Starsky & Hutch
and the
Haunted House
by Tooki
A red Torino with a white strip running down the side glided to a silent top in front of a grass covered walkway. A fallen down well weather picket fence lay on either side of the sidewalk. It was almost dark, thick dark clouds were boiling on the horizon, flashes of lightening cut the clouds. A couple of stray raindrops splattered the windshield of the car.
"Shit," Starsky said peering out at the darkening sky through the windshield. He glanced toward the run down house behind the shabby fence. "I don't think anyone lives there. Besides if they do I don't think I want to go up there anyway."
"Don't be such a baby Starsk, it's just a house." Hutch said shaking his head as he got out of the car.
Granted the house had seen better days. The steps were treacherous looking, the first step the board was gone and the second was split. There were missing boards in the porch. Many of the windows were broken and ratty curtains were hanging out of the shattered glass flapping in the rising wind. The paint was peeling and the screen door hung by one hinge.
Lightening flashed close by and there was a loud crack, the rain begin to come down harder. "I am not going in there." Starsky proclaimed
"Fine then you sit out here in this down pour I'm going up to that house." Hutch said as he started up the weed-covered path.
Starsky crossed his arms in front of him and glared after Hutch through the now rain covered window. There was another blinding flash of lightening and a roar of thunder that shook the car. Starsky was out of the car and running up the path after his partner. "Hutch! Wait for me!"
Hutch put a tentative foot on the second step and pushed, it creaked but held. Gently he put his full weight on the step, stood there for a moment and then continued on to the porch. Starsky made it just as the downpour hit; it was raining so hard that they couldn't see the car only yards away. The thunder cracked again and Starsky grabbed Hutch's arm.
"Jeez Starsky," Hutch said jerking away from his friend's grasp. "Since when are you afraid of storms?"
"It's not the storm it's this creepy house," he said looking at the grimy front door. The glass was so dirty they couldn't see into the house.
Neither detective had seen the figure at the window in the up stairs bed room. As they got on to the porch the curtain fell back into place and the figure disappeared back into the room. Hutch knocked on the door loudly, knowing that nobody was going to answer. Starsky held his breath hoping nobody would answer. He half expected to see Lerch appear at the door. Hutch tried the doorknob, it turned easily in his hand. He pushed the door open, it complained loudly Hutch looked in then stepped in out of the weather.
"You know this is breaking and entering Hutch," Starsky whispered. Hutch grabbed his partner by the collar of his leather jacket and pulled him into the house.
They found themselves standing in a large entrance hall; a huge web covered chandelier hung above their heads. In front of them was a grand staircase that in its day had to have been beautiful. On either side of them were doorways one was a dining room complete with table and chairs. The table was still set as if the owners had just up and left in the middle of dinner. The other door was the entrance was a sitting room, it too was fully furnished.
"This is a bit creepy," Hutch admitted as he looked around the house in the fading light.
"Thank you," Starsky said sarcastically. "You couldn’t see that from the out side?"
"Well this still has to better than sitting in your car in this storm." Hutch said looking around for some kind of light. There was a light switch to his left, he flipped it but nothing happened. "I'm going to see if there are candles around here somewhere."
"I'm staying right here, by the door," Starsky said looking at the door that was still standing open casting what little light there was left into the dark house.
"Suit yourself." Hutch said and entered the dining room. He rounded the table, looking at the place settings. It looked like whom ever lived here was getting ready to have a dinner party or had a huge family. Twelve places were set with silverware, plates and wineglasses. In the center was a faded flower arrangement and two silver candle stick holders with candles in them. Hutch grabbed both candles then went to a dust cover buffet in search of matches. The first drawer he opened was filled with cloth napkins that had been shredded by mice. He moved on to the second drawer, here he found a box of matches. Hutch blew off the dust and opened the box wondering if they would still work. He took out one match and struck it against the side of the box. A flame rose from the head of the match.
A cold gust of wind blew through the room extinguishing the match and throwing him in to darkness. There was a loud bang from the hall and a frighten yell from Starsky as he came running in to the room almost knocking his partner down.
"I…I heard something Hutch." Starsky said looking back toward the doorway. He had been standing in the hall wishing Hutch would hurry up when he heard squeaking floorboards above his head. Then a big gust of wind had blown through slamming the front door closed.
"It was the wind Starsky. Remember we are having a storm?" Hutch said beginning to get annoyed with his friend.
"I heard footsteps up stairs, it was not the wind." Starsky proclaimed keeping his eye on the door. He was just sure that some horrible thing would come through it at any moment.
Hutch struck a match and lit one of the candles, which he handed to Starsky. Then he lit the other one. "Better?" Hutch asked as the room filled with a soft glow.
"NO I'll be better when I get the hell out of this place." Starsky grumbled. The flickering candle was sending spooky shadows on the walls. "Just what do you think happened to the people that lived here anyway? Look at this room, it's….it's creepy."
"I'll give you that," Hutch said picking up one of the forks from the table. "It's like they just never came to dinner. Let's have a look in the kitchen."
Starsky rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Let's just go stand in the hall until the storm is over."
"Oh come on Starsky, the house is empty. What do you think we will find in there dead bodies?" Hutch laughed as he pushed open the swinging door leading to the kitchen. As he went into the kitchen Hutch stopped and gasped with horror.
"What? What?" Starsky said franticly, afraid to look into the kitchen.
Hutch doubled over with laughter. "God Starsk you are so easy to scare."
"YOU!" Starsky said slapping Hutch in the back.
But when Hutch got a good look at the kitchen, it even unnerved him a bit. Sitting on the counter was the carcass of a rather large turkey on a platter. No meat reminded on the bones probably picked clean by an army of rats and mice. Several pots and pans sat on the stove with dried food in them. A large knife was stuck blade first into a carving board next to the turkey. Something large lay on the floor by the back door; Hutch stepped closer holding up his candle to see what it was.
When the light caught pile of bones on the floor Hutch almost screamed him self. It looked like a rather large dog and it tried to get out, there were large gouges on the door that started about mid way on the door leading all the way to the floor. The tile was all but pulled from the floor as the dog had tried to escape the house.
"Shit," Hutch breathed as he backed away from the sight. He was beginning to think that maybe Starsky was right. Maybe they should just get the hell of the house and weather the storm in the car. He could hear it still raging out side; the rain was pelting the house so hard it sounded like hail.
"What is it now." Starsky snapped thinking that his partner was playing with him again. Starsky walked up next to his partner and before Hutch could stop him Starsky cast his candle toward the grisly site. Hair still clung to the bones in places; its mouth was wide open as if it were still howling. "SON OF…" Starsky trailed off as he covered his mouth with the back of his hand willing himself not to be sick.
A long eerie howl came from what seem to be inside the house. Both men felt the hair rise on the back of their necks. "What the fuck was that?" Hutch asked in a startled voice.
"I thought you weren't scared," Starsky taunted. Hutch shot him a dirty look. "Let's get the hell out of here uh?"
"OK I’m with you," Hutch said.
They both made their way quickly to the front door, Starsky turned the knob but the door wouldn’t open. He kicked it several times and pulled harder. "It's won't open Hutch."
"Stop playing games, let's get out of here."
"I'm not," Starsky said in a panicked voice. "The door is stuck, you try."
Hutch handed his candle to Starsky and pulled on the door. "Maybe the rain swelled it shut."
"Great just great! How are we supposed to get out of here? Over the top of that…that thing in the kitchen?" Starsky asked. "I'm not going back in there."
"We can go out a window," Hutch suggested. He tried the closest window but it wouldn't budge.
"Just break the damn thing," Starsky said in a distraught voice.
"Let's see if there is another way out," he said starting for the stairs.
"Are you fucking nuts? I'm not going up there." Starsky squealed. He started pounding on the door and pulling on the knob; sudden it fell of in his hand. "Shit!"
"Good going Starsky," Hutch threw over his shoulder has he mounted the stairs.
"Don't you leave me down here by myself." Starsky shouted as he raced up the stairs after Hutch.
Starsky got to the top only a step behind Hutch. There was a long hall with several closed doors. A chill ran down Starsky's spine as he could only imagine what could possibly behind any one of those doors. Hutch walked to the first one and without any hesitation yanked it open. The room like all the others was fully furnished but other than furniture the room was empty. Hutch went to the next door and opened it again the same thing. He was hoping maybe there was a porch on one of them that they could get out onto and possibly jump to the ground.
"Come on lets just go back down stairs break a window and get the hell out of here before something happens to us." Starsky said backing down the hall toward the staircase.
Ignoring him Hutch opened the next door, something came swooping out of the room skimmer just above their heads and took off down the other end of the hall. Hutch gasped and Starsky thought he was going to pass out. Slowly Hutch peered into the room, the window was broken, and rain was pouring in the broken glass. He stepped into the room to see if it was possible for them to get out there. As he crossed the room to the window something touched his shoulder. "Starsky?"
"Yeah what now," came his partners voice from out in the hall.
Hutch stopped dead still then turned slowly to see what had touched him. The first thing he saw was legs dangling in the air and as he looked up he looked into the most horrible face he had even seen. A rope was tied around the neck of the corpse, he couldn’t even tell if it were a man or a woman they were so badly decomposed. Dark holes were where the eye should have been; several teeth were missing having dropped to the floor. The black clothes they had on hung in rags on their bony skeleton. Hutch backed way from the hanging corpse and into the door. Starsky stepped into the room to see why Hutch had called him.
He stood there with his mouth hanging open; his feet were welded to the worn carpeting as he looked at the grotesque site in front of him. Finally he snapped out of it and grabbed Hutch by the arm and propelled him down the hallway. He pushed his partner down the stairs. Starsky picked up the closest chair in the sitting room and tossed it through a window.
Starsky stepped out pulling Hutch with him. The rain had stopped thankfully and as they started down the stairs off the porch somebody shouted. "CUT! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS?"
Both detectives stopped stunned, the yard was full of cameras, light stands and a film crew. A woman who looked like her head had been almost severed from her body stood with her hands on her hips staring at them. "Ah…ah…" Starsky stammered not sure what to say.
"Would you like to answer me," the director demanded. "You just screwed up this shot and we are already behind because of the rain.
"Sorry we were looking for a place to get out of the rain," Hutch mumbled. "Our car broke down."
"Well the rain as stopped so get out of here and move that hunk of junk its with in camera range." The director snapped.
"HEY…" Starsky sputtered. "MY CAR IS NOT…"
"Just move it Starsk," Hutch said pushing his partner toward the car.
"But…but," Starsky protested.
"Just get IN," Hutch said opening the door and sliding into the car.
Starsky jumped in, "it's not running Hutch how are we going to move it?"
"Just give it a try, uh?"
Starsky put the key in the ignition and turned it over, the car roared to life. "Will I'll be." Starsky exclaimed.
Hutch looked at Starsky, "If you ever breath a word of this to anybody."
Starsky shook his head as he jammed the car into gear. "Don't worry about me buddy only me and thee will know about this one."
As they drove off they heard the director yell, "ACTION!"
THE END