back in with him. Or maybe we can get a bigger apartment or even a small house…” Hannah rambled on. She had to keep talking or go crazy.
“Did he ask you to come and stay with him?” Brad said appalled.
“He wouldn’t do that.” Hannah said.
“So you are just assuming that he wants to go off and play house with his pregnant daughter? Don’t you think that is just a little fucking weird?” Brad asked furiously.
“Bradley don’t you speak that way to me.” Hannah cried her own anger rising. “A lot of my life time was stolen from my father.”
“So stealing my life time with you and our child is going to replace that?” Brad stormed. “You honestly think this is what he wants?”
“I don’t think he knows what he wants right now.” Hannah said. She could feel the turmoil going on with in Starsky for the last year. “His brother dying hit him very hard.”
“I don’t understand what the hell that has to do with us Hannah.” Brad shot back. “You think giving him our baby is going to make up for everything?”
“I’m not giving him our baby. I just want to make sure he is okay. I can’t get married and be happy unless he approves. And right now for whatever reason he doesn’t. You know this might not be for very long. I think he just needs to know that I’m not going to abandon him.”
“But it’s ok to abandon me… that’s great Hannah just GREAT!” The phone clicked in her ear.
Slowly Hannah hung up the phone and fell backward on her bed, the phone slipped to the floor but she didn’t bother to get it. What had she done? She wondered if Brad would ever forgive her. But she had to follow her heart and right now her heart was telling her that her father needed her far more than Brad did. They had their whole lives ahead of them but she felt that perhaps her father was slipping away from her. She knew that Hutch was very worried about Starsky, he hadn’t said so in so many words but Hannah could tell by the way he looked at his partner. She noticed that her Uncle watched him constantly as if he were trying to read his thoughts or will him to be happy again.
If all it took to make her father happy was to postpone the wedding for a while then so be it. And if Brad didn’t understand then maybe he wasn’t the right guy after all.

Later that evening when Hutch dropped Linda off they were both stunned by Hannah’s news. “You are going to do what? Have you talked to your dad about his?” Hutch wanted to know.
Hannah shook her head. “I was going to talk to him tomorrow. I thought I would go over there armed with some properties we could look at. I want him to know I mean it.”
“Hannah I really don’t think this is what he needs right now.” Hutch advised all he could hear echoing in his head were Starsky’s works about destroying his relationship with Linda. And even thought he wasn’t gung-ho about Hannah’s impending marriage he was sure that he didn’t want her to dump Brad for him. This would only send him into more of a tailspin than he was already in.
“Then what the hell am I suppose to do? He doesn’t want me to get married; I don’t know how he feels about the baby. He has been in this funk forever; I don’t know what to do anymore Uncle Hutch. I can’t stand watching him tear himself apart. And like I told Brad if my being with him for awhile helps then so be it.”
“I don’t think this will help. You breaking if off with Brad will only make him feel worse.”
“I didn’t break it off with Brad I just postponed the wedding. Maybe I’ll stay with Daddy until after the baby is born then Brad and I can get married.”
“And what does Brad think of all this?” Linda asked.
Hannah got quiet her eyes filling with tears. “I think I lost him.”



                                                                                         ~CHAPTER FIVE~
​

The next morning as Hutch came into work he noticed Brad sitting sullenly at his desk but he didn’t approach him instead he went to check to see if Starsky was there. Since there was no sign of him in the office, Hutch popped his head into Dobey’s office, “Starsky come in yet.”
“Haven’t seen him,” Dobey answered.
“I’m going to give him a call, if I can’t raise him I’m going to head over to his place,” Hutch informed his captain. “He wasn’t feeling too well last night.”
Dobey waved his approval with out taking his eyes from the paper he was reading. Hutch went to his desk and dial Starsky’s number, he let it ring over a dozen times a couple of times with no answer. So he headed out to check on his partner.
Here he was pounding on Starsky’s once again and getting no answer. Hutch opened the door and went in, nothing had changed since the night before only the light in the room had increased since it was daylight. He saw Starsky still sitting on the couch in the same place he had left him the night before. His partner was slumped over as if he were asleep. Hutch rushed to his side, “Starsk?” He went down on his knees to get a better look at his face. “Starsky are you awake?”
Starsky’s eyes opened slightly and he managed to get out, “Hutch.” Hutch was tired of playing around; he scooped up his limp partner and carried him out to his car.

The waiting was endless, Hutch paced the corridor waiting for news on Starsky, and it had been over ninety minutes since he had brought him in and still no word. He had call Linda to let her know what was going on with the promise that as soon as he had news he would call back. Finally the doctor motioned for Hutch from one of the exam rooms.
“Detective Hutchinson you partner is suffering from severe depression. We have started him on some IV’s that should help pull him out of this but he will have to be put on depression medicine and monitored closely. I would like to see him be admitted to the hospital but he is dead sit against it.”
“We have had our fair share of hospital stays.” Hutch interjected.
“The prescription I am going to put him on is very good but if not given correctly can lead to death. In studies whether accidental or on purpose there have been suicides related to this medicine.”
“Isn’t there something safer you can give him?” Hutch asked worriedly.
“Yes but they aren’t as effective and at this point I feel that in Detective Starsky’s case this is the best way to go. That is if somebody will be there to make sure that he takes the correct dosage.”
“Don’t worry about that doc,” Hutch said, “I’ll be there.”
“No I’ll be there,” said a female voice. Hannah walked into the exam room.
“How did you find out?”
“Linda called me when she hadn’t heard from you in so long.” Hannah said. “Doctor I’ll make sure my father gets the care that he needs.”
“And you are going to put your life on hold?” Hutch asked Hannah then he looked at the doctor and said, “How long are we talking about here?”
“He should be back to his old self in about six months or less.” The doctor answered. “But we like our patients to stay on the drug for at least two years. Less chance of a relapse.”
“Hannah you can’t put your and Brad’s life on hold for two years. That isn’t fair to either other you.” He looked at the doctor, “Excuse us.” He pulled Hannah out into the hallway. “By the way the doctor talks about this medication somebody is going to have to be there all the time to make sure he takes the right dosage.”
“I understand that Uncle Hutch, I heard what he said I was in the hall the whole time.” Hannah said stubbornly. “And what makes you think there is even a me and Brad anymore?”
“Oh come on Honey Brad isn’t going to just dump you over this.”
“I tried to talk to him this morning and he wouldn’t even look at me.”
“You have to give him sometime.”
“Well I don’t have anymore time and neither does Daddy. He is far more important to me than Brad. If Brad really loved me he would understand.”
“You are asking a lot. I can stay with him, make sure he’s taken care of.” Hutch said.
“What about you and Linda?”
“It’s different with the two of us. We are friends, it’s nothing serious.”
Neither of them noticed the figure that was walking toward them they were in such deep conversation. Linda stopped in her tracks when she heard Hutch’s words. Friends? She had thought they were so much more to each other than just friends; neither of them even dated another since they had started going out. She had actually thought their relationship might lead to marriage. Linda turned on her heels and left the hospital.
“This is what I’m going to do, I don’t care if you or Brad like it or not I owe my father this much. I have my whole life ahead of me there will be time later.”
“But what about the baby?”
Hannah sighed. “I’ll deal with that when it’s born.”
“We aren’t talking about a puppy or a kitten here, babies are a big responsibility.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” Hannah snapped. “But I’m not losing my father in the process, I have already lost my mother and grandfather, I’m running out of family.”
Hutch pulled her into his arms, “You always have me sweetie.” Hannah’s arms went around him and she hugged him tight. “I’ll do what ever you need me too.”
“Thanks Uncle Hutch I knew I could count on you.” Hannah said tears standing in her eyes. “I’ll take a leave of absents so I can be with him.”
Hutch shook his head, “We’ll do this together, and we will work it out so that one or the other of us is always with him.”
She nodded, “That would be great.” Hannah was relieved she didn’t want to quit work just yet she knew she would be out a while when the baby came.
The doctor stepped out into the hall, “Have we come to a decision?”
“Yes sir,” Hannah said, “When can I take my father home?”
“Let us keep him the rest of the day, come back around five and I’ll check him out.” The doctor told them both.
Hannah smiled at him, that would give her enough time to talk to Brad and stock the apartment with food if she knew her dad which she did there wouldn’t be much there to eat.

Hannah’s first stop was the station to track down Brad, she thought it was only fair to let him know what she had decided and if he wasn’t willing to wait then that was the way it would have to be. She loved Brad and hated to lose him but her father was more important at this point. Hannah finally found Brad in the cafeteria; he was sitting at one of the tables all by himself pushing his food around on the plate.
“Brad?”
He looked up but didn’t smile, “What do you want?”
“Don’t be that way Brad. I need to talk to you.” Hannah said
“Are you going to tell me you have come to your senses and we are getting married?” He asked.
She shook her head sadly. “I don’t want to discuss this here. Could we have dinner tonight?”
“I don’t see where we have anything to discuss Hannah.” Brad said as he tossed his napkin in his plate and got up. He walked over to dispose of his uneaten food, Hannah followed.
“Please Brad,” she begged. “I know you hate me right now but please let me try to explain.”
“What, explain how you are choosing your father over me?” He said a little too loudly. Several people turned to stare at them.
Hannah dragged him out into the hall, “I don’t want to discuss this here. Please Brad?”
“FINE,” he finally relented. “I’ll met you at the Pit’s after work.”
“Thank you.”

Hutch had also come back to the station he wanted to let Linda know what was going on and to tell her that he wouldn’t be able to come over that evening. He and Hannah had decided they would both be there for Starsky when he was released from the hospital. Hutch spied Linda walking down the hall and called out to her but she didn’t stop and continued on into her office.
“Hey didn’t you hear me calling you?” Hutch asked when he got to the office door.
“Sorry,” She said sitting down. “I have a lot of work Hutch.”
“I just wanted to let you know that I wouldn’t be over tonight. Starsky is going to be fine but he’s going to need somebody to stay with him for a while so Hannah and I are going to split the job.”
“I see.”
“Everything alright?”
“Sure.”
Hutch furrowed his brow as he watched her; she had never been so dismissive with him before. Even if she was swamped with work Linda would take the time to talk to him. “I’m really sorry about tonight. I know we were planning on making dinner together but how about tomorrow night?”
“I’m busy tomorrow,” Linda said without looking up.
Hutch sighed confused by her actions. “Okay well I’ll give you a call then.”
“Fine.”
Hutch left the office perplexed, she seemed mad at him but he wasn’t sure why. She had never been up set over the time he was with Starsky before. Maybe she was just out of sorts over the stuff with Hannah. He would ask her when he called her later.


                                                                                        ~CHAPTER SIX~


“I am not a child,” Hutch heard the familiar voice as he got off the elevator. Hutch hurried down the hall to the temporary room that the doctor had placed his partner in. Hannah was standing holding her father’s jacket, Starsky who was fully dressed and looking much better sat on the bed stubbornly. “I don’t need you and Hutch watching over me 24/7!”
“But Daddy unless you agree the doctor is going to have to put you in the hospital.” Hannah pleaded.
“This is crazy,” Starsky growled, “A man falls asleep on his couch and he is instantly depressed, give me a break.”
“Why don’t you give Hannah a break buddy?” Hutch said as he stepped into the room.
“Ah my daughters partner in crime has arrived.” Starsky snapped. Hutch smiled it was actually good to see Starsky angry instead of so sad.
“Starsky it’s not forever, the doctor just wants to make sure that you take your medication correctly.”
“You don’t think I’m capable of doing that? I’m not nuts I think I can handle taking a pill a couple times a day.” Starsky raged at them.
“I’m sure the doctor explained it all to you.” Hutch said going over to the bedside. He put his hand under Starsky’s elbow to help him to his feet.
Starsky jerked away, “I am not an invalid.”
“Nobody said you were Daddy,” Hannah sighed.
Hutch looked Starsky square in the eye. “Do you love Hannah?”
“Of course I do what the hell kind of question is that?” Starsky wanted to know.
“Then do this for her uh? We are only trying to help.”
The anger on Starsky’s face vanished and he looked at his partner and daughter. “Alright, alright but no waiting on me hand and foot uh?”
“You got it,” Hannah smiled and handed him his jacket. “I hope you don’t mind but I have been puttering around your apartment today.”
Starsky grimaced, “Cleaning lady forget to come?”
Hannah grinned at her dad, “Something like that.”

Hannah had just finished the last dish from dinner and looked at her watch it was nearly seven, Brad would be off duty in thirty minutes he had been working over time since his partner had been out sick.
She went into the living room where her dad and uncle were talking she leaned on the back of Starsky’s chair. “I got to leave for a little while Daddy.”
“I’ll be here,” Hutch assured her.
Starsky sighed, “For heaven sakes I think I can handle being here for a few hours by myself.”
“I want to stay,” Hutch insisted but he had decided that when Hannah got back he was going to drop in on Linda.
“Thanks Uncle Hutch,” Hannah said placing a kiss on his cheek. “I shouldn’t be too long, I’ll be at the Pits with Brad.”
Starsky frowned and grabbed Hannah’s hand pulling her down next to him. “Baby about last night…I didn’t mean the things I said. I really like Brad, he’s a wonderful young man, a good cop and I think he’ll make a wonderful father.”
Tears filled Hannah’s eyes, Starsky took it as joy but Hutch knew better. “Thanks Daddy.” She pulled herself away. “I’ll be back.”

Brad was seated in a back booth when Hannah arrived. He had two empty beer bottles in front of him already and was drinking a third. She slid in the seat across from him. “I’m sorry if I’m late.”
“I got off a little early,” Brad said with out looking at her. He had been doing a lot of thinking since their fight at lunch. He knew how much Hannah’s father meant to her, he actually admired that in her. Even he could see that something wasn’t quite right with Starsky. He had been friendly and open when they had first started dating but as time went on he seem more with drawn. Brad had thought maybe he was just a bit jealous that Hannah had another man in her life. Hannah had been very upset earlier it had to be more then a bit of jealousy. But Brad did realize one thing he didn’t want to live his life with out Hannah. He had been miserable the last twenty-four hours.
“Brad,” Hannah began. “I don’t even know where to start. Daddy is…well just short of having a nervous break down.” Tears filled her eyes; Brad instantly got up and slid in next to her putting his arm around her. She explained in great detail what the doctor had told her and Hutch. “I have to be there for him.”
“We have to be there for him.”
“But I can’t ask you to wait for two years.” Hannah said.
“You aren’t asking I’m offering.” Brad grabbed her hand. “I want to be a part of your life of our babies life and if that means waiting until you are ready then so be it.”
She threw her arms around his neck, “I love you but are you sure?”
“I’m sure, we will make this work some how,” Brad promised her. “I’m sorry that I made you feel you had to choose between the two of us.”
“As I was leaving tonight Daddy gave us his blessing, he apologized for his reaction last night. It was the depression talking. The medicine they have put him on has really help.”
“Maybe the three of us can go out to dinner soon.” Brad suggested. “Speaking of dinner you ready to order?”
Hannah smiled at him sheepishly, “I already ate with Daddy and Uncle Hutch, I hope you don’t mind. It just seemed the right thing to do.”
“Sit while I eat?” Brad asked smiling at her.
Hannah sighed she had been so ready for the fight that she thought was ensue when she told Brad that she wouldn’t be ready to marry for two years. “Of course, Uncle Hutch is with Daddy.”
As Brad and Hannah said good night a light mist of rain began to fall. He turned up his collar against the wetness. “I’ll talk to you in the morning uh?”
Hannah nodded. “Thank you Brad.”
“For what?”
“Being the man I told my father you were.”

When Hannah returned back to her fathers apartment Hutch was sitting on the front steps. His hair was damp and his shirt sticking to him. “Anything wrong?” Hannah asked worriedly.
Hutch shook his head, “He’s sleeping, I don’t know if it’s the medication or he’s just tired.”
“It has been a big day,” Hannah said sitting down next to him.
Hutch nudged her, “So how are things with you and Brad?”
She grinned at him, “Great, he said he will wait for me…for us.” She put her hand on her still flat stomach.
Hutch kissed the top of her head, “I told you he would come around.”
Hannah nodded. “I just hope he really will hang around, two years is a long time.”
“I don’t think it’s going to be that long honey.” Hutch said getting up, he glanced at his watch it was nearing midnight. “If you think you’ll be okay I’m going to head over to Linda’s. She was acting kind of strange when I talked to her earlier but I didn’t have time to find out what was wrong.”
“You go on, we will be fine really. If I need you I’ll call.” Hannah told him. After Hutch left she let herself into her father’s apartment, she walked to the bedroom where he was sleeping soundly. Hannah smiled as she walked over and stood watching him, she lay down next to him. “I’ll be here for you no matter what.” She whispered as she fell asleep.

Hutch knocked on Linda’s door she had been just heading toward her bedroom with a bowl of popcorn ready to watch the late show. She sighed as she made a detour to the door. She looked out the peephole but already had a good idea who it was. Hutch was the only one that would come knocking this time of night. Linda almost didn’t open the door when she confirmed her suspicions were correct. But she knew Hutch wasn’t the type to give up and go away so she opened the door but left the chain on.
The chained door took hutch aback; Linda had never greeted him this way before. “It’s me.”
“I know who it is,” Linda said through the crack in the door.
“Are you mad at me about something?” Hutch asked confused. “If it’s about Starsky he’s sick Linda, he needs Hannah and I.”
“I know that, I’m not mad about Starsky.” She said. “I got to go my movie is about to start.”
“Oh come on Linda,” Hutch pleaded. “I need to talk to you.”
“I see so I’m good enough to talk to but not good enough to commit to, is that it?”
“Commit? What are you talking about?” Hutch asked even more confused. “Let me in please.”
Against her better judgment Linda unchained the door. “You got five minutes Hutch.”
“Please just tell me what I did?”
“I was there.”
“Where?”
“The hospital earlier today.”
“I didn’t see you.”
“Of course you didn’t you were too damn busy telling Hannah how we were just friends, nothing serious. I believe that is a direct quote.”
Hutch closed his eyes, he remembered saying those words clearly, and he hadn’t meant them… really. “Linda I was just trying to…”
“Oh save it Hutch, I don’t need your excuses.” Linda said here was a catch in her voice. “I’m not stupid. Hell you can even hardly say you love me.”
“But I do love you.”
She sighed, “You know I don’t really doubt that, I think you might love me in your own way. But our relationship is going no where.”
God I don’t need this now, Hutch thought to himself. “Linda I didn’t mean what I said.”
“Are you so sure?”
Hutch was about to respond when the phone rang. They both looked at the phone, Linda when over to pick it up. “Don’t answer it.”
But she did anyway. “Hello? Yes I am.”
Hutch hated listened to a one sided conversation. He went and sat down on the couch, Linda shot him a look of not to get too comfortable.
“Yes I do, he’s right here. WHAT? Dear God,” Linda exclaimed her eyes welling with tears.
Hutch jumped to his feet and came to her side, “What is it?” he hissed at her.
Linda waved him to be quiet. “Yes I understand…immediately…yes, yes I will.” Linda hung up the phone; her face was as white as a sheet.
“For Christ sakes Linda what the hell is it?”


                                                                                    ~CHAPTER SEVEN~



Linda and Hutch pulled up behind several police cars their flashing lights glowed on the wet road. An ambulance with it’s doors hanging open was sitting crosswise in the road, they could see a car laying on it’s hood just in front of the ambulance and several firemen were working on cutting the crushed door open so that they could get the victim out. Thankfully the rain had stopped falling they jumped out of Hutch’s car and headed toward the over turned car. Hutch flashed his badge to a couple of the officers so they would let them by.
Tony Elliott stood by watching, he had been the officer that had called Linda’s looking for Hutch. He turned as they approached, “Glad you got here so quickly.”
“Are you sure it’s Brad?” Hutch asked. Between the darkness and the car being so smashed up it was hard to tell.
Tony nodded, “Ran the plates, it’s Brad’s car alright and Bill over there knows Brad says it’s him in the drivers seat.”
“Is he alive?” Linda asked hoping for the best but expecting the worst.
“He had a faint pulse when we got here but I think he’s gone.” Tony said looking down at the ground. He knew as well as most of the officers on the force that Brad was dating Starsky’s daughter. “I thought it would come better from you Hutch than Hannah getting a phone call.”
“They were going to get married soon,” Hutch said in a choked voice. “I don’t know how I’m going to tell her this.” He rubbed his hand over his face, at least they had made up, leaving their relationship on a good note. He knew this was going to devastate Hannah and even worse what was this going to do to Starsky.
“He’s out!” came a shout from the car. “Get a gurney over here.”
Two paramedics who were keeping their distance until they were needed rushed past pushing a gurney. Brad was gently loaded on it as the paramedics worked on him. They started doing CPR as soon as they had him strapped on. “Nothing,” one of the men said as they rush him back to the waiting ambulance.
“Keep working on him,” the other man yelled. They both shoved the wheeled gurney into the back then jumped in. An officer slammed the doors and pounded on the back of the doors. “GO, GO, GO!”
Tears were running down Linda’s face as she watched the lights of the ambulance fade into the night. “You two going to the hospital?” Tony asked.
“Yes, yes of course,” Linda answered.
Just in case, neither of them said it as they ran for Hutch’s car to follow the speeding ambulance but they were both hoping that by some twist of fate Brad would live. But their hopes were dashed as they entered the emergency room doors. Several officers lining the walls to wait on word were crying, one of their own had died that evening on the rain slick roads.
Linda put her arms around Hutch clutching him tightly as they both cried not only for Brad but also for Hannah and their unborn baby who now would never know it’s father. They stood there for a while as the officers offered their condolences to Brad’s “almost” family, and after speaking to the doctor who had hopeless tried to revive the fatally injured officer Linda and Hutch left to do a job they didn’t want to do.
It was after four a.m. when they knocked on Starsky’s door. It took several times before they saw a light go on inside. “Who is it?”
Hutch took a deep breath before he answered. “It’s Hutch and Linda, Hannah.”
She jerked the door open; she was still dressed in her clothes. She had only meant to lay down with her father for a short time but she had fallen into a deep sleep and was having a wonderful dream of her and Brad pushing a stroller in a park. “What are you two doing here? What time is it?” She asked glancing at her watch.
“What’s going on?” Starsky asked from the doorway of the bedroom.
“I don’t know Hutch and Linda are here.” She answered him.
“Hannah why don’t you sit down,” Hutch said taking her arm leading her toward the couch. “Starsky you too.”
“God what has happened?” Hannah asked for the first time noticing the stricken looks on both of their faces. “Brad it’s Brad isn’t it?” That would be the only reason for the looks on their faces.
Slowly Hutch nodded, he went down on his knees in front of her and took both of her hands in his. “Hannah sweetie, Brad was in a car accident.”
“Is he alright? What hospital is he in?” Hannah said tears streaming down her face.
Linda sat down next to Hannah and put her arm around the girls shaking shoulders. She looked at Hutch and nodded.
“Hannah, Brad is dead, the doctors did all they could do, the accident was just too bad, the doctor said that he was killed almost instantly, he didn’t suffer.” Hutch said.
Starsky face went deathly pale as he also put his arm around his daughter. “Oh Baby I’m so sorry.” Tears were standing in his eyes.
But Hannah hadn’t heard anything after the words Brad is dead. She sat stunned, hardly able to breath, hoping she would wake from the nightmare she was having. What happened to the wonderful dream she had been having? They were walking the baby in the park they were happy. They were going to have a little house, everything was going to be perfect…everything was going to be…Hannah screamed shoving both Linda and her father a way from her. Then she attacked Hutch beating him on the chest, driving him to the floor. Hannah fell on top of him screaming. “You are a liar! I hate you, I hate you.”
Starsky grabbed Hannah’s flaying limbs in order to protect his partner from further assault. “Hannah stop,” he ordered but she was beyond hearing she was so grief stricken.
“You are a liar, you never liked Brad, I hate you!” she yelled still hitting Hutch who had brought up his arms to protect his face.
“Hannah!” Linda yelled at the young woman. Finally she slapped Hannah across the face Hannah stopped looking at Linda dazed. “It’s not Hutch’s fault. You have got to calm down or you might lose the baby.”
Baby, the baby, Brad’s baby, Hannah rocked back on her heels put her hands over her face and wept.
This was as bad as her screaming and striking out at Hutch. Linda pulled Hannah into her arms. “It’s going to be alright, we are here for you.” She rocked Hannah back and forth as the girl sobbed.
Thankfully Hannah cried herself to sleep, Hutch scooped her up and carried into the bedroom. He laid her on Starsky’s bed and covered her up then sat with her a while smoothing her tear dampened hair from her face. Finally he eased off the bed, he wanted to see how Starsky was, this couldn’t have come at a worse time.
Linda was sitting next to Starsky explaining the details or at least as much as they knew at this time. They both looked up at Hutch as he entered the room. He had a scratch on his cheek from where one of Hannah’s nails had caught him in her attack. Linda got to her feet, “Hutch you are bleeding.”
Hutch reached up and touched his face and looked at the blood smeared on his fingers. He shrugged, “It’s nothing.”
“I’ll clean it up for you,” Linda said taking his hand and leading him into the bathroom.
Hutch closed the door behind them. “How is Starsk taking it?”
“He seems to be alright. But I think you need to really watch him.”
“Both of them.” Hutch said and grimaced as Linda touched his cheek.
“Hold still will ya?”
“I’ll take you home when we finish.”
“I think I’ll hang out. Hannah might need me when she wakes up.” Linda said as she affixed a small band-aid on the scratch. Then she looked up at him. “Hutch are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” Hutch answered. Hannah had really shaken him coming at him like that. “You know that old adage about killing the messenger.” It was a joke but there was no smile on Hutch’s face as he said it.
“You are going to have your hands full you know.” Linda said as she sat on the edge of the sink.
“Yeah, I don’t think Hannah is going to be in any kind of shape to be there for Starsky, at least not for a while anyway.” He said wondering how he was going to juggle this and work.
“I’ll be here to help.” Linda said looking into Hutch’s blue eyes.
He leaned closer to her wanting to kiss her but hesitating not sure how she felt about it after the events earlier in the evening.
“Well?” Linda asked leaning closer to him. They were almost touching nose to nose.
“Well what?” he asked is a soft voice.
“Are you going to kiss me or not?”
“I thought you were mad at me.” Hutch said leaning back a bit to get a look at her face.
“I’ll be mad later,” Linda said as has she grabbed his face and brought his lips to hers.



                                                                                 ~CHAPTER EIGHT~


Hannah woke up, her eyes felt as though they were glue shut she had to almost force them to open. The room was just beginning to get light as night was fading into that early morning gray just before the sun came up. She hurt all over, she pushed her self up on her elbows and looked around, Hannah for a moment was confused as to where she was. As things came into focus she realized that she was in her father’s bedroom then all of a sudden the events of last night washed over her. She fell back onto the pillow as tears began to flow again. How could this happen? Maybe it was a mistake, maybe she had dreamed it after all she had been having funny dreams lately.
“Daddy?” Hannah croaked out. Her lips were dry and cracked and her throat ached.
Starsky was sprawled out on the couch asleep, Linda in an over stuff chair and Hutch had lain down on the floor. As soon as Starsky heard the call his eyes popped open, he got up and went to his daughter.
When she saw the look on his face she knew that it hadn’t been a dream, Brad was really dead. He crawled on the bed with her and took her in his arms. “I’m sorry baby, I’m so sorry.” He cooed to her as he stroked her tangled hair.
She clung to him like a small child, “What am I going to do Daddy?”
“You are going to go on, Brad would have wanted that. You have your baby to think of.”
Hannah shook her head, “I can’t have this baby now. I don’t it to grow up not having a father.”
Starsky put his finger under her chin and lifted her eyes to meet his, “What are you saying Hannah?”
“I want to have an abortion.”
“You aren’t thinking clearly honey. You don’t want to do that. This is the only part of Brad you have left.”
“That isn’t a reason to bring a baby into the world.” Hannah insisted. “I don’t want to do this alone.”
“But you aren’t alone you have me and Hutch. What about Linda she has been almost like a mother to you?”
“But I don’t want this baby to have almost a father I want it to have the real thing.”
“What if your mother had felt like this. You wouldn’t be here right now and look what I would have missed out on. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were little but look how you have turned out.”
Hannah turned over on to her side away from Starsky and curled up into a ball. All she wanted to do was die too, and then she could be with Brad. Starsky tried to touch Hannah but she shrugged of his hand. “Leave me alone Daddy please.”
Starsky sigh and got up as he went back in the living room both Linda and Hutch were stirring. Hutch groaned has he stretched out his back, Linda got up and went to the kitchen to make coffee as she pasted Starsky she asked. “How is Hannah?”
He shook his head, “She wants to get an abortion.”
“WHAT?” Linda stopped in her tracks unable to believe what she was hearing. “You aren’t going to let her are you?”
“She is an adult there isn’t much I can do to stop her but I sure can try and talk her out of it.” Starsky said sadly. “Would you talk to her?”
“Of course,” Linda said.
“Wait a bit she is pretty upset right now, maybe she will come to her senses if we let her think about it.” Starsky said flopping down on the couch.
“I guess we need to make the arrangements for Brad,” Hutch said he as all of them knew that Brad had no other family to speak of. A few cousins some place but nobody he kept in contact with.
Starsky nodded. “I think that is the least we can do for Brad and Hannah.”

Three days later the four of them were standing at Brad’s gravesite they were dressed in full police uniform as was everybody else attending. Hannah was completely dry eyed and had not cried another tear since she had told her father her plans for an abortion, nor had she spoken except when she was made to and only then it was a “yes” or “no”.
The commissioner walked up and handed Hannah the flag from Brad’s casket, Starsky had to nudge her before she would respond and take the offered flag. “I am terribly sorry Office Starsky.” The commissioner said as she took it.
But Hannah didn’t answer it was Starsky that spoke for her. “Thank you sir.”
Dobey and Edith came up to them once the service was over. Edith hugged Hannah but it was like hugging a mannequin, Hannah remained stiff and didn’t return the hug. The Dobey’s gave her a sympatric look, then Edith put her hand on Starsky’s shoulder. “If you need anything just call.”
“Thanks Edith.” Starsky said gratefully. He saw Hutch cast a worried look at him. He knew that his partner was worried he was going to go into a tailspin over Brad’s death but he was too busy being there for Hannah. He put his arm around Hannah’s waist and whispered in her ear, “Let’s go.”
Hannah shoved the folded flag in her father’s arms and headed across the lawn toward the waiting limo. What good was a flag going to do her? It couldn’t bring back the man she loved. The drive of the limo saw her coming and had the door open before she got there. Hannah climbed in and sat with her arms crossed waiting for the rest of them. Tomorrow was the day she had scheduled her self for the abortion. Linda had talked to her and Hutch. Starsky had pleaded with her to change her mind but she had refused. She was not bringing the baby into the misery and sorrow of life. She didn’t want to explain to her child that it’s father had died and that they hadn’t even been married. Hannah could barely think let alone raise a child. They had told her it would pass, things would get better, and the pain would lessen. But she didn’t care she had her mind set.
Starsky climbed into the car next to her still holding the flag, he tried to lay it in her lap but she pushed it away. “I don’t want it.”
He handed the flag to Hutch who had gotten in across from them then put his arm around Hannah, she allowed it to remain, in fact she didn’t even acknowledge that it was even there. She refused to allow anybody to comfort her, if kind words were said she would walk from the room. Hannah didn’t want to feel better, she didn’t want to get over and the baby would be a constant reminder of what she had lost.
There was a small gathering at Linda’s after the funeral but Hannah refused to go, she had insisted on being taken back to her father’s apartment. Hutch went with Linda for appearances and telling everyone that Hannah wasn’t feeling well and that Starsky was taking care of her.
The next morning Hannah still had her mind set, Starsky actually refused to take her to the clinic where she had the appointment. He begged up until the moment that she walked out the door with her car keys in her hand. After she left Starsky grabbed his own keys and followed her.
Shortly after they both left Hutch arrived, he had been working night shift since Starsky had taken several weeks off first for his own health, then to be with Hannah. He was worried upon finding the apartment empty and both cars missing. He knew that meant they were out separately. Then he remembered were Hannah had gone.
Starsky pulled up and parked a block from the clinic, he could see Hannah’s car in the parking lot across the street for the building. He wanted to go in there and stop her but he knew that he couldn’t do that it had to be her decision.
Hannah sat with a clipboard filling out several papers, she glance up at the other young woman in the room and wondered if she were there for the same reason. The girl that looked about her age smiled at her. Hannah gave her a quick smile back then went back to writing.
“Hi.”
Hannah looked up again; the girl had moved and was now sitting next to her. “Hello.”
“I’m Sally,” the girl offered.
Hannah sighed she put her pen down. “Hannah.”
“Nice to meet you.” Sally bubbled sticking out her hand.
Hannah shook the offered hand. “Nice to meet you too.” She went back to writing.
“Are you here for a check up?” Sally asked.
“Not exactly,” Hannah said trying to finish the form.
“This is my first one, I’m so excited.”
“Listen Sally…” Hannah began.
“When are you due?”
Hannah didn’t know how to answer her, how could she tell this girl that she was there to have an abortion. “I need to finish these forms before I see the doctor.”
“Oh sure, I’m sorry.” Sally said but she didn’t stop talking. “I hope I have a boy. My boy friend took off when he found out that I was pregnant but that’s okay my mama said she would help me out.”
Once again Hannah put down her pen. “If you don’t mind me asking how old are you?”
“Fifteen,” She said proudly.
Hannah was more than shocked Sally looked so much older than fifteen. “Are you going to keep the baby?”
The girl looked at Hannah dumbfounded, “Of course, I wouldn’t give my baby up for anything.”
“Hannah Starsky?” the nurse behind the desk called. “We are ready for you.”
“Well good luck Sally.”
“Same to you Hannah, I bet you will make a great mom.”
Hannah followed the nurse down to a room where she was handed a white gown and told to get undress. After the nurse left Hannah looked around the room it was as white and sterile as the gown she held in her hand. She closed her eyes and thought of the young girl she had met in the waiting room. If she at fifteen to do this then so could Hannah she tossed the gown on the table and went back out into the waiting room.
The girl was gone, Hannah had wanted to thank her, she went to the nurse at the desk, “Miss Starsky why aren’t you changed the doctor will see you any moment.”
“I have changed my mind.” Hannah said, then looked back at the waiting room. “The girl that was waiting with me is she seeing the doctor?”
“What girl?”
“Her name was Sally.”
“I’m sorry Miss Starsky but you are the first patient of the day. We try to schedule our patients so that they don’t have to wait with each other for reasons I’m sure you can understand.”
“B-but I don’t understand she was sitting right over there talking with me.” Hannah said looking confused.
The nurse shook her head, “I’m sorry you have been the only person here this morning.” The nurse tipped the sign in sheet; Hannah’s name was the only one on it.



                                                                                          ~CHAPTER NINE~


Hutch pulled up behind Starsky’s car just as Hannah came out of the clinic. Starsky was sitting with his head back against the seat, his eyes closed. Hutch leaned in the passenger’s side window, “Hey buddy, Hannah just came out.”
Starsky opened his eyes glancing up the street. “What time is it?”
“Little after nine why?”
“She sure wasn’t in there very long.”
“You think that is a good sign? Maybe she couldn’t do it when it came right down too it.”
“We can hope,” Starsky said getting out of the car. He wasn’t sure what to do, should he go to her or just go home and wait for her there.
Hannah stood on the sidewalk; she took a deep breath turning her face to the sky allowing the sun to shine on her face. For the first time since Brad had been killed she felt alive, felt as if she had a purpose again. She wondered who Sally was, an angel? Hannah smiled to herself and shook her head, it didn’t matter whom the girl had been she had saved Hannah and the baby.
As she started across the street she noticed both her father and Hutch standing on the sidewalk looking her direction. Hannah changed course and headed down the street toward them. As she approached she called, “What are the two of you doing here?”
“Looking after you what else?” Hutch said.
Starsky looked at Hannah the one question he wanted to know written on his face. “No Daddy I didn’t do it. There was this…” Hannah stopped how was she going to explain what happened so she simply said again. “I didn’t do it.”
Starsky grabbed his daughter hugging her tightly, “Thank God.”
Hannah looked skyward again and smiled, thank god indeed.

Since Hannah was going home with her dad, Hutch decided to go home and get some sleep it have been several nights since he had slept well as he had been sleeping in the chair at Starsky’s apartment afraid to leave Starsky or Hannah. He still felt that Hannah needed some counseling, Starsky too for that matter but as he lay down to sleep he thought ‘one day at time’.
It seemed like he had only closed his eyes when there was banging on his front door. Hutch groaned and rolled over to look at the clock it said ten o’clock. “Damn,” he muttered he had just gotten into bed. He stumbled to the door and jerked it open, it if was somebody selling something they were going to get an ear full. But it was Linda standing there worry etched across her face, Hutch was shocked to see that it was dark out side. Then he realized it was ten at night not the morning he had been asleep twelve hours.
“Hutch are you alright?” Linda said brushing past him into the apartment. “I have been trying to call you all day long.”
He looked at her sheepishly, “I took the phone off the hook when I went to bed.”
She flopped down on the couch. “I have been so worried but it’s been nuts down at the station and I couldn’t get out here.”
“I’m alright,” Hutch said trying to ease the look of worry still on her face. “I was just beat. Hannah didn’t have the abortion.”
“I know I called Starsky, he told me and that you were going home to bed. But I sure didn’t expect you to sleep this long you were due into work two hours ago.”
Hutch slapped his hand to his forehead, “Shit, I can’t get use to nights.” He took off toward the bathroom then stopped I had better call Dobey and let him know I’ll be there.”
“Don’t bother you got tonight off and the few days, how does a long weekend someplace sound?” Linda asked him grinning.
“Uh? What are you talking about?”
“Starsky called Dobey told him everything. I guess Dobey thought you could use a few days rest before you end up in the same place as your partner.”
Hutch sat down the couch next to Linda. “I could use some rest but I can’t go out of town, somebody has to be here to keep an eye on Hannah and Starsky. I don’t think she is ready to be there for him yet.”
“Thought of that already,” Linda said. “I thought maybe all of us could go someplace.”
“Just no woods,” Hutch grinned at her.
Linda laughed she knew all the stories. “I wouldn’t send him over the edge like that.”

Linda had taken the liberty of renting them a beach house in Carmel for the weekend hoping that they would take her up on her offer to get away. Hannah’s face lit up like a little girl when Linda asked if they would like to go. Starsky wasn’t as excited but getting away did sound good and it wasn’t any where near the woods.
They had just finished putting the last of their stuff in Linda’s Jeep when the phone rang in Starsky’s apartment. He headed back to answer the phone and shut the door, “Come on Daddy,” Hannah called anxious to get to the beach. That was one of her favorite things about California and even though she had seen it hundreds of times now she never got over the feeling of it’s vastness. Starsky shrugged pulled the apartment door shut and went to join the crew in the jeep.
In the apartment the answering machine pick up the phone. After the greeting a woman’s voice said, “David this is Margie Steinberg your mother’s friend in New York? You need to call St. Vincent’s you mother was mugged last night.”
Margie Steinberg hung up the phone hoping that Helen’s son would get the message before it was too late. Poor Helen had been beaten almost senseless right on her very own doorstep. They had taken her wallet, which had contained a whole two dollars leaving Helen Starsky to bleed to death on the sidewalk. It had been Margie herself who had found her best friend lying there in a pool of blood. They were planning on going to a movie that evening. Margie had rushed back to her apartment to call the police.
It had been morning before Margie had gone back to Helen’s apartment to get her address book and phoned her only remaining son. Margie sighed as she looked out the window of St. Vincent’s from Helen’s room. She had known Davy since he was a baby had watched him and his brother grow up. She had watched Helen’s sorrow as she had lost first her husband, then her oldest son to California now her youngest had just died and it looked as though she might follow. Poor poor Davy would be alone if Helen didn’t pull through.

Hannah sat in the surf letting the water splash over her, Hutch and Linda were heading down the beach hand in hand as Starsky sat on the deck of the beach house and watched. He didn’t know if it was the medication that the doctor had put him on or just getting away that was making him feel better. Suddenly he stood up stripped off his t-shirt and ran out to join Hannah in the water. They laughed and splashed around until the sun was starting to set, Hutch and Linda were just returning from their walk. She had her head on his shoulder as they were coming back.
Starsky and Hannah looked at each other and grinned. They both loved Linda and thought she was very good for Hutch; it was wonderful to see they had solved whatever problem they had. “You guys ready for dinner?” Starsky called, as they got closer.
“You bet buddy,” Hutch called as he kiss Linda on the head then he took off running toward Starsky making Linda chase him.

It was late Sunday night when Starsky and Hannah tired but happy fell into bed. It was six a.m. the next morning that they were awaken by the phone ringing. Starsky was sleeping on the couch allowing Hannah to have the bed. They had discussed in great length about finding either a small house or a large apartment to move into so that they would be more comfortable and have room when the baby was born. Hannah had beed sad thinking that she should have been talking about this with Brad not her father. But she wouldn’t allow herself to dwell on it as she knew it wasn’t good for the baby and she felt that she owed Brad a healthy baby.
“Hello?” Starsky said into the phone still half asleep.
“Oh David,” came a tearful voice on the other end.
Starsky sat up alarmed, “Who is this?”
“Margie Steinberg, haven’t you received any of your messages?” Margie had separately left messages as Helen worsen and finally fell in to a coma.
“No, I have been out of town.” Starsky leaned over to check out his answering machine, the red light flashed at least a dozen times announcing the numerous calls he had. They had been so tired when they came in last night that he hadn’t even checked for messages. “What’s wrong where is ma?” He knew that would be the only reason that Margie would be calling him. He remember her clearly from this childhood, she would invite him and Nicky to her apartment feeding them bagels and lox’s also other dishes she would cook up. Margie loved to cook but she and Mr. Steinberg never had any children so she settled for making stuff for the neighborhood kids.
“Davy,” she said going back to calling him what she had when he was a child. “Your mother was mugged Thursday.”
“Dear God I told her that was going to happen if she didn’t move away from there. I tried to get her out here but she just refused…”
Margie interrupted his rant. “Davy, I’m sorry to have to tell you this but Helen didn’t make it, she died about four hours ago.”



                                                                                     ~CHAPTER TEN~


A loud thud woke Hannah from her sleep, “Daddy,” she called out, getting no answer she got up and padded toward into the living room. She found Starsky on his knees between the couch and the coffee table the phone laying on the floor. “Daddy?” She said again as she picked up the phone. “Hello?”
“Hello…hello…”
“This is Hannah Starsky who is this?”
“Margie Steinberg, are you Davy’s daughter?” Margie asked. Helen had been so proud when she had told Margie about her granddaughter.
“Yes ma’am.” Hannah said distracted as she was trying to see to her father who had his eyes closed as he rocked back and forth. “What has happened?”
“Honey I’m sorry to tell you this but your grandmother passed away this morning.”
“What?” Hannah said shocked.
“She was mugged several days ago and beaten very badly. I’m sorry dear.” Margie said as tears welled up in her eyes.
“Dear God,” she looked down at Starsky. “Thank you for calling Mrs. Steinberg. I’ll get back with you.”
Hannah hung up the phone then sat down on the couch next to her father she put her hand on his head, “Daddy talk to me…please.”
“I should have made her come home with us,” He finally said so softly she could scarcely hear him. Then a sob racked his whole body, Hannah pulled his head to her lap and she laid her head on his, they both cried, he for the mother he had lost and Hannah for the grandmother she has lost before she even got to know her.
“You tried Daddy, she didn’t want to,” Hannah said gently not lifting her head from his. They sat for a long time not saying anything then finally she broke the silence. “I think I should call Uncle Hutch and let him know.”
Starsky raised his head from her lap and looked into his daughters tear stained face, “No.”
“But Daddy he should know.”
Starsky shook his head, “He will only come over and start hovering around like a mother hen I just can’t take that right now.”
Hannah narrowed her eyes as she looked at the devastated look on her father’s face she didn’t like what she saw there. He looked totally lost and had a look of desperation that scared her. “Alright,” She agreed but mentally crossed her fingers the minute she could call Hutch with out him seeing her she would. “Why don’t you go and lay down in the bedroom for a while?”
Starsky shook his head no, he didn’t want to move, he didn’t want to do anything any more but crawl in a hole and pull it in after him. He couldn’t believe he had let this happen. If she wouldn’t come home with him then he should have stayed in New York, she was his mother and he was only living child, it was his job to take care of her. Instead he came back to his comfortable life leaving her to live in a neighborhood that he knew was unsafe not matter what she claimed.
“At least lay up here on the couch,” Hannah said sliding over and pretty much forcing him to get up on the couch with her. He put his head back her lap, “It’s going to be okay,” she soothed.
Seems like those words had been said often in the last several weeks. First Nick then Brad now Helen Starsky, what more could go wrong. Hannah felt as if she were stuck in a bad soap opera. After a while Starsky’s muffled sobs stopped, he had fallen asleep, Hannah gently slid out from under her fathers head replacing herself with a pillow. She glanced over her shoulder to make sure she hadn’t woke him. Satisfied that he was still sleeping she grabbed her purse and went into the bath room where she pulled out her cell phone and dialed Hutch’s number. There was no answer so she instantly dialed Linda’s number after three rings a sleepy sounding Linda answered the phone. “I need Uncle Hutch.”
Linda nudged Hutch awake, “It’s Hannah,” she said, “Sounds like something might be wrong.”
Hutch sat up grabbing the phone. “What’s wrong Hannah?”
“You got to come over here,” Hannah sounded desperate. “We got a call awhile ago, Mrs…my grandma died this morning.”
For moment the word ‘grandma’ didn’t register with Hutch. Then his eyes closed as he realized who she was talking about and he got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, this was the last thing on earth that Starsky needed right now. This could send him over the edge. “I’ll be right there darlin’”
“Uncle Hutch?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t let him know I called uh? He made me promise not to call you.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know but I don’t like the way he looks. Maybe we should call his doctor.” She suggested. “Or even have him put in the hospital.”
“That bad.”
“Worse.”
“I’m on my way.”
The moment Hutch hung up the phone Linda wanted to know what was going on. “Starsky’s mother died.”
“Shit,” Linda said knowing what this could mean for Starsky. “How?”
“I didn’t even ask, I guess I’ll find out when I get there,” Hutch said as he jumped out of bed and began pulling his clothes on. He turned and looked at Linda, “Come with me.”
She smiled at him and got up to get dress also. Hutch figured that he was going to need all the help he could get. Although Hannah sounded fine the death of her grandmother so close on the heels Brad couldn’t be good for her either.
When Linda and Hutch arrived at Starsky’s apartment he was still sleeping on the couch. They had a carrier of coffee and a big bag of donuts from Starsky’s favorite shop. Hutch stood over his best friend looking down at his sleeping form, then he sat down in the chair next to the couch to wait.
Linda took Hannah into the kitchen, “Are you alright?”
Hannah dissolved into tears as Linda took her into her arms. “I don’t know how much more I can take.”
“You just need to think about your baby Hannah, concentrate on that.” Linda said into Hannah’s hair.
“What if something happens to this baby?” she wanted to know.
“Nothing is going to happen to the baby,” Linda said hoping that she was right; it was still early in the pregnancy anything could happen especially with all the stress Hannah was under.
There was blood running in Helen Starsky’s eyes as she tried to sit up, the whole side of her head was caved in, her eyes were vacant as she reached out toward her son. “Davy, Davy where are you,” she called.
Starsky yelled and sat bolt up right on the couch. “I’m coming Ma, I’m coming,” He yelled still half asleep.
He started to get up but Hutch stopped him. “Starsky wake up you are having a nightmare.”
Starsky opened his eyes and looked at Hutch then he closed them again as the image of his mother floated in front of them. “She’s dead Hutch, she’s dead.”
“I know buddy,” Hutch said. “We’ll get through this together.”
“Is everything alright?” Hannah asked as the two women came rushing in from the kitchen.
“He just had a nightmare,” Hutch reassured them.
Hannah sat down next to her father; he put his head in his hands. “I have to go back to New York.”
“We’ll go with you, you don’t have to do this alone.” Hutch said putting his hand on his partner’s knee.
“Don’t touch me or you will end up dead too,” Starsky murmured.
“Don’t be silly,” Hannah said hugging him.
“Get away,” Starsky snapped at her. “I don’t want to be looking down at your grave. Everybody I love dies.”
Hannah recoiled at his words, stunned by what he was saying. “Daddy you don’t really believe that do you?”
He looked at her a frightening grin spreading across his face. “Yes I do, look at my track record, everybody that I have loved has died, Terri, Nick, Ma.”
“But I’m still here,” Hutch said wondering if Hannah was right maybe they should have him committed but if it was found out at the station it could put a black mark on his record. He wouldn’t lose his job but he could lose his weapon and be forced into a desk job.
“It’s just a matter of time.” Starsky said matter-of-factly.
“Oh come on Starsk you don’t believe that,” Hutch was beginning to get angry.
“Don’t I?” Starsky growled, “Why don’t you all just get out before it’s too late?”
The tears that were standing in Hannah’s eyes coursed down her face. “Daddy you can’t mean that?”
“I don’t want you here anymore, do you hear me? You go back and live with Linda where you will be safe.” Starsky got to his feet. “Get out of here all of you.” Starsky yelled as he went into the bedroom slamming the door.
For a few seconds they stood there looking at the closed bedroom door in shock. “His medication…” Hutch began.
Hannah shook her head, “I have it.”
“Is there anything else in there?” Hutch asked, without saying it they all knew what he meant. Was there anything that Starsky could get his hands on that he could use to kill himself with?
“You took his gun a while back,” Hannah answered worriedly. “But if he really wants to there is always away.”


                                                                                  ~CHAPTER ELEVEN~


Starsky lay in the dim light in his room wishing he were dead, how much more was he supposed to take? How many more people were going to die because of him? And it wasn’t just those close to him fellow officers had also been killed when a mad man was trying to get at him. Now there was Hannah he had to worry about, she had almost been killed trying to save him from a hit it was only a matter of time before she was dead too. Maybe if he had been more understanding with Hannah and Brad, Brad would have still been alive. Brad and Hannah wouldn’t have been meeting on that rainy night if it weren’t for him.
There was a soft knock on the door; Starsky closed his eyes pretending he was asleep. He heard the door open and footsteps came to stand next to his bedside, and then he felt someone sit down next to him. A cool hand touch his forehead, he could hear the worry in his daughters voice as she spoke to him. “Daddy please don’t push us away. You need us and we need you.”
Starsky didn’t respond, he didn’t feel like getting into a conversation, he just wanted to be left alone he didn’t want any more people he love to die.
Hannah sat there for a while longer looking at her father wishing that he would talk to her. Then she got up and went back into the living room where Hutch and Linda were waiting. She shook her head as she entered the room, “He won’t talk. He has his eyes closed but I know he’s not asleep.”
“I think he needs to go to the hospital,” Linda said.
Hutch shook his head, “If this gets out it will destroy his career.”
“If he doesn’t get help it might destroy his life,” Linda said strongly. “Does Dobey know?”
Hutch shook his head. “I have just went in and put Starsky in for a leave of absence because of what has been going on with his family. Dobey didn’t even question me but things have got to get straighten out soon or all of us are going to lose our jobs.”
“What are we going to do?” Hannah asked tearfully, they were stuck if word got out about her father his career was over which would destroy him and if he didn’t get help the consequences could be even worse.

“First things first, we need him together enough so that he can go to New York to take care of his mothers affairs.” Hutch said. Hutch got up going to the bedroom door he went in with out knocking. “Starsky you need to get up, we have to get to New York you have to take care of your mothers affairs.”
Starsky didn’t move, didn’t open his eyes.
Hutch bumped the end of the bed, “Get up now.” Hutch took a deep breath speaking to his partner this way was killing him. All he wanted to do with to take him in his arms and tell him it would be all right. Tough love he thought to himself as he bumped the bed again then reached over and pulled the covers off his partner.
Starsky eyes flew open and he grabbed for the sheet, “Get out of here Hutch,” He warned.
“You have to go to New York there isn’t anybody else to take care of it.”
“Who cares?”
“You do, or you will when you are thinking clearly. Or if you can’t do it for yourself then do it for Hannah.”
“Just leave me alone,” Starsky pleaded. Hutch could hear the fear in his voice. Starsky truly believe that they would die just being around him.
“I’m not leaving you alone! Get up now get packed. I’m going to book us a flight on the next plane out of here.” Hutch said then turned on his heels and left the room shutting the door.
“Get packed Hannah we are leaving.” Hutch said, “I’m going to call the airline then I’m going to go home and pack.”
Linda stood up, “I’m going with you to New York.”
“Are you sure?” Hutch asked. “It’s going to be tough.”
“I’m use to tough,” Linda said as he kissed him. “I’ll be back as quick as I can.”
After Linda left Hannah told Hutch, “You had better hang on to her she is one in a million.”
“I know,” Hutch said as he picked up the phone to call the airline.
An hour later both Hutch and Linda were back carrying small suitcases. Hannah already had hers sitting by the door. “Anything?” Hutch asked cocking his head toward Starsky’s bedroom.
“I heard the shower running and some movement but I thought it best if I just let him be.” Hannah answered.
Hutch nodded in agreement, “He needs to get moving now though we have to be at the airport in a hour.”
Before anyone could check on him Starsky opened the bedroom door. He had a suitcase in his hand, was showered and dressed; he even seemed calmer than he had earlier. “You all are going?”
“Yes we are.” Hannah said wondering if he was going to go into a tirade but instead he just nodded.

~New York~

The cab dropped the foursome off in front of Helen Starsky’s flat. Margie Steinberg was sitting on the top step looking a bit lost. She wasn’t surprised to see David Starsky get out of the cab, she stood and walked down a couple of the steps to meet him as he came up. She held out her arms to him, suddenly he was ten years old as he allowed her to take him into her arms. “Poor boy,” Margie cooed. Hannah, Hutch and Linda stood awkwardly on the sidewalk watching the pair. Finally Margie broke the embrace and looked at Davy, then she handed him the key to the apartment. “Go on in there is plenty of food. You get settled tonight everything else can wait until tomorrow.” She patted him on the back with one wrinkled hand. “You know where I am if you need me.”
Margie smiled at the trio still on the sidewalk luggage at their feet. “Thank you Mrs. Steinberg.” Hannah said as the old woman walked by.
Margie stopped and took Hannah’s hands in her own. “I’m so sorry child you didn’t even get to know your grandmother. She was a wonderful woman.”
Tears pricked the corners of Hannah’s eyes. “You’ll have to tell me about her.” Margie nodded then we back to her own apartment.
Starsky stood at the door key in hand, he didn’t want to unlock the door, with the turn of the key it would make it all real. Hutch started to go up the stairs but Linda grabbed his arm holding him back. They waited for at least ten minutes before Starsky finally inserted the key and opened the door.
Hutch gathered the luggage and followed the women up the stairs. They found Starsky standing in the living room looking around; it still looked the same as it had when they had been there a few weeks before. The only thing that was missing was Helen Starsky.
Hannah walked over and picked up the photo of her dad and his brother, the same one that she had picked up before. She held it to her chest as she looked around the room wondering what her father was going to do with all the photos.
Hutch walked over to his partner, “You okay?”
“Yeah,” Starsky said. “Everything is going to be fine.” He had made a decision while he had been at home the water from the shower beating down on his head. He knew how he could make everything right. “Bedrooms are up stairs.”
He took his suitcase from Hutch and headed up stairs, Starsky opened the bedroom door of his brother’s room and the guest room. His mother’s bedroom he left closed then he opened the last door, his room, looking much like he had left it. He dropped his suitcase on the floor and sat down on his bed looking round the room. The baseball he had caught at a Yankee’s game was still sitting on his bookshelf, all his books were still there. A poster of his favorite player hung on the wall but it was yellowed with age. A dusty airplane hung from the ceiling.
He stretched out on his bed still looking around the room; he reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out a pill bottle. During the plane ride he had snuck his prescription out of Hannah’s purse. Since he wasn’t due for a dose until the next morning he was hoping that she wouldn’t miss it, by then it would be too late.



                                                                                 ~CHAPTER TWELVE~



It was nearing midnight by the time they were all settled in. Hutch and Linda took the guest room since it had the bigger bed leaving Hannah with Nick’s old room. Hutch tapped softly on Starsky’s door then opened it; his suitcase was sitting near the bed where he had dropped it. Starsky was lying on top of the bedspread he appeared to be asleep. Hutch walked over to the bed where there was a blanket on the end, he started to reach for it planning on covering up his sleeping partner when he saw a pill bottle sitting on the bedside table. Hutch grabbed the bottle, it was empty, the lid off. He flipped on the light; he stared at the bottle in horror as he realized it was Starsky’s prescription for his depression. “Starsky?” Hutch yelled as he dropped the bottle and shook his partner. Starsky’s arms flopped limply at his sides, Hutch could see that his chest was still rising and falling but they were shallow breaths. He looked wildly around the room for a phone but there wasn’t one. He went to the door and yelled down the hall, “HANNAH!”
Hannah was in the process of putting on her nightgown then she had planned on checking on her father herself when she heard Hutch yelling. She knew that something was very wrong by the sound of his voice. She dashed out in the hall almost running into Linda who had also heard the shout. “What’s wrong?”
“Call 911,” Hutch ordered as he went back to his partner’s side.
Hannah careened into the room almost falling as she slipped on a rug over the hardwood floor. “Daddy!” She cried, she could tell he was unconscious. “What happened?”
“Go call 911,” Hutch roared at her.
But Hannah wasn’t listening as she went to her father’s bedside. Linda peeked in the door, “I’ll do it.” She said as she went to find the phone.
Hutch handed Hannah the pill bottle, “How did he get this?”
Hannah snatched the bottle, and stared at it. “I don’t know it was in my purse.”
“They are on their way,” Linda said appearing in the doorway.
Clutching the bottle Hannah knelt next to Starsky, she buried her head in his chest sobbing, “Is it really that awful? How can you leave me alone?”
Linda came across the room, “Come on honey let’s go down stairs and wait for the life squad.”
Reluctantly Hannah got to her feet to go with Linda, “Hang on to that bottle and get it to the EMT guys.”
After the two women had gone, Hutch leaned over his partner again. “Come on buddy stay with us.” He wondered how long ago that Starsky had taken the pills; they had been there a good five hours. Damn it where are they? Hutch thought to himself. He was about to shout down and tell them to call again when he heard a siren in the distance.
Two men in uniform came up two steps at a time, one had the pill bottle in his had the other was carrying a large box of supplies. “How long has he been out?” the first man through the door asked.
“I’m not sure,” Hutch answered. “He came up here to lay down about five hours ago.”
The second man said as he was taking Starsky pulse, “He hasn’t taken them that long ago or he would be dead. Probably an hour ago or less, you think Cal?”
The other man nodded. “How’s his pulse?”
“Thready,” came the reply. “Better get him loaded up.”
“Where are you taking him?” Hutch inquired.
“St. Vincent’s.”
“Could you give me directions?”
“I take it you aren’t from around here?”
Hutch shook his head, “We all just came in from Los Angeles. His mother died this morning we are here to make the arrangements.”
“Why wasn’t somebody watching him more closely,” one of the EMT’s wanted to know. “He’s on medication for depression, didn’t it occur to any of you this might throw him for a loop?”
“He some how got his medication from his daughter, we aren’t sure how.” Hutch said feeling guilty that he hadn’t check on him earlier.
The EMT shook his head, “Let’s get him to the hospital and hope it’s not too late.”
Hutch took looking after the two men stunned.

It was nearly seven a.m. when the doctor finally came looking for Starsky’s family. Hannah had finally lain down on the instance of Linda; she was not only worried about Hannah but the baby also. Hutch was on his tenth cup of bad coffee from the machine out in the hall. “Are you waiting for word on Mr. Starsky?” the man dressed in a while lab coat asked.
Hutch tossed his unfinished cup of coffee in the trash can, “Yes, I’m Ken Hutchinson, his daughter Hannah and our friend Linda.”
The doctor nodded at them. “You found your friend just in time Mr. Hutchinson much longer and we wouldn’t have been able to bring him back. I understand that you are from out of town.” Hutch nodded. “Mr. Starsky needs to be hospitalized, he needs some treatment more that just what the medication is offering. I understand he had a set back?”
“Yes we are from LA,” Hutch answered. “He just lost his mother yesterday morning. He was put on the medication after the death of his brother a few weeks ago. He was responding to it, we thought he was doing well until the news yesterday.”
“He has had a tremendous shock to his system, he is going to need therapy, medications, around the clock care.” The doctor told them. “I can call his doctor in LA, he can make the arrangements for Mr. Starsky to be hospitalized there.”
Hutch felt as if he couldn’t breath, everything was happening too fast, they were there to bury Starsky’s mother not put him in the hospital. His mind was whirling, if this got out at home it would ruin Starsky. “Can’t you put him in the hospital here?”
“What?” Hannah said getting off the couch. “You can’t do that.” She looked at the doctor, “How long are we talking?”
The doctor shook his head, “I really don’t know miss, depends on how fast he responds to treatment. He had to have felt pretty hopeless to try and kill himself. It will be at least sixty days that is how long we are required to commit someone who has attempted suicide.”
“B-but it was just an accident, I usually give him his medication he didn’t realize how much he took.” Hannah said sounding a little hysterical.
Hutch walked over to her and put both his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes, “No Hannah this wasn’t an accident, he took that whole bottle.”
“NO, NO,” Hannah tried to push away from Hutch but he help her tightly.
“Hannah listen to me, this is the best thing for him. He needs help, help that we just aren’t able to give him.” Hutch said feeling as if he had failed his partner. He should have called Starsky’s doctor and taken him in the moment that they had found out his mother died.
“But why here?” Hannah wailed tears running down her face.
“I think it would just be better that way, I don’t think he is in any shape to be moved.” Hutch suggested as he looked at the doctor hoping he would back him up.
The doctor took the cue, he wasn’t sure why Mr. Hutchinson wanted his friend hospitalized there but he would back him up just to get Mr. Starsky the help he needed. “He’s right Miss, it would be better for your father at least for now.”
Linda came over and put her arm around Hannah, “Come on honey sit down.”
Hannah allowed Linda to lead her over to the couch. “W-When can I see him?”
“I think in about an hour. He should be ready for visitors by then. He has had a pretty rough time of it.” The doctor said, then to Hutch, “If you will come with me we will get the paper work started.”

When Starsky awoke he was disoriented but the sound of the beeping near his head was unmistakable he had heard it too many times, he was in a hospital. They must have found him in time or there weren’t enough pills in the bottle to do the job. He rose up and looked at the IV that was going into his arm wondering what they were pumping him full of this time. He didn’t want to feel better he wanted to die. Why couldn’t they understand that, they would all be better off with out him? Starsky tried to reach over, his intent was to pull out the IV but he found that both of his wrists were bound to the bed. He twisted around so that he could see the window through the sheer curtains he could tell there were bars on the out side…he was in the nut ward of the hospital.
He heard the room door open but he didn’t acknowledge that any one was there. He figured it was either Hutch or Hannah neither of which he wanted to talk to, he didn’t need to feel any guiltier that he already did.
He felt a cool hand on his arm then the soft sound of his daughter’s voice. “Daddy?” Slowly he turned his head to look at her, he was shocked to see how awful she looked, and her eyes were red rimmed from crying and tired looking. Her clothes were wrinkled from lying on the couch. “Daddy please talk to me.”
“What do you want me to say?” he croaked out.
“I want to know why you are so bound and determined to leave me all alone? I need you, if you die I have nobody.”
“You have Hutch, he is better than I am.”
“No, no,” Hannah put her head to his chest her tears soaking into the white sheet that covered him. “All I want is you, we haven’t had enough time. I want you to be there for your grand baby, it’s bad enough that she won’t have a father but no grand father either. Just how do I explain all of that to a child?”
“Tell them to untie me,” Starsky asked.
“I won’t do that. I’m not going to let you kill yourself.”


                                                                               ~CHAPTER THIRTEEN~


Hutch, Linda and Hannah stood looking at the fresh grave of Helen Starsky she was lay to rest between her husband and youngest son. Hutch had made all the arrangements, Starsky hadn’t been in any shape to attended but Hannah left his side long enough to bury a grandmother she barely knew. Hannah would have spent day and night at her father’s bedside if she had been allowed too. But the doctors said that wouldn’t do him any good nor her either. Starsky sacredly acknowledged people as they came and went.
Hutch put his hand on Hannah arm, “Honey we are going to have to go back home. I’ll figure out something to tell Dobey.”
Hannah shook her head, “I’m going to stay here, I have already decided I’m going to ask for a years leave of absent if I can’t get it then I will just quit. I’m not leaving Daddy here alone.”
“Where are you going to live?” Linda wanted to know.
“I’ll stay at grandmothers, after all it’s daddy’s now.” Hannah said, she had spent long hours laying awake at night thinking.
“Starsky will have a fit after what happened to Helen.” Hutch told her.
“He’s not even talking so I really don’t think he is going have much to say,” Hannah snapped. “I’m a big girl I think I can take care of myself.”
“I know you can take care of your self honey but with the baby coming…”
Hannah sighed, “There are a lot of other women out there that have had babies all by themselves I think I can manage.”
Hutch looked at her exasperated then turned to Linda, “Will you talk some sense into her?”
“She’s right Hutch, even if you don’t want to believe, she’s all grown up and can make her own decisions.” Linda smiled at Hannah. “You know where I am if you need me. Hopefully you will be home before the baby comes.”
“I hope so,” Hannah answered. The thought of being in New York terrified her but she refused to leave Starsky there alone. When he came out of it she wanted to be there for him, he would need her then.

An hour before they had to leave for the airport Hutch and Linda went with Hannah to tell Starsky good-bye and to let him know that everything would be taken care of at home. But when they got there they were told that Mr. Starsky wasn’t seeing any visitors.
“What do you mean he’s not seeing visitors?” Hutch boomed at the nurse.
“I’m sorry Mr. Hutchinson,” the nurse said. “He asked not to be bother.”
“B-But I’m his daughter,” Hannah stammered close to tears.
“I’m sorry honey but we have to respect his wishes.” The nurse said gently to her. “You should call before you come from now on, then you won’t have to come down here for nothing if he won’t see you.”
Won’t see you, those words echoed in Hannah’s head as she drove them to the airport in the rental car she had gotten herself until she was able to find a car. She wondered why she was even bothering to stay. Her father didn’t want her there that was clear but she couldn’t… no she wouldn’t give up on him. She would be there no matter how long it took; he was all she had left.

~LA~

Hutch stood before his captain who was talking on the phone, when he hung up he turned his attention to his detective standing before him. “Welcome back Hutchinson. Where is Starsky?”
Hutch cleared his throat, “He’s still in New York. He wants me to put in a request for a years leave of absents, Starsky is planning on staying there for a while to get his mothers affairs in order. With all the tragedies of the past few weeks he needs some time. Hannah has already put in for one, she is planning on staying there with him.” Hutch hated lying to Dobey, sure he and Starsky would stretch the truth when need be but to out and out lie to his captain wasn’t sitting well with him. He knew that Dobey would understand about the whole situation but he didn’t want to put him in the position of having to lie for them.
Dobey narrowed his eyes and looked at Hutch, he knew that something was going on, it had been for months now. Starsky had not been him self for a long time. “All right Hutchinson, I’ll grant his request but a year from today he had better be standing in my office.
Hutch went back out into the squad room, a year, what was he suppose to do for a year without his partner, his best friend? He sat down at his desk and looked at the mound of paper work that had piled up.
“You okay?”
Hutch looked up to see Linda standing next to him. “Yeah I guess so.”
“Missing Starsky?”
“Am I that easy to read?”
“You are,” Linda replied. “They will be back you know.”
“I sure hope so,” Hutch said, he wasn’t so sure. What if Starsky never came out of it what if he ended up being hospitalized the rest of his life.
“Want to come over to my place for dinner tonight?” Linda offered.
“I can’t promise I’m going to be good company.” Hutch said giving her a tentative smile.
“That’s okay, what are friends for?” Linda said ruffling his hair before she left the squad room.

~NEW YORK~

Starsky lay in his hospital room looking out the barred windows; at least they had finally untied his hands and taken out the IV with the understanding that he ate what was put in front of him. If not the IV would go back in, so he ate with out taste or joy, they could have put paste in front of him and he would have never known. The doctors had started his therapy; he had two sessions with two different doctors every day. He would respond in a lack luster way to all their questions hoping they would finally give up on him and leave him a peace.
He was told daily that his daughter had either phoned or come by. The nurse always told him with a hopeful tone in her voice. But he still refused to see Hannah, although in the back of his mind he wondered what he would do the when the nurse stopped telling him that Hannah wanted to see him. When Hannah finally gave up on him and went on with her own life. If he were aware of the passage of time he would have known that Hannah was there far longer than she should have been, but one day melded into another until he had no concept of time or day.
As the days passed into weeks and the weeks into months Hannah never gave up. She found her self a part time job at a little coffee shop not too far from her grandmother’s apartment. Margie Steinberg had taken it upon herself to make sure that Helen’s granddaughter was well taken care of. When Hannah would come home there would be a pie or a loaf of homemade bread in the doorway. And Margie made sure that Hannah knew all about her grandmother, they would sit up late into the evening as Margie entertained Hannah with stories of the Starsky family. They dug out the family photo albums and spent hours going through them.
Hannah talked to Hutch weekly but he hadn’t been able to get away but she assured him that she was doing fine and she would call if she needed anything. She would also talk to Linda, whom she would tell her fears to as the time drew closer to her delivery date. Linda has promised if they weren’t back by then that she would fly to New York to be with Hannah when the time came. The baby was due the second week of December and Hannah was now six months along, she had now been in New York five long months. Not one time had her father allowed her to see him. Hannah would send him things, books, flowers, magazines but the one thing that she sent him that rocked Starsky to the core was a photo of herself that she had gotten Margie to take.

“Good Morning Dave,” Allison, his day nurse said as she came into the room. She opened the curtains letting the September sun rise in. “How are you doing today?”
Starsky smiled at her, “Okay for first thing in the morning I guess.” He actually was starting to feel better, the load lightening from his shoulders a bit. Now the only thing that was keeping him from allowing Hannah to visit was fear. He knew that she still either called or came by daily but what if she was angry with him now, only doing it because she felt she had too? He wondered about Hutch and what he was doing.
“Your daughter left something for you last night.” Allison said as she dug around in her pocket. She pulled out a white envelope and handed it to Starsky.
He took it, something that Allison saw as progress it had taken weeks before he would take anything that was left for him. She would have to put it on the table and he would in his own time look at it. Sometimes several things would pile up before he would look at them.
Starsky slowly opened the flap of the envelope and pulled at the photo that Hannah had placed in side. His mouth fell open as he looked at his six-month pregnant daughter. For the first time he realized just how long he had been there, tears filled his eyes as he looked at the photo.
“Are you okay?” Allison asked as she noticed the tears standing in his eyes. He handed her the photo. Allison smiled as she looked at it. “You really have a beautiful daughter.”
“Thank you,” Starsky said in a bare whisper. Then a little louder he asked, “Next time she comes in tell her I want to see her.”
Allison just nodded as she handed the photo back to him but once she left the room a huge smile broke out on her face. David Starsky was on his way back.


                                                                                  ~CHAPTER FOURTEEN~


The morning crowd that just left when a phone call came for Hannah at the coffee shop. Millie who was close to Hannah age and worked the same shift answered the phone then called Hannah.
She rushed to the phone worried that something had happened; she had never gotten a call before. “Yes?”
“Hannah this is Allison Monroe, you fathers nurse.”
“Is daddy okay?”
Allison smiled into the phone, “He is more than okay, he’s asking to see you.”
“REALLY!” Hannah shouted into the phone, several customers looked up from their coffee.
The nurse laughed at Hannah excitement, “Really, that photo of you seem to do the trick honey.”
“I’m on my way.”

Thirty minutes later Hannah was standing in the hall out side her father’s room afraid to go in. It had been so long since she had seen him. She wondered if he looked the same or if he would look sick. Hannah held her breath and pushed open the door, Starsky was asleep but she was relieved to see that he looked exactly the same, maybe a bit thinner. She walked over to the bed and started to touch his hand then thought better of it. Instead she pulled a chair close to the bed and sat down waiting for him to wake up.


~LA~

Hutch lay staring at the ceiling wondering how Starsky and Hannah were. He missed them both terribly but he was trying to hang on until December. Both he and Linda had decided to take a month off and go to New York to be with Hannah they didn’t want her having the baby by herself. It had been clear that she and Starsky wouldn’t be back by then. Once a week Hutch would call the hospital to get an up date on his partners condition, it was always the same…no change.
He had the overwhelming urge to go to New York and try and shake some sense into his friend but every time he felt like that he would remember what Linda had told him shortly after they returned home. They had been sitting on her couch talking about Starsky when she said, “Sometimes when you love someone you have to let them find their own way no matter how much it hurts you.”
So now as Hutch lay in bed he ran her words through his head over and over again. He wondered if he would ever get his partner back. Dobey had questioned him a couple of times about Starsky but never press too hard. Hutch had just dosed back off thinking of Starsky when the phone rang. Hutch jumped startled by the noise then reached for the phone. “Yeah?”
“Uncle Hutch,” Hannah said into her cell phone as she was going to her car, she couldn’t wait to tell him.
“Hannah!” Hutch sat up in bed. “Is everything alright?”
“He wants to see me,” she blurted out.
Hutch swung his legs over the edge of the bed, “Oh Hannah that’s wonderful.”
“The hospital just called and said that he has asked to see me. I’m on my way there now.” Hannah explained.
“I’m coming out.” Hutch said wondering what he would tell Dobey.
“Uncle Hutch could you wait?” Hannah asked, “I don’t want to overwhelm him. Let me talk to him and his doctors.”
The smile that had formed on Hutch’s face slid off but he knew she was right. “Alright Hannah, but you call and let me know how he is after you talk to him.”
“You know I will.”

~NEW YORK~

Starsky stirred then rolled over, he was surprised to see Hannah sitting there. “Hannah.”
“Hi Daddy,” she said but didn’t make a move toward him she remained sitting. “They called and said you wanted to see me.”
“I didn’t mean you had to rush down here.” He said a small forming on his lips.
Hannah shrugged, “I wasn’t doing anything.” Then she smiled at him.
“Well stand up I want to look at you.” Starsky said.
Hannah blushed but stood up to show off her protruding stomach, “I’m huge,” she giggled. “But the doctor assured me that there is only one baby in there.”
Starsky stretched out his arm and put his hand on her stomach about that time the baby kicked. He pulled back his hand startled and looked up at Hannah she smiled. “She’s a kicker.”
“She?” Starsky asked.
Hannah nodded, “I found out a few weeks ago they are pretty sure it’s a girl.”
“My little girl is having a girl.”
“Well I don’t know about being so little,” Hannah joked as she patted her stomach.
Starsky reached for her hand and pulled his daughter closer to him. “Hannah I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you. I know you must have needed me.”
Hannah squeezed his hand, and then over come with emotion she leaned down and hugged him. It took a few moments but his arms came round her holding her tight. Tears ran down her face as she hugged him, she had needed this for so long. It had been hard for her with all that had happened to keep on going but she did it for him, for the baby and especially for her self. “I love you daddy.”
“I love you too sweetheart.” Starsky said releasing her.
Hannah sat back down in the chair but clung to his hand. “Hutch calls all the time. He is so worried about you.”
“I figured old blondie would have given up on me by now,” Starsky said knowing that it couldn’t possibly be true.
“Never,” Hannah said then hesitantly she told him. “I called him on the way here.”
“And he wants to rush right out?”
Hannah nodded, “Of course. He misses you so much. I think he would have stayed here if I would have asked.”
“So when will he be here?”
Hannah laughed, “I asked him not to come, I wanted to talk to you first. This is your first step I didn’t know if you wanted an audience for the second.”
“Hutch is my second step.” Starsky said longing for his friend. He could imagine what Hutch must be going through, he knew how he would feel if the situation was reversed.
“I don’t want you taking on too much Daddy. You don’t need to have a relapse.”
“When is that baby due?” Starsky asked.
“Mid December,” Hannah said.
“That’s my goal then I want to be out of here in time to see my granddaughter born.” Starsky said with a determined look on his face.


                                                                                ~CHAPTER FIFTEEN~


“That’s it dear push,” the nurse encouraged. Hannah her legs up in the stirrups bared down again, groaning with effort. Starsky supported her head with a pillow as Linda grasped her hand lending her strength. Hutch stood near by but out the way a bit uncomfortable at witnessing the birth. He silently wondered what happened to the good old days when the men were left to pace the waiting room floor.
“Come on baby you can do it,” Starsky whispered in her hair as he kissed the top of her head.
Hannah rolled her head from side to side as tears ran down the side of her face. What the hell had she been thinking when she had said no drugs. “Daddy I can’t, I can’t.”
“Yes you can,” he insisted. “I’m here for you, you can do it.”
Hannah opened her eyes and looked up into her father’s face that hovered over her. Then she nodded, took a deep breath and when the doctor told her to she pushed with all her might letting out a scream that felt as if it were tearing at her throat.
The next sound that they heard was that of a baby crying. “Would you like to cut the cord grandpa?” the doctor asked handing Starsky a pair of scissors.
Gingerly Starsky took the scissors he was handed and walked to the end of the bed. He cast a look back over his shoulder at this partner who nodded and smiled at him. Starsky cut the cord then the doctor laid the baby on Hannah’s stomach so that she could touch her baby for the first time. Tears filled her eyes as she reach out and grasped her new daughter’s tiny hand. “Rosie,” she whispered softly.
Starsky looked at her as he heard the name, a smile spread across his face. “Rosie.” He put his hand on the baby’s back; she wiggled then let out another cry.
Hannah smiled back at her dad, “I think it fits her don’t you?”
Starsky just nodded as he was too over come by emotion to speak.


The day after Starsky had requested to see Hannah she quit her job at the coffee shop. She hadn’t needed the money it was just something to keep her busy. Brad had left her a sizeable insurance policy since he didn’t have any other family plus the money she had from her grandfather. Hannah was a rather wealthy young woman. She also decided that as soon as Starsky was able to go back to LA she was going to buy them a house where they could spread out and live in comfort.
Hutch had to settle for daily reports on Starsky from Hannah, he wanted nothing more than to hop on a plane and be with his friend but he also didn’t want to be responsible for a set back. Every evening Hutch would wait for Hannah’s call, until one night when he answered the phone and a familiar voice said, “Hey ya partner.”
“Starsky!”
“It’s good to hear your voice buddy,” Starsky smiled, it had taken him an hour to work up to making the call.
“How are you doing?” Hutch asked. “I have been wanting to come out and see you but…” Hutch stopped, “I’m sorry.”
Starsky chuckled, “I’m not going to break, I’m better Hutch I really am. Guess what I get to go out for the day tomorrow. Hannah is coming and we are going to Central Park for a picnic.”
“Wish I could be there for that.” Hutch said.
“Me to,” Starsky said then asked. “How’s everybody? Dobey mad?”
“Naw, Dobey is fine with this.”
“He doesn’t know the truth does he?”
Hutch hesitated, “Well not exactly.”
Starsky shook his head, “He has no idea. So what did you tell him?”
“That you just decided to stay in New York for a while, I got you a years leave.” Hutch admitted. “You know what would have happened to your career if this got out.”
“Thanks,” was all that Starsky said.
“Linda and I will be there December first if that is alright with you. We wanted to be there for Hannah’s final few weeks of pregnancy.” Hutch said, “Unless you need me before then.”
Starsky was silent for a few moments as he thought. He was nice having Hannah around but he didn’t feel that he could deal with anyone else even if it was Hutch. “I think December sounds great.”
“Alright I will wait until then,” Hutch said trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice.

The weeks past quickly for Starsky, slowly for Hutch, Starsky had moved into group therapy and making grand strides toward getting well. Hutch was sullen, doing nothing but working and sleeping. The only person he had contact with was Linda and lived for the daily calls that were now coming from Starsky instead of Hannah. He was wrestling with hurt feelings that Starsky didn’t want him there but also knowing that he had to do what was best for his friend if he wanted him back.
Finally Thanksgiving was over and December first was approaching quickly. Thanksgiving had been hard on both Hutch and Starsky. Hutch spent it alone as Linda went to spend it with her parents, she had invited Hutch along but he had declined. Instead he ended up eating steak at The Pit’s with Huggy. For Starsky it was a time to face some of his demons, any doctor would tell you that holidays are the very worst time for people especially ones with depression disorders.
When Hannah noticed that her father was no longer sitting in the living room after she had been in the kitchen checking on the turkey she had baking she panicked a bit. Hannah went from room to room down stairs then almost fearfully climbed the stairs where she found Starsky standing in his old bedroom staring at his bed. She walked up behind him and put her arms around his waist. He put his hands on her arms and squeezed them. “You okay?” She asked softly.
“Yeah I think so,” Starsky said taking a deep breath. It hadn’t be so long ago that he had lay dying on that very bed, wishing, hoping to die and although he still had feelings of hopelessness they were fewer and fewer. He could actually see beyond the hour, the day and into the next week and even next month. He turned and looked at Hannah, “I want to go to the cemetery.”
Hannah’s arms dropped to her side as she shook her head. “I don’t think that is a good idea Daddy. I think you should talk to your doctor first, maybe get him to go with you.”
“I want to go with you and I want to go now.” He said with determination in his voice.
“Alright,” Hannah said hesitantly, she was fearful if she didn’t take him that he would slip way and go on his own.
They both stood looking down at the grave makers of Starsky’s family, a light skim of snow had covered them, and he bent down and brushed away the snow one by one. He was used to seeing his fathers but his mother’s and brothers shocked him, it suddenly seem real for him especially his mothers. He looked up at Hannah, “Was it a nice funeral?”
Hannah nodded as tears filled her eyes; she squatted next to her father. “There were so many here, grandmother was well loved.”
“I wasn’t here.”
“She understands Daddy.”
“You think so?”
“I know so,” Hannah said. “For the last few months I have heard so many stories about grandmother, you, and uncle Nick. I feel as thought I was part of your childhood.”
Starsky smiled as he looked at her. “Margie Steinberg?”
Hannah laughed, “She has really taken care of me.”
“Sounds like Margie.”
Snow began to fall recovering the gravestones. “You ready to go Daddy?”
Starsky nodded, “Yeah I am, lets go have that turkey you have been cooking all day long.”

By December first the doctor felt that Starsky was ready to leave the hospital as long as he promised to continue his therapy. Hutch and Linda’s plane arrived that evening, Starsky made Hannah promise not to say anything about he release he wanted to surprise his partner.
As the arrival time for the plane drew near Starsky became more and more nervous. It had been months since he had seen Hutch. It was the first time they had been away from each other that long since they had become friends and partners. Their conversations on the phone had been strained at first, but as time went on they got comfortable with each other again. This was different this was going to be in person.
He and Hannah watched the arrival door as people streamed in from the just landed plane. Then suddenly Hannah spotted them, “There they are?” She said pointing into the crowd. Linda spotted them at the same time and both women waved.
Hutch and Starsky stood staring at each other for a split second then fell into each other’s arms hugging tightly. “Man it’s good to see you buddy,” Hutch said who had been having the same doubts and fears in the air that Starsky had been having on the ground.


                                                                                ~CHAPTER SIXTEEN~


Starsky waited at the top of the stairs with his small bundle as Hutch and Linda helped Hannah up the steps and into to the apartment. There was a cheap store banner strung across the living room that said ‘It’s a Girl’ Linda gave Hannah an apologetic look; she had meant to do a bit more.
“It’s perfect,” Hannah said as she eased with a grimace into a near by chair.
Starsky unwrapped Rosie and handed her to Hannah, “Her ya go mom.”
Hannah grinned at him unable to suppress her joy over her new daughter. She looked around at the apartment, “I guess we need to do a bit of decorating. Won’t be long and Christmas day will be here.”
“I’m sure there has to be some stuff around some place,” Linda said then she looked at Starsky, “Do you know where the Christmas decorations are stored?”
Starsky didn’t answer it was as if he were lost in his own world. Hutch concerned put his hand on his partner’s arm, “Starsk you okay?”
Hutch’s touch snapped Starsky out of this thoughts. “I want to be home for Christmas.”
“Don’t you think it’s too soon? You have only been out of the hospital for a couple of weeks?” Hannah said frowning.
“I have already spoken to my doctor and he has talked to the doc back home. They both agree if I stay in therapy that here is no reason that I can’t go back to LA.” Starsky couldn’t help suppressing a grin, as they all looked at him surprise.
“It would be so wonderful to be home for Christmas,” Hannah smiled down at Rosie.
“Then it’s settled,” Starsky said. “As soon as we can book a flight we are going.”
“What about the apartment?”
Starsky shrugged, “I’ll figured that out later, right now all I care about is going home and sleeping in my own bed.”
​

~HOME~

Christmas morning dawned bright and sunny, typical for California. Hannah had been up with Rosie before sunrise and she had taken the opportunity to quickly wrap her father’s package. She also checked the jell-o salad that she had made the night before to make sure it had set correctly and readied the ham for the oven. Linda and Hutch would be there soon.
Starsky yawned and stretched in bed enjoying being home. He hadn’t feel this good in months. He was eager for Hutch to get there, so that they could spend a little time together. Since they had returned to LA early Hutch had gone back to work. Starsky had even gone to visit the station.
The doorbell rang, Starsky sprung out of bed and headed for the shower knowing that Hannah would get the door. Linda and Hutch arrived together both loaded down with brightly wrapped gifts. After putting them under the tree with the rest of the presents Hutch went out retrieve the food that they had brought with them.
Starsky was just emerging from his bedroom as Hutch brought the last of the food in. The table was loaded with enough food to feed a small army. “Merry Christmas!” Starsky called as he hugged first Hutch and then Linda.” He loved Christmas even if Hutch was a bit baa-hum bug about it. But Starsky noticed that Hutch seemed excited for a change and eager to get to the gifts.
Hannah put some cinnamon rolls in the oven for breakfast then collected Rosie so she could have her first Christmas. A good many of the gifts were for little Rosie even if she wasn’t old enough to enjoy it. Once all her gifts were opened, which Rosie fell asleep during the adults proceed to open theirs. Hannah got a lot of clothes mostly from Linda who knew that she would love now that she was back to her regular size. Hannah was about to explode waiting to give her gift to Starsky so she went next. She pulled a box from under the tree that looked like it might hold a necklace and handed it to Starsky.
He quickly unwrapped the package and pulled out a key. He looked at Hannah, “What’s this to?”
“Our new house.” Hannah beamed at him.
“House? When did you buy a house?” Starsky wanted to know.
Hannah giggled, “Well I haven’t bought it yet. Actually this key doesn’t fit anything. But I want us to start looking for a house for the three of us, that is if it’s ok with you Daddy.”
“Okay? Are you kidding?” He beamed at his daughter then held his arms out to her.
“My turn,” Linda called as she pulled out similar looking box and handed it to Hutch.
“Another house?” He asked grinning.
“Open it and see,” she teased.
Hutch tore into the box to find a beautiful gold watch. “Linda this is beautiful.” He immediately put it on then gave her a kiss. Smiling he pulled a small square box from his jacket pocket and handed it to Linda.
She took the small package and opened it as they all looked on. Inside the box was a blue velvet hinged box. Linda closed her eyes for she, as the rest of them knew what it was. She took a deep breath and opened it. Inside was the most beautiful marquee diamond she had even seen. “Oh Hutch.”
Hutch got down on one knee and took Linda’s free hand, “Will you marry me Linda?”
She looked at him stunned as Hannah squealed and Starsky grinned at his partner. Linda looked around at three of them then back to the ring. She opened her mouth to speak but the words wouldn’t come.
Disappointment spread across Hutch’s face. “I-I thought this is what you wanted?”
“It was…it is,” Linda stammered. “It’s just…”
Hutch stood up, “I don’t understand Linda, I thought you wanted a commitment.”
“I do Hutch,” Linda didn’t know how to tell him. “Hutch I found my daughter or I guess I should say she found me.” She said in a rush for words.
“That’s wonderful,” Hutch meaning it but wondering what that had to do with them. “When did this happen.”
“A few months ago.” Linda explained. “There was so much already going on I just didn’t say anything.”
“I see.”
“Don’t sound like that Hutch. You already had so much on your plate.” Linda said. “She just turned eighteen and will be graduating in June. She decided to look me up. Her name is Megan, she lives in San Francisco.”
“Linda I’m confused what does this have to do with us?”
Linda sighed. “Hutch I have to put my past behind me before I can go on with my future.”
“We can’t do that together? I won’t get in the way with you and your daughter.”
“I know that, but I don’t want to marry you until my life is settled. When Megan called me it turned my whole life upside down.”
“And you didn’t even share it with me.” Hutch said looking hurt. “You know I’m always there for you.”
“I know it’s just…”
“I already had so much going on, you already said that.” Hutch said. “So you made that decision for me and I got cut out of one of the most important things to happen in your life.”
Tears sprung to Linda’s eyes she hadn’t really thought of it that way she just didn’t want to add to Hutch’s burden when she wasn’t sure how things would turn out with her daughter. “Hutch I’m sorry I should have told you.”
“Yeah,” he said as he walked out of the room and out onto the patio.
Linda started after him but Starsky got up, “Let me go uh?” She nodded and flopped down on the couch staring at the ring.
Hutch didn’t even turn around when he heard the door open, he knew who it was. “Hutch I’m sorry buddy, if I hadn’t been messing things up.”
Hutch spun around glaring at Starsky and shouted in his face. “God Damnit Starsk not everything has to do with you or is your fault. You are not responsible for everybody and the things that happen to them. That is what got you into this damn mess.”
Suddenly Starsky grinned.
“WHAT!” Hutch yelled.
“You sound like my doc.”
Hutch gave Starsky a sheepish grin, “Man it’s good to have you back.” He held his arms out to his partner.
Starsky hugged his best friend with everything he had. Then he said softly, “I have a special gift for you but I couldn’t wrap it.”
Hutch released him and looked into Starsky’s blue eyes, “That big uh?”
Starsky shrugged, “I just hope you like it.”
“You know I would like anything you get me.”
“W-w-ell that’s not always true. Remember the time that I got you…”
“Starsk just tell me what is it?”
“I’m coming back to work after New Year’s.”
Hutch’s mouth fell open. “Are you sure you are ready for that?”
“Doc said he thinks I am.”
Hutch hugged his friend once more. “That is the best present I have ever gotten.”
“You ready to go back in there? You know she didn’t say no she just wants to wait.”
“I know, I guess she is worth waiting for.”
“I think so.”
When the two men came back the living room Linda wasn’t there and Hannah sat clutching the blue velvet box tears in her eyes. She held the box up to Hutch. “I’m sorry Uncle Hutch.”
“Where is Linda?” he asked sadly taking the box from her.
“She left, said she didn’t want to ruin our Christmas any further and to call her after the holiday’s.” Hannah relayed the message Linda had tearfully given her to give to Hutch.
“Go after her buddy.” Starsky encouraged.
But Hutch shook his head, “I should have known better than to pick Christmas.”
“It’s not Christmas Hutch, just bad timing.”
“Yeah…what ever.” Hutch said mournfully all the Christmas spirit he had earlier had left.
“Here,” Hannah said handing him Rosie who had just woke from her nap. “There is no way you can frown holding this little angel.”
Hutch accepted Rosie, he looked at her carefully, “Know what? She looks like her mother and grandmother.”
Starsky smiled at his partner. “Yeah she does doesn’t she?” He sat down next to Hutch. “Merry Christmas partner.”
Hutch hesitated for only a moment then answered. “Merry Christmas Starsk it’s good to have you back.”
~THE END~