The Final Farewell

~The Final Farewell~
By Tooki

~Chapter 1~

All she could think of was that she needed help, she looked around the darken street now empty of the gun wheeling teens. She could feel the tears coursing down her cheeks as she desperately looked around her. She knew that he could be dying or already was dead. She placed her hand on his back as he had fallen face first on to the hard sidewalk when he had been shot from the car window. She could hear car tires squealing a few blocks away and then the low moan of a siren met her ears but it too was also blocks away. Suddenly she heard running foot steps and somebody calling her name. Then there were arms around her pulling her away from the man she loved.
How could this happen after all these years, how could he die now. They had survived so much together it couldn't end like this. Not shot by street punks out for a joy ride. "Susan," said a voice penetrating her thoughts.
She looked up through a tangle of long dark hair, her friend, her partner and the other man she loved was pulling her into his arms. "Help is on the way." He said as he tried to smooth her hair. Starsky laid his hand on the side of Hutch's face, he was so cold and pale that Starsky couldn't help but also fear they had lost their partner.

The evening had started out perfect for the four friends they had decided to go out on the town. Leaving the younger children in the care of the Hutchinson's oldest daughter. Jesse who was now eighteen and graduating in a month was happy to watch her younger brother Davy who was ten and named after her parent's best friend and partner David Starsky. She also agreed to watch Starsky and Libby's two young daughters, Sammy who was eight and Deanna who had just turned two. Jesse was trying to make brownie points hoping that she would get the car she had been dreaming of since she had learned to drive.
The two couples had piled into Starsky's Torino, which he had spent hours restoring. He rarely drove it anymore being content to rub it with a diaper and a spray bottle of wax on his off days. That car had been through almost as much as the trio of detectives. Hutch had been promoted to Captain five years ago leaving Starsky and Susan cruise the streets. Which made Starsky happy he had no desire to ever be Captain and sit behind a desk. Hutch had in fact taken Dobey's position after the older man had finally retired. After being shot in a shooting ten years earlier at the station Libby had never gone back to work. Finding herself pregnant shortly after she and Starsky we were married she decided to stay at home and care for her family. Susan would have gladly retired but she couldn't bare the thought of some poor young rookie having to put up with Starsky and his eating habits.
Sadly Mrs. Gray the Hutchinson's nanny and friend had died right after Jesse's fifteenth birthday leaving them with an empty space in their home and hearts. They couldn't bring themselves to hire anybody else. Jesse was content to watch her brother and help her mother with the house. She couldn't stand the thought of anybody else there. Mrs. Gray had been like a second mother to her since she had taken care of Jesse from the day she had been born.
The movie had started at eight and they had decided on a late dinner afterward. It was after the movie when they had been walking the two blocks to the restaurant that all hell had broken loose. They had been laughing and talking when a car came careening around the corner. The driver slammed on the breaks sending up smoke from the pavement as the car skidded to a screaming stop. A young man leaned out the back seat window a gun in hand. Before the couples could hit the sidewalk or take cover the boy had fired three shots. Two had whizzed by them harmlessly the third had stuck Hutch in the back as he had tried to protect his wife. He dropped silently to the pavement as the car sped off. Libby and Starsky had pursued the car of teens trying to get a plate number.
Susan knelt next to him softly calling his name, she knew from years on the streets not to try and move him. It was clear that the bullet had entered his back near the spine. A red spot was spreading quickly on the back of his shirt. He was breathing but it was very shallow and she feared that maybe the bullet had struck a lung.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity a Life Squad arrived along with several squad cars. Starsky turned Susan over to Libby to care for as he explained to his fellow officers what had transpired that evening. As he told his story the paramedics worked on Hutch. Instead of rolling him over, taking a chance of injuring his spine further they slipped a backboard under him and lifted him to a gurney. After getting an IV going they loaded him into the waiting Life Squad and sped off into the night.
Starsky after dropping Libby off at the Hutchinson's took Susan to the hospital. Libby stood at the front door for several minutes before depressing the doorbell. She wanted time to compose her self before facing the children especially Jesse. Libby wanted to be at the hospital with her husband and best friends but she truly understood the special relationship between the three of them. She knew it was best if Starsky and Susan were there to console each other with out her being there. And besides somebody needed to be with the children through all this. Finally she rang the doorbell it took a couple of minutes before Jesse opened the door. She had a bowl of popcorn in one hand and the cordless phone in the other. Davy and Sam were sitting on the floor watching a movie but Deanna was no where to be seen and Libby presumed that Jesse had already put her down for the night.
Jesse took one look at Libby's face and said into the phone. "I got to go Tara," Jesse knew that something was very wrong, she could plainly see the tear streaks down the woman's cheeks. "What happened, where's Mommy and Daddy?"
"Let's go into the kitchen," Libby said as she propelled the teen toward the kitchen. She didn't want the younger ones to over hear what she had to say.
Once in the kitchen Jesse sat the bowl on the counter and turned to the woman that she had always called Aunt Libby. "Are they all right?"
Libby took Jesse's hands in hers, "Honey, it's your dad. She said slowly. "He was shot while we were walking to the restaurant." She quickly told Jesse the rest of the details as both of their eyes filled with tears.
"I have got to get there." Jesse said grabbing for car keys that were hanging on a peg by the back door. She was always allowed to drive her mother's car when she wasn't using it.
"Let's just give them sometime," Libby said. "He was just taken in, it will be a while before they know anything. They will call the moment they know anything."
"But I want to see Daddy," Jesse whaled.
"Honey they won't let you see him now. Your mom can't even see him." Libby said wrapping her arms around the now sobbing girl. "I know your mom would feel better knowing you were here with Davy."
Jesse nodded slowly, wiped her tears away with the back of her hand and picked up the bowl of popcorn. "I promised Sam and Davy popcorn and sodas with the movie."
"I'll get the drinks." Libby said watching Jesse as she went out into the living room. Susan and Hutch had a lot to be proud of in Jesse. She had grown into a strong independent young woman. And in the fall would be moving half way across the country to attend college.
Starsky and Susan sat next to each other in the emergency waiting room. They were holding hands both had stricken looks on their faces. It had been two hours since Hutch had arrived at the hospital and they hadn't heard a word from any one. Once Starsky went to the desk to ask the nurse about Hutch's condition but was told she didn't know and as soon as they knew something the detectives would be informed. Susan had made a quick call home and after talking to Libby, spoke to her daughter. She tried to reassure Jesse that her dad would be fine but it wasn't easy and she knew that Jesse didn't believe her.
They both sat watching the second hand on the clock over the pop machine tick by. With every passing second they didn't know if they should be worried or relived. If Hutch had died they would have been told by now. Susan laid her head on her partners shoulder and closed her eyes unable to stare at the clock anymore.
Two more hours passed before a doctor wearing green scrubs came out. He had a mask around his neck and held his surgical cap in his hand. "Are you friends of Captain Hutchinson?" He asked the two detectives who had finally fallen into an uneasy sleep.
At the sound of the doctors voice they both sat up and nodded. "I'm his wife." Susan said, "and this is my partner and his best friend David Starsky."
The doctor nodded, "I'm not going to lie to you, he is not in very good shape. The bullet damaged the spinal cord, right now we don't know how badly. There is a lot of swelling so we won't know much. If he wakes up we might be able to tell more."
"IF?" Susan barely whispered.
"I’m sorry Mrs. Hutchinson, like I said I'm not going to lie to you. You husbands condition is very grave. The bullet just shattered in many pieces after it entered his body. We have seen these kind of bullets time and again. They are very deadly. He has a punctured lung and there is a tear in his heart. We got as many of the fragments from the bullet as we could. I'm sure there are more but we just can't find them. If one of them dislodged and got into his blood stream it could go straight to his heart and he would be dead in seconds. The chances are remote but I have seen it happen in the past. Our biggest concern right now is the tear in the heart, I stitched it up but there is a great chance for infection. And Captain Hutchinson might never walk again or be able to use his arms. But like I said we won't know that until he is a wake and the swelling has gone down in his spinal cord."
Susan and Starsky sat stunned for a few moments trying to digest what they had just been told. Finally Starsky asked, "Can we see him."
The doctor nodded slowly. "Yes and if there are other family members, children they should be called."
"Oh my God," Susan whispered inaudibly. "Oh my God." She rocked back and forth trying hard to keep her composure.
"I'll go call Libby and get her down here with Davy and Jesse." Starsky said stiffly as he moved from the couch.
"Starsky," Susan called after him. He turned to see what she wanted, tears were running down his face. "Call Cap and Huggy they would want to be here." He nodded and went to find a phone.
The doctor took her hand, "Mrs. Hutchinson I know I have scared you. I'm not saying that your husband is going to die for sure but it's also not looking good. I just don't want anyone to regret not getting to say goodbye."
Susan nodded in understanding, "Can I see him?"
"Sure," the doctor said. "But I must warn you he's going to look…"
She stopped him and gave him a weak smile, "You don't have to go through your spiel I have been in this position more times that I want to even remember."
"I guess you have," the doctor smiled kindly at her.
The doctor stood in the hall allowing Susan to enter the room by herself. She had seen it all before, the machines, the IV's, the bandages. But this time there were no bandages visible if it hadn't been for the paleness of his skin Hutch would have looked like he was just sleeping. She followed the IV tubing from the bag hanging next to the bed to his arm with her eyes. Susan reached for his hand but stopped. What if this was the last time she ever got to touch him? What if this was it? They had been though every thing together she, Hutch and Starsky. How many years had it been? Far too many to count she had been all of twenty-two when she had first laid eyes on Hutch. And now they were married had two wonderful children one ready to leave the nest. She was looking forward to growing old together, watching their grandchildren play in the back yard, just having time to themselves.
She felt arms go around her waist and she leaned her head back against Starsky's chest. "The kids and Libby are on their way." He whispered in her hair. "He's going to be alright."
"I don't think so, not this time." Susan said. "It's just too much, he's not as young as he use to be.
Starsky spun her around to face him. "You listen here young lady, you will not give up on him do you understand me? I am not going to lose my best friend this late in the game. I'm to damn old to have to go looking for a new best friend.
Even through her pain Susan had to smile at her best friend, she nodded, "I know it's too late to start over." They both knew there was no starting over for either of them. The die had been cast things were as they were now and neither of them could lose Hutch he was what tied them together.

~Chapter Two~

Jesse knocked softly on the intensive room door, when her mother answer it she fell into her arms tears running down her face. She some how knew that this time it was different. There are been many times that her parents had ended up in the hospital so she was not stranger to it all. This time she was truly scared, maybe it was because she was older and could grasp how serious everything was. Usually her mother was instantly telling her that things were going to be OK. But this time her mother had a grave expression on her face and Jesse could tell she had been crying--a lot.
Jesse looked over at her father's lifeless body and felt her heart break. She wanted him to be at her graduation, walk her down the isle when she married and bounce her children on his knee. Her eyes went to Starsky who was standing next to the bed holding his partner's hand that as if he let go Hutch would die. Starsky who always had a smile for his favorite Goddaughter had tears in his eyes as he looked up at her.
Slowly she stepped close to the bed and touch her father's face then bent down and kissed his cheek. "I'm here Daddy everything is going to be alright," she said softly in his ear. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you, I promise."
Jesse felt a hand on her shoulder she stood up and turned around. "Is Davy here?" her mother asked.
Jesse nodded, "He's out in the waiting room with Aunt Libby." She explained. "I thought it was best if I came in first." She had always been so protective over her little brother. Of course they had their battles but when push came to shove she was always there for him no matter what.
"You stay here with your Dad," Susan told her. "I'm going to talk to him before I bring him in."
Jesse touched her mother's arm, "Mommy? Susan turned to look at her daughter. "Is Daddy going to make it?"
"Sweetie I just don’t know," Susan said honestly. "Just think good thoughts." Susan smoothed her daughter's hair and left to talk to her young son.
Davy stood solemnly at his father's beside bed he slipped his hand into his sisters and looked up at her. Jesse squeezed his hand hoping to reassure him. Even though his Mommy had explained all the machines surrounding his Daddy it was still frightening. The noise they made scared him and he didn't like the way his Daddy was so still and quiet. Usually Hutch tossed little Davy in the air and tickled him until the boy gasped for his breath but he loved every minute of it. Since Hutch had made Captain he had been able to spend more time at home with the children. They went almost everywhere as a family as Susan and Hutch didn't want to miss a moment of their childhood.
It had been Hutch's idea to give Jesse a huge graduation party where he and Susan planned on presenting her the car that she had been dreaming of. They had been saving for two years in order to get it for her. And with a little help from Starsky and Libby they had managed to buy it. He was sadden at the idea of her going half way across the country to go to college but he understood and supported her all the way. After all it had been at that college that he and Susan and found each other again and where Jesse had been born.
Davy lifted a hand to touch Hutch's hand but then drew back. "It's ok, you can touch Daddy, you won't hurt him." Jesse said gently as she guided her little brothers hand to her fathers.
Davy smiled at her and grasped Hutch's hand tightly, "I love you Daddy." He said softly.
Susan who was standing next to Starsky squeezed his hand as her eyes filled with tears. She hated this there was nothing that she or anyone could really do. It was up to Hutch to come back to them. Starsky had the same helpless look on his face as his partner did.
The door opened and Libby stepped in, "How's he doing?" she asked.
"No change Hon," Starsky answered as he went to her. "Why don't we go and get a cup of coffee?"
Susan wanted to yell, "NO come back you can't leave me here alone." But she didn't, things were different now, as they should be since he had married Libby. It was hard pulling away from him when they had been so close. But he had Libby now and even though Libby understood their special relationship Susan also saw a few of Libby's worried looks when she thought nobody was watching. But the last thing in the world Starsky and Susan would ever do was to hurt the ones they loved.
Susan looked across the bed at her two children who were being so brave. She gave them a weak smile but could offer no assurances that their father would live this time. What made her the angriest was that they weren't even working. It would be easier to accept if Hutch had been shot in the line of duty but to be a victim of the street crime they fought daily was just too much.
The room door opened and Captain Dobey stepped in. He had a head of white hair now but still looked the same, just a little better rested. Susan instantly went to him and put her arms around him hugging him tightly. "Thanks for coming," She said. "I know Hutch would want you here."
"Don't make it sound so final," Dobey said in his gruff voice. "I wouldn't count Hutchinson out yet, he has a lot to live for." He looked at the children standing at their father's bedside.
"I know but it doesn't look good this time," Susan said softly.
"Starsky filled me in."
"I just don't know if he could stand to be paralyzed if he lives." Susan sighed. She had been thinking that since she had found out how bad his injuries were but hadn't said the words out loud.
"We can cope with a lot of things if we have to." Dobey assured her. "Look Edith has been coping with me being retied for five years now."
Susan smiled at him. He always seemed to make things better when he was around. She had grown very fond of him over the years and thought of him as a father. She even had him give her away when she married Hutch. "How is Edith?"
"She's doing fine putting up with me." Dobey said. "She would have come but Rosie is coming home for a visit and she wanted to be there when she arrived."
"Give them my love," Susan said as she hugged her former Captain again. After Harold Dobey said a few encouraging words to the children and to Hutch he left promising to return soon.
Shortly after Dobey left Starsky returned carrying a cup off coffee for Susan and a couple of sodas for the kids. "I think you need to go home and get some rest." Susan looked like she was about ready to drop.
"I'm fine."
"I know you are but you still need some rest. Why don't you take the kids home, get a shower and a nap." Starsky said. "You know I won't leave his side.
Susan looked over at Davy who couldn't take much more of seeing his father in that state and for him she agreed to leave. Jesse put up a bit of a fuss wanting to stay but Davy refused to leave unless she did so Jesse finally relented vowing that she would be back soon.
As soon as he was alone in the room with Hutch he went to his partner's bedside and looked down at him. "Damn it Hutch you can't do this do you hear me? We have always been there for each other and you are not going to leave me now do you hear me?" Starsky was weeping uncontrollable as he spoke to his best friend.
By the middle of the afternoon Starsky had fallen asleep in a chair next to Hutch's bed. He had slid way down in the chair and had his feet propped up on the edge of the hospital bed. A few times the nurses came in silently to take Hutch's vital signs and to make sure he was resting comfortably.
The shadows were getting long as the afternoon was turning into early evening. Starsky still slept soundly and didn't hear the moan come from his partner. Hutch slowly opened his eyes, it took them a few minutes to focus. He tried to bring his hand to his face but neither of them would move. Then he tried to roll over and couldn't, he wondered why he was tied down. It had only taken him a few minutes to realize that he was in the hospital. Hutch tried to think of why he could be there. Then it all came flooding back to him. They had all been at a movie and were walking to a restaurant to eat when some punks in a car had come to a screeching halt next to them and fired a gun.
He tired to sit up, "Where was Susan?" he thought. Had she been hurt too? It was apparent that he had been hit by a bullet and what about Starsky and Libby? He badly wanted to get up and find out but he couldn’t.
Hutch raised his head up just enough to see a pair of tennis shoes propped up on the edge of his bed. He breathed a sigh of relief at least Starsky was ok. He opened his mouth to speak but his throat was so dry that only a whisper came out. Hutch swallowed hard and tried again this time words came out. "Starsky, get your feet off my bed." He laid his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes. It had taken every ounce of strength to raise his head and speak.
Starsky heard his partners voice even though he was asleep and automatically replied, "Awwww come on Hutch." Then Starsky jerked wide a wake and jumped to his feet. "Hutch? Hutch did you say something?" He was leaning over the bed staring into his partner's face. Hutch opened his eyes to see Starsky only inches from his face.

~Chapter 3~

Huggy came in from a long weekend with his girlfriend of five years Kit. He tossed his keys on the table next to the answering machine and depressed the button to pick up the calls that were waiting him. The first few were about his bars but the one that stopped him in his tracks was the frantic call from Starsky. Kit had gone to retrieve their mail from a friend who was picking it up from them. When she arrived in the apartment she found Huggy listening to the message for a third time. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"What is it?" she asked when she saw the expression on his face.
"It's Hutch, he's been shot." Huggy said grabbing his keys. "Doesn’t sound good."
Huggy had done all right for himself. In the last ten years he had opened several other bars in different parts of the city and they had been come instant hits. He finally moved from his tiny apartment over his original place to a larger much nicer apartment not to far from where his detective friends lived.
He had met Kit one night on his rounds, he always tried to put in an appearance at his bars at least once a night. She had been sitting at the bar when he had come in the back. Kit had been the first thing that Huggy laid eyes on as walked behind the bar. She was a stunning black woman with shoulder length hair, dark brown eyes, and with a sense of humor that equaled Huggy's. They had spent the rest of the evening together and by the end of the week Kit had moved in with Huggy and had been there ever since.
With out waiting for a response from his lady Huggy rushed out the door and Kit followed him. She had become fond of his friends instantly enjoying the outings and time they spent with the detectives.
Susan had just been about to walk out their front door when the phone rang. She started not to answer since she wanted to get to the hospital but then at the last moment grabbed the receiver. "Carlston." She said into the phone. She answered the phone that way so much at work that it came automatically.
"Hey Carlston," Starsky said in a teasing voice. He was so overjoyed that Hutch was awake he could hardly contain himself. The doctor still hadn't been in the room yet but just the fact Hutch was talking thrilled his partner to no end.
"What's wrong?" Susan asked frighten that Hutch had taken turn for the worse. She was so worried that she missed the tone in Starsky's voice.
"I got somebody here that wants to talk to you." Starsky said and held the phone down to Hutch.
"Hi Hon," Hutch said softly into the phone.
"Hutch?" Susan breathed, "Is that you?"
"Yep, you can't get rid of me that easy kiddo."
"I'm on my way babe," She said. "I love you."
"Love you too."
Before leaving Susan ran to tell everyone that Hutch was awake and talking. Jesse insisted on coming with her mother. Libby offered to stay with the younger children so they didn’t have to take the time to find a sitter.
When Susan and Jesse arrived at in Hutch's room Starsky was on the phone to Dobey and Hutch was sleeping. He hung up as mother and daughter crossed the room to the bedside. Starsky looked up at them and grinned. "He's sleeping." He whispered Susan nodded. "Where the heck is Huggy? I have left about ten messages for him."
Susan shrugged, "I don't know. Thank heavens Hutch is awake Huggy would have never forgiven himself if something would have happen and he wasn't here."
Starsky agreed then said, "The doc is on his way, he was on his rounds when the nurses called him."
Susan picked up Hutch's hand and held it. Just knowing that he was conscious made her feel better but she wished he would wake up and talk to her again. As if on cue Hutch's eyes fluttered open and he smiled up at his wife and daughter.
"Oh Daddy," Jesse said and carefully leaned over to hug him. Hutch tired to raise his arm to touch her head but couldn’t. A frown crossed his face as he tried again. He looked up at Susan with questions in his eyes.
"The Doctor will be here soon, he'll check you out." Susan promised.
"Dobey was here to see you buddy," Starsky said hoping to take Hutch's mind of his unmoving limbs.
"Davy was here too," Jesse told him standing up. She was beaming at him at this point she didn't care if she had to push her father in a wheel chair she wanted him to live. "And Aunt Libby."
"Did they catch them?" Hutch asked about the shooters.
"I don't know," Starsky said. "We have been pretty busy watching over you."
"Well if everybody is here who is running the station," he teased with a smile. He saw that Susan was holding his hand but he couldn't feel hers. He tried to squeeze her hand but nothing happened. Then he tried to move his legs…nothing. He could feel himself begin to panic. He took a deep breath and looked at Starsky this time. Somebody had to tell him what was going on. Why didn't anything hurt, if he was shot something should hurt, shouldn't it? Sure it should, he had been shot enough times that he knew how painful it was. "Where was I shot?" he asked slowly.
Susan and Starsky looked at each other not sure what to say. "The doc will be here any minute." Starsky said again.
"OK you guys you are starting to scare me," Hutch said looking back and forth between Starsky and Susan. "You telling me I wasn't shot?"
"No you were shot," Susan said finally. "You were in surgery, they got most of the fragments out."
"Most?" Hutch said. "And what about the ones that are left."
"They shouldn't cause you any trouble." Starsky said.
Hutch could tell they were avoiding answering him, only giving him half the facts. "Come on, I can tell you are keeping something from me. What gives?"
How could they tell Hutch that he might never walk again? Jesse looked down at her feet for once her mother had laid the facts out for her instead trying to sugar coat it. This time Jesse wished that she didn't know it would have been easier.
Susan against her better judgement was about ready to spill it when the Doctor walked into the room. She sighed in relief knowing she wouldn't have to tell her husband the possible grim news but also knowing that there was no delaying the truth either.
"I'm Doctor Kancel," he said introducing himself Hutch. "Nice to see you awake."
"Maybe I can get the truth out of you since my partners here don't want to seem to tell me just what is going on."
"Let me check you out first and then we'll talk." Dr. Kancel told Hutch. He took his blood pressure, his pulse and listened to his heart. Everything was normal then he pulled out a small metal object that was about the size of a ballpoint pen it had a sharp end on it. He uncovered Hutch's right leg first; he ran the shape end along the bottom of his foot. Hutch didn't even flinch, then the doctor poked the bottom of his foot and worked his way up the Captain's leg to his thigh, still nothing. He then moved over to Hutch's left foot and went through the same procedure.
Hutch watched the Doctor with wide eyes, he knew he should be feeling what the Doctor was doing. He looked over at Susan who unable to help her self allowed her eyes to fill with tears.
Then Dr. Kancel took Hutch's hand in his and asked him to squeeze as hard as he could. Hutch tried with all his might but he couldn't make his fingers close around the Doctors hand. Dr. Kancel folded back the sheet and began working his way up Hutch's stomach then chest poking the sharp instrument into his skin. He was doing it hard enough to leave little indentations with out breaking the skin. Finally as he got to Hutch's collarbone Hutch began to have a reaction to the prodding.
"You feel that?" Dr. Kancel asked.
Hutch nodded as he own eyes filled with tears. "I'm paralyzed aren't I?"
The doctor put the tool away before he answered the question. "Yes for now any way." Dr. Kancel said. "The bullet hit near your spine but not on it. There was a small fragment that we did remove from you spine; it was in between two of the discs but there was little damage. I have as some of my colleagues who have viewed your x-rays think that when the swelling goes down that you will again have movement. But it might take some time and you will have to keep you legs and arms moving so that they don't atrophy. We will set you up with physical therapy as soon as your back is healed enough, probably a couple of days."
"So I will walk again." Hutch said slowly making sure he understood what the doctor was saying.
"Yes, mostly likely but don't kid your self Mr. Hutchinson. You have a long hard road a head of you. It might take months for the swelling to go down. When it does even with the therapy you will still be very weak, you will lose a lot of muscle tone. You will have to work very hard but I feel confident that you will walk normally again."
"We will be here every step of the way buddy," Starsky assured his friend.
"Can you teach me what to do?" Susan asked looking at the Doctor through her tears that were a mixture of relief and sadness at what her husband was going to have to go through.
"Yes but let's not get head of ourselves Mrs. Hutchinson, your husband has to recover some before we can start. We want to make sure that his back is stable and that there aren't any fragments moving around in there that could cause trouble. We will x-ray his back again in a few days. Some times the fragments will work there way to the surface of the skin or out to where we can get them. I think there were only a couple that we could see in the x-rays but thought it was best to leave them be for the time. I would say if all goes well he can start on therapy early next week." Doctor Kancel told her.
After the Doctor left Susan bent over and kissed Hutch, "We'll get though this honey, you'll see."
"Yeah," Hutch said softly turning his head away to look at Starsky. Starsky smiled but didn't like the look he was seeing in his partner's eyes. "You'll be back on your feet in no time."
"It's only a month until graduation Daddy, you got to be there," Jesse blurted out. Then hung her head. "I'm sorry I’m being selfish."
Hutch smiled at her, "come here honey." Jesse leaned over Hutch kissed her cheek. "You aren't being selfish and I want to see you graduate we have worked hard for this."
Jesse laughed, "We? Hey I'm the one that did all the work."
"And who stood over you and made you do your home work uh?" he grinned at her.
"Mom," she teased. She had almost said Mrs. Gray but even after three years it still hurt not to have the older woman in her life any longer.
"You better watch it young lady or I'll get out of this bed and spank you." Hutch teased back.
"Ok you two," Susan said. "I think it's time for you to go home Jess, we don't want to tire your dad out. You can come back later. Starsk why don't you take her home you have been here since Hutch came in. You really need some rest or you are going to be in here."
Starsky was reluctant to leave but he was tired, hungry and figured his friends needed some time alone. "Come on Jess I'll take you home. I'm sure Libby and the kids what to know how everything is."

~Chapter Four~

The elevator doors slid open, Huggy and Kit hurried to the nurse's station to inquire about their friend. As Huggy was speaking to the nurse Kit saw Susan standing down the hall. She was leaning up against the wall and looked as though she were crying. Kit nudged Huggy and pointed down the hall.
Huggy took off down the hall Susan looked up just before he reached her. The tears running down Susan's face terrified Huggy he was too late Hutch was gone. Susan fell into her friend's arms and began to sob. It was out of relief that her husband was going to live even if he might be paralyzed for the rest of his life. But Huggy miss read the tears. Kit stood by also with tears running down her face. "I'm so sorry I didn't get here in time." Huggy said in a tight voice. "Kit and I were away for the weekend."
Susan stepped back and looked into the anguished face. She was puzzled by his words for a few moments then it dawned on her what they both must be thinking. "Oh sweetie," She said as she threw her arms around his neck. "Hutch is alive!" Susan quickly filled in Huggy and Kit on the events of the last few days. She finished by saying, "we have a lot of work ahead of us and the doctor is hopeful that Hutch might regain movement."
"You know we will be here for you guys," Kit said hugging Susan tightly.
Susan nodded and smiled. "Would you like to see him? I sent Starsky and Jesse home already."
"You think he's up to it?" Huggy asked.
"I think he would be upset with me for sending you away." Susan said.
"Why don't we go get a cup of coffee," Kit suggested, "You look like you could use it."
Susan nodded in agreement, "Tell Hutch I'll be back in a few minutes."
After the two women left Huggy slowly pushed the room door open. Hutch looked terribly pale and small in the hospital bed. Huggy just never got use to the machines that beep and flashed at the bedside. He quietly made his way to the bed. Hutch had his eyes closed and looked peaceful in his sleep. Huggy smiled glad to know that his friend was going to be all right and started to leave.
"Going with out even saying Hi?" said a voice. Huggy looked back, Hutch's blue eyes were smiling at him.
"Hey man I thought you were sleeping. How the hell are you?" Huggy asked coming back to the bedside.
"Lucky to be alive from what I hear," Hutch answered. "I guess Susan told you what happened." Huggy nodded. "Tough break man."
"We'll get thought this," Hutch said in a firm voice but the look in his eye wasn't as self-assured.
"You know I'll do what ever I can." Huggy said even though he knew he didn't have to say it.
Hutch nodded. "I need to talk to you and Starsky together. I want you guys to…." Hutch trailed off as Susan and Kit entered the room.
"Hey Hutch," Kit said as she came across the room. She bent down and placed a kiss on his cheek.
"How's it going Kit?" Hutch smiled at her.
"Sounds like I had a better weekend than you did." She teased.
"Last time I got to a movie and dinner." Hutch said. "It's too dangerous out there."
"And here I thought the three of you were keeping our streets safe." Kit winked at him. It was easy to see why they all like Kit so much. She had fit in with them from the moment that they had met her. It was like they had always known her.
Hutch was thoroughly enjoying the banter with Kit it was keeping his mind off they way his arms and legs no longer moved. "Hey Hon, when is Starsk coming back?" he asked Susan.
"I'm not sure, I told him to get some rest but you know him." She answered. "I'm surprised he's not back already.
"Why don't you let Kit drive you home," Huggy said. "You look exhausted. I'll stay here until Starsky gets back."
Finally Susan agreed to go with Kit. Thirty minutes later Starsky stepped into the room. He was surprised to see Susan was gone but delighted that Huggy had finally made it.
"About time Hug, where the heck have you been man?" Starsky questioned. Huggy explained that he and Kit had gone to Vegas for a long weekend.
After a little small talk Hutch asked his friends to sit down so that he could talk to them. He looked at them both seriously, he had been thinking a lot. He had pretended to sleep several times just so that he could have a chance to think things through.
"I want to talk to the two of you." He said evenly. "I know that I'm going to have a long hard road a head of me. This is going to be hard on Susan too maybe even more so. I want the two of you to promise me that no matter what happens you will be there for her."
"Hutch you don't even have to ask that." Starsky said. "You know we will take care of Susan and the kids. We will be here every step of the way for all of you."
"I know buddy," Hutch said smiling at him. "But I still had to ask. And one more thing if things to go good for me. If I don't recover enough to live a full life, I might need the two of you to uh…uh…"
"NO!" Starsky yelled standing up. "If you are asking me what I think you are for get it."
Huggy agreed. "How could you even suggest something like that man?"
"You are going to recover." Starsky stated as he paced the room. "Fully!"
Hutch sighed, "I know, but all I'm saying if I don't if..if. Damn it I don't want to just waste away. I don’t want Susan and my children taking care of me the rest of my life. I just couldn't stand that. I don't want my legs and arms to shrivel up, to be fed, bathed and pushed around like a baby. I can't live like that… I won't. I will not be a burden on my family and friends."
Starsky wheeled on his friend. "How dare you ask either of us something like this. How dare you!" he stormed. "You sound like you are giving up even before you have started. That's sure not the Hutch I know. You think that you not being there for Susan to grow old with, to see Jesse go off to college, get married, have her own children. To watch Davy grow up and your godchildren. You think it would be better to be dead? Just who the hell do you think you are sparing the pain? Them or your self? Are you so damn lazy now you don't want to fight? Screw you my friend. I won't have any part of this, I won't stand around here and watch you quit!" Starsky stalked out of the room with out even looking back.
"That goes for me too buddy," Huggy said. "I won't take any part in this. I'll help you anyway I can to live but you'll have to find somebody else to help you die."
Huggy then left leaving Hutch with his thoughts. He sighed as he closed his eyes. He wasn't even surprised at their reaction. If it had been any different he would have been worried. But it still didn't change the facts; he didn't want to be an invalid with everybody waiting on him for the rest of his life. If he had just lost the use of his legs he might have been able to get through that. He still would have been able to eat and dress. Hold Susan hands and lift Davy up on his lap. But the only thing he could move was his neck that was no way to live. Life held nothing for him.
Sure the doctor had said that when the swelling went down he would most likely walk again. But how long would that take? Days, weeks, months? There was also the punctured lung and the tear in his heart, both, which seemed to be healing well. Hutch lay along time thinking and finally fell asleep only to dream he was running and playing with Jesse and Davy in their back yard.
Starsky didn't return to the hospital until the next morning. He had been so angry when he had gotten home that Libby didn't even question him. Starsky had told Susan that Hutch and fallen asleep and would probably sleep though the night and he insisted that she remain at home. Starsky was afraid since he and Huggy had turned down his request that he might ask Susan. He knew that a request like that would surely destroy her.
When he pushed the door open a nurse was trying to feed Hutch from a breakfast tray sitting on a table by the bed. "Come on Mr. Hutchinson," the nurse begged. "If you eat we can take some of these IV's out."
"I told you I'm not hungry." He said and refused to open his mouth.
"I'll take care of this," Starsky said taking the fork from the nurse. She nodded and smiled grateful to be able to leave the room. She had been trying to feed him for the last thirty minutes.
"I wondered when you would show back up," Hutch snapped.
"Shut up and eat," Starsky command. "You going to let Susan come in here and see you like this? You know they won't let you starve to death in here. What do you think is in all these IV bags anyway? They are keeping your sorry ass alive."
"Starsky just leave me alone." Hutch said. He would have pushed the tray of food to the floor if his arms worked.
"Why are you giving up without even trying? Would you please tell me that?" Starsky asked. "This just isn't like you. You always were a fighter."
"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I'm just tired?" Hutch asked with tears in his eyes. "I have put up a fight my whole life. I have bounced back from more things that I can even remember. Maybe this is just too big maybe I'm just too damn old to keep trying. I'm worn out man."
"And what about Susan, Jesse, Davy? Damn it what about ME?" Starsky asked who now had tears in his eyes. "We need you! What do we do when you just quit? If this were me laying here in this bed would you let me get away with this crap? You would be hounding my ass and you know IT!"
Hutch gave his friend a lop sided smile. "Ok ok you win." Hutch sighed. He opened his mouth and allowed Starsky to fork in some eggs. He made a face, "They are cold."
Starsky shook his head, "Well what do you expect? I'll get you some fresh."
Starsky picked up the tray and headed for the door. "Starsk?" Hutch called to him.
"Yeah?"
"Please don't tell Susan about this."
"Never."
Starsky pulled open the door and started out. "Oh and Starsky?" Hutch said making him stop again.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks buddy."
"Anytime time Partner."

~Chapter 5~

Hutch lay quietly as Burt the physical therapist pushed his knee to his chest. He stared at the ceiling waiting for it to be over. This was his third day in therapy first they worked his legs then moved to his arms . It took an hour for Burt to finish each day. And each day Burt was asked Hutch to squeeze his hand or push his foot against the man's palm but everyday the results were the same…nothing. True it had only been three days since they had started but Hutch had now been in the hospital for a week and a half. He was tired of the food, he was tired of having to be lifted in to a wheel chair and strapped in so that he wouldn't fall out on his face. He was tired of being bathed and spoon-fed. His lung had pretty much healed as the tear in his heart the doctors were please about that. But as far as his spine there was still swelling and they were afraid that they might have missed a bullet fragment. There had been several more series of x-rays and talk of more surgery. Which meant an even longer stay in the hospital.
Hutch's spirits that weren't very good to began with were dropping even lower. Not even Susan and the children could make him smile any longer. They all tried very hard to keep his spirits up but he could see the strain that they were all under because of him.
And to make matters worse he had lost his temper with Susan the evening before and thrown her out of room. She had left in tears and didn't even call to say good night just before going to bed like she had been doing since he had been hurt.
"What ya thinking about boss?" Burt asked. Burt was a huge black man, over six feet tall with enormous arms capable of lifting the immobilized from chairs and beds.
Hutch looked into the grinning face that loomed over him. "Nothing much." Hutch sighed.
"Fight with the Mrs.?" He asked.
Hutch looked at him amazed, "How did you know?"
"Hey boss I have seen it all," Burt said as he lifted Hutch's left arm above his head. "I have been at this job some twenty odd years. I know what you are thinking and feeling before you do."
Hutch smiled at Burt. He liked the man, he was honest didn't throw any punches and would answer any question. "I guess you like your job."
"You could say that," Burt grinned his blinding white smile. "I started here when I was nineteen. It was either that or go to the joint for a while. I was the driver in a gas station hold up."
"Must have been your first offence." Hutch said knowingly.
Burt shrugged. "I was in some miner scraps when I was younger but nothing major. My mother pleaded with the judge told him she would get me a job and keep me out of trouble. And I have been here ever since."
"You know I'm a cop," Hutch said.
"Sure do boss," Burt said as he moved around the bed to Hutch's right arm. "I know my patients inside and out I have found that it helps with recovery."
"And will I?" Hutch asked bluntly.
"Honestly?"
"Yep, let me have it."
"Yeah I think you will," Burt said as he bent Hutch's arm at the elbow and straightened it again. "That is if you stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop trying to push your family and friends away. You hardly talk to them when they come in. Start eating better and show a little interest in how I torture your limbs everyday."
"Is that all?" Hutch sighed. "I'm not sure I can do all that."
"Yes you can," Burt said. "We are done for the day." Burt hoisted Hutch up and sat him gently in the wheelchair next to the bed. "And I'm going to keep them muscles of yours strong until you are ready to use them. It's going to be slow but feeling will start coming back."
"You're sure of that uh?" Hutch asked as Burt strapped him into the chair.
"Yep just as sure as I can be. But like I said you got to help out that body of yours it can't to it all by it's self. I think you have a strong will. You are doing a great job of keeping people away how about using some of that anger to fight this uh?" Burt pushed Hutch down the hall toward his room.
Hutch sighed, "I'll try Burt I'll try. But it's hard I hate…"
"I know boss I know." Burt patted him on the shoulder even though he knew the man couldn't feel it. "All I ask is that you try. You are going to be going home in a few days."
Hutch closed his eyes that scared him even more. Even though he would come back to the hospital daily for Burt to work with him he would still be at home with Susan and Jesse waiting on him hand and foot. When Burt push Hutch through his room door Susan was sitting in a chair beside his bed reading a book. She glanced up and smiled at Burt.
"How's he doing?" Susan asked laying her book in the chair.
"Not bad but just as contrary as ever." Burt grinned at her as he lifted Hutch into bed.
"Ah…being a pain in the ass." She said without a smile. She was growing weary of her husband's behavior. Susan knew he was angry she could understand that, she knew he was frustrated also and that too she could understand. What she couldn't understand was why he was pushing the people that he loved and loved him further and further away. It was like he was shutting down his emotions, separating him self from them and than scared her.
Just as Burt was leaving a nurse came in carrying Hutch's lunch tray. "Here you go Mr. Hutchinson. I bet you are hungry after Burt." She smiled as she sat the tray down on the rolling table near his bed. She pushed it up to him and started to sit down.
"You mind if I do it Sally?" Susan asked. The nurse shook her head and hand Susan the silverware. Hutch started to protest he hadn't yet allowed Susan to feed him. Only the nurses and Starsky had done it. The detective waved the nurse on, "We'll be just fine."
Susan unwrapped the silverware and uncovered the dishes that held Hutch's lunch. He glared at her, "The nurse could have done this." He snapped.
"Yes she could have and so can I." Susan said as she inspected the food on the plate to see what it was. "Looks pretty good here. Why don't we try some of these mashed potatoes uh?" She dipped the spoon in the white fluffy mixture and held it up to Hutch's mouth.
"I'm not hungry," he said.
"Oh come on you have to be. I have seen Burt work you, he really puts you through the wringer." Susan said still holding up the spoon to her husband's mouth.
"I said I'm not hungry."
"FINE!" Susan said dropping the spoon on the tray. "Tell you what, when you are ready to live again give me a call. I'm tired of watching you feel sorry for yourself. You think I don't know what you asked Starsk and Huggy to do?"
Hutch glared at her, "I'm going to to…"
"To what? She asked. "Just what the hell are you going to do? If you are mad because you think one of them told me they didn't. I think you forget I know you inside and out Ken Hutchinson. I know you plan on just lying there and dying because somebody else won't pull the plug so to speak. Well I’m not sticking around to watch you die. I have a carload of hoods to find, I have a graduation to plan for your daughter and I have our son to raise. I would rather not do it by myself but since you seem to have given up I guess I have no choice."
Hutch just scowled at her without saying a word.
"I'm going back to work tomorrow." Susan said as she gathered up her things. "There will be a nurse to care for you at home. Jesse needs to be in school and I at work besides you wouldn't let us help you anyway. I'll have Starsky bring the kids by this evening after school. Jess only has a week left then she will be out. Graduation is in two weeks, I hope you can make it." And with those final words Susan walked out of the room.
Once out of the room she leaned against the wall in the hallway. She begin to sob, she felt as if her heart was breaking. All of them had tried to snap him out of it. Starsky had thought he had gotten through and for a couple of days Hutch did ok but as the days drug on and there was no signs of improvement the dark mood settled back over him.
Sudden Susan felt big strong arms pull her into a tight hug. She looked up through tear filled eyes to see Burt's face looking down at her. Susan really let loose then crying until her breath came in big sobbing gulps. If it hadn't been for Burt holding her in his arms she would have just slid to the floor. Burt just held her with out saying a word until the sobbing subsided, then he guided her to a chair in his office down the hall from Hutch's room.
He let her compose her self for a few minutes then took her hand in his big black one. "It's going to be ok Mrs. Hutch really it will. I have seen this hundreds of times. He will come around, he's just angry right now. Not at you but that is who he is taking it out on because you are the one that is here. Those punks that shot him are the ones he should hate but he can't see them only you and Mr. Starsky. He's sorry, he really is I can see it in his eyes while I'm working on him. He loves you very much."
Susan nodded unable to speak for fear she would begin crying again.
"You got to hang on but you did the right thing too. You got to make him want to get well don't play into his game of trying to die. He doesn't want to die believe me." Burt patted her hand then stood up. "I got a patient to see in five you going to be OK?"
Taking a deep breath Susan whispered, "Yeah I think so. Thank you Burt…for everything."
"You take your time in here nobody will bother you." Burt said as he started to leave. He paused at the door. "He'll come around you'll see."
~Chapter 6~

Jesse and Davy stood out side their father's room not sure they really wanted to go in. Uncle Starry had brought them, as their mother had said she had other things to do. Jesse hadn't believe her for her mother had been there every spare moment that she could be. Something big had happened between her parents. And even though she stood on the edge of adulthood she couldn’t think of her parents splitting up.
Slowly Starsky push open the door Hutch was lying in bed his head turned away from the door. "Hey Hutch, you awake?"
There was no answer from the bed, no motion, nothing. Starsky walked to the bedside followed by the children. "I brought the kids."
"Hi Daddy," Jesse said brightly. "We got our caps and gowns today. I was going to bring it so that you could see but it's so wrinkled. I thought I would just wait until you get home."
Hutch still didn't move Jesse looked at Starsky wondering what to say next. "Hutch, you feeling alright?" Starsky asked as he touched the side of his friends face.
"Yeah I'm OK," came an answer so soft they could scarcely hear him.
Davy leaned up against the bed, "Hey Daddy, base ball is getting ready to start. Remember you signed me up? You told me you would teach me how to catch and throw."
A loud sigh came from Hutch, one more thing he wouldn't be able to do. He closed his eyes and wish that he would just die. His life was over, he could never go back to work, never play ball with Davy never be the man he used to be.
Suddenly Davy climbed up on the bed. "Daddy?" he put his little hands on Hutch's face and turned his head so that his father could no longer avoid his eyes. "You said you were going to teach me. You promised, it's not fair!" Davy stormed tears were running down his face. "All my friends are practicing their fathers are helping them."
Jesse started to pull Davy from the bed but Starsky stopped her. "There was a look in Hutch's eyes that he hadn't seen before."
Davy begin to bounce on the bed and his voice rose higher. "You said this year. I wanted to last year but you said to wait until this year. I had to wait and now you have to teach me you promised, you promised." Davy fell onto Hutch's chest weeping.
Jesse looked at her father, he was crying also. Hutch so wanted to comfort his son to take him in his arms. He wanted to teach him to play ball, he hadn't been to bad of a ball player in his day. And he wanted to share that with his son.
"Ok Davy, ok," Hutch whispered as he rubbed his face on the top of his son's head. "I'll teach you. But I got to get out of this bed first can you wait for me? Will you let Starsky help you until I can do it?" Hutch looked over at Starsky who nodded his head he was more than willing to help.
Davy raised up and looked in to his father's face, then hugged him. "Don't cry Daddy, it will be ok. I'll be the best ball player, you'll see."
"I know you will be." Hutch said smiling his first real smile in a long time.

The next morning when Burt came to get his patient Hutch was alert and ready for him. "Well well," Burt commented when he came in the room. "We have a good breakfast?"
Hutch nodded, it was the first time to the nurses' surprise that he had eaten all his breakfast with out one complaint. And when Burt got him to physical therapy Hutch watched every move that Burt made. Concentrated on each move his muscles were being force to make and tried to feel it. Every time he started to feel it was hopeless he would think about his son begging him to teach him how to play ball and it only made him more determined to keep at it.
After two hours Burt put Hutch back in his wheel chair as they started down the hall Hutch asked. "Could we go out side?"
A smile crept across Burt's large face, "Sure boss. I don't have another patient for an hour."
It was out side with Burt sitting on a park bench and Hutch in his wheelchair next to the big man that Susan found them. She had gone to work that morning with out even stopping at the hospital. It about killed her to at least not peek in at her husband but she had meant what she had said. She was not going to watch the man she loved die. Jesse had told her what Davy had done and how her Dad had finally reacted but Hutch had seemed to come around before only to fall right back into his depression.
It had been hard to go back to work. It was the first time since Hutch had been shot. She sat down at her desk across from Starsky's and stared at the files on her desk. The job suddenly held little meaning for her. How could she protect the city when she couldn't even protect her own family. She looked at Hutch's office door, where it had once said Harold Dobey it now said Ken Hutchinson. Susan had been so proud the day Hutch had made Captain. It had also been mixed with a little sadness knowing that their trio would be split up.
Starsky was out running down a few leads on a case they were working on. Susan had opted to stay and work on the mounds of paper work that never seemed to go away. By noon she could no longer stand it and left for the hospital.
Susan stood stunned to see Hutch sitting out side. They had all offered many times to get him out in to the sunshine but he had always turned them down flat. Burt was laughing apparently at one of Hutch's many stories. She walked up and stood next to the wheel chair without a word.
Burt noticed her first. "Well well who do we have here." He grinned at her.
"Hi ya Burt."
He winked at her then looked at his watch. "Hey would you mind taking boss back to his room? I have a patient in five."
"Sure that is if Hutch doesn't mind." Susan responded looking down at her husband. That was one of the many things he wouldn't allow her to do.
"It's fine beside I would like to stay out a little longer," Hutch said, "That is if it's ok."
"No problem just don't get a sunburn," Burt joked and walked away whistling.
Susan sat down where Burt had just gotten up from. "Feeling better today." She asked not looking at him.
"I guess you could say that," He sighed, "Susan listen, I…I'm really sorry for the way I have been acting. I know I have been putting you, the kids, Starsky, everybody through hell."
"I know this is all really hard on you. But it's hard on us too especially when you want allow me or the kids to help you." Susan said trying hard to hold back the tears. She was tired of crying.
"Well things are going to be different now, I promise." Hutch said looking at her. "I would hold your hand if I could."
She smiled at him then took his hand. "I know you can't feel this but at least I can. It won't be long, the doctors are very hopeful."
"Davy wants me to teach him to play ball." Hutch said as he watched a couple walking arm in arm toward the hospital.
"I know Jess told me what happened last night."
"I am going to get out of this chair."
She smiled and kissed him. "I got to get back to work," Susan said hoping that he was really coming back to them this time. "I'll take you in now." She held her breath to see if he would protest her pushing the wheel chair.
"Ok," he answered. "Are you coming back tonight?"
"If you want me too." She replied
"Of course I want you too. And could you do me a favor?"
"Sure you know I will."
"Bring me something to eat. Even one of Starsky's pizzas sounds good about now."
Susan laughed as she pushed him toward the hospital doors.

"Where have you been?" called a voice as Susan entered the station. Starsky was striding toward her with a grim expression on his face.
"Hospital and guess who was sitting out side when I got there?" She said smiling at her partner.
"That's good news, looks like Davy really got to him last night." Starsky said he took Susan's hand.
"What's going on?" she asked not liking the look on his face.
"They got them." He said, "They are in booking."
Susan knew what he was talking about with out asking. The punks that had shot Hutch had finally been picked up. She started for the elevator she wanted to see them.
Starsky knew right where she was going. He grabbed her arm, "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Oh I'm sure."
When they arrived in booking three of the boys had already been process and were in a cells the fourth was sitting on a wooden bench waiting his turn. His stringy blond hair hung in his face; he wore pants that were so huge on him they were falling off and a T-shirt that the sleeves had been ripped out of exposing a tattoo of a skull and cross bones.
He looked up at the two detectives as they entered the room. Susan's heart stopped that night flashed clearly in her mind. There had been enough light that she had gotten a good look at the face of the shooter. A rage that she never knew filled her very soul. She shot across the room before Starsky could stop her.
Susan grabbed the boy with both hands by his T-shirt, he couldn't have been more that seventeen drug him to his feel and slammed him against the wall.
The boy looked bewildered, then angry, "Hey what the hell is this."
"I'll tell you what the hell this is," Susan spit in his face. "This is me making you wish you had never given up wearing diapers."
"Get off me you crazy bitch." He yelled trying to break her grip. But she held him tightly refusing to let go even when Starsky came up behind her and whispered in her ear.
"Shut up punk," she snarled. It Starsky hadn't been so worried what Susan was going to do he would have laughed. For she was only five foot four and the kid was at least six feet tall. "You have given grief for the last family."
"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked still trying to free himself.
"You remember a night couple of weeks ago? A little joy ride you and your friends were taking?" She hit him with her words. "Remember hanging out of the car window and shooting my husband?"
Suddenly the boy went white and his body went limp. All the fight went out of him and he started crying. "I didn't mean to hit anybody. We just found that gun in the trash and were playing around. I wasn't out to hurt nobody."
"Well you did, you destroyed my family. My husband is laying in a hospital bed paralyzed from the neck down and we don’t know if he'll ever walk again." Susan said, her grip loosened on the young mans shirt and she allowed him to slide down the wall.
Starsky pulled the boy to his feel and sat him back on the bench. "I hope you had fun that night. It's going to be a long time before you go anywhere again." Then Starsky turned placed his arm around Susan's shoulders and guided her out into the hallway. "You OK?"
"Yeah I think so." She had begun to shake.

~Chapter 7~

Hutch's first week home was trying to say the least. Susan made up the den for him to sleep in complete with hospital bed for it was easier to get him in and out of. At first Hutch was still reluctant to let his family care for him but soon he resigned himself to the fact he had to have their help. Susan hired a nurse to be with him during the day while she was at work but she had Jesse along with help from Starsky and Libby cared for him.
The first couple of days Hutch spent most of his time in bed but as he got use to being home he would allow the nurse to hoist him into his wheel chair and push him out on to the patio. Every afternoon a van came from the hospital to pick him up for his two-hour session with Bert.
Bert was pleased with Hutch's progress even though no feeling was returning. After several more x-rays the doctors decided that no further operations would be need and the swelling was almost gone from his spine. They sure that feeling should be returning to Hutch's limbs anytime. But unlike TV he wouldn't just jump up and start walking. He would still need physical therapy and it would take many months for him to fully recover.
One evening near the end of Hutch's first week home Susan came home to find Hutch sitting out on the patio. Davy was sitting on his father's lap holding the newspaper as Hutch read the sports page out loud. Susan stood in the doorway watching them smiling. "What are my two guys doing?"
Davy turned grinning at his mother. "We are reading the baseball scores."
"So I see," Susan said. "You get all your home work done?"
"Awww mom!" Davy protested. "School is almost out."
"I know that young man but it's not out yet, you still have two weeks."
"Its not fair Jesse's last day is tomorrow." Davy pouted as he slid from Hutch's lap.
"Your turn will come," Susan soothed as she patted him on the head. "Besides Starsky, Libby and the girls are coming for dinner tonight and you don't want to be doing homework when you could be playing."
Davy brightened and dashed off to get his schoolwork finished. Once he had gone in side Susan turned to Hutch. "Starsky and I have to be in court for the kid that shot you in the morning." Neither of them had told Hutch much of the details of what was going on with the case.
Hutch nodded silently, since he had seen nothing he would not be required to be in court. "You ready to go in and get cleaned?" Susan asked. "Starsk and Libby will be here soon. Where's Jess?"
"Graduation rehearsal," Hutch said. "She should be home any minute."
Starsky appeared in the patio doorway. "Yeah ya buddy how's it going?"
"Hi Starsk," Hutch smiled at his friend.
"How about if I let Starsky bring you in so I can get dinner started?" Susan said winking at her husband. As she passed Starsky in the doorway she whispered. "I told him about court tomorrow." Starsky nodded and went out to bring Hutch in the house.
At dinner that night they all had a wonderful time joking and talking. It was the happiest Susan had seen Hutch in along time. Davy, Sam and Deanna were giggling at one end of the table while the rest of them were discussing Jesse's big graduation party. She had wanted to cancel it but Hutch wouldn't hear of it. Suddenly Libby jumped up from the table and rushed out of the room. Susan glanced across the table at Starsky, he just shrugged his shoulders. She got up and followed her friend.
Susan found Libby in the downstairs bathroom, she knocked softly then opened the door. "You OK Libs?" Libby was sitting the toilet with her elbows propped on her knees and her head in her hands. She just shook her head no. "What's wrong," Susan asked kneeling down next to her.
"I'll be alright in a minute," she answered quietly. "I was going to tell you all of you that night. But then Hutch was shot and I just couldn't say anything. I haven't even told Starsky he was just to upset.
"What are you talking…" Susan's mouth fell open. "Libby are you pregnant?
Libby nodded and looked up at Susan with a small smile on her lips. "Yeah."
Susan threw her arms around her friend. "Oh Libby this is wonderful news. But I wish you would have told us sooner."
"There just never seemed like a right time." Libby said. "I thought that maybe Starsk would pick up on it but he has been so distraught."
"How far along are you?" Susan asked wetting a wash rag for Libby to put on her face.
"Just about a month. I had just been to the doctor that morning and I was planning on telling everyone at dinner."
"I'm so sorry sweetie," Susan said hugging her friend again. "Well I can't think of a better time than right now to break the news. What do you say?"
Libby looked up at her best friend. "You think so?"
Susan laughed, "you had better say something soon or everybody is going to noticed."
Libby took a deep breath and handed Susan back the wash cloth. "Ok, I feel better at least this time I didn't throw up. Skip the morning sickness I seem to get it in the evening." She grinned. "Let's go spring the news on them."
By the time the two women got back to the table Jesse had cleared the dishes away and the younger children had gone into the back yard to play. Starsky had moved around to sit by Hutch and they both had bottles of beer in front of them.
"Everything OK hon?" Starsky asked looking worriedly at his wife. "You haven't been feeling too well lately have you?" Starsky felt a little guilty that he had been spending so much time with Hutch but he knew that Libby totally understood and she was over as much as he was. He patted a chair next to him, "Sit down."
Libby sat down next to her husband and took his hand then looked up at Susan for support. Susan smiled and nodded her head.
"What's going on here?" Hutch asked when he saw the exchange between the two women.
When Libby hesitated Susan said, "Come on Libby spill it."
"Well I have an announcement to make," she giggle nervously. "Geez that sounds stupid."
"Will you just tell them!" Susan exclaimed.
"I'm pregnant!" Libby blurted out.
Starsky's eyes went wide with surprise, "Really?" Then a huge smiled spread across his face and he hugged her tightly.
"Aunt Libby that's wonderful," Jesse squeezed giving their family friend a hug. "When when?"
"Some time around the first of January," Libby smiled glad that she had finally been able to tell them all.
"I'm so happy for you guys," Hutch beamed at them. Libby got up and hugged Hutch as he kissed her on the cheek. "I guess I had better be better by than I want to hold the baby."
"You will be better way before them, my friend." Libby said squeezing his shoulder.

~Chapter 8~

The day was perfect for a graduation ceremony and Jesse was a nervous wreck. She was the valedictorian it had come down to her and one other girl and they hadn't found out until the last of their grades were recorded. Jesse and gotten it by one tenth of a point. She had told her mom but made her promise not to tell the rest as she wanted it to be a surprise especially for her dad. Jesse worked day and night on her speech getting it just right. When she came down the stairs Susan and Hutch were waiting by the front door. There were tears in both her parent's eyes as they watched her descend the stair.
"I hope you know how proud we are of you baby," Susan said giving her daughter a knowing look. She had kept her promise to her daughter although it was hard to do. Every time Hutch's spirits would wan a bit she would be tempted to tell him about Jess. But she wanted him to be surprised as much as Jesse did.
The graduation was being held out side on the school's football field. Rows and rows of folding chairs were line up in the grass in front of a stage that had been erected just for the event. Susan made sure that they had front row seats so that Hutch could be as close to his daughter as he could get. All the seniors filed in the girls in white robes the boys in blue. They took their seats on the stage in front of their parents.
The principal got up gave a short speech then it was time for him to announce the valedictorian. "I am proud today to honor this years valedictorian. She is a fine young woman and outstanding student and an inspiration to her classmates. So with out further ado I would like to present to you this years valedictorian Jesse Marie Hutchinson."
Hutch's eyes widen and he looked at Susan who was smiling broadly. Starsky who was sitting on the other side of her poked her in the ribs, "Did you know about this?" She just nodded about to burst with pride.
Everybody was clapping for her as she came to the podium. "All right Jess!" Hutch cheered since he was unable to clap.
Jesse smiled lovingly down at her father. After she adjusted the microphone she opened a folded piece of paper that she had written her speech on. Jesse looked out at the audience, "First of all I would like to thank all of you for coming to see our class graduate. We have put in a lot of hard work to be here now but we couldn't have done it without you our parents.."
Susan reached out and took Hutch's hand as Jesse spoke. Starsky was holding her other hand. He felt as though it was his daughter up there too. He had been there every step of the way.
Jesse went on for a few more minutes then took the microphone and came off the stage to stand in front of Hutch. "And I want to say a special thank you to my father Ken Hutchinson who has shown me what real courage is and what never giving up means," Jesse choked on her words as tears stood in her eyes. She leaned down and kiss Hutch on the cheek then looked over at Susan. "I love you too, Mom." With a wink at Starsky she went back to the stage and handed the mic over to the principal.
The audience went while cheering as did her classmates. There were several more speakers and then the handing out of the diplomas began. Several times Susan notice Hutch had a grimace on his face. She would question him but he always insisted that he was just fine.
After the ceremony was over they rushed home to get ready for Jesse's party. There were several parties going on that day and most of the kid's party hopped so they had no idea how many would be there. They had invited all of Jesse's closer friends and their families with an open invitation to anybody else who wanted to join them.
Jesse had just finished putting tablecloths on the picnic tables in the back yard when Davy came running out to her. "Jess, you are wanted in the front yard," he told her trying not to laugh. With out waiting for her reply he dashed back into the house. He wanted to beat her to the front yard.
She put down the napkins she was holding and followed her little brother through the house. When Jesse stepped out into the front yard her parents, Davy, Starsky, Libby and the girls were standing there grinning at her. "What?"
Not being able to wait any longer Davy started jumping up and down pointing toward the driveway. Jesse looked in the direction he was pointing her mouth fell open. There with a huge white bow on the hood was a red Mustang convertible.
"Happy Graduation!" They all chorused together.
Jesse just stood there stunned. Starsky handed her a set of keys. "It's from all of us. We knew how much you wanted one."
"Oh my god you guys," Jesse exclaimed taking the keys. She threw her arms around Starsky, then her mom, Libby and the girls telling then all thank you. Davy stood in front of her holding a tiny box with a bow on it. "What's this?"
"Something for your new car. I picked it out myself." He said proudly. Jesse opened the box and in side in a fluff of cotton lay a key chain with a brass shaped mustang horse on it.
"Thank you Davy, it's perfect." She said hugging him. Then she went to her dad. Jesse gently sat in his lap and hugged him tightly. "Thanks Daddy I love it."
Classmates started to arrive they all ogled the car before they went to the back yard. Some of them had also gotten cars of their own and they were all talking excitedly about their plans for the summer.
Huggy and Kit pulled up with the Dobey's right behind them. It had been several years since Dobey and Huggy has seen each other. They shook hands and walked toward the house together. Davy along with Starsky's girls came running around the house. They are screamed when they saw who was coming up the walk. They flung them selves at the adults laughing and talking all at once. Davy pointed to the car explaining that it was Jesse's graduation gift. Huggy lifted Davy to his shoulders and they all followed Sam and Deanna round back to the party.
When they came in Jesse ran to greet them. "How's my girl," Dobey asked giving her a hug and slipping her an envelope.
"I'm doing great!" Jesse beamed as she hugged Edith. "I'm sorry I couldn't invite you all to graduation but they only gave us so many tickets."
"We understand honey," Edith smiled at her.
Huggy held his arms out to her then. "Wow all grown up now and ready for college," he teased.
Jesse hugged him tightly. "And scared to death," she added.
"Aww nothing to be scared of sweetie," Kit said hugging her. "Our gift is out in the car we'll get it later."
Susan was coming across the yard to meet their new guests. After all the greetings were made they went to find Hutch. Susan put her arm around Jesse, "You having fun honey?"
"Oh mom you guys are the best!" she exclaimed. "The party is wonderful and I can't believe you got me that car. It's too much."
"We wanted you to have reliably transportation since you are going to be so far from home."
"Mom I want to go to school here," Jesse blurted out. She had intended on waiting until that evening or the next day to tell them but it just came out.
"Why?" Susan asked surprised. All Jesse had talked about was going to the University Cincinnati. When Jesse didn't answer right away Susan hooked a finger under her chin to make her look her in the eyes. "Does this have something to do with your dad?"
Jesse nodded, "You are going to need help with him. You can't do it alone."
Susan shook her head. "I have help, we have Nurse Max coming in everyday. Starsky and Libby are right next door."
"I know mom but they will have a new baby soon and…" Jesse begin.
"Listen here young lady I don't plan on your father being in that wheel chair for the rest of his life and neither does he." Susan said sternly. "It would kill him if he thought you were changing your plans because of him."
"But mom." Jesse whaled.
"No buts now you go have fun and I don't want to hear any more of this nonsense." Susan said smiling as she smacked her daughters butt.

It was nearing midnight when Susan finally walked into the den to check on Hutch. All the guest had left hours ago and Jesse had gone party hoping with some of her friends. Libby helped clean up until Susan told her to go home and rest. She had made Hutch go to bed, he had been looking uncomfortable all day long but still insisted that he was fine. She flopped into an easy chair next to the hospital bed, she was tired but happy the party was a complete success and Jesse overjoyed with her gift.
Susan kicked off her shoes and climbed into the bed next to her sleeping husband. She spent many nights there instead of going to her lonely bed up stairs. Susan curled up next to him and slung her arm over his chest. She was so happy to have him home paralyzed or not. Hutch groaned in his sleep. Susan propped her self up to look into his face. He had an expression on his face that looked like he was in pain.
She touched his face, "Hutch you ok?"
His eyes popped open and he looked at her. "My damn leg has been asleep all day long," he said sleepily as his eyes slid shut again
Susan sat up, "What? Hutch what did you say? Hutch wake up."
"Uh?" he said opening his eyes again.
"What did you say about your leg?"
"I said that it has felt like it's been asleep all day." Hutch said waking a bit more. "You know pins and needles."
Susan jumped off the bed excitedly. "You mean you can feel your leg?"
Hutch looked at her startled, "Yeah that is exactly what I'm saying. I guess with everything going on today I just didn't realized."
She pulled back the sheets and looked at his legs. "Wiggle your toes," she commanded.
Hutch concentrated on wiggling the toes on his right foot. Susan held her breath waiting and they were both rewarded with the slightest of movement. "Did they move?" Hutch asked hoping against hope.
"Yes, yes!" Susan squealed as she through her arms around him holding on tightly.

~Chapter 9~

It was nearing two a.m. Starsky still hadn't fallen asleep. Libby had long drifted off with her head on his chest. He stroked her hair softly as not to wake her. He wasn't sure what was keeping him from sleep tonight. Maybe the excitement of the day, or the fact that last week the teen that had shot Hutch had been put behind bars for a very long time along with his cohorts. Or it could be the fact that after four weeks Hutch was still sitting in a wheel chair with no sign of movement.
Starsky sighed deeply wishing he could fall into a dreamless sleep but that didn't seem likely to happen. His thoughts drifted to Susan as they sometimes did late at night when everyone else was sleeping. It was easy during the day, with the girl's constant chatter and Libby moving about the house humming to herself. Or when they went to the park or the beach thoughts of her were crowded out by real life but when it was quiet and he was alone with his thoughts she often crept into his mind. He felt no jealously toward Hutch how could he but he did have regrets. He could have pursued her himself but by the time he realized that he was in love with her it was too late. She and Hutch were together. As time went on he found that she shared his feelings but it was all too late for this lifetime. There were too many people involved that could be hurt so they went along their way loving the ones they were with.
Starsky knew that she still thought of him as he would sometimes catch her out of the corner of his eye watching him. He also knew Libby was aware of the feelings that loomed just below the surface. But she never asked, or pointed fingers or accused. Libby just accepted worried a bit and loved him a lot hoping that she could make him forget. Libby knew going in that they had feelings for each other and that Susan had been the real reason that he could never commit as if he were waiting or hoping.
It was now three a.m. and he was no closer to sleep than he had been at two. Starsky was thinking about getting up to find himself a snack when the phone rang. He grab it on the first ring hoping to keep it from waking Libby who stirred in her sleep at the sound.
"Yeah?" he whispered into the phone.
"Starsk it's me," Susan said in an excited tone.
"Everything all right?" he asked sitting up.
"Everything is wonderful!" she exclaimed. "Hutch has some feeling in his legs."
"What?" Starsky swung his legs over the bed. Libby roused up and looked at him to see what was going on. Starsky fumbled around in the dark for his pants. "I'll be right over."
Libby snapped on the light. "What's going on?"
"It's Hutch," Starsky grinned at her. "He's got feeling in his legs."
"You are kidding me!" She grabbed a robe as she got out of bed. Starsky came around the end of the bed and caught her in his arms spinning her around the room. "He's going to be OK!"
"I knew he would be," Libby said laughing. "I guess you are going over?"
"For just a sec, you mind?"
"Why would I mind?" Libby asked. "I'm going to check on the girls. I'll wait for you to get back."
"I won't be long I promise."

Early the next morning Susan placed two calls one to Hutch's doctor the other to Burt. Doctor Kancel told her to bring Hutch to the hospital immediately he would meet them there.
Once again Libby stayed with the younger children as the rest of them pilled in to Susan's car for the trip to the hospital. Burt was waiting for them out side when they drove up. He got Hutch out of the car and put him into his wheel chair.
Hutch grinned up at Burt who patted him on the shoulder, "I told ya boss." Burt said grinning back. He was just as pleased as the family.
"I just never thought it would happen," Hutch replied. Hutch had stayed awake the rest of the night fearing that if he slept he would wake to find it was all just another dream. He had dreamed many times that he could walk only to wake disappointed. He wiggled his toes repeatedly and found not only could he wiggle the toes on his right foot but also his left. He tried his fingers but there was still no feeling there. But he was elated that finally something was happening. That he might actually be able to walk again.
Burt took Hutch straight to the physical therapy room. Dr. Kancel was waiting from them. Burt got Hutch out of the wheel chair and laid him on one of the exercise tables and pulled a curtain around them. Susan, Starsky and Jesse stood at the end of the bed while the doctor pulled out his tools. Just like before he started at Hutch's feet poking him with the sharp instrument. But unlike the times before Hutch grimaced at the sensation of being prodded.
"Can you feel that?" Dr. Kancel asked. Hutch nodded. "How about this?" The doctor moved from the bottom of his foot to the top. Hutch nodded again. "I'm going to work up your leg, you tell me when you can't feel it anymore."
Hutch nodded as he watched the doctor work his way up to his knee. That was where the feeling stopped. "There I can't feel you poking me anymore."
The Doctor nodded then went to Hutch's hand poking him in the palm of his right hand. "Feel that?" Hutch shook his head no. Dr. Kancel poked up his arm and across his chest. "How about that?" Again Hutch shook his head no.
"So what does this mean?" Susan asked the doctor.
He smiled at her. "It means that Mr. Hutchinson is on his way back. It might take some time. Slowly the feeling might move up or he could wake up tomorrow and have totally feeling. But don't fool yourself he will still have a lot of work to do with Burt. Even with all the therapy, it's still not like carrying your own weight or lifting things. You still have lost a lot of muscle tone Mr. Hutchinson." The doctor said.
Hutch nodded in understanding, he was eager to get to work with Burt. Susan, Starsky and Jesse left so Burt could work his magic promising that they would be back in a couple of hours to get him.
Starsky found Libby in the back yard pushing the girls on the swing set when he got home. "How's Hutch?" she asked the moment she saw him.
He explained to her what the doctor had said then asked. "How are you?"
"ME?" she cocked her head and looked at her husband. "I'm fine why?"
"It's just here we have this wonderful new life you are carrying around and it's been pushed to the back ground." He said looking into her eyes. He felt guilty over all the time he had been spending next door. Between that and work he had spent little alone time with Libby and the girls.
Libby could clearly see the guilt he was feeling. She put her hands on either side of his face, "Honey I understand, it's alright. We will have plenty of time to celebrate this baby, Hutch is the important thing right now."
Starsky pulled her into his arms. "You really are the best."
"It's not like I didn't know what I was getting to when I married you." She said softly. "I know how close the three of you are and I wouldn't change that for anything." Then she pulled back and looked at him again. "If this baby is a boy I want to name him Kenneth, is that alright with you?"
"Really? Hutch would love that." Starsky said scooping her up in his arms.
Libby giggled, "You won't be able to do that in a few months."
Sam and Deanna ran up to see what their parents were doing. "Pick me up, pick me up," Sam cried.
Deanna held up her tiny arms, "Me too," she begged.
Starsky laughed put down his wife and picked up his two daughters who both squealed in delight as he spun them around the yard.

Hutch struggled to push his foot against Burt's palm but nothing happened. His feet were tingling a bit as were his legs but he was still unable to push. He sighed and looked down at Burt who was concentrating as much as his patient was.
"Come on you can do it," Burt murmured to himself. He rarely got involved with his patients, it was just too hard when they didn't improve or even died but that was a rarity. Somehow it was hard to stay aloof from this man and his family and friends. It usually started out with everybody coming around and being supportive but as time would drag on people wouldn't come as much to visit and then finally stop all together. It hurt the morale of the patient. But these people were different they were there every step of the way. All of them had been at the hospital everyday when Hutch had been in and then one or more of them were always calling checking on his progress. Burt had never seen anything like it.
"I'm trying Burt I'm trying," Hutch grunted willing his legs to move.
"I know you are boss," he encouraged. "You'll get there, I promise."

~Chapter 10~

Hutch lay in bed it was almost noon he could hear his nurse Max in the kitchen fixing his lunch before he had to leave for the hospital and Burt. Davy was next door playing with Sammy and Deanna he spent most of his time there with Libby looking after him. Jesse had found a job at the local mall and was loving it. Susan and Starsky were at work, something he had no desire to go back to. He wiggled his toes for a few minutes the tingling sensation came and went. Every time he woke up he hoped that he would have more feeling but it had been almost a week since he had first been able to move his toes.
Max came in the den humming to herself carrying a tray of food. "Here ya go Hutch," she said smiling at him.
"I'm not hungry," he sighed. He didn't think he could take being fed like a baby one more meal.
"Oh sure you are you hardly touched your breakfast." Max said placing the tray next to the bed. "The van will be here in an hour. We need to get you dressed."
Hutch glared at her. "I'm not hungry."
Max sighed, "Fine but you are getting dress you don't want to keep the van waiting." She hoped that once she got him up and dressed that she could coax him into eating. This was the moodiest she had seen him in a while.

"How's he doing," was the first question that Starsky asked Susan when she sat down at her desk.
"I don't know," she said. "He's getting pretty down because nothing else has happened, it's almost been a week."
"I thought so," Starsky opened his sack of donuts he had grabbed on the way to work. Since Hutch had been hurt they usually went in together but Susan had driven her self in. At lunch she was planning on seeing Dr. Kancel.
"I'm going to have a talk with his doctor today." She explained.
"You want me to come with you?" Starsky asked as he offered her a donut.
She shook her head to the donut and said. "I'll be fine, why don't you drop in on Lib's at lunch. You guys haven't been spending much time together."
"Yeah I know," Starsky said with a guilty look. "But she's ok with it, she understands."
"Well there is a difference between understanding and liking it." Susan grinned at him. "Go see your wife at lunch."

Susan sat in Dr. Kancel's office waiting for the doctor to return. Tired of sitting she got up and began looking at the framed certificates and diplomas on his walls. Then she checked out the books in his bookshelf and finally the photos of his family. There was one lovely picture of him, his wife and children all sitting in front of what appeared to be their house in the grass. They were a handsome looking family. She felt her heart squeeze a bit wondering if her family would ever get to be normal again. Sure they would get use to Hutch always being in a wheel chair and she wouldn't love him any less but it was hard not to think about all the things they would never be able to do as a family.
She looked at her watch, the doctor was now twenty minutes late and she wasn't going to be able to wait much longer. Signing she sat down again, this time her thoughts turned to Starsky. She tried not to think of him too often for she did truly love Hutch but she also loved Starsky much to her dismay. She had tried hard to forget her feelings but when she was with him everyday it was impossible. But they always kept their feelings well hide and in check.
Susan jumped at the sound of the doctor's voice as he rushed in the office carrying a cup of coffee in hand and a half an eaten sandwich in the other. "I'm so sorry I'm late, " he apologized. "I got caught up in a consultation at the last minute and couldn't get away."
"I understand, Dr. Kancel," Susan smiled at him.
"Well what can I do for you?" he asked sitting down at his desk.
"It's about Hutch. Why isn't there anymore progress?" she asked close to tears. The last few days had been stressful she could start to feel him slipping away again.
The doctor sighed. "I'm going to be direct with you Mrs. Hutchinson. I don't think it's physical anymore. All his test are normal, he is healed from the other wounds, the swelling is totally gone."
"Are you saying you think this is a mental thing?" She asked hiking up her eyebrows. "Are you trying to tell me my husband doesn't want to walk again? Is that what you are trying to tell me? He wants to sit in that chair for the rest of his life?" Susan's voice kept getting higher and higher she felt like she was on the verge of hysterics.
The doctor got up and came around his desk to perch on the edge. He took Susan's hand. Listen, Susan." He said kindly. "I don't think this is a willing choice. There is something holding him back. He wants to walk just as much as you but for some reason he's not."
She took a deep breath trying to regain some composure. "Do you think he needs a shrink?"
He smiled at her use of the word. Then he said, "Let me talk to Burt see what he can get out of your husband. I think Burt can get him talking quicker, they already have that connection. Burt can do it with out Mr. Hutchinson even knowing what he's doing."
Susan nodded. "Thank you, I'm sorry I kind of fell apart there."
Dr. Kancel patted her hand, "It's all right. You are going through this too. I'll talk to Burt now, I think your husband is due in here anytime."
"I had better get out of here then don't want him to see me. Thank you again." Susan left the office. Once she was in her car the tears came and this time she didn't try to hold them back. She sobbed sitting there all alone, it had been a while since she had really cried. She wanted to be strong for Hutch and if he saw her falling apart it would only make him feel worse.
Finally the tears subsided and Susan drove herself back to work. She almost wished she had let Starsky come with her but she knew she had to quit leaning on him in bad times. Once back at work she went straight to the bathroom to make herself presentable before going to her desk. Susan found Starsky was not back yet or at least wasn't at his desk. She pulled out some paper work but her mind kept wandering back to her conversation with the doctor. Susan wondered why that even subconsciously Hutch would not want to get well.

Burt was waiting out side when the bus brought Hutch to the hospital. Usually Hutch had a smile for him but today he just sat listlessly while the driver lowered his chair to the pavement on the lift. "I'll take him," Burt told the orderly that stepped forward to wheel Hutch to his appointment. "Hey boss how we doing to day?" He asked Hutch.
"Ok I guess," Hutch mumbled.
"Having a bad day?" Burt questioned as he rolled him toward the automatic doors.
"Naww..not really," Hutch sighed. "Just don’t feel like doing this today. It doesn't seem to help anyway."
"Oh it helps more than you know," Burt explained, "You'll notice the difference when you get back on your feet." Hutch just snorted. "Hey you know what boss? I don't feel like doing this either today."
Hutch looked up at him in surprise. Burt never let him get away with being lazy before. "You feeling ok Burt?"
Burt laughed. "Feeling just fine. It's a beautiful day out lets go for a walk what do you say?"
"A walk?" Hutch laughed.
"Ok ok a push then," Bert joked. "There is this nice little park a couple of blocks from here, even has an ice cream stand. You game?"
"Sure any thing is better than going in that hospital. I have see enough of it to last a life time." Hutch said.
After getting to the park Burt bought them each an ice cream cone then sat down on a part bench pulling Hutch close so he could hold the cone for him. "This is nice." Hutch said letting the sun beat down on his face. He liked being with Burt, even though he felt like he let him down sometimes. But it wasn't like letting his family and friends down.
"So what's up boss?" Burt asked with out looking at him.
Hutch shrugged, he didn't even feel like lying and saying things were fine. "Just tired of all this."
"Yeah I guess it would get tiring," Burt admitted. "I can't pretend I know what you are going through but it has to be rough for your whole life to change over night. Can't move nothing but your head, missing out on doing things with your family, not able to work anymore." Hutch flinched when Burt said work and the man caught the look. "I know how important work is to you, you must miss it."
Hutch hesitated for a moment then said, "Not really."
"No? I thought you loved being a cop."
"But I'm not a cop anymore, I sit behind a desk and yell at cops." Hutch said down hearted. When the job of captain came up he had jumped at it but as time went on he found it just wasn't the job he wanted to be doing.
"Why don't you go back to being a detective then?" Burt asked holding Hutch's cone up for him to lick.
"Susan, Starsky and I used to all be partners but if I quit being captain I would get another partner. I checked once. I wouldn't be allowed to go back with them." He took a couple of licks at the ice cream not because he really wanted it but he didn't want it to drip on Burt's hand.
"Why you were all three together before."
"We have a new commissioner he's a bit of a hard ass by the book type guy said he didn't need three detectives in one car." Hutch explained. "Said if I left captain he wanted to put me with a new detective to teach them the ropes."
"So captain isn't what you hoped it would be," Burt asked.
Hutch shrugged, "I don't know after five years I’m tried of it. I like the streets feeling like I make a difference not sitting behind a desk shuffling papers."
"Then quit," Burt said simply.
"I can't do that."
"Sure you can, why not?" Burt said. "I'm sure there has to be something else you can do. Have you talked to your wife about this?"
Hutch shook his head. "We don’t really talk about stuff we kind of talk around it. I don't think she always knows what to say."
"This is hard on her too you know," Burt said.
"I know," Hutch frowned. "Maybe more so."
"You done with this?" Burt asked holding up the dripping cone. Hutch nodded, he went to throw them away when he came back he said. "You ready to head back?"
"Yeah I guess." Hutch answered. "Thanks Burt this was nice. I like our talks."
"Anytime boss, call me night or day." Burt said as he began pushing Hutch back to the hospital.

~Chapter 11~

Just before quitting time the phone rang on Susan's desk, "Carlston," she said into the receiver.
"Excuse me I'm looking for Detective Hutchinson." Said a familiar voice on the other end.
"Dr. Kancel?" she asked.
"Yes. I'm looking for Susan Hutchinson."
Susan laughed, "This is, I go by my maiden name at work. Less confusion."
"Well not for me, " the doctor chuckled. "Burt had a very interesting talk with your husband this afternoon. And after discussing the conversation with Burt and our resident psychiatrist we feel what is keeping your husband from walking is not wanting to go back to work."
"What?" Susan eyes widened. This was the first she had ever heard of this. Granted they hadn't done much talking about any thing important unless it had something to do with the kids, mainly Jesse's college. But he had never even hinted at not wanting to go back to work.
Starsky came in and plopped down across from Susan resting his feet on his desk. "Hutch?" he mouthed, she shook her head.
She covered the receiver, "The doctor." Starsky frown wondering what he could be telling her. He knew it couldn't be anything good by the serious expression on her face.
"Susan?" the doctor said. "You still there?
"Sorry, my partner just came in," she replied. "Is there anything I can do?"
"If there was some way you could convince him that he didn't have to or need to go back to work at least at what he was doing. That might be enough to ease his mind and let his body take over."
"I'll do what I can," Susan said. "Tell Burt thank you and thanks to you too."
As soon as Susan hung up the phone Starsky said, "What was that all about."
"Well it seems that Hutch not being able to walk is all in his head. Dr. Kancel had Burt talk to Hutch he figured it might be easier for him to talk to somebody he already knew." Susan explained.
"And?" Starsky prompted.
"Seems from what they got, Hutch does not want to go back to work. I guess he thinks if he stays paralyzed that he won't have to," Susan said.
"You mean he's faking?" Starsky huffed. "Why that little…."
Susan shook her head, "It's more complicated than that. From what the doctor says Hutch doesn't even realize that he is keeping himself from walking. This isn't physical it's mental."
"I see…I think," Starsky looked as puzzled as Susan felt. "He hates his job?" Susan shrugged. "He's never really complained before just normal stuff like all of us."
"Well I guess there is a lot more to it that we never knew." Susan said. "So now what? How do we bring this subject up with him?"
"Let me," Starsky said. "We need to do a little guy talk."
"Ok," Susan agreed. "Why don't you, Libby and the girls come over tonight for dinner."

Starsky thought for a moment then shook his head. "I think maybe a guy's night out might be the ticket. We haven't been to The Pit's since he was hurt. To night is the night."
"I don’t think he'll go for it." Susan said giving him a doubtful look.
"Well he's not going to have a choice in the matter. Call Max tell her to make sure he is dressed in something to go out." Starsky said. "I'll be there to pick him up right after work."
Susan smiled, "Maybe I'll see if Libby wants to take the kids to a movie, we haven't done that in ages either."
"I think she would like that. It's about time we get back to living our lives." Starsky said. "Then maybe Hutch will too. I don't see him wanting to be left behind."

After much persuading Hutch finally relented and agreed to go out with Starsky to The Pits. Susan had called Huggy to make sure that he would be at their old hang out that night. Huggy was delighted to hear that they would be dropping in and promised to be there.
Hutch grumbled all the way to the bar. The last thing he wanted to be was put on "display" as he put it for everybody they knew. Starsky assured him that he would not be on display that Huggy would save them a booth in the back.
Once they arrived Hutch sat for a while in the car not wanting to get out. Starsky waiting patiently while his friend fought with the demons with in. Finally after a good fifteen minutes Hutch said, "OK I'm ready or as ready as I'm ever going to be."
Starsky grinned and jumped out of the car to get he wheel chair out of the trunk. He had even dusted off the Torino for the occasion. He wheeled the chair around to the passenger side, got Hutch out of the car and into the chair.
As they entered the bar a huge cheer went up from the crowd, Hutch gave Starsky a dark look. "Hey I had nothing to do with this." Starsky stammered. "The only person that knew we were coming was Huggy."
"Huggy," Hutch glared at the barkeeper. Huggy just smiled and shrugged at him.
"I got you a nice booth in the back." Huggy said. "And your dinner is cooking."
Hutch sighed this was becoming a production the last thing he wanted. As Starsky pushed him through the bar well-wishers patted him on the shoulder. Finally they reached the table Starsky got Hutch into the booth and slid in next to him. Huggy sat three beers on the table and sat down across from them.
"How's it going?" he asked looking at Hutch.
"It's going," Hutch replied.
Huggy glanced over at Starsky who just shook his head sadly.
They spent a couple of hours at the bar. Several people came over to speak to Hutch. After a few beers and eating Starsky asked Hutch if he would like to go for a drive before they went home. Hutch agreed eager to get out of the bar.
They drove the streets for a while then Starsky said, "Let's go down to the beach and park."
"Why Starsky I never knew you felt like that," Hutch teased.
Starsky grinned in the darkness it had been a long time since his old friend had sounded like him self. "Well I took you out to dinner, now it's time you pay up," Starsky quipped.
"Yeah yeah, go sell it to somebody else I'm not that kind of guy." Hutch shot back at him. He was also grinning. It was so easy to lose himself riding around in Starsky's striped tomato just like old times. He missed it more than he even knew until now. He sighed and looked out the window. A breeze blew his blonde hair off his forehead. And even though it had gray in it now he suddenly felt young and free again. "Hey Starsky just keep driving for a while," Hutch said not ready to stop. He had a feeling a talk was coming and he didn't want to hear it just yet.
"Sure thing partner," Starsky said then joked. "You want me to turn the siren on?"
Hutch started laughing loudly, "Sure go for it."
"It's still in the glove box grab…" then he stopped. Hutch couldn't grab it and slap in on the top of the car like he use to. Starsky leaned over opened the glove box and got out the red globe.
"That's all right," Hutch said softly. "Don't bother."
Starsky could kick himself the jovial mood had been lost. He pulled off the road where they could watch the tide come it. Since it was a full moon the beach was nicely lit. He wished that he could get Hutch out of the car but the wheel chair would have been impossible to push in the sand. For a few moments they sat in silence listening to the waves.
"So did the doctor say when you might be able to go back to work?" Starsky asked. He knew is was a stupid question but he just wasn't sure how to broach the subject with out coming right out and telling him Susan had been talking to the doctor.
Hutch looked over at his partner, "You got to be kidding me Starsk. I can't even move more than my toes and you want to know when I'm going back to work?"
Starsky sighed. "I'm sorry, it's just well…"
"Why don't you just asked me what you want to asked me and quit dancing around it?" Hutch asked.
"Fine," Starsky said. He took a deep breath, "Do you like being Captain?"
Hutch frowned for a moment wondering where that had come from. Then without further hesitation he answered, "No."
"NO?" Starsky said trying to sound surprised. "I thought you loved it."
"What I love is being on the streets riding with you and Susan. Making a difference, not sitting behind a damn desk filling out paper work and ordering fellow officers around." Hutch managed to get out all in one breath. He seemed surprised at himself when he finished and fell silent.
"This a recent revelation?"
At first he thought Hutch wasn't going to answer him but finally he spoke. "No not really, it was ok at first but then after a while I began to miss you guys. I don't know how Dobey did it for so many years." Hutch revealed. "I guess getting hurt just made me realized how unhappy I am being a captain."
"Then don't" Starsky stated.
Hutch kind of laughed. "I can't go back riding with you and Susan I ready asked."
"You did?"
"Yeah a while back. They want to team me with a new detective if I give up captain so that I can show them the ropes." Hutch said.
"And you don't want to do that."
"Not really, if I can't be with the two of you I would just rather quit." Hutch said softly.
"Quit!"
"Just like that."
"Just like that, why not? Find something else to do. You sure wouldn't be the first man to change careers you know." Starsky said, it tore at his heart to think of his buddy leaving the force for he knew how much he loved it or use to love it. And how much he would miss him.
"At my age? I'm too old to just start over." Hutch frowned.
"Who said anything about starting over." Starsky said. "What about teaching? You did that once surely some school would want some old washed up cop to teach a class." Starsky held his breath not sure how Hutch would take being called old and washed up.
But Hutch started laughing, the moment they had lost was recaptured in an instant. "Who you calling old?"
Starsky laughed with him. "You know even if you don't regain movement you can still teach. You don't need your legs and arms to give a class your knowledge you know."
Hutch was nodding thoughtfully. "You know what buddy? You are right."

~Chapter 12~

Susan couldn't believe the change in Hutch that evening when Starsky brought him home. They were joking and laughing as Starsky pushed him up the side walk to the door.
Hutch smiled as soon opened the door, "How's my girl?" he asked grinning at her.
"Looks like you two had a good time." She beamed at Starsky who gave her the OK sign over the top of Hutch's head so he couldn’t see.
"We had an all right time." Starsky huffed. "I took him to dinner and everything and he wouldn't put out at the beach."
"UH?" Susan said looking first at her husband then to Starsky both of them were smiling like little boys caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
"Never mind you would have to be there." Hutch said. "Hey Starsky mind giving me a hand?"
Starsky shrugged. "I guess if I have too." But both Starsky and Susan were stunned. It had been the first time Hutch and ever asked for help without it being in a begrudging tone. Starsky rolled him into the den, helped him with his clothes then into bed. "Anything else you need?"
Hutch shook his head, "Just send Susan in when you two are done talking about me."
Starsky rolled his eyes, "You got it partner."
Starsky found Susan sitting in the living room, "What in the world have you two been doing?"
"Talking mostly." Starsky told her. "We had some rough moments but it turned out ok."
"OK? This is the best I have seen him. What in the world did you say to him?" she asked.
"It was simple. I told him he should quit his job and find something else to do." Starsky smiled at her.
Susan threw her arms around him neck, "Thank you Starsk," she whispered hugging him tightly.
Starsky hugged her back then pushed her away from him and looked into her eyes. Every time he looked at her like that she got lost in his blue eyes. They looked at each other intently drinking in and saying everything they couldn't say out loud and for a moment Susan thought he was going to kiss her lips. He leaned down and she could feel his breath on her face. Then he hesitated for only a second and kissed her cheek. There were tears in both of their eyes as he step away from her. "I better go," he said hoarsely.
"You are a life saver, his and mine." She murmured wanting him not to go but knowing that he had too.
"I think we finally have our partner back." He said just as he was leaving. "He wants to see you." With one last longing look back Starsky went out into the night.
Susan walked slowly toward the den. She hoped that Hutch wouldn't be up set if he found out that she had talked to the doctor. "Hi ya," she said poking her head into the room.
He smiled at her. "Get in here you."
Susan went and stood next to the bed. "So you and Starsk had a good time uh?"
"Yeah, we had a long talk too. I'm sure he told you." Hutch looked at her trying to read what she was thinking.
"We talked."
"You talked to Burt too."
She knew he had figured it out. Susan shook her head, "No I didn't talk to Burt. I talked to Dr. Kancel. He said there was something bothering you."
"And the two of you use Burt to find out what it was."
She nodded, "you mad?"
"Naa…relieved really."
Susan looked at him lovingly. "Honey why didn't you just tell me you didn't want to go back to the station? You know I don't care what you do. You could stay at home and look after the kids if you want."
He gave her a lopsided smile. "Yeah I could but Starsk gave me a better idea. Remember when I was teaching for a while?"
Remember? How could she forget? She had gone in to take a criminology class at a college back east and he had been teaching the class. It had been months since they had seen each other and it had been a shock to see him standing in front of the black board. "You know I remember." She said curling up on the bed next to him." Her heart ached for him as she snuggled against him. And she felt guilty for the moment with Starsky. Those moments didn't happen often they wouldn't allow it. But it seemed in times of great stress or saddness they let their guard down.
He kissed the top of her head. "I want to teach again. What do you think? Starsky said it wouldn't even matter if I ever walked again. I don't need to if I teach."
She felt little fingers of fear squeeze her heart at his words. "You are going to walk again," she said almost breathless. "So don't even talk like that."
"Yeah, I will," he said kissing her head again. They talked for a while longer and then both fell asleep.

Around one a.m. Jesse tip toed into the den to find her parents sleeping. She smiled as she covered her mother with a quilt lying at the foot of the bed. Neither of them knew that she had applied to UCAL. She just didn't see how she could leave town with things the way they were. And the one thing that her parents didn't understand was that she needed to be close to her father right now. She had come so close to losing him that thoughts of not seeing him for months at a time frighten her. She had suddenly realized that they were not invincible.
When she had been younger her mother, father and Starsky had kind of been super heroes to her. Nothing could hurt them and they always got the bad guy no matter what. Jesse to her surprise also realized that she didn't want to leave Davy. He was a pest and drove her nuts some times but she loved him and would miss him terribly if she left.
She gave the quilt one last tug then left the den turning out the light. She went back to her room to finish the letter she was writing to her best friend Cassie. Cassie and her family had moved away when they both had been nine. The girls had been devastated when they heard the news but had survived and visited each other at holidays and during the summer. But of course this summer was different and Jesse had asked Cassie to please understand when she asked her not to come. Of course Cassie was sympathetic and told Jess maybe later on in the summer or when they had Thanksgiving break.
Jesse sealed the letter and put a stamp on it. Then put her nightie on, she crawled into bed but instead of turning out the light she lay there thinking. Wondering why this had to happen to her father. She wished there was more she could do. But he hated her waiting on him the only thing he would allow her to do was to read to him. Finally Jesse turned out her light but it was a long time before she slept.

Hutch was lying in her arms, his wound was bleeding profusely she could feel the life flowing out of him. She began to rock him, crying, wishing somebody would come and help them. There had to be some kind of help close. She looked around franticly but the street was dark and deserted. She called his name but there was no response, she felt for a pulse but there was none. She held him against her chest crying bitterly.
"It's ok honey, it's only a dream," said a voice.
Susan tried to break out of the nightmare that gripped her. She took a ragged breath as she brought her hand to her face it was wet with tears. Susan had been having the same nightmare since Hutch had been shot but this was the first time he had been witness to it.
"Sh-h-h," he said softly. "It's ok."
A hand stroked her head, trying to calm her. Suddenly it dawned on her that it was Hutch who was touching her. She sat up and flipped on the light, she looked down at her hand, and Hutch's hand was clasp in it. But not limply he was actually holding her hand and his other hand was entwined in her hair.
"Don't cry I'm alright, I'm here." He cooed to her.
"Hutch," She said softly holding up their clasped hands. "Look." Now the tears running down Susan's face were tears of joy. She took his other hand in her hair and held it. "Can you feel this?"
Hutch nodded his head as tears coursed down his face. "Yes I can feel you holding my hand." He squeezed her hand back, there wasn't a lot of strength there but he was moving his fingers, hands and arms.

~Chapter 13~

Starsky slowly climbed the stairs to the bedroom he shared with Libby. He was hoping she would be asleep, the last thing he wanted to do at this moment was to have to answer any questions. The interlude he had with Susan, even if it had been small and nothing happened was all he wanted to think of for the moment.
He stopped at the top of the stairs and let him mind drift back to the time they had been snowbound in Dobey's cabin. It had been their chance, their only chance but their love for Hutch had kept them from doing what they wanted to in their hearts. It had been just them, nobody would have known. Damn he thought if he would have just won that toss that night at the nightclub then he would have been the one dancing with Susan. Then maybe he would have realized that he was in love with her and pursued her. But instead he handed her on a silver platter to Hutch. There had been several occasions that he could have professed his love to her but he didn't and now it was too late for both of them.
"Everything OK?" said a voice that interrupted his thoughts.
Starsky sighed, "Yeah, I think everything is going to be just fine."
Libby knew that far away look in his eyes all to well. And she knew just whom he was thinking about. It hurt more than she would care to admit but she had learned to live with it. He didn't zone out on her often and she knew that he had been under a great deal of stress of late. "Come on lets go to bed." She said linking her arm through his. She knew better than to even try to question him when he was like this. He just nodded they went into the bedroom closing the door. That night Libby tried everything she knew to make him forget.

Hutch grinned at Burt as he pushed against the man's palm with the bottom of his foot. There wasn't a lot of force but at least he was able to finally do it. "Good job boss," Burt complimented his patient. He moved to his arms. "Ok squeeze my hand."
Hutch closed his fingers around Burt's hand. Then grinned at him again. "I'm coming back." He said delightedly.
"Hey didn't I tell you?" Burt moved to the other side and had him do the same with the other hand. "Doc Kancel wants to talk a look at you today."
"I guess he's going to poke me some more uh?" Hutch asked. Burt nodded. "That is starting to hurt," he joked but he was glad it hurt. There was numbness about his whole body now. He was anxious to get up on his feet and get moving. He told Burt as much.
"It's going to be slow going. You have to build your muscles back up. As soon as the doc gives the go ahead we will start getting those arms back in shape. Your body weight is going be resting on them while we work on your legs." He pointed to a man across the room that was walking slowly using parallel bars. "Hope to have you doing that soon."
Hutch looked to where Burt was pointing. The man was just barely shuffling along. He made a face as he watched his painful progress. Hutch looked back to Burt. "Let's get busy then."
The next day when Hutch came to see Burt the man took him right to the weight area. Dr. Kancel after seeing Hutch the day before had given Burt the OK to start weight training.
Burt took off a one pound weight and handed it to Hutch. "Careful boss."
"I can handle a pound, " Hutch scoffed as he took the weight. He promptly dropped it.
Burt shook his head and picked up the weight. "I told you. It's not going to take long to build back your muscles. They are still there just really weak." Burt sat down next to Hutch and with help Hutch was able to pump the weight several times. With in a week he had enough strength back in his arms that he was able to feed himself.
When Hutch was sure he could eat alone he had Susan invite Starsky and his family over so that he could show off. He was also able to now sit in a chair only using the wheelchair to get from place to place. Hutch had kept it a secret how well he was doing only Susan was aware of his progress.
Starsky sat down next to Hutch prepared to help him as he usually did when he was over. But to his surprise Hutch picked up his fork. Hutch glanced at Starsky who was sitting with his mouth hanging open. "You have been holding out on me," Starsky grinned. "How long have you been able to do this?"
"Week or so," Hutch said proudly.
"That's terrific," Libby exclaimed. She didn't look well, she had dark circles under her eyes and was looking thin even though the baby was starting to show. Libby was in her third month of her pregnancy, usually by this time her morning sickness had passed and she was feeling great. But with this pregnancy she was still feeling ill most of the time. She had just chalked it up to the stress they had all been under with Hutch.
"Ready for a morning run?" Starsky teased knowing full well that they were along way from that.
Hutch grinned, "I'll race ya to the living room just as soon as I finish eating."
"It's a deal," Starsky said holding out his hand for Hutch to shake. It was so good to feel his partner's hand in his own again.
After dinner Hutch, Starsky and the kids decided to play Monopoly leaving the two women to clean up the dishes. They had just brought in the last dish to the kitchen when Libby leaned against the counter to get her balance. She let out a whoosh of air as she steadied herself.
"Are you alright," Susan questioned looking at her friend.
Libby nodded as she pushed a strand of red hair out of her face. "Yeah just tired. "Running after Sam and Deanna all day long is wearing me out."
"And you have Davy over there most of the time too." Susan sympathized. "I think he needs to say at home more. Max is here during the day."
"Oh don’t do that." Libby smiled at her. "He's a great help and keeps the girls busy most of the time."
"I know Starsk hasn't been much help. He's over here all the time." Susan said as she rinsed a plate and placed it in the dishwasher.
"He needs to be with Hutch." Libby handed her another plate. "Hey I knew what I was getting into when I married him. He came as a package."
"Some package." Susan chuckled. "I think I would more call it excess baggage."
There was shouting from the living room. They both looked at each other and burst out laughing. "I guess they are fighting over Park Place again." Libby giggled. She suddenly went pale, Susan noticed and grabbed a chair from the kitchen table sliding it under Libby just before she sat down.
"Libby have you been to the doctor?" Susan asked concerned for her friend. She filled a glass of water handing it to Libby.
"I have an appointment next week." She answered taking a drink and closing her eyes. "I'm just tried. And worried about Hutch." She didn't add she was worried about Starsky too. Susan just really wasn't the one she should be discussing Starsky with especially when it had to do with Susan.
"I think you can stop worrying about Hutch." Susan smiled as the thought of how much progress he had made now in such a short time. "Our weekend off Jess and I will entertain the girls so you and Starsky and have a two days to yourself."
Libby beamed at her. "That sounds wonderful. You think Hutch is up to a house full of screaming kids?"
"I think he would love it."
"I'm not going to argue with you it sounds like heaven." Libby said handing the glass back to Susan. Her color was beginning to return.
"If you keep feeling bad I want you to see if you can move your appointment up." Susan said sternly. "Promise me."
Libby got up from the chair, "I promise, OK?" she said. "We better get these dishes cleaned up and get out there before they kill each other."
By the time they were done and got into the living room Starsky was waving around his book on Monopoly. "We just can't leave them alone for a second." Susan sighed.
"I think Uncle Starry is trying to cheat," Davy proclaimed.
"Davy!" Susan said horrified. "That's not nice to say."
"Well he is," piped up Sam," Who still wasn't really sure how to play but she went along with anything Davy said.
Libby shook her head. "Ok I think it's time to go home before a fight brakes out."
"Awwwww." Starsky teased. "We were just starting to have fun."
As the Starsky family was leaving Susan pulled Starsky aside. "Hey Starsk have you noticed how bad Libby is looking?"
"She says she is just tried." He answered.
"Same line she gave me but I don't buy it." Susan said. "Libby says she has a doctor appointment next week I think you need to go with her."
"Yeah I have been meaning to go but you know." Starsky answered with a guilty look.
"Well Hutch is doing just fine now. I think it's time you start concentrating on your wife." She said. "She needs you. I told her that we'll take the kids for the weekend take her some place nice uh?"
Starsky smiled at her. "Great idea. Thanks." He hugged her quickly and was gone.

~Chapter 14~

Hutch sat in his wheelchair looking down the length of the parallel bars. He was almost up to normal strength in his arms. He had the feeling back into all parts of his body and was ready to walk. Burt had him for the last few weeks working with weights on his legs to get his muscles built up before he tried walking. Hutch reached down and locked the wheels on his chair, he focused on the two bars in front of him.
"You aren't thinking of doing that with out me are ya boss." Said a voice behind him.
Hutch jumped slightly and looked up at Burt who was hovering over him. He laughed. "Now would I do that? I was just warming up."
"Yeah sure you were," Burt chuckled. "Ok you ready boss?"
"You bet I have been waiting for this day for a long time." Hutch answered. He moved his foot off the chair foot rests. Burt flipped them up so that Hutch wouldn’t stumble on them. After taking a deep breath he place a hand on each bar. Burt steadied him as Hutch pulled himself up. He stood there for a few moments, to his amazement his legs were holding him. The last few nights Hutch and been having nightmares about falling when he stood for the first time.
"How ya feeling boss?" Burt asked still holding him around the waist.
"Not bad."
"Want to try to take a step?" Hutch nodded. "Don't worry boss I'll be right here to catch you old Burt won't let you fall."
Hutch had to smile when the man had said "old Burt" Burt couldn't have been much older than he was if any. "I know you won't." Suddenly Hutch wished that Starsky were there. They had always been there for each other no matter what. He couldn’t even remember a time that Starsky wasn't there for him or that he wasn't there for Starsky.
Slowly Hutch moved his right foot forward, he took a step his knee felt like it might buckle. Burt tighten his grip, "Go on I got ya."
Hutch nodded and took another step then another. "He looked over his shoulder. "I'm walking Burt."
"That you are boss," the black man grinned has his patient. "You still have a ways to go before you can set out on your own. Once we get you walking good on here I'll put you on a walker?"
"Walker?" Hutch said horrified. All he could see was little old people shuffling around with their squeaky walkers. "I don't know about that Burt."
"Hey boss you are still going to need support. You shouldn't be on it too long. I just want to make sure you won't fall on your face. Then we will move you over to a cane.
"Alright Burt." Hutch agreed the last thing he wanted to do was go backward. And if he had to use a walker to get where he wanted to be then so be it. But he wasn't going to like it.
That day by the time physical therapy was over Hutch was exhausted, his arms, legs and even his back hurt but he reveled in it. It was better than feeling nothing at all. He couldn't wait until the next day and the next he could finally see an end in sight.

Hutch sat on the couch almost dozing when Max brought in the mail. She softly sat it on the coffee table then left the room. Hutch opened one eye to see what she had placed on the table. He was about to doze off again when the top letter caught his eye. It was a thick white envelope the return address was what drew him to it. UCLA who was getting mail from UCLA? He had been relieved when he realized that he didn't have to go back to the police force and he had been contemplating on which colleges to write to. But as of yet he hadn't composed at letter. He wanted to be completely back on his feet first.
Hutch leaned over and retrieved the letter from the table. It was addressed to Jesse. His heart almost stopped what could they be sending her. She had already been accepted at UC in Cincinnati and would be leaving at the end of August. He resisted the temptation to open it and tossed it back on the coffee table. He would talk to Jesse about it when she got home from work.
Susan came home from work to find Hutch sound asleep on the couch. She leaned over the back of the couch and kissed the top of his head then headed to the kitchen to start dinner. Max was just gathering up her things when Susan entered the kitchen. "Hi Max, how's he doing?"
"I think Burt really tired him out today, he's been sleeping since he got home." She said as she slipped her purse over her shoulder. "I guess you won't be needing me much longer."
Susan smiled at her. "We will miss you, Max."
"Thanks I'll miss you all too." Max answered. "That little Davy is a hoot I'll tell you."
Susan laughed, "Yep just like the guy he was named for."
As Max pushed the kitchen door open they heard angry voices from the living room. The two women went to see what was going on. They found Jesse standing next to the couch with her hands on her hips and Hutch waving a letter at her. Hutch turned when he heard his wife come in. "Did you know about this?" he stormed at her.
"Know about what?" Susan asked puzzled.
"This damn letter." He was now waving it toward her.
Susan stepped forward taking the letter from him. She looked at it then looked at Jesse. "You applied to UCLA?"
"She not only applied she was accepted and these are her enrollment papers." Hutch barked snatching them back.
"You were accepted at UC, Jess." Susan said incredulous.
"It's my life I can do go school where I want." Jesse yelled.
"And I'm paying for it!" Hutch shouted.
"I think we need to calm down," Susan said worried about her husband.
"I'm fine," he lashed out knowing what she was thinking. He wasn't about to let their daughter flush her dreams. He looked at Jesse. "Is this about Cassie? Is she coming to UCLA?"
"No Daddy, she is going to Arizona State."
"OK then it has to be a boy."
"Daddy will you stop there is no boy. I have hardly had time to date this year give me a break. Besides I’m not about to let some guy decide my life." Jesse shouted back.
"Then what the hell is it?" Hutch wished he could get up and shake some sense into his hardheaded daughter.
Jesse looked at him for a moment then dissolved into tears. She had never heard him so angry at least not at her. She ran out of the room and went into the back yard. Susan started after her.
"No," Hutch said. "I'm going get me in that damn chair.
Max helped him in to the chair before she left. Hutch rolled himself toward the kitchen. Susan held the kitchen door open for him. They could see Jesse sitting out side in the swing they had hung from a tree years ago. That was always her favorite spot as a child especially when she was upset. Hutch pushed open the patio doors and rolled out onto the ramp that Starsky had made so that they could get the wheelchair in and out easier. Susan slid the door shut and watched as her husband maneuvered his chair toward Jesse. Then she set about the task of making dinner.
Jesse was still sniffing as Hutch rolled up next to her. She looked at him with red rimmed eyes. "Daddy please don’t make me go away to college."
"But Jess I don't understand." He said confused. "You were so excited about going to Ohio just a few months ago." Then Hutch stopped as understanding dawned on him. "You are staying because of me?"
Slowly Jesse nodded her head yes. "Daddy I don't want to leave you."
"I'm doing just fine honey." He said taking her hand he hadn't planned on telling anybody just yet but he suddenly wanted to tell his daughter. "Jess I walked today."
"Really?" She smiled.
"Well with help. Burt got me practicing on the parallel bars." Hutch said. "Once I build up more strength then I'll move to a walker and finally to a cane. Then from there I'll be home free. So you see I'm going to be just like new."
"Daddy it's not that." She said getting out of the swing and kneeling in front of him. "I have my school years to be with you. After that I'll be on my own, get married have a family of my own. If going to school here so that I can be close to you is the only sacrifice I ever have to make in my life then I'll count my self lucky."
"But honey," Hutch said softly smoothing her hair. "I don't want you making a sacrifice like that. You are just starting out in life."
"But I don't want my life not to include you and mom right now. I need my family." She sighed. "I just wish you could understand that."
Hutch smiled at her. "I do understand that more than you will ever know. But we will see each other."
"Yeah a few weeks here and there," Jesse whispered. "It won't be the same."
"Nothing stays the same sweetie." Hutch tilted her chin up so that he could look into her eyes. It was like looking in a mirror, she had the same blue eyes that he had.
"But why can't it stay the same for a few more years?" she said with pleading eyes. "I just want more time. I guess I never realized how precious you, mom and Davy are to me. It took you getting hurt to make me see that my family is the most important thing in my life. I can go to school anywhere I can't get a new family."
Hutch's own eyes filled with tear as he looked into the beautiful face of his daughter. How could he fault her when he had been dreading her leaving himself? It was hard enough to let her go but now that she didn't want to go it was even more difficult.
"Let's just put this all on hold right now." Hutch suggested. "You have a month and half things might change."
Jesse looked doubtful but she agreed. She got up on her knees and put her arms around Hutch. "I love you Daddy."
"I love you too Jess."

~Chapter 15~

Jesse tossed the tennis ball high in the air and pounded it across the net. The ball swished past narrowly missing Starsky. "Take a easy Jess."
"Sorry Uncle Starry," She grinned. Her years and years of tennis lessons were showing. It was early Saturday morning, this was their summer ritual or it had been in past summers but this had been the first Saturday they had played all summer. Starsky had called his goddaughter late Friday evening asking if he would be up for a few games of tennis and some breakfast.
"I'm out of practice," he grunted as he served the ball back to her. Jesse returned it easily.
"You are just getting old, " she teased lovingly.
"If I didn't like you so much I would jump this net and spank you for that comment," Starsky teased back as he returned the ball.
Jesse went in for the kill again sending the ball hard back across the net. Starsky dove for it but missed. "Sorry." She said for the hundredth time.
"Good shot," he said panting a bit. "You about ready for breakfast?"
Jesse grinned at him. "You giving up already?"
"Hey Libby and I are going away this afternoon I would at least to be able to stay wake through dinner." He quipped.
"Where you guys going?" Jesse asked as she zipped the cover over her racket.
Starsky shrugged. "I'm taking her up to San Luis Obispo. Your mom and dad took a little vacation there they loved it. I made a reservation for the same place they stayed."
"A motel uh? She winked at him.
"Jesse!" Starsky exclaimed as he gathered up the balls and put them into the can.
"What"? she asked innocently batting her eye lashes. "You think I don't know what goes on in motels?"
Starsky shook his head, "You aren't old enough to know."
She giggled. "Guess what I Have been watching R rated movies for years."
He shook his head again. "Anyway once you have kids it's more like just getting out of the house so you don't have to hear them fight and look at toys."
"You make marriage sound grand."
"So what's up with you and your dad?" Starsky asked as they walked to the car.
Jesse frowned at him. "What do you mean?"
"I heard the two of you got into a fight." Starsky answered, he took Jesse's keys and opened the trunk. They were riding around in her Mustang, top down and loving every minute of it.
"Been taking to Mom or Dad?" she asked. "I swear a girl has no secrets with this bunch."
"Actually it was Davy that told me." Starsky said. Davy had been the one who had met him and the door that morning brimming with the news. Colleges had been the hot topic in the house for several days now.
"Davy?" Jesse said hiking her eyebrows. "How would he know he was still over at Aunt Libby's."
"Ahhh you forget what big ears little kids have." Starsky said going around to the driver's side. "Remember when you used to know more about our cases than we did?"
Jesse smiled and held her hand out for the keys. Reluctantly he handed them over to her. "Oh yeah, I used to think I was a kiddy detective. I would day dream that I would get to go undercover for you guys."
"Are you ever going to let me drive this thing?" Starsky pouted as he got into the passenger side.
"Well if you are good, I'll think about it after breakfast." She started to turn the key but Starsky pulled it out of the ignition. "Hey!" She exclaimed.
"You going to tell me what the fight was about." He asked dangling the keys just out of reach.
"Don't make me hurt you," she warned. Jesse sighed when Starsky didn't hand over the keys. "He's mad because I put in an application into UCLA and was excepted."
"What?" Starsky said stunned. He lowered his arm and Jesse grabbed the keys from him. "But I thought you were all set for that school in Ohio."
"I am, I was… I don't know," Jesse said, she went to start the car but then let her hand drop. "I want to stay here at least this year. I'm not ready to leave."
"Hutch's accident spook you?" Starsky asked.
"I don’t think I would call that an accident." Jesse said looking at him.
"Ok so it wasn't an accident but it's no reason for you to screw up your plans."
"Daddy almost died." She said on the verge of tears.
"I know sweetie," Starsky said taking her hand. "But it wasn't the first time he has been hurt."
"I know that but I guess it's the first time that it hit home with me. You, mom and dad aren't invincible."
Starsky laughed, "You are just figuring that out now?"
"Don't you laugh at me," Jesse said angrily. "You guys were always super cops for me. Nothing got to you."
"Oh if you only knew my dear." Starsky said.
"Can't you talk to him for me? He'll listen to you." Jesse begged.
"I agree with him. You need to go away for school. You have never been any place but here. It's time you spread your wings, Hutch will still be here when you get back."
Jesse turned in her seat to look at her godfather. "Can you promise me that. Can you promise that some street punk isn't going to take a pot shot at him again? Or that a car isn't going to run down Davy. Or some drunk driver slam into Mom's car?" Tears filled her eyes as she spoke.
"Honey I can't promise you any of those things. You just don't know what is going to happen in life. But you can't stop living just because something awful might happen to the ones you love." Starsky told her. "And if you do stay how are you going to keep those things from happening?"
Jesse didn't have an answer for that she just knew that she wanted to stay at home.
Starsky tapped the key with his finger. "Let's go eat uh? I want to drive."
Jesse gave him half a smile and started the car. "I said if you were good."

"Now you girls be good," Libby admonished her two daughters.
"Well will be," Sam said.
"You guys got everything?" Libby asked fussing with Deanna's hair.
"For heaven sakes Libby," Susan laughed. "The girls will be fine. Stop worrying and go have a good time."
Libby for the first time in several days actually looked good. She had spent hours on her hair, make up and clothes. It had been forever since she and Starsky had been anywhere other than a burger joint or a pizza place with the kids. "Oh I know, you would think had never left them before."
"You haven't," Susan commented.
"Oh now that's not true and you know it. You kept Sam while I was having Deanna," Libby joked.
"I forgot that one." Susan hugged her friend. "Now go and have a good time will you? We'll see you two tomorrow after noon."
As Libby was leaving Starsky was coming up the sidewalk. "You ready?" he called.
"Yep," she grinned at him Libby felt like a high school girl going off on an illicit date. "We'll be back tomorrow afternoon."
"I know," Susan said shaking her head.
"If you need us you know where we'll be right?" Libby asked. Starsky hadn't told her where they were going but she had hoped that he had told Susan.
"Yes I know right where you are going. Starsky told me in fact I helped him out a little with the plans. Now will you go and have a good time and stop worrying?" Susan gave her friend a little shove out the door. "GO!"
As Libby and Starsky were going to the sidewalk to get into their car Jesse ran across the yard, "Wait," she cried. They both stopped and turned around. Jesse handed Starsky the keys to her beloved Mustang.
"What are these for?" he questioned.
"You guys take my car, have a blast." Jesse said hugging them both.
"But how are you going to get around?" Libby asked
"I'm off this weekend, there's mom and dad's cars I'll be fine." She grinned at them. "Please take it."
Starsky hugged her tightly, "Thanks kiddo, " he said into her hair.
Susan had been standing in the doorway watching when Jesse walked by her to go in Susan reached out and grabbed her daughters arm. "That was really nice Jess."
Jesse smiled at her mother and shrugged, "They deserve it."

Libby closed her eyes the sun felt wonderful, as did the wind blowing in her face. Starsky was smiling he glanced over at his wife. "Having fun?"
She nodded, "When are you going to tell me where we are going?" She asked opening her eyes and looking at him. They had been driving on Highway 1 for a while now.
"You really want to know?" he asked with a mischievous grin on is face.
"Starsk," she wailed stop teasing me.
He chuckled. "Ok, we are going to San Luis Obispo. You know they have that great little inn, the Apple Farm, where Hutch and Susan stayed that one time. Remember?"
Libby nodded and smiled faintly. The Apple Farm Inn had to be great, Susan had talked about it endlessly but still Libby would have liked to go some where that she and Starsky could call their own. Suddenly she felt tired and almost wished that they had stayed at home. She leaned her head back on the seat and closed her eyes again. This time Libby fell asleep and didn't wake until the arrived in San Luis Obispo.
It was late afternoon by the time the couple checked in and were shown their room. The room was beautiful it had a huge canopy bed against one wall and a patio door that opened out onto a little porch. Libby was exhausted all she wanted to do was crawl into the big bed and sleep. Starsky went out on to the porch to see the view. He called for her to join him but she declined opting for a shower instead hoping it would make her feel better.
By the time Libby emerged from the shower Starsky had changed clothes and was sitting watching TV with his feet propped up on the edge of the bed. Still wrapped in a towel she crossed the room to her suitcase. Libby took out a lemon colored sundress then went back to the bathroom. She finished drying then slipped the dress over her head. As she pulled it down she almost lost her balance, Libby grabbed on to the edge of the sink until the bout of dizziness pasted. This hadn't been the first time she had almost fallen from being dizzy, she knew she really should contact the doctor. She sat down on the toilet until she felt a bit better.
"Hey honey," Starsky called. "You ready to eat? I'm starving."
Libby took a deep breath, "Yeah I'm almost dressed." Slowly she got up waiting to see if the dizziness had passed. It had but she still felt weak and very tired. She towel dried her hair and applied her make up then stepped out of the bathroom.
"There you are," he exclaimed giving her a big smile. "How about if we eat at the restaurant here. It's suppose to be great and I hear they have wonderful apple dumplings."
I wonder where you heard that from Libby thought. "Sure sounds good." But she didn't really feel much like eating. All she really wanted to do was to sleep.

~Chapter 16~

They decided first to take a walk around the little town of San Luis Obispo. It was so beautiful, lots of couples milled around cuddling and stopping to kiss once in awhile. Libby watched them longingly. She knew that Starsky loved her she had no doubt about that but she also felt like they had a cloud hanging over them too. It had been along time since she had felt it. When they had first married, she wondered if she had made a mistake for she knew how he still felt about Susan. But as time went on his feelings for her seemed to fade into the background. Only occasionally did he get moody and Libby always knew what or who was on his mind.
After a little window-shopping they headed back toward their motel and the restaurant. She wanted to suggest another one of the lovely eating establishments that they walked by but she kept silent. She knew he would question her and Libby just didn't feel like coming up with an explanation.
Libby had to admit the restaurant was beautiful but it would have been perfect if they hadn't been following in the footsteps of Hutch and Susan's vacation. She was sure that the next day they would head to the same beach that they had gone to also. The restaurant was darkened and they had a candle sitting in the middle of the table that bathed them in a soft glow. It should have been a very romantic evening but all Libby could wonder about was just what Starsky was thinking. Was he trying to recreate Susan's vacation? Was he thinking about her or was he thinking about Susan. Sometimes she wished that she and Susan hadn't been so close before her marriage to Starsky. Then she wouldn't know all her secrets.
"Hey where are you?" Starsky asked Libby. He had been talking to her but getting no response.
She smiled at him. "Sorry I'm just tired I guess."
He leaned over the table and looked at her closely. She did look tired the black circles were under her eyes again. "Want to go back to the room?"
"No I'm ok," Libby said but she didn't feel ok. She felt like her heart was going to burst from her chest it was beating so hard. She picked up a glass of water and took a couple of sips hoping that would help. Neither of her other pregnancies had been anything like this. They both had been a breeze and she had really been looking forward to this baby.
The waitress came by to clear away their dinner dishes, "Would either of you like a dessert?" she asked.
Starsky smiled, "I wouldn't mind having one of your famous apple dumplings."
The waitress looked at Libby, "Should I make that two."
"NO." Libby snapped. "Geez Starsky can't you at least be original? Do you have to order everything that she ordered?"
The waitress looked startled then looked at Starsky who had a stunned expression on his face. "What? She who? What are you talking about Libby?"
"Susan, Susan, good lord you are having this trip with her not me." Libby stormed. "I'm just a cheap replacement." She got up from the table and started to leave but a bout of dizziness hit her. Libby sat down heavily in her chair.
Starsky leaped up, "Are you alright?" he asked with concern. He tried to take her hand but she jerked away from him.
"Get away from me! Don't touch me," she said loudly. By this time the other patrons were staring at the couple. The wave of dizziness passed, Libby got up and left leaving Starsky standing holding his napkin and looking very confused.
"I'm sorry," Starsky apologized to their waitress. "I think you had better just hold the dessert. Just charge dinner to our room." Then he pulled out a twenty handing it to her for a tip and ran after his wife.
He caught up with her right out side their room door. Libby was leaning up against the door weeping uncontrollably. Starsky had the room card, he quickly slide it in the door letting them in. Libby went straight to the bed and flopped down on it without a word.
"Honey what is wrong?" he asked sitting down next to her. He started to brush a strand of hair from her face.
"Don't touch me," She snapped.
He sighed letting his had drop to his lap. "I wish you would tell me what is going on."
Libby jumped up from the bed to stand in front of him. "What is going on? What is going on is that you are in love with Susan. I don't know why in the hell you ever married me. Did you feel sorry for me because I got shot or were you worried I would marry Hal and cold no longer be your back up date?"
Starsky was taken aback by her words, first he hadn't been aware that she even know of his feelings for Susan and Hal had been killed in the shooting. "Libby please calm down this isn't good for the baby or you."
"Why the hell do you care?" she cried.
"You aren't making any sense. Please sit down." Starsky pleaded. He didn't like the way she was looking. Libby was getting paler by the minute and she looked like she might faint.
"I'm not going to sit down or shut up." Libby said. "Are you going to sit there and deny that you are love with her?"
"Libby, Susan and I are close sure just like Hutch and I are. We all have been partners and friends for years."
"I think your feelings for Susan are just a little different for what you feel for Hutch or at least I sure hope so," she said nastily.
"Libby please…" he begin.
She cut him off, "Please what? You seem to forget that Susan and I have been best friends almost as long as you all have been partners. There has been a lot of girl talk over the years. Especially in times when I was your 'off again girl'. So I know how she feels about you. And I also know how you feel about her."
Starsky just looked at her, what was he suppose to say? Deny it? She would know he was lying. To actually admit it would be more than she could handle and for that matter more than he could handle. He had tried so hard to keep his feelings under control. But all this stuff with Hutch just drew him and Susan together. He got up from the bed and started toward her.
Libby backed up, "Just stay away." She sobbed. She was so pale she was almost white. Libby was clutching her chest and was panting for a breath. "Please…please Starsky help me" she said breathlessly sounding more like herself. He could see the fear in her face then her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she hit the floor before Starsky could even catch her.
Starsky was by her side instantly he reached up and pulled the phone off the desk to the floor. He rang the front desk, when they answer, he said with tears running down his face, "I need help, there is something wrong with my wife."

~Chapter 17 ~

It was close to midnight when the phone had rang, Jesse had been the one to answer it. She didn't stop in her parent's bedroom for she knew where her mother would be. Even though Hutch was doing remarkable better he still didn't have the strength to climb the stairs. Susan had been spending all her nights with him now. Jesse tapped lightly on the door leading into the den. There was no answer, she opened the door and peered in. Her mother and father were lying in each others arms, it warmed her heart to see them like that. Quietly she tipped toe to the bedside and touched her mothers arm softly.
"Mom." Jesse whispered.
Susan stirred and opened her eyes. She was tired from the day of running after all the kids. They had a wonderful time and had even decided on a trip to the zoo. Hutch had surprised her by asking if he could tag along. It wasn't often that he asked to go out, they usually had to drag him. But he figured they could get one of those motorized carts. Then after the zoo they went out for pizza and by the time they got home the kids had fallen asleep in the car.
"What is it honey?" Susan asked. "You ok?
"Yeah I'm fine," Jesse said pulling on her mother's arm. "Uncle Starry is on the phone something is wrong."
That was all Susan needed to hear, she got out of the bed and rushed to the kitchen for the phone. "Starsk what's wrong?" At first she couldn't understand him. "Starsky are you ok?" It was Libby she knew it in her heart. Her friend had been looking so bad lately. "What's happened to Libby?"
She could hear him take a deep breath on the other end. "She's in the hospital here in San Luis Obispo. She passed out in our room."
"What hospital?"
"We are at General Hospital on Johnson Ave." Starsky got out, he was so beside himself he could hardly think or speak.
"I'm on my way." Susan said into the phone and hung up with out waiting for an answer.
"Mom what is it?" Jesse asked tears springing to her eyes. She could tell by her mother's expression that it wasn't good.
"It's Libby," Susan said as she started back to the den she had to tell Hutch and then get dressed.
"What's wrong with her," Jesse asked following her mother.
Susan shook her head. "I don't know and Starsky was in no shape to tell me."
"Was it an accident?"
"I don't think so honey. I think it has something to do with her pregnancy she hasn't looked good for several weeks." Susan stopped and turned to look at Jesse. "I'm going to need you to take care of the kids and look after Daddy."
"Of course Mommy anything," Jesse said her bottom lip quivering. Here we go again she thought to her self. How in the world did her father expect her to leave home when one bad thing after another just kept happening?
Susan left her daughter standing in the living room with her thoughts and went to wake up Hutch. She sat down on the bed and gently shook him. "Hutch something has happened to Libby I need to get to San Luis Obispo now."
Hutch opened his eyes and looked at her. He hadn't been asleep just waiting for her to return. He had woke when had Jesse come into the room earlier. "Call Pete see if he will fly you up there in the chopper. I don’t want you driving alone."
Susan nodded, ran to get dress and call Pete. Pete was one of the chopper pilots for the police force. Even though she had woke him up Pete was willing to fly her to San Luis Obispo.

Susan found Starsky sitting in the emergency waiting room when she got there. He was on one of the well-worn couches, his head in his hands staring at the floor. When she touched him on the shoulder he sprung up and fell into her arms heavily. Susan almost stumbled backward. "Is she ok?" Susan asked.
"I don't know," Starsky said into her shoulder. "They are still working on her. They had to find an OB doctor. He just got here."
"Come on sit down it's going to be fine." Susan said guiding him back down to where he had been sitting. "What happened?"
"She was so up set…I shouldn't have ordered the dumpling…she knows…how could I be so stupid." Starsky rambled as tears spilled from his eyes. "She's having our baby for god sakes…how could I have done this…"
"Starsky," Susan said sharply, he was scaring her and she needed him to focus. He looked up at her numbly. "What are you talking about? She knows what? What is she upset about?"
"Us…us," Starsky said almost inaudibly.
"US? There is no us." Susan said but her heart sank of course Libby knew how they felt. How many times had they discussed it years ago? How stupid could she have been? Why had she ever discussed her feelings for Starsky with Libby knowing how Libby felt about him from the beginning.
"There is an us in our hearts and she knows it just as Hutch knows it." Starsky breathed. "Just like we know it."
Susan took his hand she had tears in her eyes. "Then we have to fix it. We are the only ones that can. And then we have to spend the rest of our lives making it up to the ones that love us."
He looked up at her his eyes full of tears, "How?" he asked simply. He could hardly remember a time that he hadn't loved her.
"I don't know how," she answered in a choked voice. "But we will because we have to."
Starsky nodded. "I just hope it's not to late. She can't die thinking that I don't love her."
"She knows you love her," Susan said softly trying to comfort him.
"Yeah but not the way she wants to be loved not the way she deserves to be loved." He said. "How could she have lived all this time knowing and never saying a word."
"She loves you that much," Susan said in a tight voice. "Just like Hutch loves me that much. They do deserve more they have been there all the way. Giving us their all but they never had our all did they?"
Starsky shook his head. "Things gotta change."
Susan nodded. And the first thing she was going to do was request a job resignment. They couldn't ride together anymore. Maybe she could get a desk job, better hours so she could spend more time with Hutch. It broke her heart to think of not working with Starsky any more. True they had these feelings but utmost was their friendship but now it seemed they would need to table even that.
She reached over and took his hands again he looked up into her face. "It ends here and now for us."
Starsky nodded he could feel his chest tighten his heart felt like it was going to break. Breaking for his wife that was lying in a hospital bed not knowing what was wrong with her. And breaking for his best friend he was about to loose forever. It would never be the same again. They both knew that.

~Chapter 18~

A woman in a long white lab coat with a stethoscope hanging around her neck stepped into the waiting room. "Are you Mr. Starsky?" she asked.
Both Starsky and Susan jumped to their feet. "Yes." He said. "How's my wife? Doctor…uh."
"Just call me Dr. Mary," The doctor smiled, "She is going to be just fine."
"What is wrong with her," Susan asked. The doctor looked at her. "I'm his partner and family friend."
"Partner?" the doctor questioned.
"We are police detectives," Starsky explained. All he wanted to do was find out how his wife was.
"Oh I see," She smiled at them again. "Why don't we sit down."
"OH God," Starsky said under his breath as he sat. Susan sat on one side of him taking his hand and the doctor sat on the other side.
Dr. Mary put her hand on Starsky's knee and patted it. "She is going to be fine. You wife is just very anemic." Dr. Mary explained. "If it had gone much further there could have been a risk of some vital organ shut down and she would have needed a blood transfusion. But I think we caught it in time. I gave her an injection for iron directly into her blood stream. Mrs. Starsky should be back to normal in just a couple of weeks. She is going to have to be monitored by her regular doctor to make sure this doesn't happen again."
"What about the baby?" Susan asked worriedly.
"The baby is just fine. I checked the heart beat and did an ultrasound. I even know the sex of the baby if you and your wife want to know." Dr. Mary winked at him. "You can see her now."
Susan hugged him tightly, "Go on I'll go call Hutch and Jesse."
Starsky followed Dr. Mary down the hall to his wife's room. The Doctor pushed open the door, he hesitated for a moment not sure if Libby really wanted to see him. "It's ok," Mary said.
He stepped into the room, Libby was laying on her side with her back toward him. Softly we walked to her bedside and touched her shoulder. Libby rolled over, when she saw him she sat up and held out her arms for him. Starsky hugged her tightly, they were both crying a bit. "I'm so sorry," Libby whispered.
Starsky pulled back and looked at her. "Sorry? You are sorry? For what?" he wanted to know.
"I should have been taking better care of myself. I knew things weren't right but I just thought maybe it was just the stress of everything." She answered. "I didn't want to add to your strain either." Then she took his hands in hers. "Honey I'm sorry for the things I said. I was just terrified, I knew I was going down hill and just lashed out at you."
"No, no," Starsky said burying his head against her. "I'm the one that is sorry I should have been paying better attention. I should have been a better husband. You know I love you."
She smiled at him. "I love you too and you are a wonderful husband and father."
"But you deserve more, you deserve all of me." He said giving her a knowing look.
She had been so out of her mind she wasn't really sure of all that she had said to him but she did know that her worries about him and Susan came out. "I didn't mean anything I said."
"Yes you did and you were right. Things are going to be different from now on." He promised.
"I'm going to be ok," she grinned at him. "And the doctor said the baby is just fine."
"I know she told me. She also told me that she can tell us what the sex of the baby is." He beamed at her. "You want to know?"
Libby nodded. "Remember we are going to all him Kenneth if it's a boy.
"And if it's a girl?"
"Susan."
Starsky cocked his head. "Are you sure about that honey?"
"Positive."
"You really are a remarkable woman you know that?" he kissed her and started out to find Dr. Mary. "Let's get that doctor in here and find out uh?"
"I want Susan in here too," Libby said. "I want her to find out with us."
Starsky stopped dead still and turned to stare at his wife. "How did you know she was here."
Libby laughed. "Honey I know you. The moment you got me in here you called them. I’m not stupid. Both Hutch and Susan would have been here but I figure that Hutch wasn't up to travel so Susan came alone. It's fine I expect her to be here. She is my best friend too you know."
Starsky went back to her bedside, "I do love you." He leaned down to kiss her then hurried out to find Susan and Dr. Mary.
He found Susan still on the phone talking to Hutch. When she saw Starsky coming down the hall she told Hutch to hang on. "Everything alright?"
"Everything is perfect. Come on we want you do find out the sex of the baby with us." Starsky grinned at her.
"I was just going to leave," Susan said. "I was just talking to Hutch about renting a car in the morning and driving home."
Starsky took the phone from her, "Hey buddy!" he said into the receiver. He listened for a few moments. "She'll just drive back with us. You and Jess hold the fort until we get back?"
"Are you sure?" Susan mouthed. "What about Libby?" This was not fixing things this was just making things worse.
Starsky just waved her silent. He finished talking to Hutch telling him that Susan would call him back later to let him know when they were coming back. After he hung up he grab Susan by the arm, "Come on we have to find that doctor."
Susan balked, "Starsky I don't think this is a good idea. Just let me leave, I'll get a room until morning and then rent a car."
"Libby wants you with us when we find out."
"You told her I was here?" Susan said annoyed.
"No she figured it out." Starsky said pulling her down the hall. "Remember she knows us too well. She knew that you and Hutch would be the ones I would call. It's ok really she wants you there."
Susan went to Libby's room, while Starsky went to track down the doctor. She wanted to talk to her friend alone. Susan pushed open the door and peeked in. Libby was sitting up waiting from Starsky to return with everyone. She waved Susan into the room and patted the bed next to her.
Susan sat down next to her. "How are you feeling?"
"Much better, I should have listened to you," Libby said reaching over to hug her friend.
"Libby I am so sorry for…" Susan begin.
But Libby cut her off. "For get about it."
"Libby I can't forget about it. Things are going to change." Susan said as tears ran down her face, she felt so guilty.
"Starsky said the same thing. It's all right really. I knew what I was getting into and I love him so much that it doesn't really matter to me." She said.
"No it's not all right. It's not fair to you or Hutch, for that matter it's not fair to Starsky or I either." Susan said. "Starsk and I are going to work on this. I'm not going to work with him anymore."
Libby looked at her shocked. "Does he know that?"
"I haven't said anything but Monday I'm going to ask for a job reassignment. It's really the best thing all around." Susan explained. "Maybe I can get something with better hours I need to be home for Hutch and the kids."
"Please don't do this because of me."
"You are only a part of it. This has been a long time in coming."
The room door opened Dr. Mary followed closely by Starsky. He looked like a kid in a candy store. "So I hear you would like to find out the sex of your baby?" Dr. Mary asked.
Libby grinned and nodded. Starsky glanced at Susan then went to the other side of the bed. Libby grabbed both of their hands. "Ok doctor. Tell us."
"You have a fine healthy baby boy." Dr. Mary smiled at them. "Is that what you were hoping for?"
"I didn't care just as long as it was healthy but a boy is great we already have two little girls at home." Libby grinned. She looked up at Susan. "We are naming him Kenneth."
"Really?" Susan said. "Oh you guys, Hutch is going to love it!"
"Mrs. Starsky you will be ready to check out by noon. I just want you to rest a bit let the shot start taking some effect. But you need to make an appointment with your doctor the moment you get home. I'll send him notes and the treatment I used."
Starsky came around the bed to stand in front of the doctor. "Dr. Mary I don't even know how to thank you."
"You just take care of that baby," she smiled. "That's all the thanks I need. I'll get your discharge paper work ready. Why don't all of you try and get some rest."

~Chapter 19~

The trip home from San Luis Obispo was a quiet one. Libby lay in the back seat dozing. Starsky drove and Susan stared out at the scenery but not really seeing it. When they got home Starsky handed Susan Jesse's car keys then helped Libby out of the back seat and across the grass to their house. Susan had offered to keep the girls one more night so that Libby could get more rest.
Jesse was fixing dinner and Hutch was in the back yard watching Davy and the girls run through the sprinkler. Susan gave Jesse a quick hugged before she headed for the back yard.
When the kids saw her they came running up dripping wet to give her hugs. "Where's mommy?" Sam asked.
Susan crouched down, "She's at home with your daddy. You and Deanna are going to spend another night with us. Is that ok?"
"Sure thing," Sam answered delighted she loved staying with them. "Can we see mommy?"
"Let's give her a little time to get settled and then I'll take you over." Susan smiled at the little girl.
"OK," Sam answered and ran for the sprinkler.
Susan stood up and gave Hutch a tired smile she had gotten very little sleep. Deanna tugged on her jeans. Susan picked her up not caring she was getting soaked. "What's up little Miss Dee?" Susan teased her.
"Did we get a baby?" she asked all wide-eyed.
Susan laughed. "Nope not yet a few more months. After Christmas."
"Oh," Deanna said clearly disappointed. "That's forever."
"It will be here quicker than you think little one." Susan set her on her feet.
"Hi Mom," Davy said he had stood back waiting for the girls to finish talking to her.
"Hi ya Davy, you been helping daddy and Jess with the girls?" she asked.
He nodded. "I missed you."
"I haven't been gone that long silly," Susan said hugging him tightly to her.
"I know but I still missed you anyway."
"Me too," Hutch said holding out an arm. She moved closer so that he could put it around her waist. She leaned over and kissed him. "Are you OK?" She looked more than tired. She almost looked sad. "Libby really going to be alright?"
"She is going to be fine as long as she takes her iron so that she doesn't get anemia again. It was close if she had been any worse they would have had to done a transfusion on her." Susan explained.
"Come here," he said pulling her down on his lap. She laid her head on his shoulder. "You ok?"
"Just really tired." She answered. There was no need to go into what she was planning just yet. She would have to answer enough questions when he found out she was putting in for a transfer.
Early the next morning Susan was up and dressed before Hutch even woke. She wanted to get to the office and put in for her transfer as soon as possible. She didn't go over to ride with Starsky as she usually did instead Susan just drove herself. It had to start some where.
Jesse was up stairs getting Deanna dressed when the doorbell rang. "You keep going," she told the little girl. "I'll be right back." She dashed down stairs and yanked open the door Starsky greeted her.
"Where's your mom? We are running late." Starsky said peering into the house.
"Mom's gone, in fact she has been gone a while now." Jesse said.
"Daddy!" came a squeal from the steps. Deanna was coming down the stairs, her shirt still in her hand.
Starsky swept her up, "How's my sweet pea?" he asked kissing her cheek.
"OK, we are having fun!" She exclaimed.
Starsky chuckled, "I'm sure you are but the question is Jesse having fun?"
"They are really being good…well most of the time," She grinned. "I'm taking the day off to help Aunt Libby with the girls."
"Oh Jesse you didn't have to do that," Starsky said putting Deanna down.
She shrugged, "I'll be quitting soon anyway to start getting ready for college." Starsky looked at her. "Don't you start on me too. I'm tired of hearing it."
"Morning Starsky," Hutch said rolling himself into the hallway. "What is going on with Susan? She was up and out of here before I even got up."
"I don't know I came to get her she is usually over there hurrying me up. Heck I'm running late this morning now." Starsky said.
"How's Libby feeling?" Hutch asked.
"Much better. I'm taking her to the doctor at one." Starsky answer. "I had better get going."
By the time he got to the office Susan had put in her request effective immediately. She was cleaning out her desk when he pushed the squad room door open. Several of the officers in the room looked up at Starsky wondering what was going on.
Starsky dropped a sack of donuts on his desk and stood watching her. "What the hell are you doing?"
"What does it look like," she said calmly.
"Ok then why are you cleaning out your desk?" he asked. "Don’t tell me we are finally getting new ones?"
"No such luck my friend," she said. Susan continued putting things in the box she refused to look up. She knew if she did she would began to cry. The last thing she put in the box on top of everything was a photo of Starsky, Hutch and herself. The Susan put the lid on the box and started to leave.
Starsky grabbed her arm, "What's going on?" he demanded.
Susan took a deep breath and willed her self not to start crying. "I got a transfer this morning. I'm going to be working down at the front desk for a while until they find me something more permanent."
"Why are you doing this?" he asked but he knew why she was doing it.
"Starsky please just let me go," she said with a catch in her voice. "I got to go." She jerked out of his grasp and hurried out the squad room doors. Once out in the hall she sat down on a bench and broke down in tears.
Kim one of her co-workers noticed her sobbing and sat down next to her. "Hey everything all right?" she questioned as she pulled a tissue from her pocket handing it to the sobbing woman. "Is Hutch doing OK?"
Susan took the tissue she was offered, "He's doing great. He will be walking soon."
"That's wonderful," Kim told her wondering what all the tears were about.
"I'm sorry," Susan sniffed. "It's just I'm moving down to the front desk today, it's a bit harder than I thought it would be."
"You and Starsky aren't going to be partners anymore?" Kim said surprised. They had been partners since she had been there.
"I need a more steady schedule so I can spend more time with Hutch," Susan explained.
Kim nodded, she patted her on the shoulder, "Well, you take it easy."
Susan got up and headed to the elevator just as the doors opened and she stepped in Starsky came down the hall toward her. "Just let it be." Susan said as the doors slid closed.
Starsky stood there with his mouth open ready to say something to her. He knew that they shouldn't spend as much time together but her leaving their partnership never crossed his mind.

Hutch sat in his wheelchair staring at the walker that Burt had placed in front of him. "I'm not ready for this."
"Sure you are. You are walking great on the parallel bars. I just want you to have a little extra support for a while." Burt told him.
"I know I'm ready for it but I'm not ready." Hutch said. Seeing the confused look on Burt's face he explained. "I thought it would be 20, 30 more years before I had to use one of these things."
"Ahhh…" Burt chuckled. "I get it boss. Well this isn't forever. I think in a couple of weeks you can chuck this thing for a cane."
Hutch placed his hands on the walker then pulled himself into an up right position. He gave Burt a dirty look, "OK I'm up now what?"
"Walk," Burt said.
"Funny," Hutch said as he took a step. He stumbled a few times until he got the hang of how to use the walker. "I feel like a little old man."
"Don't worry about that you are doing great," Burt encouraged. "You have really come along way."
Hutch stopped his hands were hurting. It put a lot of pressure on his wrist and palms of his hands. "When can I sleep in my own bed?"
"You work on this a week and next Monday we will start you on the stair stepper." Burt told him.
"A week uh?" Hutch said. "Ok." He walked a few more steps with the walker then turned to look at Burt. "This mean I can get rid of that damn chair?"
"Well at least around the house boss," Burt said.

~Chapter 20~
Susan went to see Libby the moment she got home. She knew that Starsky wouldn't be home for another hour since she had left early. Libby was lying on the couch watching TV when Susan tapped lightly on the door and went in.
Libby smiled up at her from were she was lying. "Where were you this morning? You made Starsk late, you weren't here to badger him to hurry."
Susan sat down in a chair next to the couch. It kind of unnerved her that things had just fell back into their normal pace with her and Libby. It was like she didn't even remember all the things that she had said to Starsky. He had told her every painful detail when they had left Libby's room so that she could rest.
"I'm working at the front desk for a while." Susan said. Libby visibly blanched at Susan's mention of the front desk. That was where she had been shoot when a young man had opened fire in the first floor of the precinct.
"You and Starsk aren't riding together?" Libby asked surprised. "Why?"
Susan was at a loss at what to tell her. She sure didn't want to stir up any bad feelings. Maybe it was the only way Libby could handle everything…just pretend it didn't happen. Susan sure wished she could forget. "I felt I needed regular hours so I could be home with Hutch more. I might cut back on hours too," Susan lied.
The answer seemed to satisfy Libby. "Starsk came home and took me to the doctor earlier. The doctor was pleased with how I'm doing. And also got after me for not coming in when I wasn't feeling well."
"Well good he should have. Next time I'll drag you myself if I have to young lady." Susan said wagging her finger at her friend. "Where are the girls?"
"Jesse still has them," Libby smiled. "I think she is enjoying playing Mommy."
"I hope not too much," Susan said, "I would like to see her finish college first."
The front door banged open making both women jump. Starsky came in, "I have to talk to you NOW!" he said grabbing Susan by the arm and dragging her out of the chair.
"What is wrong?" She asked.
"Outside," he growled.
"David Starsky is that anyway to talk to Susan?" Libby admonished.
"Fine!" he said between clenched teeth. "Would you please get your ass out side I need to talk to you."
"OK just turn loose you are hurting my arm." Susan said trying to jerk free. He wouldn't release his grip but did loosen it a bit so he wasn't hurting her.
Once they were out side and he let her go Susan turned on him angrily. "What the hell is going on with you?" she wanted to know.
"Let's walk," he said looking back at his front door.
"After that display in there and you are afraid of what Libby might think?" Susan exclaimed. "You really put on a show in there for her."
Starsky took off down the sidewalk Susan had to run to catch up with him. When she was along side of him, he said, "Why did you ask for a transfer?"
"We discussed this at the hospital. We need to put some distance between us." Susan said breathlessly. She almost had to run to keep up with him.
"That is work it's different," he raged. He didn't know where he was going but he knew he just had to keep walking or explode.
"It's not different. We sometimes spend long hours alone on stake outs all night long. That is not getting space. It was fine when Hutch was with us. But he hasn't been for a while now. It's not right for us to be alone like that knowing how we feel and that they know how we feel." Susan tried to explain but she wasn't sure he was listening.
"I don't want to lose you as my partner," he said trying to keep the sob from his voice. "I have already lost Hutch, I can't stand to lose you too."
They were several blocks from home by now. Susan stopped in the middle of the sidewalk but Starsky kept going. "Will you stop?" she called after him. But he didn't, he just kept walking. "DAMNIT STOP!" She yelled.
He stopped and hung his head. Susan could see Starsky's shoulders were shaking as she caught up with him he was crying. She embraced him laying her head on his chest and cried with him. "I can't lose both of you." He choked out. "I just can't."

There was a knock on the front door Hutch made his way slowly using his walker to answer it. When he opened it Libby was standing before him. It scared him, he knew that Susan had come home and since she hadn't come into the house he had just figured that she had gone to Libby's.
"Well look at you," Libby smiled when she saw Hutch standing.
"Isn't it lovely?" he quipped as he turned to make his way back to the living room.
"I think it's perfectly lovely. It's great to see you on your feet." Libby answered. "Has Susan seen this?"
"She went right over to your house when she got home. By the way where is she?" He asked.
Libby sat down on the couch, Hutch sat next to her. "Something is going on between Susan and Starsky."
Hutch caught his breath, it was bad enough that he knew it and that they knew he knew but now Libby? "What do you mean?" he asked slowly.
"I don't know, he came storming in just a bit ago madder than I have ever seen him and practically dragged Susan out of the house. They went off down the block and I haven't seen them since." Libby said.
"You don't know what he was mad about?" Hutch asked.
"Well it could be because Susan got a transfer today with out even telling him." She explained.
"Susan did what?" Hutch said in a raised voice.
"Oops you didn't know? I thought the two of you had discussed it. She said she wanted better hours so that she could spend more time with you."
"No we haven't discussed anything like that." It was obvious that Hutch was pissed too. "What the hell is going on with her anyway?"
"I think it has something to do with Starsky and me." Libby said. Slowly she began telling Hutch what had happened at the motel. "The only reason I told you all that was because I know you know."
"Yeah I know, have for a lot of years now." Hutch said somberly. "I have learned to accept it. I don't think they have ever…well…uh…you know." Damn the whole thing was so difficult.
"Yeah I know what you mean," Libby said shyly. "I don't think so either they love us to much too."
"So Susan asked for a transfer." Hutch shook his head. "I know Starsk must be beside him himself. He was upset when I took Captain, yelled at me for breaking up the team. Now that Susan has left him he has to feel totally deserted."
"I never meant for her to do this. It's not what I wanted." Libby sighed. "I don't know what I wanted. God I was about out of my mind with fear when I said all those things to Starsky. And he must have passed them right along to her."
"She has carried a lot of guilt over her feelings for Starsky and I know she tries to keep them at bay. But I guess sometimes she just can't help it. I know she was devastated by what happened to me. She needed somebody to lean on and Starsky was it. That kind of closeness brings all the feelings that that they try to bury to the surface."
"This doesn't bother you does it?" Libby asked. She understood where he was coming from. It was just something you learned to live with something you learned to accept.
"At first," Hutch said. "But after all these years it's just part of who we are. If it had been anybody but Starsky then it would have been different. And as funny as it sounds I trust them to do the right thing."
"Maybe we should do the right thing," Libby said softly staring at her hands.
"What's that?"
"Let them have one another."
Hutch looked at her then pulled her into his arms hugging her. "Don't you know that would never work? They would feel so guilty they would never be together again. Look at what's going on now. It's apparent Susan is trying hard to cut their ties. It's killing them both."
"So what are we going to do?" Libby asked
"Nothing, let them work it out." Hutch said. "If Susan ever came to me and said that she wanted out I would step aside and let her go. It would hurt like hell but I love her that much."
"I know." Libby said. "I know."

~Chapter 21~

Susan was startled to see Hutch and Libby talking when she entered the house. It was clear that Susan had been crying but either of them questioned her. After telling them she would be right back Susan went up stairs washed her face and change her clothes. Once in shorts and a tank top she felt much better and ready to face what she knew must be coming.
They were still talking when she entered the living room. Libby looked up and smiled at her. "I was just telling Hutch that we are naming the baby after him."
"Pretty neat uh?" Hutch beamed he was pleased. Another Starsky and Hutch to carry on."
Susan gave them a brief smile, she knew that wasn't what they had been discussing when she had come in. "Why don’t you and the girls stay for dinner Libby. Starsky went out he told me to tell you he'll be back later."
Hutch looked at Susan she shrugged. She knew what Hutch wanted to know where did Starsky go. But she didn't know he had just said he had to get out of there for a while went back to the house and left in his car.
Libby didn't even ask, instead she said. "Are you sure? You guys have had the girls since Saturday."
"We love having them and you." Susan gave her a genuine smile. "If you feel up to it come help me decide what to fix."
"I have a better idea. Why don't we just order pizza I'm paying." Libby suggested. "Then we don't have to spend our time in the kitchen."
"I'm not going to argue with that." Susan said. They both went into the kitchen to get the menu from the local pizza joint.
Hutch got up and made his way into the den. He sat down at his desk and pulled out a list of colleges that he had gotten off the computer. It was time, time to start sending in résumés. Seemed from the way Burt talked he would be up and a round very soon. He studied the list, he knew what college he hoped would accept him. It would solve everyone's problems.

By the time Huggy noticed Starsky in one of the back booths he was well on his way to drinking himself into a stupor. The place wasn't overly packed but Huggy had been busy behind the bar. Even though he had bartenders in all his establishments he still liked to get back there and pour a few himself. One of the waitresses had asked him if he knew that Starsky was there. So when she came back for Starsky's next refill it was Huggy that took it too him.
Huggy sat the brew on the table. Starsky mumbled his thanks with out even looking up. "What's got you blue my man?" Huggy asked sliding in across from him.
Starsky finally looked up, "Hey ya Hug."
"Man you look like you have lost your last friend." Huggy said.
"I have."
Huggy frowned at him. "Just how many of those have you had anyway?"
"I lost count after ten," Starsky answered.
"Libby know you are here?" Huggy asked, he was beginning to get concerned. He had never seen Starsky quite like this before. He shook his head. "Maybe I should give her call and have her come get you."
"No," Starsky said.
"Then what about Susan?"
That was the last name he needed to hear at that moment. "Damnit it!" Starsky growled. "Can't a guy get plowed in peace?"
"Whoa slow down there partner," Huggy said holding up his hands.
"I'm not your partner nor anybody else's," Starsky slurred. "Bring me another drink."
"I think you have had enough. You aren't even making sense." Huggy said taking the glass Starsky had just emptied from him.
"Is this a bar," Starsky asked.
"Yes."
"And you serve drinks right?"
"Ya."
"Well then damnit serve me," Starsky bellowed. Everybody in the bar jumped and turned to stare at the two men in the corner booth.
"Listen Starsk if you don't hold it down I'm going to boot you out the door." Huggy warned. "Why don't you tell me what you are so upset about."
Starsky took a ragged breath, "Susan quit today."
"Quit? The police force?" Huggy asked shocked.
"No she quit me," he said, the room was beginning to spin and he was feeling sick.
"Starsky I think you need a cup of coffee before you puke." Huggy signaled the waitress and told her to bring a couple of cups of coffee.
"She asked for a transfer." Starsky elaborated.
"Why did she do that?" the bar owner asked.
"It's a long long story not worth repeating." Starsky said. He looked at the cup of steaming coffee the waitress sat before him. "I can't do this any more."
"That's good you have had enough to drink," Huggy said shoving the coffee closer to him.
"No I mean I can't be a cop anymore. I have had it. My partners are gone. Hutch isn't going to come back. Susan is on the front desk…the damn front desk what the hell is she going to do there? Shit man that's a crappy job, she's too good of a cop be stuck behind that damn desk." Starsky said in a rush of words. "I'm getting too old for all this damn shit."
"Then come to work for me." Huggy said more teasing than anything.
Starsky looked up at him, "Really? What could I do?"

It was nearing 10 p.m. Libby had taken the girls home long ago promising to let them know when Starsky returned. They were all beginning to worry. Susan watched proudly as Hutch made his way across the living room toward the den.
"You have come so far," she told him. "I'm really proud of you. I know it hasn't been easy."
"Aww piece of cake," Hutch said rolling his eyes. "I'll just be glad when I can get rid of this damn thing."
"Soon enough babe, don't rush it. You sure don't need a set back now." Susan said.
"Where are the kids?" Hutch asked with a twinkle in his eye.
"In bed, I think all that baby sitting tired Jesse out," Susan grinned. "And Davy crashed about the time Libby left with the girls.
"Good, come on," he called from the den. Susan followed him in Hutch closed and locked the door. "My legs are working let's see what else is working," he teased winking at her.
"Hutch," Susan giggled. "Are you sure it's ok? Did the doctor say we could?"
Hutch shrugged, "He didn't say we couldn't. Besides I don’t have to stand up." He took her in his arms and kissed her, then slid one hand down the wall catching the light switch throwing them into darkness.
Susan giggled again as she helped him toward the bed. "Are you sure about…"
Hutch cut her off with his mouth.

Very early the next morning pounding on the front door awakened Susan and Hutch. Susan untangled herself from the sheets, she grabbed the shirt he had been wearing the night before and slipped it on. She started out the door then ran to kiss him. Susan gave him a grin then went to answer the door.
Starsky was standing there still in his clothes from the previous day. His eyes were blood shot and his hair tousled but he was grinning from ear to ear. "Have you been home?" Susan asked shocked to see him.
"Nope not yet," he answered. She could smell beer on his breath.
"Are you drunk?"
"Not any more…I don’t think at least." He grinned. "Can I come in?"
"Don't you think you should go home and let Libby know you are all right?" Susan asked with out opening the door further.
Hutch appeared behind Susan, "What's up Starsk?"
"Hey look at you buddy," Starsky said pushing his way in the door. "Walking around and all."
"You deal with him," she said and went to call Libby to let her know where Starsky was.
"Come on in the den," Hutch invited.
After Susan called Libby she put on some coffee and made some cinnamon rolls. While they were baking she went to shower and get dressed.
"So what's going on." Hutch asked Starsky.
"I'm quitting," Starsky stated.
"Quitting what?"
"Work, I'm quitting work."
"What? Are you nuts?" Hutch said shocked. "What the hell are you doing to do?"
"I'm going into business with Huggy!"
"What bar tending?" Hutch growled. "Have you lost your mind?" Hutch would have paced the room if wouldn’t have been such a struggle to do. "You can't support Libby and the kids working in a bar."
Starsky made a face at him, "I'm not working in the bar, I'm going in as a partner. Huggy was talking about doing some more expanding if he had a partner. So I said I would go in with him. And I'll help him manage."
"Starsky you have lost your mind. You don't know thing one about the bar business."
"Well damn it I can learn can't I," Starsky huffed. "I'm not stupid."
"No body said you were. You just haven't done anything but be a cop your whole life." Hutch said trying to reason with him.
"Well then it's about time I try something else don't you?" Starsky said. "Besides what have I got to stay there for. You are gone, Susan has that stinking job at the front desk. I'm not staying around and watch her waste her talent behind a desk. Maybe if I'm gone she'll find a new partner and go back to being a detective again."
Hutch sat down on the edge of the bed, now he understood what this was all about. "It's hard to give up something you love for someone you love isn't it?"
Starsky didn't say anything, it was no use to deny his feelings for he knew Hutch knew. He just stood there looking at Hutch with a look of pure sadness on his face.
"I know why she asked to be resigned to desk duty. Libby and I had a long talk last night."
"I'm sorry Hutch," Starsky almost whispered. "We never meant to hurt anybody ever."
"I know."
Starsky looked like he had been though the wringer, he was emotionally drained and physical exhausted. "I'm just so tired." He said sounding totally defeated. "Can we talk about this later?"
"Sure buddy," Hutch said. "Why don't you lay down."
Starsky crawled up on Hutch's bed and was sound asleep before he head hit the pillow. Hutch went over pull Starsky's shoes off and threw the sheet over him. Leaning on the walker he made his way toward the kitchen.
Susan was just taking the rolls from the oven when he appeared in the doorway. "Starsk go home?"
"No he's sleeping in my bed," Hutch said as he maneuvered the walked so that he could sit down at the table. Susan sat the rolls down in front of him then poured a cup of coffee.
"Well at least we know where he is." Susan said also sitting down at the table. "Libby is pretty upset that he didn't come home."
"Is she coming over?" Hutch asked.
"In a while after she gets the girls dressed. Why is everything such a mess," Susan sighed. Their lives had been in such an up roar since Hutch had been shot. "I don't think I'm going in today. Starsk sure is in no condition."
"He's quitting anyway?" Hutch said with half a smile. He was sure once his friend had some rest that he would change his mind.
"And do what may I ask?" Susan wanted to know.
"Work with Huggy."
At first Susan smiled then began to laugh, "You have got to be kidding."
"He wants to be business partners with Huggy." Hutch said chuckling a bit himself.
"Guess he was with Huggy all night." Susan shook her head. "The trouble those two can get into."
"He thinks if he quits then you will go back to being a detective." Hutch told her. "He hates the thought of you behind that desk."
The smile slid from her face. "Crap, what are we going to do with him. I don't want him quitting because of me."
"You started it by asking for a transfer. Susan I never wanted you to do that. I don't mind you working with Starsk. I trust you both to do the right thing."
"I know," she said somberly. "That's what makes this all so tough. If you would have just laid down an ultimatum years ago this would have been over."
"So this is my fault?" Hutch flared. "Is that what you are saying? You have nothing to do with all this stuff between you and Starsk? It's my fault for not putting my foot down? And just where do you think it would have gotten us, gotten me?"
Susan just looked at him not knowing how to answer. She didn't know what would have happened if Hutch would have demanded her to choose way back then.
He could see the wheels turning he knew she was thinking hard about what he had just said. "Where would I be in this picture now if I had made you choose?"
She looked at him with tears steaming down her face, "I honestly don't know."

~Chapter 22~

Hutch sat glumly in his wheel chair waiting for Burt to start his therapy. The conversation with Susan over breakfast still fresh in his thoughts. He wondered if he would have come out on the loosing end if he had forced her to chose. Things could have been very different at this point in their lives. If she had chosen Starsky over him it would have surely ended their partnership then and there. But he didn't know any better than Susan did whom she would have picked if pushed. It had been him that she had fallen for first that night at the disco. He could almost feel her in his arms again, her head on his chest swaying to the music. Starsky had been instrumental in getting them together in the first place. They were all close, but when did the friendship between his partners turn from that to love? He shook his head to clear the thoughts from his mind. He wanted to be ready when Burt got there. To day he was going to insist that Burt start letting him work on the stair stepper. He was getting stronger everyday and it was time for him to get on with his life and that didn't include stumbling around in a walker.
"What are you thinking so hard about boss?" Burt asked, he had been standing undetected in front of Hutch for a good five minutes.
Hutch looked up startled, "You are always sneaking up on me."
"What can I say," Burt shrugged. "You ready to work?"
"I'm ready for that stair stepper."
"I thought I told you next week. You haven't been on the walker that long." Burt said as he watched the expression on Hutch's face. He got just the reaction he wanted, a look of sheer determination.
"I'm ready now," Hutch answered wheeling himself toward the stair stepper. "I'm tired of sleeping in the den I want my bed back."
"OK," Burt said trying to sound like he was giving in.
Burt locked the wheels on the chair and put Hutch's walker in front of him. "You walk from here."
With out a word or a complaint, Hutch got up and gripping the walked moved rather quickly the rest of the way to the stair stepper. Burt helped him get positioned on the machine. He set it low so that it would be easy at first. Hutch worked the machine for ten minutes before Burt made him stop. Sweat was pouring off his face and his legs ached but he was doing it.
Hutch grinned at Burt, "Hey that wasn't bad," Hutch said.
"You wait until tomorrow." Burt said. "You'll feel it in those muscles you haven't been working."
"When can I get rid of this damn thing?" Hutch asked indicting the walker.
"I'll tell you what boss. Since you did so well today if you can prove to me you can use a cane then on Monday we'll toss this thing. Deal?"
"Deal!" Hutch said.

It was nearing four p.m. when Susan peeked in on Starsky. He was still sprawled across Hutch's bed. He hadn't moved since flopping there that morning. Libby had come over earlier but they had decided just to let him to sleep it off.
Susan had to almost force Hutch to his therapy that day. After their talk he seem reluctant to leave. But the hospital transport had come and she made him go. She needed some time just to digest all that had happened. She wondered if it were still possible for her to work with Starsky any more or if it were better that she stay behind the desk. Susan couldn't stand everybody being unhappy. The only ones that seem happy were Davy, Sam and Deanna who were getting to spend every waking minute together.
Jesse had been moody it was getting time for her to really make a decision where she was going. She had to turn one of them down. Susan knew that Jess kept saying that she wanted to go to UCLA but deep down UC was really where she wanted to be. That was the college she had talked about going to for years. She had been there many times to visit Mrs. Gray's daughter and her family and just love Cincinnati and the school. And then there was the romantic part of her parents finding each other again there too.
The front door slammed with a loud bang. Susan thought that is was Hutch returning from the hospital but it was Jesse. She had a hand full of mail in one hand and was waving a letter in the other.
"Damnit," Jesse shouted.
"Jesse Marie Hutchinson, is that anyway to talk," Susan cautioned.
"Sorry mom," Jesse apologized. "What are you doing home?"
"I didn't go to work today." Susan told her. "What's wrong."
"Oh I was hoping Cassie could come out the first week of Aug but she can't get off work. They want her to work right up until school starts if she does then they will let her work there on holiday breaks and have a job next summer." Jesse sighed flopping down on the couch.
"I'm sorry honey. I know she put off her trip earlier because of Daddy," Susan said patting her on top of the head. "Maybe you could go out there?"
Jesse hopped up her eyes glowing, "You think? Really? That would be great!"
"I'll talk to daddy about it, we'll see if we can work it out." Susan said hugging her daughter.
"What's going on out here?" Said Starsky as he stumbled from the den. He actually looked worse if that was possible.
Jesse skipped across the room, she grabbed him and spun him around, "Mom said I might be able to visit Cassie!" she squealed.
Starsky's eyes went wide and he covered his ears, then blew out a big breath of air. "Ohhhh…please stop Jess." Starsky said turning green. The whole room was spinning and he felt like he was going to throw up.
Susan went to rescue him from Jesse's excitement, "Why don't you come sit, I'll get you a drink."
"No more drinks I have had enough," Starsky moaned. As he fell onto the couch.
"I was thinking more on the lines of coffee." Susan said shaking her head. "I think you have had enough beer to last you a life time."
"What are you doing here?" Jesse asked. "Doesn't anybody around here work anymore?"
"Very funny Jesse." Susan said. "Why don't you go pick something out for dinner. Oh and call Libby tell her sleeping beauty has awoken."
Starsky was on his second cup of coffee when Hutch came in. He hated the walker with a passion and once seated in one of the living room chairs gave it a swift kick sending it tumbling over. "Damn thing," Hutch mumbled under his breath. He caught sight of Starsky half laying half sitting on the couch. "You look like hell."
"Thanks," Starsky said squinting at him. "How'd the session go?"
"Good, Burt said I can chuck this thing next week if I can walk with a cane." Hutch said giving the metal frame another kick for good measure. "Man I feel like ninety when I use it."
"Look it too," Starsky snickered with mischief in his blue eyes.
"Why if I could get over there with out that damn thing you would be in trouble." Hutch growled.
"Yeah yeah," Starsky goaded him. "I'd like to see ya try old man."
Hutch glared at his friend. He pushed himself out of the chair. He stood and took a couple of unsteady steps toward Starsky.
"Hutch no," Starsky jumped up forgetting his head was still pounding. On Hutch's third step his left knee gave out on him and Starsky caught him just before he hit the floor. They both fell on the couch, Starsky caught the coffee table with his leg sending it toppling over.
Susan was s till in the kitchen helping Jesse decide what they were having for dinner when she heard the crash from the living room. Fearing the worst both mother and daughter dashed to see what happened. When they reached the living room Starsky was laying half on the couch with Hutch on top of him and the coffee table was tipped over. A glass vase that had been sitting in the center of the table was shattered on the floor water and flowers were scattered over the room.
"What in the world is going on in here?" Susan asked running to help the two men untangle themselves. Jesse was almost in hysterics from laughing.
"Will you stop laughing Jesse," Susan said giggling her self. "It's not funny."
"Mom you got to be kidding," Jesse laughed. "Just look at them."
"Get off me," Starsky said chuckling. By now they were all laughing so hard that they were pretty much helpless to do much of anything.
None of them heard the front door open until Libby spoke, "You have all gone nuts! What are you guys doing?"
Starsky tried to explain as he was untangling himself but every time he tried they would all just start laughing again. Finally he just gave up trying to talk and helped Hutch back to the chair he had been sitting in before it all started.

~Chapter 23~

Hutch grabbed the mail as he was going into the house. They had just come from dropping Jesse off at the airport. She was on her way to see Cassie. There was a large manila envelope wedged in the box. He glanced at the return address then stuck it under the rest of the mail.
For the last two weeks Hutch was getting around with a cane, he had gotten rid of the walker after only week to Burt's surprise, Hutch had been far more determined than he had first thought. Their sessions were now down to just twice a week instead of every day and Burt was confident that by the end of the month Hutch would no longer need him. Hutch was hoping that by Christmas he would be totally rid of the cane all together.
Susan and Davy went over to see how Libby was doing. Now in her fifth month she was doing great, looked wonderful and her anemia was gone. Hutch took the mail into the den it was now officially the den again, the hospital bed sent back to the rental place. He sat down in his chair tossed the rest of them mail on his desk and looked at the manila folder. It was from the University of Cincinnati. He closed his eyes for a moment then slowly opened the flap.
A broad smile spread across his face as he read the cover letter. They wanted him to come there to teach. He would be teaching the same class that he had taught there years before. And to even make things better Jesse would get free tuition since he would be employed by them. His was sure that his friend Samuel had put in a good word from him all though the man had long ago retired. He was so excited that he was almost beside him self. He was bursting to tell Susan.
Hutch started out of the den but stopped. How was she going to take the news? Jesse would love it since he knew that was really where she wanted to go all along but Susan and Davy? Davy would adapt quickly but his wife would be giving up everything, leaving her job, her friends…Starsky. Starsky, he miss him dearly. They had been friends forever, been through everything, were together all the time. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all he thought leaning in the doorway.
Susan and Davy came in the front door. Davy ran straight through the house to the back yard. Susan noticed Hutch standing in the doorway. He had a solemn look on his face. "You ok honey?" she asked walking over to him. She was worried that the walk in the airport had been too much for him. He had insisted watching Jesse board the plane.
Hutch nodded then instead of answering her just handed Susan the letter from the college. She looked at it briefly, "What is this?"
"A job offer," he said watching her face to see what her reaction would be.
"A job?"
"Teaching criminology." He elaborated. "And I was thinking of even taking some classes in my spare time. But the best part is that with me working there Jesse would get her tuition free."
Susan looked at the letter then to Hutch then back at the letter. She opened her mouth then closed it again she didn't know what to say.
"I know this is kind of a shock," Hutch said. "I didn't think I would really get it after last time but I guess Samuel put in a good word for me again. He's on the board now."
"This is wonderful, I think," She said unsure, her mind was racing a mile a minute. "Jesse would get to go where she wants to go and you would have a wonderful job teaching something you love and I…I…"
"You could apply for a detective job there if you want or maybe try something else." Hutch smiled at her. "Hell be a stay at home mom, you have always wanted to do that. We won't have the cost of Jess's college we could swing you staying at home."
"When do you have to let them know?" she asked hesitantly.
"I have until the end of the month, classes don't began until the middle of September." Hutch said. "If you are really opposed to this I did write UCLA also but I haven't heard back from them."
"I think we all need to sit down and discuss this. Davy has friends here, we have our home and friends." Susan was trying to come up with a valid reason for not leaving. But they all seemed lame even to her ears. She could get a new job, even stay home, Davy would make new friends as they would. But it would mean leaving Starsky, Libby and the girls. They were more than friends they were family. In fact the only other family that she had except for Hutch and the kids.
"Honey I know it's going to be hard leaving Starsk and Libby. But sometimes it's just time to move on and I think this is our time." Hutch tried to reassure her. "Things seem to be falling in place."
She nodded her head numbly. "I think we should wait until Jesse gets back to discuss this."
"Susan Jesse is eighteen years old she will go where we go and you know she wants more than anything to go to UC. This can be my gift to her, she can have her school and her family." Hutch persisted. "Starsky will be just fine with out you."
"Don't keep throwing Starsky up in my face," she flared. "He has nothing to do with this."
"He has every thing to do with this. As much as I love him and as much as I hate to say this we need to get distance from him right now. I honestly think our marriage depends on it."
"What are you trying to say?" Susan said close to tears.
"I'm asking you to do something that you said I should have done years ago." He said. "I'm making you chose me or Starsky it's just that simple. Come to Cincinnati with me or stay here with him. I'm going."
"No discussion no nothing?" Susan said tearfully.
"We just discussed it as afar as I'm concerned," Hutch told her.
"But…but," she stammered.
"But nothing the die has been cast now it's you turn. I will call them tomorrow telling them I accept the job then I'm going to start looking for houses there. You do, as you like. The kids are coming with me."
"You make it sound like I have been having some cheap affair or something. I have never ever been unfaithful to you." She yelled.
"Maybe not physically but emotionally you have. I want all of you not just part time. I know that you and Starsky try very very hard but it's just not enough anymore. This accident has put things in a different perspective for me. You know Jess is willing to give up her dream college for me. What are you willing to give up?" With those final words Hutch took the letter from her and went into den slamming the door. She heard the lock turn something that he had never done before. He had just locked her out of his life.
Susan stood there looking at the closed door Hutch had never given her an ultimatum at least not where Starsky was concerned. Now he had and she had to choose. She didn't want to loose her family but on the other hand there was Starsky they had been friends forever. And it was truly the friendship that she would miss. Libby would be having her baby in a few months she wanted to be there for that. How could she choose? Susan grabbed her purse and car keys and left.

Starsky and Libby were sitting at the dinning room table going over the papers that their lawyer had drawn up along with Huggy's lawyer. After a week of persuading and a couple of dinners with Huggy and Kit, Libby finally decided that his idea of going in with Huggy might not be so crazy after all. All of Huggy's bars were doing a booming business and he wanted to expand and do a full fledge restaurant. After discussing it with lawyers and whatnot they found that it was a sound business investment.
Starsky signed the bottom of the page then passed it over to Libby. She took the pen just as she started to write she stopped and looked up at him. "This is what you want?"
"Yeah it really is. I need to do something different. This sounds interesting and fun." He grinned at her. Libby nodded and just as she started to sign again the phone rang. "I'll get it you sign."
"Susan there?" came Hutch's voice on the other end of line when Starsky picked up the phone.
"No, I thought you guys were taking Jess to the airport."
"That was a couple of hours ago. Her car is gone."
"And you thought that she drove over here?" Starsky asked puzzled. "Hutch what's going on buddy?"
Hutch sighed, "We had a fight I went in the den slammed the door and when I came out she was gone. No note nothing."
"Don't worry she is just probably cooling off some place," Starsky said but he didn't like the tone of Hutch's voice. This had been more than just a fight. "You want me to come over there we could go look for her?"
"Not must yet but maybe in a while if I haven't heard from her." Hutch answered. He would need somebody to drive him. He still wasn't allowed to drive yet.
"Ok you take it easy and let me know if you hear from her and I'll do the same."

Susan woke up, her head was pounding, she looked around trying to figure out just where she was. A face she didn't know appeared in front of her. "Doctor she is coming to."
"Mrs. Hutchinson?" said a familiar voice. It was Doctor Kancel leaning over her looking into her eyes with a light.
"Wh…where am I?" Susan asked.
"You were in a car accident and are in the hospital." The doctor answered. "But you and the baby are just fine."

~Chapter 24~

"Baby!" Susan said stunned. "I’m not pregnant."
Dr. Kancel smiled. "When you came in your were unconscious, it's our policy to do a pregnancy test on women before x-rays. Yours came back positive."
Pregnant, just what they needed in an already complicated situation. She had been so upset when she had left the house. All Susan wanted to do was to get away think. She felt like her heart was about to break and as she drove she suddenly realized that what she feared most was losing Hutch not Starsky. Hutch had been the one whom she had loved from the beginning, what had happened slowly between her and Starsky she didn't know. But she did know that if she lost Hutch she would lose everything.
Susan grabbed her purse from the seat next to her and began to fumble for her cell phone that had migrated to the bottom of her purse as always. She had to call Hutch had to let him know that she loved him and would go anywhere with him. She didn't see the car that was stopped in front of her until it was too late. Susan slammed into the back of the vehicle throwing her into the steering wheel.
Gently Susan touched her forehead there was a bandage there. Her ribs hurt and her left arm. "You are fine," Dr. Kancel reassured her again. "You have a small cut on your forehead, bruised ribs and a nice bruise on your arm there other than that you are just fine. I also had our resident OB check you when we got the tests back. You are just a few weeks along."
Susan didn't know what was more shocking the fact that she had been in an accident or that she was pregnant. For God sakes she was forty years old and had a daughter going off to college.
There was a light knock at the door and Burt stepped in. "I heard they had you down here in Emergency."
"Hi Burt," Susan said holding her hand out to him. Burt came across the room and took her hand. "Any body called Hutch yet?"
"I was just on my way to do that when the nurse called saying you were awake. I'll go make that call now. I had told them to wait I thought it might be better coming from me." Dr. Kancel smiled at her.
She smiled back in agreement, "Dr. please don't say anything."
He nodded and left the room.
"What are we going to do with you?" Burt teased. He had been come very fond of the Hutchinson family over the last several months.
"What time is it?" she asked. It had been around 11 a.m. when they had gotten home from the airport.
Burt check his watch, "Going on 6 p.m."
"Oh my god I have been gone for hours I bet Hutch is going crazy." She said as her eyes filled with tears.
Burt patted her hand, "Everything is going to be just fine, you'll see."

Hutch was beside himself with worry and blaming himself for setting an ultimatum that caused her to run off. Starsky had come over earlier and they had cruised the streets looking for her, checking all her favorite haunts but nothing.
They had come back to the house. Libby took Davy to their house so that he wasn't aware of what was going on. Starsky stayed with Hutch. When the phone rang they both pounced on it. Starsky beat Hutch to it but handed it over to him. "Hello?"
"Hutch? This is Dr. Kancel."
"Oh," Hutch said disappointed. "What can I do for you Doctor?"
"Well your wife is over her in the ER," he said. "She had a small car accident but she's just fine."
"What? Dear God," Hutch said tears flooding his eyes. "What have I done?"
"Pardon?" the doctor said not understanding.
"Nothing, are you sure she is ok?" Hutch asked.
"Cuts and bruises that's about it. Do you have somebody that can bring you to the hospital?"
"Yeah we are on our way."
Starsky was pale, as he has listened to the one-ended conversation. "What happened," he asked the moment Hutch hung up the phone.
"Susan was in a car accident. That was Dr. Kancel calling to tell me." Hutch said. "We have got to get to the hospital."
"Let's go I'll tell Libby when we get back, she'll just worry if I tell her now," Starsky said. He helped Hutch to his feet and handed him his cane. The day was beginning to take its toll on him.
Burt was gone by the time Hutch entered Susan's room. She was laying there staring out the window at the decreasing light. Susan heard the door open and she turned to see who it was. Hutch stood there with Starsky right behind him. "Oh Hutch," She said sobbing.
He went to the bed and took her in his arms gently minding the bruised ribs. "It's all right honey." They just held each other rocking back and forth. For the first time Starsky felt like an outsider, he quietly slipped from the room.
"What happened," he murmured to her.
"I was trying to find my phone," she said. "I wanted to…to tell you that I'll go any where you want to go. I love you I can't live with out you."
The words he had waited to hear and now it hurt to think that she could have died because of him forcing her to chose. "It doesn't matter anymore," he said as he smoothed her hair. "I don't care where we live, just as long as you are all right."
Dr. Kancel came in the room. "Ahh I heard that you had arrived. You can take her home, she's fine but might want to see her regular Doctor." He looked directly at her. She knew what he was referring to and she nodded at him and smiled.
Hutch stood up and held out his hand to the doctor, "I want to thank you Dr. Kancel for taking care of my wife."
"No problem. I heard that they had brought her in and I came down to check. You two just take care of each other."
"Oh we will," Hutch said. "Don't worry about that."
After getting Susan released they found Starsky sitting in the waiting room. He jumped up when he saw them. "Are you ok?"
"I'm fine," she said giving him a brief hug. Suddenly things had changed they both felt it. Susan went back to Hutch and leaning on each other they headed for the car.

Later that evening Susan was sitting propped up in bed. The soreness was starting to set in. Hutch came in with two glasses of wine. "Here maybe this will make you feel better."
She took the glass he handed her and sat it no the table next to her. "Hutch sit down."
He put his glass down too and crawled in next to her. "Ohhh this sounds serious," he teased.
"Well I guess it is." She said smiling. "I found out something while I was at the hospital today."
Hutch frowned as he put his arm around her, "What is it honey?"
"It's their policy at the hospital to do a pregnancy test on woman before they do x-rays."
"What does that have to do with you?" Hutch asked confused.
"I was unconscious when they brought me in. So they couldn't asked me." Susan said.
"Are you trying to tell me that you are pregnant?" Hutch asked. He felt his heart sink. Susan nodded. "How is that possible?"
"I'm only…" she began.
He hopped off the bed. "Glad to know you have been fateful. So just how long has this been going on? What poor crippled Hutch so you turned to Starsky? Or was it going on before then? UH? Just how long damn it?" He shouted.
"Damn it Hutch shut up," she screamed crying. "You won't even let me finish. I’m only about two weeks along. Don't you remember what happened a couple of weeks ago? How the hell are we going to have a marriage if you don't even trust me?"
Hutch stopped in his tracks, "Two weeks?" He turned to look at her shame written across his face. "I'm sorry. It's just…"
"I know," she said. "I haven't given you much reason to trust me."
He shook his head, "I do trust you. It's just with everything going on."
"Shhhh…" Susan said taking him in her arms. "Forget it."
"We are going to have a baby?" he said with delight in his voice."
"Yep," She giggled.
"God I'm going to be ancient by the time this one graduates." Hutch joked.

~Chapter 25~

Just before the doorbell rang Hutch said, "Let me talk to Starsk alone.
Susan nodded. They had decided to ask Starsky and Libby over for dinner to spring the news on them. Jesse would be home in just two days and they wanted things smoothed out before her return. Susan got one of the neighborhood girls to watch the kids over at Libby's so that they wouldn't have any interruptions.
Hutch went to answer the door and Susan went to the kitchen for some beer and stuffed mushrooms that she had made. When she emerged from the kitchen Starsky and Libby were sitting side by side on the couch. Susan sat down the tray of mushrooms a couple of beers and two waters with lemon on the coffee table. "How are you feeling Libby?" Susan asked smiling at her friend.
"Great!" Libby exclaimed. "I went to the doctor this afternoon. He said I'm doing wonderful. My iron is fine, my weight, the baby's growth is right on schedule. Looks like some time around the first of the year we well get to meet little Kenny.
Hutch grinned at her. They were both burst with the news of their little bundle but wanted to wait until after they had told them about the move. He handed Susan one of the waters and the other one to Libby. "Here you go ladies."
"Thanks," Libby said taking a sip. "Susan you really don't have to drink water just because of me."
"I'm not, I just didn't feel like a beer tonight." Susan said trying not to smile.
After the mushrooms were gone Hutch suggested that he and Starsky go out into the back yard before dinner. As soon as they left the room Libby asked. "Ok so how far along are you?"
"What?" Susan asked astonished.
"Oh don't acted so shocked," Libby giggled. I thought you were pregnant the other day."
"How?"
"I don't know there is just something different about you. And then this evening when you were having water instead of beer I knew it?" Libby shook her head. "You should know by now you can't keep anything from me."
"Does Starsky know?" she asked almost holding her breath.
"No, I figured that is why you were having this dinner tonight." Libby answered.
"Well that is only part of the reason." Susan told her.
"Don't tell me you are having twins." Libby leaned closer looking at Susan still grinning.
"God no, well at least I don't think so," Susan said. "Hutch got a job."
"That's wonderful, where?"
"Well that's just it…" Susan began.
Out side Starsky walked across the yard to sit in the swing that he had Hutch had put up for Jesse years ago. He pushed him self off with one foot so that he swing back and forth. "So what's up?"
Hutch sighed and pulled a chair near the swing. "You know me too well buddy."
Starsky laughed and he pumped himself higher. "Don't keep me in suspense."
Hutch cleared his throat. "Well I have been offered a teaching job."
"That's wonderful," Starsky said jumping out of the swing at its highest point off the ground. He landed on his feet then sat down in the grass next to Hutch. "So why the glum face?"
"It's not here," Hutch said waiting for his reaction.
"Hey you can commute, it won't be so bad."
"It's a bit far to commute to," Hutch answered. This was so much harder than he thought it was going to be. He loved Starsky dearly and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt him.
"Just where is the college?" Starsky asked. He suddenly had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"Ohio," Hutch practically whispered.
"Ohio, Ohio?" Starsky choked out. "Like in the Ohio that is half way across the country from here Ohio?"
Hutch nodded. "I applied there because I did work there once and that is where Jesse really wants to go. I thought if we all went it would be so much easier on her."
"But we aren't all going," Starsky said with a touch of anger in his voice. "You, Susan and the kids are going."
"I'm sorry Starsky, I know the timing sucks with your baby coming and all but we can't wait. The school year starts mid September." Hutch felt like crying as he looked at the devastated look on his friend's face. "We can visit in the summers and holidays."
Starsky got up and walked a few steps from Hutch then turned on him. "You know Susan and I were over this stuff we have it worked out, we…we are fine you know."
"Starsk this has nothing to do with that." Hutch said.
"Oh the hell it doesn't," he spit out. "You can't wait to get her far away from me. Nothing has ever happened nor will it ever happen. I love Libby and Susan loves you and that is how it is."
"Starsky quit fooling yourself. I think some distance between you too and what you are saying will be true but it's not true now. All you and Susan are doing now is avoiding each other. She transferred, you quit, she doesn't sit by you on the couch, and you won't stay in a room alone with her. I could go on and on. The whole thing is stranded, I feel it Libby feels it and I know the two of you feel it. Maybe some space will help you forget, or at least get over and go on. It's the best thing for both of you and you know it. Jesse will graduate in fours year then who knows maybe we'll move back."
"No you won't," Starsky said. "You won't move back here and put her close to me again and you know it."
"You are making more out of this than there is." He almost wished now that he had just let Susan tell him or just told both him and Libby at the dinner table. "Starsky I love you. You are my best friend, actually more than a friend. You know more about me than anybody else in this whole world. You know what I'm thinking before I even say it. Starsky please please understand why we are doing this." Hutch pleaded he had tears standing in his eyes. He was beginning to have second thoughts, if this was going to cause so much pain then maybe it was the wrong decision.
"I'm sorry," Starsky came back to stand next to him. "I'm being selfish aren't I. I know Jesse won't go unless you all go. We had a talk that day we went and played tennis. She is so scared of loosing you that she is willing to give up everything. You know at eighteen if she can make a sacrifice like that then I should be able to at my age."
Hutch pulled Starsky in to his arms and hugged him tightly. "We'll stay in touch I promise you. We can call, write, e-mail, and visit. It won't be exactly the same but we can still stay close."
Starsky smiled at him but he knew that as time went on the calls wouldn't be a frequent, the letters wouldn't come once a week but once a month if that and they would all be too busy to visit. It would be hard traveling with the kids and all. "Sure Hutch sure. We'll stay close," he said trying to sound confident. They slapped each other on the back and then broke their embrace.
"I bet dinner is ready," Hutch said as he started toward the house. "You coming?"
"Right behind you buddy."
The meal to say the least was very quiet. Both men could tell by the tear streaks on Libby's face that Susan had told her about the move also. Starsky kept glancing up at Susan then back to his plate. The lovely meal that Susan had prepared went almost untouched.
After clearing away to dinner dishes, Libby brought out dessert plates and Susan carried out a huge chocolate cake and sat it in the center of the table. "We have a bit of good news. Maybe we should have told it first," She said winking at Hutch. All though it hadn't made any difference with Libby.
"More news?" Starsky said with a sarcastic tone, "I don't know if I can stand anymore.
Libby kicked him under the table, "Starsky!"
He grinned, "I'm sorry go ahead."
Susan looked at Hutch, "You do the honors hon." He smiled at her.
"Well looks like we are going to have another addition." Susan said grinning ear from ear.
Starsky knitted his brows not understanding what she meant. He thought a few moments then his eyes went wide with surprise. "You mean your…your pregnant?"
"Guilty," Susan said blushing. She was still having a hard time getting use to the idea of being pregnant at her age. It was true lots of women were having children at her age even older but she never thought she would be one of them. She was also worried what Davy and Jesse was going to think.
Starsky came around the table and gave her a huge hug then quickly stepped back. He suddenly realized what Hutch meant. He felt awkward hugging her in front of Hutch and Libby and it shouldn’t be that way. She was his best friend next to Hutch and if he wanted to hug her he shouldn't feel guilty about it but he did. Everybody in the room noticed how he stepped away from Susan. Including her, a pained look spread across her face, she hated what they had become.
"I'm sorry," he stammered and left the room.
Libby got up to follow him. "May I?" Susan asked. She looked at Hutch who nodded his consent.
"Sure," Libby smiled at her.
Susan found Starsky in the back yard staring up at the moon, it was full and bright lighting up the whole back yard. She came up behind him and wrapped her arms around him laying her head on his back. "It's going to be all right." She said.
He wrapped his arms around hers. "You think so?"
"I know so. Let's give it some time and space. I think it will be easier the next time we are together. Maybe we'll be back in four years."
Starsky emitted a bitter laugh. "Same thing Hutch said."
"See then maybe it will be true then." Susan said. "It's just hard right now. We can't even be friends because we are both scared to be together. We are so afraid that one of them will read something into what ever we say or a look or a touch that we can even hardly be in the same room. I don't want it to be like that do you?"
He shook his head slowly, "No I hate the way things are. But I don't want you guys to leave either."
"I know, I know." She pressed her face into his back, her tears wet his shirt. "You will always be my Lancelot." She whispered softly then she turned to go back into the house.
Starsky just stood there and without turning around he answered. "And you my Guinevere."
Susan hesitated for only a second then continued back into the house.

~Chapter 26~

Jesse's plane landed right on time Davy was jumping up and down as he watched the passengers disembark. He had missed Jesse something awful. When Jesse came through the doors Davy threw himself into her arms. She had to drop her carry luggage in order to catch him. Susan had to peel her son away so that Jesse could walk. Hutch grabbed her bag and they headed to get the rest of her luggage at the carousel. Neither of her parents could get in a word as Davy had to tell his sister every thing that he had done while she was gone.
"What did you bring me?" he asked finally.
Jesse laughed. "Oh I see, that's the only reason you are excited."
"No it's not I missed you too."
"Don't worry squirt I got ya something I got everybody something. But you don't get it until we get home OK?" She said ad she ruffled his hair. She looked over at her parents and smiled. She had missed them terribly and had made her even more determined not to leave home for college.
As they were driving home Jesse asked, "So what's new?"
Hutch and Susan looked at each other, they weren't sure how either of their children were going to take the news. "Why don't we wait until we get home?" Hutch suggested.
"Oh no," Jesse sighed. "What's going on now? Their live had seemed to be turned up side down lately.
Susan laughed, "It's good news honey. Or at least we hope you will think so."
"I think it's great!" Davy piped up.
"Oh you do uh?" Hutch teased. "And just what do you know?"
"I'm going to have a baby brother!" Davy said bouncing up and down in his seat.
"Oh Davy where to do you get this stuff." Jesse laughed. "You watch way too much TV. So what's really going on?"
Susan sighed this wasn't really the way she wanted to tell Jesse she was going to be a sister again. She would have rather of waited until they could have all sat down. "Davy would you like to tell me just how you know?"
"I over heard you and Aunt Libby talking. She was saying it would have been neat if the babies could have been raised together." He said smiling.
Hutch cringed he glanced over at Susan she was also making a face. They both hoped that Jesse wouldn't pick up on what Davy had just said.
"You mean it's true Mom you are pregnant?" Jesse said appalled. Susan nodded her head. "God mom you are old enough to be a grandmother."
"Jesse Marie!" Hutch scolded. "What an awful thing to say to your mother."
"Well it's true. For god sakes I'm going to be a freshman in college and my mother is having a baby?" She stormed. "How could you?" Then she fell silent for the rest of the way home.
Susan was relieved even though her reaction to the baby wouldn't have been what she hoped but at least Jesse hadn't picked up on the rest of Davy's over heard conversation. She would have been wondering why they wouldn't be raised together. The rest of the ride home was quiet. The moment that they pulled in the driveway Jesse jumped from the car stormed into the house and went to her room. Leaving her parents to bring in her baggage.
Starsky came across the yard, "Where's Jesse, " he asked.
"In the house pouting," Hutch said trying to carry one of the heavier bags and lean on his cane.
Starsky took the bag from him and picked up the other one. "She just got home what could she be mad about already?" he chuckled.
"Big mouth here told her about the baby." Susan said gently flicking the back of Davy's head.
"I didn't know it was a secret," he whined.
"Never mind," Susan said as she hugged him. "Go play ok pal?"
"How did Davy know?" Starsky asked.
"He over heard Libby and I talking." Susan said shaking her head. "You would think I would have learned by now."
"What about the move?" he asked as he followed her into the house.
"She didn't figure that one out all though he just about told her about that do without even realizing it." Hutch said.
"Well I hope she takes it better than I did," Starsky said.
"Never mind," Susan teased as if she were talking to a second son. "Why don't you go play in the back yard with Davy you can use the practice."
They couldn't get Jesse to come down for dinner it was close to 10 p.m. before she finally emerged from her room driven by hunger. Jesse softly came down the stairs she peeked into the living room. Her parents were sitting on the couch holding hands and Davy was laying on the floor they were all watching some re run on TV. She slipped into the kitchen unnoticed or so she thought until her mother opened the door.
Jesse had just squirted mustard on a slice of bread when Susan spoke making her jump, "We need to talk honey."
"God Mom you scared me to death." Jesse said. She finished making her sandwich. "I really don't see what we have to talk about. You are having a baby what do you want me to do?"
"You can accept it" Susan said. "Believe me I was in shock when I found out." Then she explained to Jesse just how she came to find out that she was pregnant.
Jesse's anger turned to concern. "Mom are you OK? You didn't tell me you were in an accident."
Susan brushed her worry away. "It was really no big deal. I didn't even spend the night in the hospital."
"I'm sorry," Jesse said getting up to hug her mother. "I acted awful. It might be fun to have a baby in the house. I guess there will be two. They will get to grow up together, that will be kind of neat."
Susan frowned. "Jesse Daddy and I need to talk to you and Davy. Come on into the living room."
"Why don't I like the sound of this?"
Jesse followed Susan in to the living room and joined her parents on the couch. Hutch turned the TV off and after a few complaints from Davy got him to join them. Davy climbed up on Hutch's lap and snuggled against him. Jesse smiled a bit envious she could remember when she did that as a child. But she was too old now to do that or so she thought.
"I got offered a job teaching," Hutch told his children.
"Teaching?" Davy said confused. "But you are policeman."
Hutch smiled. "Yes I was but now I'm going to teach college students about being a policeman."
"Oh Dad that is so cool," Jesse beamed at him. "Maybe I'll get your criminology class. I have to start picking my classes soon."
"Jesse, there is more." Susan said.
"You guys have been busy while I was gone," Jesse grinned.
"Honey", Hutch said reaching for her hand. "I was offered the job at UC."
Jesse looked at him opened mouthed for a few moments. "You mean we are moving to Ohio? All of us?"
Hutch nodded. "That is if we all agree. Your mom and I think the move would be really great for all of us. What do you think?"
Jesse sat stunned for a few minutes. Thoughts were running so fast through her head that she was having trouble processing it all. First the baby and now moving. But moving would mean that she would be going to the college that she had her heart set on since forever. And she would have her whole family with her too. Except…except Starsky and Libby and the girls they wouldn’t be coming or would they. "What about Uncle Starry?"
Susan looked at her. "No they would be staying here. Starsky is going into business with Huggy. But we can visit when we can and there's always phone calls and letters."
"Well, I do really want to go to UC and it's not like we have never lived in Cincinnati before." Jesse said. "And it won't be forever right?"
"Just what I told Starsky," Hutch said. "After four years if we want to come back then we can."
"Then my vote is yes." Jesse said slowly.
"Davy?" Hutch asked.
"Where's Ohio?" he asked
"It's a long way from here," Jesse answered her little brother.
"Do they have TV and baseball there?" he wanted to know.
They all laughed, "Yes dear," Susan said.
"Then I guess it's ok," he said.

It was very early the next morning Susan was standing out side in the back yard looking down at a small wooden cross near the back fence. The name "Bear" was carved into it. Bear had been the families golden retriever and had died year before last. They had buried him in the back yard. All of them had been so heart broken that they couldn't bring themselves to get another dog.
"I wish Bear could go with us," Jesse said. She had seen her Mom from the kitchen window and had gone out side.
"I do miss the big guy," Susan said sadly. "He was a great dog. Maybe we'll feel like getting a puppy in our new house."
"Maybe," Jesse said. She pulled her robe around her tightly. The thought of moving still scared her to death. Going off to college before Hutch had gotten shot had never fazed her. But now knowing the whole family was moving and she wouldn't have this house, her house to come home to scared her.
"We are going to have to start packing soon. Dad has been house hunting on the Internet." Susan said as she put her arm around her daughter's shoulders. "We might have to move into an apartment for a little while."
"I'll just go live in the dorm," Jesse joked. "I can't image being in an apartment with this crew."
"It won't be for long," Susan said swatting her on the butt. "I think you can put up with us for that long."
"Mommy you are going to miss Uncle Starsky aren't you." Jesse said in a serious tone. It wasn't an accusation but merely a statement.
Susan wasn't sure what shocked her more the fact that for the first time Jesse had called him Starsky instead of Starry or the way she had said what she said. She didn't say it like Susan would be missing all of them just Starsky. Could Jesse know? There was no way that she possibly know. Susan went over and over in her mind. "Yeah I'm going to miss him a lot. We have been partners and friends since, well since I wasn't much older than you."
"Any you fell in love with Daddy then too." Jesse smiled. She knew the story by heart but she loved to hear it over and over again.
"Yeah, from almost the moment we met. I was totally gone after the first time we danced. He held me in his arms and I knew he was the one for me." Susan said with a dreamy look in her eyes. She was transported back all those years. She was young and had just met these two brash detectives. She had felt comfortable with them from the beginning. Fell right into their lives and them into hers. It had been the happiest day of her life when she had been place with them permanently. There was no going back. They had been through everything together, the joys, the tears, the pain, and the love.
"Mom?" Jesse said toughing her mothers shoulder.
Susan snapped back to reality. "Sorry honey, I was just thinking."
"It's going to be different uh?" Jesse said sadly.
"Yeah, but we have each other, it will be all right," Susan said kissing Jesse's forehead and then hugging her. "Everything is going to be wonderful.

~Chapter 27~

Boxes littered the room it was hard for Susan to pack up all their things. They had been through so much in that house. The moving van would be there by the end of the week. She was packing their treasures and personal things the movers would get the rest. Susan had Jesse in her room taking a last look around making sure that she had everything that she would need right away. Davy was also giving his room a last look. He was the most heart broken since it was the only home he had ever known. As for the rest of the house Susan and Hutch had been working on it. Now the only room left was the living room.
Susan stood in the middle of the room and looked around her gaze came to rest on the snow globe that Starsky had given her when they had been snowbound in Dobey's cabin. Every now and again she would allow herself the luxury of thinking of those couple of days. She walked over to the fireplace and picked up the globe. Slowly she turned it upside down, she allowed all the snow to collect in the top of the globe. Then she flipped it over and watched the snow fall in the trees. She felt a knot form in her throat and fought to hold back the tears as she remembered them lying in front of the fire trying to keep warn. The kiss they shared the things that they said that would never be spoken again, the closeness that they were allowed to have without the fear of hurting anybody.
After the last bit of snow had fallen she took the globe wrapped bubble wrap around it and put it down in a box with some of her other treasures. She hadn't seen Hutch standing in the doorway watching her. He leaned heavily on his cane he had come to ask her about a picture he had found still hanging on the kitchen wall. They were always finding little things here and there that they wanted to pack them selves. He sighed and left the room with out asking leaving his wife with her thoughts.
Hutch went back to the kitchen and sat down at the table. He wondered if they were doing the right thing. He could see the pain this was causing Susan. And even though he and Starsky had talked things out he could still feel the strain whenever they were all together. They had lived for all these years with out any trouble why now? Hutch could hardly stand seeing the two people that he loved the most in the world be in such pain.
Hutch decided he needed to get out of the house for a while. He didn't even bother telling Susan he was going just slipped out the patio door and through the gate in the back yard. As he was going around the side of the house he caught a glimpse of Starsky sitting on his back porch, a case of beer at his feet. Hutch walked over he was nearly on top of his friend before Starsky looked up, he was already half drunk. "What are you doing out here?" Hutch asked.
"Getting drunk, whas it look like," he slurred.
"Where is Lib's?" Hutch asked looking around.
"She went shopping with the girls," he said as he popped another can open. "You want one?"
"Sure," Hutch sat down next to him. He took the beer that Starsky handed him. "So how are the plans for the restaurant going?"
"Ok," Starsky said but he didn't elaborate. "How's the packing going?"
"We are getting the little stuff packed, things that Susan doesn't want the movers to handle." Hutch answered.
"End of the week?" Starsky asked.
"Yeah, Susan and Jesse are going to drive their cars, Davy and I are going to fly. They will leave Saturday and us the next morning." Hutch explained. "The doctor doesn't think it would be good for me to sit in a car that long."
"So you aren't going to take that dump of a car with you?" Starsky asked about Hutch's car. It was always the butt of his jokes as Hutch had made fun of the Torino.
"I thought I would sell it," Hutch said. "That is unless you want it." Starsky just laughed and shook his head.
"Find a house?" Starsky asked. Actually he wasn't really that interested but couldn’t think of anything else to talk about.
"No not yet, there are a few I'm going to look at when we get there. But I figure we will have to find an apartment for a while." Hutch answered. He waited for his next question, when it didn't come he looked over at his friend and even with the fading light he could tell Starsky was crying. He slid closer and put his arm around his shoulders.
"What am I going to do with you?" Starsky whispered. "I don't even know how to be me with out you. I have been trying for weeks. Things haven't really been the same for years. Ever since you made captain nothing has been right. It's like that was the beginning of the end."
"I know," Hutch sighed. All this was partly his fault. He had taken himself out of the picture letting his two partners fend for them selves no wonder they just kept getting closer. "I love you buddy nothing will ever change that. No matter what else happens, it's always me and thee."
"Yeah," Starsky emitted a bitter laugh. "Thousands of miles away. Do you really think that is going to change anything?"
"Honestly? Yeah I do, you have to learn to lean on and depend on Libby, not me and not Susan. You owe her that much. Libby is crazy about you always has been. And I know you love her but she doesn't have all of your heart and she should."
"I know," Starsky sighed. He looked at Hutch. "I never meant to fall in love with Susan. It just happened, and I don't know how it happened. I never pursued her ever. It was like one day I opened my eyes and knew that I no longer just loved her but was in love with her. Scared the hell out of me. I didn’t know what to think. I felt awful, how could I do this to you. How could I do this to her? But as time went on I found that she felt the same way, it wasn't like we sought each other out we didn’t need to. We were together sometimes twenty-fours at a time. Maybe that is what happens when people are just too damn close to each other I don't know. And if I could go back and change things I would in a heart beat. Then you guys wouldn't be leaving and…and…" Starsky stopped he fell back on the wooden flooring of the porch spent by his emotions and his confession to Hutch. This was the first time he had ever talked to Hutch about his feelings for Susan.
"Starsky, it's alright, it really is." Hutch said flopping back next to him. They both laid on their backs and watched the stars pop out one by one. "Neither of you planned to fall in love, it just happened. And to tell you the truth I think it has made my relationship with Susan even stronger. Kind of kept me on my toes. I think sometimes in marriage you get lazy with your mate but I never did. I was afraid if I took her for granted that she would go to you.
They finished off the case both of them were pretty drunk when Susan walked into the back yard. She had gone looking for Hutch and not finding him figured he was over at Starsky's. She stood and watched them for a few moments. Both of them laying side by side on their backs singing some dopey song. It tugged at her heart to think that moments like these wouldn't happen again or all least for a long time. Maybe they were making a mistake, could Hutch live with out Starsky. They were so close it had hurt her to see the distance between them in the last few weeks. They rarely talked anymore and when they did it had been stupid stuff like the weather or the baseball scores. Maybe she could just go with Jesse and leave Hutch there with Davy. Who was she kidding she didn't want to live without him either.
Finally she walked up to the porch and looked down at them. They both had stopped singing and closed their eyes at first she thought they had both passed out. She smiled lovingly at them and started to walk away.
"What ya want?" came Starsky's voice.
"Just wondering where my packer had gotten off to." She said with a catch in her voice. This had to be the hardest thing in her life.
"Come join us," Hutch said.
"Naw I need to finish some stuff," she answered wanting to leave them to their selves.
"Oh come on," Starsky said, "It's not the same with out all of us."
"Yep the three Musketeers," Hutch said. He scooted over to make a space between himself and Starsky then he patted the porch. "Come on."
Slowly Susan walked over and sat down on the edge of the porch between them. Then she laid back and looked at the sky, it was a beautiful clear night. All the stars were out twinkling. Suddenly a star shot across the sky, she squeezed her eyes shut tightly making a wish. She felt Hutch take her right hand, at the same time as if choreographed Starsky took her left in his. A single tear slid down Susan's cheek and into her ear for her wish had just come true. They were as they had been in the very beginning they were all friends once again. She looked up into the heavens and mouthed the words "Thank you."

~Chapter 28~

The Hutchinson family pulled into the driveway. They had been out getting last minute things for Susan and Jesse's drive across country. A for sale sign was prominently displayed in their front year. The realtor would handle everything and get the money to them. With the price of houses in California they would really be able to get something huge in a great neighborhood in Cincinnati where housing was much cheaper. Hutch had found several wonderful houses already.
As Hutch approached the front door he saw a white piece of paper taped there. "We expecting a delivery or something?" he called to Susan. She and Jesse were getting bags out of the trunk and Davy was out inspecting the sign the realtor had put there earlier.
"Not that I know of why?" she called back.
"There is a note on the door."
"Well why don't you read it," She said coming up the sidewalk juggling two bags.
Hutch pulled the note from the door and opened it. He read it and frowned then looked at Susan, "Says to go around back."
Susan laughed, "What have Libby and Starsky done now?"
They all crept around to the back yard and as they came though the gate many voices yelled, "SURPRISE!"
Hutch and Susan were speechless, Davy dashed into the yard loving being the center of attention and Jesse was as shocked as her parents. A huge banner was hung from the trees that said "GOOD LUCK". All their friends were there and standing just inside the gate was Starsky and Libby grinning at their best friends. Many picnic tables were set up and a long table laden with food sat at the far end of the yard.
Susan threw her arms around Starsky's neck then Libby. "You guys are the best," she said through her tears.
Hutch hugged Starsky, "Thanks buddy this really means a lot to us."
Huggy came up with Kit and hugged them both. Then Captain Dobey with Edith, Max and Burt were there as many of their friends from the station. Lots of Jesse and Davy's friends were there also. And one very special surprise that Starsky had arranged just for Jess.
Out of the crowd came Cassie, Jesse squealed when she saw her and ran to hug her best friend, "What are you doing here?"
Cassie smiled at her, "Your uncle flew me here."
Jesse looked across the yard where Starsky was standing talking with Huggy and her dad. He glanced up and winked at her. She gave him a broad smile. "Thank you" she said all though she knew that he couldn’t hear her over the talking and music.
"I have another surprise for you too," Cassie said with a mischievous grin.
"What could be better than having you here?" Jesse wanted to know.
"I'm riding with you to Ohio." Cassie exclaimed.
"What? Are you kidding me?" Jesse screamed and threw her arms around Cassie again.
"Starsky thought you might like a little company on that long trip." She grinned.
"NO WAY!" Jesse said still in disbelief.
"Go ask him yourself," Cassie said.
Cassie and Jesse ran hand and hand to where her parents were standing. "I guess Cassie told you the news," Hutch said shaking his head as he looked at Starsky.
"Isn't it the greatest?" Jesse bubbled.
"I can't believe that Karen and Jim went for it." Susan said of Cassie's parents. Then she pouted, "Who's going to ride with me?"
Starsky grinned, "Got that covered too. Hold on just a sec."
"What is he up to?" Susan asked Libby but her friend refused to answer.
A few minutes later Starsky returned holding a six month old Golden Retriever which he handed to Susan. "He can ride shot gun."
"Awww Starsky," Susan cried hugging the puppy.
"I know it's not very practical but he's already house train and rides well in the car." He smiled at her. "So what are you going to name him?"
Susan eyes sparkled as she said. "I think I'll name him Starsky after my favorite detective."
Starsky actually blushed and Libby started laughing. "I guess you aren't in the dog house with the gift." Libby leaned over to Susan. "I told him that wasn't a good thing to give you right before along trip."
The puppy squirmed to be let down so Susan sat him on his feet. He went tearing after the kids who were racing around the yard. Hutch and Susan mingled with all their guest saying their good byes with smiles and tears. They were going to miss everybody so much. But as time neared for them to make the move it felt more right, like it was meant to be.
Starsky went looking for Jesse and found her sitting in her old swing gently swinging. He could tell she was deep in thought as she swung undoubtedly thinking of all the good times she had in the house. He came up behind her and caught the swing bringing her to a stop. She giggled and looked around some how knowing it was him.
"I have something for you," He said.
"More? You already brought Cassie here," she smiled. "What more could I want?"
"Well I wanted to get you something to remember me by." He said slipping his hand into his pocket and producing a small velvet box. Starsky held it around in front of her.
For a moment Jesse only looked at it then slowly took it from his palm. She opened the box and inside was the most beautiful ruby ring she had ever seen. The ruby was in a gold setting with two little diamonds on each side. She caught her breath and looked up at Starsky. "It's beautiful," She whispered.
He took it from the box and held it side ways so that she could read the inscription. 'Love always Uncle Starry' he placed it on her ring finger on her right hand then kissed her hand. "I'll always be here for you just remember that no matter what happens."
Jesse jumped up from the swing and threw her arms around him. "I love you so much." She said sobbing. She couldn't have loved him any more if he had been her father. He had always been there for her. He had taken her to the zoo, fed her pizza and rolled around on the ground like a child with her. They had both been scolded when Susan thought they were being too childish or too loud. Starsky was her best friend, when she couldn't talk to her parents he had always been there to listen. Jesse wondered how she would get though college with out him. She could be happy at UCLA it didn't really matter anymore where she went just as long as she could be with the people that she loved dearly. But she knew that her going to UC wasn't the only reason they were leaving there were under laying things going on that she didn't even want to know what they were. She had an inkling at what was happening but she wouldn't allow her self to even go there. For she loved the adults too much in her life.
"I'll never take it off," she said tearfully as she clung to him.
There was a shrill whistle from the food table. Everybody gathered around to see what was going on. Huggy came out of the house carrying a huge cake with white icing and purple flowers. He sat it on the table and then called for Starsky.
Starsky came to stand by the table bringing Jesse with him she was holding his hand and still looking tearful. He motioned for Susan, Hutch and Davy to join him. Libby came to stand by his side. "I just wanted to say a few words before we cut the cake," he said clearing his voice. "All of us here are going to miss Susan, Hutch and the kids but no body more than I. They were my family before I had one of my own. Hutch has been my brother his unwavering loyalty has been proven time and again. And Susan you have been there for me no matter what. It's going to be hard when you leave but I know with a friendship like ours we will never truly be apart for we will carry our love for each other in our hearts."
There wasn't a dry eye by the time Starsky got done with his speech. A few others came up and said a few words Huggy, Dobey and even Burt came to say how much he admired the courage of their family. Then they cut the cake and shortly after that the party begin to break up. Susan and Hutch hugged everyone saying their good-byes once again as their guests left.
The puppy was running around carrying a paper plate, Davy, Sam and Deanna were sound asleep under one of the tables, and Jesse was picking up napkins from the yard. Susan shook her head as she surveyed the mess but she was more than happy to clean it up. She would always be grateful to Starsky and Libby for getting their friends together for one last good by. Susan glanced around the yard to see where they had gotten to. The couple was standing together near the gate, she could tell they were deep in conversation, Starsky had one arm around Libby's neck and his other hand on her ever growing stomach.
It warmed her heart to see them like that. Hutch came up and kissed her cheek. "They are going to be just fine," he said following her gaze.
"I know," she said softly. "We all are."
After they had all finished cleaning up the yard, the guys sat down at one of the picnic tables for a few beers, the kids went up to bed and Susan invited Libby into living room. They sat down on the couch, the room looked funny with nothing on the walls or shelves. Susan pulled a cardboard box over next to her.
"Libby I have something that I want you to have." Susan said reaching into the box. She took out a wrapped object and handed it to her friend.
"Susan I didn't get you anything," Libby said softly.
"Are you kidding you gave us this lovely party, what more could I have wanted?" Susan asked.
Libby smiled at her and slowly unwrapped the gift. It was the snow globe that Starsky had given Susan years ago. "I can't take this." Libby said.
"Sure you can," Susan said confused.
"But Starsk gave this to you." Libby said. Susan looked at her in shock wondering how Libby knew about the globe she had never said a word about it not even to Hutch. It had just always had its place on the mantel. "He has one too sitting on his desk at home. He won't talk about it but I know it has to mean something special to both of you."
Susan smiled at her. "It does, but the globe belongs to you now. I have my memories here." She said placing her hand over her heart.

~Chapter 29~

Starsky and Hutch stood in the middle of the building that had been bought for the restaurant, it was an older building and had been empty for a couple of years but with some tender loving care it would make a fine restaurant. Workmen buzzed around as Starsky took Hutch on a tour. Libby was showing off the kitchen that was well on its way to being completed. Huggy and Starsky had enlisted Libby's help in designing the kitchen and she loved every minute of it. They all met back up at the front door, Huggy was supposed to be meeting them there any minute. Starsky had a final surprise for Hutch.
"It's going to be lovely," Susan smiled at Starsky. "I wish we could be here for the grand opening."
"It probably won't be until around Christmas maybe you guys can come back during school break for it." Starsky suggested. He hated the thought of them not being there for his big night.
"That might be worked out," Hutch said winking at him. "So what's this place going to be called anyway?"
Starsky's blue eyes sparkled as he answer, "The Precinct, you like?"
Susan laughed, "That's wonderful Starsk. Great name."
"I'm sure that name will bring in a lot of old friends," Hutch teased him.
At that moment Huggy stepped out of the sun and into the darkened building. He had a package under his arm. "I got'em," he said.
"Good," Libby exclaimed. "I can't wait to see them."
"Then you do the honors," Huggy said handing her the package.
"What is it?" Susan asked curious.
Libby went over to apiece of plywood that was laid across two saw horses and put the package down. She tore off the brown wrapping and held up a menu. "Would you like to see what we will be serving?" She handed them each a menu.
They all inspected the selections. Huggy, Starsky and Libby were looking for printing mistakes but Susan and Hutch were looking to see what they would be serving. Suddenly Hutch's mouth fell open and he pointed to a dish under appetizers. It was called Hutch's Black Bean Soup. He looked up at Starsky and grinned. Another few selections down Hutch found Susan's Famous Stuffed Mushrooms and pointed it out to her.
"You guys!" she exclaimed. "This is so cool."
"We had to figure out some way to keep you with us." Libby said smiling at her.
"Oh and one more thing." Starsky said. He disappeared into the back for a few minutes then returned carrying a frame. He handed it to Susan and Hutch. "This is going to go on the wall along with other pictures I'm going to have fellow cops donate."
They looked at the photo in the frame. It was a picture of the three of them not taken long after Susan had become their partner. Starsky and Huggy had already gotten some other photos from Dobey. "They are going to go all over the walls in here." Huggy explained. "Kind of our tribute to our boys in blue."
Susan's eyes filled with tears she seemed to be crying a lot these days. She just wanted it to be over, the last two weeks had been agonizing. Planning, packing, telling people good bye, she just couldn't take much more of it. She was now almost a month pregnant and it was making her emotions run even higher and she was physically worn out. She leaned on Hutch for support feeling like she was going to faint. Starsky was quickly by her side and the two men helped her out to the car.
After getting her seated in the car Starsky looked at Hutch worried. "Are you sure she is going to be able to drive that distance by herself?" Starsky asked.
"I don’t want her doing it but she is insisting. It's crazy." Hutch said. "But you know how stubborn she is. Can't tell her nothing."
"Will you talk some sense into her?" Starsky said to Libby as she came out the door.
Libby climbed in the car with her friend. Susan had her head leaning back on the seat with her eyes closed. "You all right?" Libby asked feeling her forehead.
Susan opened her eyes and smiled, "I’m fine just beat."
"You need to get some rest. You guys leave in the morning." Libby said. "We are worried about you driving."
"The girls will be right behind me and I have my co-pilot," Susan said referring to the puppy.
"God I’m going to miss you girl," Libby said this time it was her eyes filling with tears. "I really wish you were staying on.
"We'll be back for visits," Susan said taking her hand.
"When we get home I have something for you." Libby told her.
"I told you that the party was enough," Susan insisted.
"I know but this is special."

Once they were back home Susan found out what the special gift was. While Hutch and Starsky went to start the barbecue for their last dinner together Libby made Susan sit on the front porch. She went in and came back out carrying a wrapped package and handed it to Susan.
The moment Susan saw the package she knew what was in it. She peeled back the bubble wrap, it was the snow globe. She looked at her friend in confusion. "I don't understand."
"Susan I want you to keep it. I know that you and Starsky have a very special relationship and I don't mind I really don't. This globe is something very special to both of you something that you should keep. I know what you were trying to tell me when you gave it to me. It doesn't belong with me but with you."
Susan was so choked up that she couldn't even speak she just nodded and hugged Libby tightly. It had broken her heart to give her the globe for it was the only thing that she had left of her Starsky. Some how Libby had understood. There were no words to express what she was feeling so she just held on to Libby.
There was a lot of laughing coming from the back yard so the two women got up to see what was going on. When they got to the back of the house they found the kids along with Starsky and Hutch chasing each other around throwing water balloons at each other. They were all soaked and the fire had long been forgotten. Susan and Libby joined in on the action and were soon as wet as the rest of them.
Later that night the grown ups sat in the back yard talking. There seem to be so much to say and their time was up. Susan, Jesse and Cassie would be leaving in the morning. Hutch and Davy then next morning, they would be staying with Starsky their last night for he was driving them to the air port early Sunday morning.
When Susan and Hutch went home that night they stood in the living room for a long time before finally going up to bed. Just before they went up Susan placed the globe back in the box she had taken it from.
"What's that?" Hutch asked.
She was hesitant to tell him at first. But they were starting a new life and she didn't want to build it on lies. "The snow globe that Starsky gave me." Susan said looking at him so that she could read his reaction. "I gave it to Libby and she gave it back to me this evening. She wants me to keep it."
Hutch smiled at her. "Good I'm glad, there is nothing wrong with hanging on to a piece of the past."
Susan put her arms around him. "I do love you."
"I love you too."
They went up stairs for their final night in their house.

~Chapter 30~

The day dawned dark and gloomy almost as if gods knew it was going to be a sad day. Susan stretched lazily as she woke, she was trying hard to pretend that it was just another Saturday morning. But when she opened her eyes reality set in when she saw the bare walls and the stacks of boxes around the room. She reached next to her but Hutch was already up most likely putting last minute things together. She got up slipped her robe and padded down to the kitchen. That was where she found Hutch, he was leaning in the doorway looking out into the back yard.
She came up behind him wrapping her arms around his waist. "Hard isn't it." Susan said, it was more of a statement than a question.
He nodded, "We have had a lot of good times here."
"We'll have good times there," She said.
"I know but it's going to be hard with out Starsky, I already miss him."
"We don't have to go if you would rather stay here. I’m sure UCLA would be happy to have you and Jesse has all ready excepted there." Susan said. She wasn't sure what she would do if Hutch just said OK they would stay. It was breaking her heart to leave but on the other hand some distance might be just what all of them needed at least for a while.
Hutch stood there as if thinking over what Susan had offered up but then slowly shook his head. "I think this is right for us for now." She was glad that he hadn't added that they could always move back. That had been said so many times that she was almost sick of hearing it. For in her heart of hearts she some how knew that they would never be back at least not to live.
"I guess we had better get busy the movers will be here in an hour," Susan looked at her watch. It was 7 a.m. they hoped to have everything in the moving van no later than 1 p.m. and have her and the girls on the road soon after. They wouldn't get far the first day but just that much closer to their destination.
Jesse and Cassie came into the kitchen looking for something to eat. Davy tagged along behind them. Jesse opened the refrigerator she sighed forgetting that they had emptied it the day before. Jesse looked at her mom, "We're hungry what are we suppose to eat?"
"Great with all that was going on I didn't even think of breakfast this morning." Susan groaned. "We don't have time to go out. I guess one of us will have to run to the store."
The doorbell rang, "Wonderful," Hutch exclaimed. "They are early."
Davy ran to open the front door the rest of them followed. When Davy opened the door Starsky stood there, he was holding a large box and balancing two cardboard cup holders with cups of coffee, juice and milk in them on top. Under all that he held a small white bag in between his fingers. "Thought you guys could use something to eat, " He grinned at them. Jesse and Cassie went to Starsky's rescue relieving him of his load.
Starsky let them have everything but he bag he was clutching that he handed to Hutch. "This is specially for you."
Hutch took the bag opened it and peer in. He pulled out a large plastic cup with a lid. "What's this?"
"One of those heath drinks you love so much," Starsky ginned at him. "I went a heath food store."
"Thanks Starsky," Hutch said removing the lid and taking a drink. "It's good." Starsky just made a face at him.
The girls and Davy were digging in to the box of donuts that he had brought Susan sat sipping a cup of coffee as she watched them eat.
After they finished eating everyone went to get dressed and haul their luggage down. By then Libby, Sam and Deanna had made it over, the girls and Davy went to play while Libby helped Susan begin loading the car. Cassie and Jesse loaded up her mustang and then both cars were moved to Starsky's driveway to make room for the moving van.
Susan picked up the box that the snow globe was in and started across the yard with it. Starsky ran to catch up with her. "Here let me take that for you." He took it to her car but before he put the box in the back seat he pulled out the globe and looked at it. Starsky shook it and watched the snow fall. "Seems like for ever ago." He said.
"Yeah it does," she said softly. "But I will never forget."
"Neither will I." He put the bubble wrap carefully back around it and laid it gently in the box. After he had put the box in the car he stood up and looked in to her eyes. "I'm going to miss you."
"I'll miss you too." Susan stood on her toes and kissed his lips for the last time. Then she went back across the yard just as the van pulled in.
Starsky stood and watched her go. He touched his lips where she had kissed him. He knew that they were doing the right thing for if they stayed he could never let her go. Even with her gone he wasn't sure that he would forget but he would try for Libby's sake, for the sake of the kids and for his own sake as well as Susan's.
By noon the van was filled and the drivers were ready to move out. Hutch had the hood of Susan's car up checking out the engine. "For heaven sakes Hutch the garage check out both cars they are fine." Susan said.
"I know. I just want to make sure. You are full of gas, wiper fluid, oil and you have the cell phone right?" Hutch said going over his mental checklist.
"Yes dear."
"I still think that Davy and I should ride with you." Hutch said worriedly.
"Honey, the doctor says that you don't need to be in a cramped car that long and Davy would drive us nuts on this long of a drive. I'll be fine and so will the girls. I promise when we get tired we'll stop." She tried to reassure him. "And I'll leave messages with Starsky and Libby."
"Alright," he finally relented. "But if any thing happens to you."
She reached up and put her hands on each side of his head and brought his face down to hers. "Nothing is going to happen OK?" She rubbed his nose with hers then kissed him.
He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. "I guess we'll see you guys in four days.
She nodded as her eyes filled with tears; they were really going. Libby came over carrying Deanna in her arms. Susan kissed the little girl then hugged Libby and patted her stomach. "You take care of little Kenny." Then to Dee, "And you little Miss take good care of your mommy and daddy."
Deanna held out her arms to Susan, she took the child in her arms and buried her face in her curls. Then Sam came over for her good bye's she had tears running down her little face as she looked up at Susan. "I’m going to miss you." She said.
"I'll miss you too sweetie," Susan told her. "But you can come and visit us. There is a terrific zoo in Cincinnati, you'll love it."
Then Starsky came over, picked Susan up off the ground and swung her around. "You be careful you hear?" She nodded unable to speak. "I love you."
"I love you too." Susan choked out then ran for the car.
Hutch came leading "Starsky". He opened the passenger side door so that the puppy could hop in. He closed the door then went around to the driver's side and leaned into the car. "You be careful," he said for the millionth time. "I love you."
"For always," Susan said and kissed him. Then with a final wave she backed out of the driveway and waited for Jesse and Cassie. Jesse said her good-bye's quickly lingering only a moment with Starsky then the two girls got in her car backed down the driveway and followed Susan's car down the street. The ones left behind went to the curb to wave until the two cars were out of sight.

Sunday morning came all to quickly, the plane left at 10 a.m. which didn't leave a lot of time for long good-byes. Hutch told the girls and Libby good bye while Starsky waited in the car for him. Davy was heart broken to be leaving his favorite playmates. But he was also excited at getting to house hunt with his dad before everybody else arrived. With one last hug Hutch and Davy walked down the sidewalk to the Torino. Hutch took one last look at their home. There was a new sign atop the for sale sign that said 'Open House today 1-5' he was suddenly glad he wouldn't be there to see strangers parade through their house.
As he and Davy got to the car Starsky dangled the keys out the window, "Want to drive?"
Hutch laughed, "Nope I want to go out in style." He teased. "It wouldn't be the same with me driving."
The ride to the airport was a silent one. Each man with their own thoughts and each others too. They had come to terms with so many things in the last few months. Some things had been solved and others time would heal. As they got closer to the airport a lump grew in Hutch's throat, he glance at Starsky and could see he was wrestling with his emotions also. Starsky pulled in and parked then went and got Davy and Hutch's luggage from the trunk.
Just as they started to leave the parking garage Hutch said. "Just a second I forgot something." Starsky tossed him his keys and then waited with Davy while Hutch went back to the car.
Hutch opened the car door and slipped a white wrap package from is jacket pocket and sat it on the dashboard in front of the steering wheel.
Davy stood and watched the planes Hutch stood over him with his hand on his head but his eyes were on Starsky. "I guess this is it," Hutch said. "Our final farewell, I feel like I have been saying good bye for weeks."
"You take care of yourself," Starsky said tears welling up in his eyes. "You make sure Susan takes good care of herself and that baby."
Hutch nodded. "And you make sure Libby takes her iron." Hutch said with a crooked smile. "Good luck with the restaurant."
"I hope you like your new job," Starsky said.
Then they both looked at each other, "Oh hell," Hutch said tired of the small talk and he took Starsky in his arms and hugged him tightly. "I'm going to miss you."
Starsky clung to Hutch, "I'll miss you too buddy."
The boarding of the plane was announced over the loud speaker. They both clapped each other on the back and stood back for one long last look. Starsky reached down and picked up Davy. "Take care of your dad on the plane trip."
Davy nodded and put his arms around Starsky's neck giving him a big hug. "Bye, come see us."
"I will," Starsky promised.
"I love you," Hutch said as tears spilled down his cheeks.
"I love you." Starsky answered shedding his own tears.
With one last wave good bye Hutch and Davy went through the doors leading to the plane.
Starsky stood for along time after the plane left thinking of all the things that he and Hutch had been through, it was amazing that they had even survived but they had. Finally Starsky headed back to his car, as he slid in behind the wheel he saw what Hutch had place on the dashboard. He pick it up a tape fell out of the paper it had been wrapped in. Starsky read the note, all it said was 'For You with Love Hutch'. He turned on the ignition and slipped the tape in the player.

YOU WERE THERE

We made the distance,
Yeah, we made the day.
You made all the difference
'Cause you found the way.
Without your wisdom
Lord, where would we be
Lost in the wilderness,
Somewhere out at sea
.But you were there
Through the days of wine and madness,
When I'd always put you down.
You were there
Through my joys and my sadness
And you never let me down.
You found the meaning
And helped me to see
Where I was going to
All that I could be.
Without permission
You turned the key.
You climbed the prison wall
Deep inside of me.
You were there
Through the days of wine and madness
When I'd turn and put, put you down
You were there
Through my joys and my sadness
And you never let me down.
You were there
Through the days of wine and madness
When I'd turn and put, put you down.
You were there
Through my joys and my sadness
And you never let me down
.Let me down.
You were there.
You were there.
You were there.
by Eric Clapton