Till Death Do Us Part
By
Tooki
Detective Susan Carlston sat, her hands folded in her lap staring at the shiny black casket. Her daughter Jesse who was seven sat next to her, both of their eyes were dry, they had cried all they could cry. A hand grasped Susan's shoulder and she looked up into her partners blue eyes that held the same pain as her brown ones. He tried to get her to stand but she only shook her head not wanting to leave. Some how if she stayed it wouldn't make it true but if she left then she would have to admit that her husband was dead.
He had taken a bullet that was meant for her, Detective Ken Hutchinson had pushed her out of the line of fire the second before the bullet hit him killing the officer instantly. She should be the one laying in the casket and he should be the one sitting here feeling all the pain. It wasn't fair, he would never get to see his daughter grow up or have more children that they had wanted to have.
Again there was a tug and her arm, "Come on Honey," Detective Dave Starsky said softly. "Visitation is over, we need to go."
"I can't," she whispered. "I can't leave him here."
Starsky forced her to stand, "You have to, we need to get Jesse home." Her daughter's name got Susan to willingly move she knew he was right. She held out her hand for Jesse who grasped her mother's hand. Starsky steered them both to the door of the funeral home.
Before Susan left she looked back inside, "Good bye Hutch," she said with a catch in her voice. Jesse tighten her grip on her mothers hand but didn't look back. It was going to be hard with out the father she loved so much.
Starsky left them standing in front of the funeral home while he ran to get his red Ford Torino. As he slid in behind the steering wheel he smiled slightly thinking of Hutch making fun of his car. He teased him endless about it but Starsky would give anything just to hear his best friends voice. He started the car then picked up Susan and Jesse who were waiting for him.
They drove in silence to Susan and Hutch's townhouse; Starsky pulled into the drive and turned off the ignition. He started to get out of the car to escort his two passengers to the door but Susan put her hand over his. "I can't." she said softly.
He turned in the seat to look at her, "can't what?"
"I can't go in there, not now maybe not ever," Susan said as pain filled her voice.
Starsky nodded in understanding, he knew in time that she would want to go in but it was too soon. Hutch had only been dead two days. Starsky had shot and killed the man that had killed Hutch at least he had that satisfaction. But he could plainly see the guilt that Susan felt at not taking the bullet herself. It had been Hutch's finally gift to the woman he loved. Starsky knew that Susan would be able to go on with out Hutch. But if Hutch had been the one that had lived if the situation was reversed, Starsky was sure Hutch would be totally lost.
"You and Jess come and stay with me for a while," Starsky suggested as he looked into the back seat to wink at Jesse. Usually the mention of his apartment brought a smile to her face but to day her eyes looked huge and sad in her pale face. It made his heart break to see them like this. Dobey had told him to take as much time as he needed to make sure that Jesse and Susan were all right.
"I don't know," Susan said twisting a tissue in her hands. "It might not look right."
"Who cares what the hell people think?" Starsky growled. "We are partners and friends. Nobody will give it a second thought."
Susan gave him a sad look, "I know," she said almost inaudibly. She knew she was only reacting to her feelings for him. It wasn't fair, Hutch was dead but she still had somebody to love her. He started up the car and pointed in the direction of his place, there was really no where else for them to go. He could take them to a motel but that would be a horrible place to grieve.
"What's Mrs. Gray going to do?" Starsky asked with out taking his eyes from the road. Susan just shrugged and didn't answer. Mrs. Gray was Jesse's nanny who had taken care of the little girl since her birth.
Susan sighed, "I hope that she will continue taking care of Jess. I don't think she could stand to lose two people she loves." She hadn't really spoken to Edna Gray about what would happen now. But she would still need someone to care for Jesse, she would have to work to support the two of them. Susan had been doing some thinking about her job, she had left it once before not wanting to be a cop.
Starsky looked at her sideways, "What's going on in there?"
Susan gave him a half smile, it was the first since Hutch had died. "Just thinking," she responded. "I don't think I'm going back to work."
"Dobey said to take all the time you need. We both have tons of vacation time." Starsky assured her.
"No you don't understand," Susan said turning slightly in her seat. "I'm quitting the force. Jesse has lost one parent to the streets she isn't going to lose me too."
"Oh," Starsky said staring straight ahead. How would be ever be able to go back to work with both Susan and Hutch gone? He had been down that road once and didn't care to travel it again.
"Maybe I'll take Jesse and go back east to where Edna's daughter lives, it's nice there," Susan waited for her partner's reaction. She knew it was going to crush him but she just couldn't stay here.
"But what about us?" Starsky asked still not looking about at her.
"Us?" she asked. "I think it's a little to soon to be worrying about us. I have to get away from here for a while. I might be back."
He nodded stiffly, "Sure what ever you need to do." He hadn't really expected her to fall into his arms but it was coming as a shock that she was planning on leaving town. He wanted to yell what about him what was he suppose to do for comfort. It was bad enough losing Hutch but now she was going and Jesse too. He was losing everything.
Starsky pulled up in front of his apartment and got out. He went around the car to hold open the door for Susan and Jesse. Susan looked up into his face, they were standing so close together she hear him breathing. Suddenly she wrapped her arms around him burying her head in his chest. He instinctively put his arms around her holding her tightly, he felt little arms wrap around his leg and looked down to see Jesse standing against him. He had what he always wanted but this wasn't the way he wanted to get it.
He leaned down and scooped up the little girl then led them both to his apartment. At least the memory of Hutch wasn't so strong here but there were several photos of them all setting around. Susan sat down on the couch and Jesse climbed into her mother's lap. Jesse had hardly spoken since being told about her father's death.
"When are you leaving," Starsky was the one to finally break the silence.
"I don't know, soon. I guess after the funeral there won't be much reason to stay," she said. Starsky turned away from her but not before she had seen the hurt on his face. She got up from the couch and put her arms around him again. "I'm not running away from you and I don't want to leave you in your pain all alone. But Starsky it hurts too much to be with you right now. It was always the three of us, I keep expecting Hutch to come walking through that door any minute." Her voice broke and she couldn't go on.
"I know," he kissed to top of her head. He hadn't really thought of how hard it was on her just being with him. But he suddenly understood and realized that the only way he would ever have a chance with her was to let Susan go and heal, then maybe she would come back to him someday.
There was a huge turn out for Hutch's funeral. Susan, Starsky and Jesse sat in the front row. Dobey, Huggy Bear and Mrs. Gray sat behind them. The rest of the church was filled with fellow officers and friends; so many that several people were left standing out side. The persuasion to the graveside went on for blocks. After the twenty-one gun salute and a few words from Captain Dobey the flag that covered Hutch's casket was folded and given to Susan who in turned handed it to Jesse. Jesse clutched the flag as tears spilled down her cheeks. She held a white rose tightly in her fist, the little girl stepped forward and placed the flower on top of the coffin where the flag had been.
Susan also stepped forward and placed a bouquet of red roses that she held next to the flower from her daughter. Then she kissed the palm of her hand and touched the top of the casket, "Goodbye, I will always love you."
Late that afternoon Susan and Jesse boarded a plane with Mrs. Gray bound for Ohio where the older woman's daughter lived. It was almost as hard to tell Starsky goodbye as it had been leaving Hutch to the cold dark ground. They all cried and clung to one another as the plane was called for boarding. Starsky held out hope that Susan would change her mind right up until the time the plane took off. He stood in the waiting room for a long time after they had gone watching the planes take off and land. Finally he went home to his empty apartment and his empty life.
Several months passed with no word from Susan, every day Starsky found it harder and harder to go to work, it held too many memories for him. Finally after one especially bad day Starsky came home of find a letter in his mailbox from Edna Gray. He was disappointed that it hadn't been from Susan but he was eager for any news on her no matter who it was from. He quickly tore open the envelope and read the letter. A smile spread across his lips as he dropped the letter on the coffee table and went to pack.
The day that Starsky's plane arrived was a beautiful spring day. Winter had finally loosened its hold on spring allowing the bulbs to poke out of the ground and bloom. The grass was that fresh green color right after it rains and the air smelled so sweet. When he knocked on the front door of the ranch style house it had been Mrs. Gray who had answer the door. They had spoken briefly then she had lead him through the house and out to the back yard.
He saw her standing in the yard her back to him. She had on a pale blue calico dress and was bared footed even though the ground was still cool. A soft breeze blew her long hair away from her face. Starsky slowly walked toward her and as if she sensed he was there she turn to look at him. He stopped walking; his heart was beating so hard he thought it would burst from his chest. After all she hadn't invited him to come, she had made no contact with him.
Slowly a smile spread across her face as she realized it was him. Susan ran to him throwing herself into his arms and kissing him hard on the mouth. He held her tightly burying his face in her long hair as tears formed in his eyes. Finally he set her on her feet and they began walking arm in arm toward the house. They heard a shout from behind them, both turned and Jesse hurled herself into their arms. Starsky picked her up setting her on his shoulders they continued on to the house.
THE END
By
Tooki
Detective Susan Carlston sat, her hands folded in her lap staring at the shiny black casket. Her daughter Jesse who was seven sat next to her, both of their eyes were dry, they had cried all they could cry. A hand grasped Susan's shoulder and she looked up into her partners blue eyes that held the same pain as her brown ones. He tried to get her to stand but she only shook her head not wanting to leave. Some how if she stayed it wouldn't make it true but if she left then she would have to admit that her husband was dead.
He had taken a bullet that was meant for her, Detective Ken Hutchinson had pushed her out of the line of fire the second before the bullet hit him killing the officer instantly. She should be the one laying in the casket and he should be the one sitting here feeling all the pain. It wasn't fair, he would never get to see his daughter grow up or have more children that they had wanted to have.
Again there was a tug and her arm, "Come on Honey," Detective Dave Starsky said softly. "Visitation is over, we need to go."
"I can't," she whispered. "I can't leave him here."
Starsky forced her to stand, "You have to, we need to get Jesse home." Her daughter's name got Susan to willingly move she knew he was right. She held out her hand for Jesse who grasped her mother's hand. Starsky steered them both to the door of the funeral home.
Before Susan left she looked back inside, "Good bye Hutch," she said with a catch in her voice. Jesse tighten her grip on her mothers hand but didn't look back. It was going to be hard with out the father she loved so much.
Starsky left them standing in front of the funeral home while he ran to get his red Ford Torino. As he slid in behind the steering wheel he smiled slightly thinking of Hutch making fun of his car. He teased him endless about it but Starsky would give anything just to hear his best friends voice. He started the car then picked up Susan and Jesse who were waiting for him.
They drove in silence to Susan and Hutch's townhouse; Starsky pulled into the drive and turned off the ignition. He started to get out of the car to escort his two passengers to the door but Susan put her hand over his. "I can't." she said softly.
He turned in the seat to look at her, "can't what?"
"I can't go in there, not now maybe not ever," Susan said as pain filled her voice.
Starsky nodded in understanding, he knew in time that she would want to go in but it was too soon. Hutch had only been dead two days. Starsky had shot and killed the man that had killed Hutch at least he had that satisfaction. But he could plainly see the guilt that Susan felt at not taking the bullet herself. It had been Hutch's finally gift to the woman he loved. Starsky knew that Susan would be able to go on with out Hutch. But if Hutch had been the one that had lived if the situation was reversed, Starsky was sure Hutch would be totally lost.
"You and Jess come and stay with me for a while," Starsky suggested as he looked into the back seat to wink at Jesse. Usually the mention of his apartment brought a smile to her face but to day her eyes looked huge and sad in her pale face. It made his heart break to see them like this. Dobey had told him to take as much time as he needed to make sure that Jesse and Susan were all right.
"I don't know," Susan said twisting a tissue in her hands. "It might not look right."
"Who cares what the hell people think?" Starsky growled. "We are partners and friends. Nobody will give it a second thought."
Susan gave him a sad look, "I know," she said almost inaudibly. She knew she was only reacting to her feelings for him. It wasn't fair, Hutch was dead but she still had somebody to love her. He started up the car and pointed in the direction of his place, there was really no where else for them to go. He could take them to a motel but that would be a horrible place to grieve.
"What's Mrs. Gray going to do?" Starsky asked with out taking his eyes from the road. Susan just shrugged and didn't answer. Mrs. Gray was Jesse's nanny who had taken care of the little girl since her birth.
Susan sighed, "I hope that she will continue taking care of Jess. I don't think she could stand to lose two people she loves." She hadn't really spoken to Edna Gray about what would happen now. But she would still need someone to care for Jesse, she would have to work to support the two of them. Susan had been doing some thinking about her job, she had left it once before not wanting to be a cop.
Starsky looked at her sideways, "What's going on in there?"
Susan gave him a half smile, it was the first since Hutch had died. "Just thinking," she responded. "I don't think I'm going back to work."
"Dobey said to take all the time you need. We both have tons of vacation time." Starsky assured her.
"No you don't understand," Susan said turning slightly in her seat. "I'm quitting the force. Jesse has lost one parent to the streets she isn't going to lose me too."
"Oh," Starsky said staring straight ahead. How would be ever be able to go back to work with both Susan and Hutch gone? He had been down that road once and didn't care to travel it again.
"Maybe I'll take Jesse and go back east to where Edna's daughter lives, it's nice there," Susan waited for her partner's reaction. She knew it was going to crush him but she just couldn't stay here.
"But what about us?" Starsky asked still not looking about at her.
"Us?" she asked. "I think it's a little to soon to be worrying about us. I have to get away from here for a while. I might be back."
He nodded stiffly, "Sure what ever you need to do." He hadn't really expected her to fall into his arms but it was coming as a shock that she was planning on leaving town. He wanted to yell what about him what was he suppose to do for comfort. It was bad enough losing Hutch but now she was going and Jesse too. He was losing everything.
Starsky pulled up in front of his apartment and got out. He went around the car to hold open the door for Susan and Jesse. Susan looked up into his face, they were standing so close together she hear him breathing. Suddenly she wrapped her arms around him burying her head in his chest. He instinctively put his arms around her holding her tightly, he felt little arms wrap around his leg and looked down to see Jesse standing against him. He had what he always wanted but this wasn't the way he wanted to get it.
He leaned down and scooped up the little girl then led them both to his apartment. At least the memory of Hutch wasn't so strong here but there were several photos of them all setting around. Susan sat down on the couch and Jesse climbed into her mother's lap. Jesse had hardly spoken since being told about her father's death.
"When are you leaving," Starsky was the one to finally break the silence.
"I don't know, soon. I guess after the funeral there won't be much reason to stay," she said. Starsky turned away from her but not before she had seen the hurt on his face. She got up from the couch and put her arms around him again. "I'm not running away from you and I don't want to leave you in your pain all alone. But Starsky it hurts too much to be with you right now. It was always the three of us, I keep expecting Hutch to come walking through that door any minute." Her voice broke and she couldn't go on.
"I know," he kissed to top of her head. He hadn't really thought of how hard it was on her just being with him. But he suddenly understood and realized that the only way he would ever have a chance with her was to let Susan go and heal, then maybe she would come back to him someday.
There was a huge turn out for Hutch's funeral. Susan, Starsky and Jesse sat in the front row. Dobey, Huggy Bear and Mrs. Gray sat behind them. The rest of the church was filled with fellow officers and friends; so many that several people were left standing out side. The persuasion to the graveside went on for blocks. After the twenty-one gun salute and a few words from Captain Dobey the flag that covered Hutch's casket was folded and given to Susan who in turned handed it to Jesse. Jesse clutched the flag as tears spilled down her cheeks. She held a white rose tightly in her fist, the little girl stepped forward and placed the flower on top of the coffin where the flag had been.
Susan also stepped forward and placed a bouquet of red roses that she held next to the flower from her daughter. Then she kissed the palm of her hand and touched the top of the casket, "Goodbye, I will always love you."
Late that afternoon Susan and Jesse boarded a plane with Mrs. Gray bound for Ohio where the older woman's daughter lived. It was almost as hard to tell Starsky goodbye as it had been leaving Hutch to the cold dark ground. They all cried and clung to one another as the plane was called for boarding. Starsky held out hope that Susan would change her mind right up until the time the plane took off. He stood in the waiting room for a long time after they had gone watching the planes take off and land. Finally he went home to his empty apartment and his empty life.
Several months passed with no word from Susan, every day Starsky found it harder and harder to go to work, it held too many memories for him. Finally after one especially bad day Starsky came home of find a letter in his mailbox from Edna Gray. He was disappointed that it hadn't been from Susan but he was eager for any news on her no matter who it was from. He quickly tore open the envelope and read the letter. A smile spread across his lips as he dropped the letter on the coffee table and went to pack.
The day that Starsky's plane arrived was a beautiful spring day. Winter had finally loosened its hold on spring allowing the bulbs to poke out of the ground and bloom. The grass was that fresh green color right after it rains and the air smelled so sweet. When he knocked on the front door of the ranch style house it had been Mrs. Gray who had answer the door. They had spoken briefly then she had lead him through the house and out to the back yard.
He saw her standing in the yard her back to him. She had on a pale blue calico dress and was bared footed even though the ground was still cool. A soft breeze blew her long hair away from her face. Starsky slowly walked toward her and as if she sensed he was there she turn to look at him. He stopped walking; his heart was beating so hard he thought it would burst from his chest. After all she hadn't invited him to come, she had made no contact with him.
Slowly a smile spread across her face as she realized it was him. Susan ran to him throwing herself into his arms and kissing him hard on the mouth. He held her tightly burying his face in her long hair as tears formed in his eyes. Finally he set her on her feet and they began walking arm in arm toward the house. They heard a shout from behind them, both turned and Jesse hurled herself into their arms. Starsky picked her up setting her on his shoulders they continued on to the house.
THE END
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