TRUTHS
BY TOOKI
-CHAPTER ONE-
Thirteen year old David Kenneth Hutchinson peddled his bike down a road near his home, his twenty-one year old sister Jesse on her own bike raced to catch up with him. Davy was ecstatic that sister was finally home after being away at college four long years. He had missed her far more than he would ever admit to anyone especially to her. They were both laughing as they raced up the street.
Jesse didn’t mind riding bikes with her brother for if the truth be known she missed him too. At college there had been nobody to snoop through her things, pop in on her when she was having private conversations or endlessly bug her about doing something.
It was Jesse that first saw the car speeding toward them on the wrong side of the road. She yelled a warning at Davy who was looking behind him to see if she were catching up. By the time he heard her and looked around the car hit him head on sending his body flying in the air before landing on the pavement with a dull thud. Jess watched horrified knowing that her brother must be dead.
The driver of the car, a young man sped by narrowing missing Jesse who was rushing to her bothers side. Jesse spun around just in time to make out part of his license plate. Then she dropped to the ground next to Davy, his eyes were closed, a trickle of blood was coming from the corner of his mouth. Both of his legs lay in an unnatural position. She eased his helmet off his head as she called his name.
A groan escaped his lips but he didn’t open his eyes or move. “HELP US!” Jesse screamed at the top of her lungs, “PLEASE HELP US!”
Hutch, Susan and Starsky were just wrapping up their paper work for the day when the call came. Hutch answered the ringing phone. “Hutchinson.”
“Do you have a son named Davy?” asked the voice on the other end.
Hutch sighed, “What has he done now?” Davy was known for getting in to mischief, he wasn’t a bad kid, it was more or less the normal boy things, breaking people’s window with baseballs, picking the neighbors flowers or throwing eggs at cars at Halloween.
“This is County General, I’m afraid he was involved in an accident. He was hit by a car.” The voice answered.
Hutch’s blood ran cold, Susan seeing the look on her husband’s face came to stand by him. “What’s wrong?”
Hutch held up his hand. “How bad?”
“Sir I suggest you get down here.” The desk nurse in the emergency room told him.
“My daughter was she with him?” Hutch asked holding his breath. He knew that they had planned on spending the day together.
“Miss Hutchinson is fine, shook up but not hurt.” The nurse said, she was looking at the Jesse as she spoke. The girl was beside her self with worry. The nurse covered the receiver with her hand, “Honey would you like to speak to your father?”
Jesse took the phone. “Daddy?”
“Jesse, what happened?”
She began to sob, “God Daddy it was awful, the car came out of no where, Davy didn’t see it. The guy was driving on the wrong side of the road….”
“We are on our way sweetie, hang in there.” Hutch slammed the phone down. He looked at his partners, “Davy was hit by a car.”
“Dear god,” Susan said going pale.
“Come on,” Starsky said as he put his arm around her shoulders, “I’ll drive you two to the hospital.”
They arrived in the emergency room to find Jesse curled in a ball in one of the waiting room chairs. She sprang into her mother’s arms the moment Susan touched her shoulder. “Are you ok Jesse?”
Jesse nodded, “Its Davy, he is hurt so bad. I-I didn’t think he was even even…” she could finish her words.
A man in white came hurrying down the corridor, “Are you Davy Hutchinson’s parents?” He looked at the three adults.
“Yes, I’m his father, this is my wife and his mother,” Hutch said motioning toward Susan and his sobbing daughter.
“I am Dr. Davis, I need to speak with you immediately.” The doctor’s eyes told the cold hard truth it was bad very bad.
They followed the doctor into an empty lounge where he urged them all to take a seat. Susan sat next to Hutch grasping his hand preparing for the news. Starsky pulled Jesse down next to him in order to comfort her.
“Mr. and Mrs. Hutchinson your son is in grave condition. To be perfectly honest with you I’m not even sure how he is still alive. He has a mild concussion; if he had not been riding with a helmet he would be dead no two ways about it. He has two badly broken legs, a fractured arm but where is real injures lie are internally. He has a lacerated liver which in time will heal as will the other injures. Where Davy is in danger is his kidneys, one is crushed beyond repair or so show the x-rays. I won’t know for sure until I operate. But this is where the problem comes in; you can live with out one kidney but not two. The x-ray also shows that his other kidney is severely damage. Like the liver it could heal on it’s own but if it doesn’t, he won’t live very long.
Hutch felt as if the air had been sucked out of his lungs, he looked grief stricken at his wife. Susan sat with her eyes close trying to absorb everything that was being said.
Jesse had buried her face in Starsky’s shoulder trying to muffle her sobs. If she had only seen the car soon, if they hadn’t been racing if…if…if.
It was Starsky that spoke, “So what are you going to do about it?”
The doctor gave Starsky a brief smile. “This is what I purpose; I would like to test all immediate family members to see if they are a match to Davy. Then I would like to remove the kidney that is damaged beyond repair, replace it with a new kidney and hope that the other one heals. If it doesn’t then he will at least have one healthy kidney.”
“What are we waiting for?” Hutch asked getting up. “You can test me first.”
Susan shot a glance at Starsky, fear written on her face, this time it wasn’t fear for her son but fear that the truth would finally be known for all of them.
“We can take all of you right now.” The doctor said urgency in his voice. “At this moment Davy is stable, his legs and arms are being set in casts. “But we will have to move quickly. If none of you match well enough then we will have to put him on a donor list.”
Susan numbly got up as did Jesse. Starsky stayed seated, “I’ll be here when you guys get done.”
The doctor looked at Jesse, “How old are you honey.”
“Twenty-one.”
“Good.” The doctor put his arm about her shoulder and looked back at the detective. “You don’t want to be tested?”
“I’m not a relative,” Starsky answered wondering if he were telling the truth. “I’m their partner.”
“Partner?”
“We are detectives.”
“Ahhh I see. Well they won’t be long Detective Starsky.”
Susan watched at the vile filled with her blood, she knew they were doing the same to Hutch and to Jesse. “You will be able to see your son shortly Mrs. Hutchinson.” The nurse told her in hopes of comforting the woman she was taking blood from.
The detective only nodded lost in her own thoughts, thoughts that went back and forth from her son laying possibly dying to Starsky who was sitting in the waiting room. Thirteen years they had kept their secret, she and Starsky. Now they would probably find out for sure just who Davy’s father was. But she knew in her heart of hearts who it was. She had always known it was just something she had felt from the moment that she had found out she was pregnant.
“All done!” the nurse said a bit too cheery.
“Thank you.” Susan did as she was told to press a bit of cotton to the needle mark on her. The nurse presented her with a band aid. Susan took it with a nod of her head and slipped from the chair she had been sitting in. When she walked out into the hall Jesse and Hutch were waiting.
“We can see Davy, one at a time,” Hutch informed his wife.
“Why don’t you go on.” Susan said she wanted to check on Starsky in the waiting room. “Go with your dad Jesse. I’ll be along in a minute.”
Susan took a deep breath and headed for the room where they had left Starsky. To her amazement he wasn’t there, she looked around wondering where he had gone. Maybe to get a cup of bad hospital coffee, she wished she had a cup at that moment, with a little something stronger added to it.
As she started to leave the room she walked in to Starsky. “There you are.”
He smiled down at her, his eyes still make her weak in the knees. “We are done with the blood tests and they will let us see Davy one at a time. I thought you might want to see him.”
Starsky’s eyes filled with tears. He had willed himself earlier not to cry as he had to be strong for all of them but as he looked at her now his insides crumbled. “What are we going to do if…”
“We will cross that bridge when we come to it. Right now let’s just go and see how Davy is doing.”
Starsky followed her down the hall, what he hadn’t told her was that when they had left the room he had tracked down the doctor and had his blood tested too. The doctor hadn’t made comment; only set him up with a lab tech.
-CHAPTER TWO-
David looked so small to Jesse in the big white hospital bed. Dr. Davis had told them he was unconscious, he had many IV’s coming from his arms and Davy had a huge scrap on the side of his face. Tears coursed down Jesse’s face as she looked at her brother. This was her fault she was the oldest she should have protected him. Suddenly she remembered she saw part of the license plate number. Maybe they could track down this person and make him pay for what he had done to her brother.
There was a pad of paper in the drawer next to Davy’s bed. Jesse pulled it out and wrote down three letters CLA, she was mad that she didn’t catch the number behind it. But at least it was a start. Jesse ripped off the top piece of paper and tucked it into her pocket. Then she took Davy’s hand. “We will get him I promise you that Davy.”
Jesse opened the door and stepped into the hall, her mother, father and godfather were all waiting for her. She wrapped her arms around Starsky’s neck; she loved him almost as much as she loved her father. She was happy that he had been made her and Davy’s godfather for she knew that he would never let anything happen to them. She slipped the paper in his hand.
“What’s this,” he whispered in her ear. He figured that if she went to the trouble of handing it to him this was something she didn’t want her parents to see.
“It’s part of the license of the car that hit Davy.” She said in his ear.
“You mean the bastard didn’t even stop?”
She shook her heard. “I guess the police haven’t talk to you yet. I wanted to give this to you. Mom and Dad have enough to deal with right now.”
Starsky tucked the slip of paper in his pocket. “I’ll check it out.”
One by one they all went in to visit Davy, they were only allowed to stay a few minutes. The doctor came to check on his patient just as Susan was spending her few minutes with her son. “Dr. Davis I would like to stay with Davy tonight.” Susan said as she looked at her son lying so quiet and still. She had never seen him like that before. Even in his sleep he was constantly twisting and turning.
“Mrs. Hutchinson.”
“Susan, please.”
The doctor smiled at her. “All of you need to go home and get some rest. If one of you turns out to be a match for Davy they will need their strength. Getting worn out and sick now won’t help anyone especially your son.”
Susan sighed and nodded. She hated to leave her son over night. She wanted, needed to be with him.
They met early the next morning in Dr. Davis’s office, they would find out the results of the testing. Starsky almost hadn’t come, he had been hoping to talk to Susan before they arrived at the hospital but he hadn’t had the chance. He wanted to tell her that he had been tested too. This was no time for them try and be secretive. He sent a weak smile across the room to her hoping that she could read his thoughts.
Hutch and Susan had been up half the night unable to sleep. Their only thoughts were of their son who might not make it. The thought of having to bury him tore at their hearts. Jesse who was racked with guilty was up late also, she had fallen asleep with her light on. Susan had turned it off in the early hours of the morning.
Starsky had gone straight to the station to give the officers investigating Davy’s hit and run the letters that Jesse had managed to remember from the license plate. They had few leads and were happy for even part of the plate.
Dr. Davis hurried in a thick file in his hand. He greeted everyone then sat down at this desk and opened the file. “We have excellent news. We have a perfect match. “
Hutch let out his breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding it. Naturally assuming it was either him or Susan he stepped forward. “When do we get started?”
“Day after tomorrow if Detective Starsky’s schedule will allow it.” The doctor said looking at Starsky. “I would like to give Davy another day of rest to get a little stronger but we can’t hold off any longer than that.”
“I’m ready anytime you need me.” Starsky said he looked up at Hutch who was standing close to him. Hutch was ridged his hands closed into fists so tight that his knuckles were turning white.
Susan felt as though a bucket of ice cold water had been dumped on her head and her eyes immediately went to Hutch’s face also.
It was Jesse who broke the silence, “How can that be Uncle Starsky isn’t related to…” Suddenly it struck her and she looked at her mother whose face was ashen. “What is going on here? MOM?”
“We will discuss this later Jess,” Hutch said his voice strained. “All that matters is that Davy gets what he needs.”
“I don’t want to discuss this later I want to discuss this now,” Jesse turned flaming eyes on her mother then she swung them to look at Starsky. “Are you saying that Davy is Uncle Starsky’s son not Daddy’s? Is that what that report means.”
“Calm down sweetie,” Susan said her voice shaking.
“I am not going to calm down Mother,” Jesse’s voice was raising. “How could you?” She tossed the words at her mother. “HOW COULD YOU?”
“Jesse,” Hutch said sternly. “We can talk about this at home. This isn’t the time or the place.”
“That is a laugh; I guess it was never the right time or place was it? Our lives have been a lie all this time. A LIE! My god.” Then she turned to confront Starsky, her godfather, the person she had always turned to for advice. “So am I your daughter?”
Susan suddenly angry crossed the room and landed a resounding slap across Jesse’s face. “You stop this now!”
“Fuck you Mother,” Jesse threw at her mother.
Hutch stepped up and grabbed Jesse’s arm. “That is enough.”
“Damn straight it’s enough. I was going to wait until summer was over because I wanted to spend it with my family.” The word family was said with all the venom that she could muster. “Cassie is moving back here, she and I are getting an apartment together. We decided months ago, we were going to wait until fall but I’m calling her and telling her I want to move now.” Jesse jerked her arm from her father’s grasp and stormed out of the room.
Susan started after her. “Let her be.” Hutch ordered.
Dr. Davis sat stunned at what had transpired in his office. David Starsky hadn’t said anything about him being the father of the boy and the doctor had been wary when the results had come back. He even had the lab check twice to make sure. He thought that perhaps it was an anomaly. It hadn’t crossed this mind that the man was actually Davy’s father. “Detective Starsky there are some papers that will need to be filled out and some instructions that you will need to follow.
Starsky nodded his head but didn’t speak. He couldn’t take his eyes off Hutch. For the first time in years he couldn’t tell what Hutch was thinking. He realized that he might have just lost the only family he had left.
“Mr. and Mrs. Hutchinson if you would like to visit your son you may.” The doctor told them. “I will be down after Detective Starsky has filled out the forms. We will need both of your signatures later.”
Starsky reached up and grabbed Hutch’s arm he could feel the tension in his muscles. “Hutch I’m sorry,” Starsky barely whispered.
Hutch didn’t look down or acknowledge that his partner had spoken to him. He turned and left the office followed by Susan.
“You go be with Davy,” Hutch said with out meeting her eyes. “I need to find Jesse.”
“Hutch, I don’t know what to say.” Susan said as her eyes filled with tears. “I never wanted you to find out this way.”
“Let’s get Davy well first,” Hutch said as he turned and headed down the hall.
Shakily Susan leaned up against the wall wishing it were her lying in the hospital bed instead of her son. She desperately needed to talk to Starsky and as if he knew she needed him Starsky was walking slowly down the hall toward her.
She didn’t say anything put fell into his arms sobbing. “What have we done?”
“Where is Hutch?” Starsky asked looking around. All they needed was for him to see them like this.
“He went to find Jess.”
“God I never meant for any of this to happen. But I couldn’t let Davy die; I prayed that I wouldn’t be a match.”
“It’s alright I understand why you did it.”
“I still can’t believe that I have a son, it’s as shocking to me as it was for Hutch. I had convinced myself that Davy wasn’t mine that was the only way I could go on.” Starsky’s eyes filled with tears. “I might have found out I have a son but think I have lost Jesse and Hutch.”
“You’ll never lose me.” Susan said in a muffled voice against his shirt. “We might be all we have now.” She wasn’t sure if Hutch could take this. Their lives were hanging be a thread and this news could be the last straw.
“Jess?” Hutch called as he opened to the front door of their home. “Jesse are you here?” He walked into the living room; the water globe that had always sat on the mantle was laying on the floor dashed to a million pieces. Tiny shards of glass, fake snow and broken pine trees floated in a puddle of water. The wooden base was in several pieces. Hutch crouched down to look at mess, he reached out to pick up a curved piece of glass and cut his finger. He grimaced and stuck his finger in his mouth.
“Did you know?” Jesse asked she was standing in the kitchen door way.
“You shouldn’t have broken the water globe Jess, your mom loved it.” Hutch said standing up.
“Exactly, it should have never been up there.” Jesse said. “I’m not stupid and I’m not a little kid anymore.”
“I know you aren’t but you shouldn’t have broken it nor should you have talked to your mother like that.” Hutch said walking toward her.
“Don’t defend her Daddy,” Jesse’s eyes filled with tears and spilled down her cheeks. “You knew didn’t you?”
“About Davy?” he asked.
Jesse looked at him shaking her head, “About Davy, about mom and Uncle Starsky?” She could barely say their names.
“Jess lets just get through this with Davy right now then we will worry about the rest later.”
“Why do you keep saying that Daddy?”
“Because it’s the only thing I can handle right now ok?” Hutch put his hands on each side of his daughters face then kissed the top of her head.
Jesse took a deep breath then nodded. “I won’t stay in the same house with her though. I want to be with you but not with her here. I will move out.”
“Where to you expect her to go?” Hutch asked, “This is her home too.”
Jess wanted to scream how could her father be so understanding, why would he want her in the house? She wanted to ask him but the look on his face made the words stick in her throat. Instead Jesse wrapped her arms around him and held on tight.
“Want me to take you home?” Susan jumped at the sound of the voice and looked up to find Starsky standing next to her. “I take it Hutch didn’t come back?”
“He is still with Jesse, she is so upset and I can’t blame her.” Susan said looking back at her unconscious son.
“What about Hutch? How is he taking it?”
Susan shrugged, “He isn’t saying much, which is never good. I don’t know if he is denial or what, I’m not going to push right now.
“I have to be back by 5 am so they can prep me for surgery. I’ll drop you on my way home.”
“I’ll just get a cab,” Susan getting up. She placed a kiss on Davy’s cheek and followed Starsky out of the room.
“Don’t be ridiculous, I’ll drop you at the curb they won’t even know I was there.”
Too tired to argue or to wait for a cab Susan agreed. “Alright,”
When they pulled up in front of the Hutchinson’s house it was ablaze with lights even though it was well after midnight. “Thanks, I’ll see you in the morning before you go into surgery. Thank you for doing this for Davy.”
“You don’t have to thank me Susan,” Starsky said in a choked voice.
She leaned over and grazed his cheek with a quick kiss then quickly got out of the car and headed for the front door. She tried the knob it was lock, she fished in her purse for her keys but before she could find them the door opened.
Hutch stood there his arms crossed over his chest, his face set. “How is Davy?”
“No change which I guess is a good thing.” Susan said, she moved to come into the house but Hutch blocked her way.
“I think you need to find some place else to stay.”
Susan took a deep breath and looked up at her husband, she felt as though an arrow had been run through her heart. She nodded slowly, “Just let me pack a bag.”
Hutch leaned over and picked up a bag that he had packed for her earlier. “I think everything you will need is in here.”
She nodded stiffly, as she held back the tears that wanted to flow. “Hutch I’m sorry.”
He didn’t answer just closed the door and turned off the porch light.
Hutch leaned his back to the door after he close it, tears trickled down his face. He had finally had enough, he loved Susan but it wasn’t enough it had never been enough. He had looked the other way for so long, but not anymore.
-CHAPTER THREE-
Starsky had just slipped into bed, not that he was going to sleep. He glanced at the clock, it read one-thirty, and he would have to be up in three hours to be at the hospital by 5. “I guess I’ll get plenty of sleep tomorrow,” he joked out loud to himself but he failed to smile at his own joke.
Susan sat in her car out side Starsky’s apartment, the whole building was dark. She knew she should have just found a motel some where but she didn’t want to be alone. She got out of the car slowly dragging her bag with her; she walked up the steps to his place and stood there unable to knock. What if he turned her away, but she knew that he wouldn’t that he would welcome her with open arms. Finally she knocked softly, almost hoping that he wouldn’t hear her.
But the door flew open and he stood there in nothing but pajama bottoms, his hair was tousled and his face grim. “Hutch kicked you out?”
Susan nodded unable to speak; he guided her into his apartment and to the couch. She flopped down and finally dissolved into tears Starsky joined her on the couch and pull her into his arms. He let her cry until she got it all out and was able to talk. “I-I can’t blame him,” she stammered. “I guess he had finally had enough.”
“Don’t count him out yet, Hutch is upset about the accident, about us. He will come around when things settle down.”
“You sure are optimistic. I don’t think things will ever settle down. Every time he sees Davy now he will know he’s not his son. How can he get over that?”
“Maybe not get over it but learn to live with it.” Starsky said smoothing her hair.
“I should have told him the night of the accident, not let him find out that way in the doctors office. It was such a shock for both him and Jesse. God Jesse hates me; she won’t even look at me.”
“Jesse will get over it too. They both love you.”
“I don’t know about that anymore. I have pushed them both to the edge.” Susan said her lips quivering but the tears had stopped. “Hutch has put up with so much over the years; this is so unfair to him. I should have just left him years ago instead of putting him through this.”
“That would have broken his heart,” Starsky said along with his but he didn’t add that.
“And what is his heart now?” Susan asked. “It’s shattered into a million pieces for all to see.”
“What about you? You have been in turmoil longer; you have had to live with all this.”
“Just like you have,” Susan touched Starsky’s face. “I think you are the one that has suffered the most. This has been the most unfair to you.”
“Don’t worry about me.” Starsky said as he got comfortable on the couch. Susan leaned heavily on him. Both exhausted they closed their eyes and fell into an uneasy sleep.
Starsky was being prepped for surgery just as Davy was in the next room. The doctor had explained that they would be in the same operating room together. As soon as they had removed Starsky’s kidney, he would be sewn up and whisk away to recovery as the other team of doctors would began giving Davy the ultimate gift. He lay on the white gurney nervous waiting to be wheeled into the operating room where he would be put under anesthesia.
Susan had split her time between Starsky and Davy as they were being prepared of their surgeries. She hadn’t even cared if Hutch or Jesse saw them together she was not going to let Starsky go through this alone, he was going through this for Davy. She had been surprised that Hutch hadn’t shown up to see Davy before he was wheeled in to the operating room. Maybe he was afraid of what he might see.
The Hutchinson’s sat in the waiting room in opposite corners, none of them speaking. Susan had tried to speak to Jesse when she had shown up at the hospital but Jesse refused to answer her mother, she instead when to the other side of the room and curled up in a chair to wait the out come of her brother’s surgery.
It had been much later when Hutch arrived; he nodded at Susan but didn’t approach her. He had been there earlier wanting to see Davy and even Starsky before they went under the knife. He wasn’t so angry at his friend that he didn’t realize the sacrifice that was being made. But when he had arrived Susan had been at Starsky’s bed side, holding his hand, whispering to him. Hutch wondered what she was saying to him. Instead of entering the room he went to Davy’s room, the boy was laying peacefully in his hospital bed. Hutch leaned over and kissed him on the forehead before he left.
“We are about ready to get started David,” Dr. Davis said as he checked the IV’s running into the detectives arm.
Starsky sighed, “Do a good job Doc.”
Dr. Davis smiled, “You will be just fine, I have done this surgery hundreds of times. You will be back on your feet in a few days. And I’m hoping good things for Davy.”
“Thanks,” Starsky nodded his head felt heavy they had given him a shot of something to relax him and finally it was working. He wished that there was somebody there to hold his hand and tell him it would be alright again. Susan had stayed as long as she could. He knew if things were different both Susan and Hutch would be there to comfort him. Starsky couldn’t help put worry what was going to happen when this was all over. Would he have his two best friends? There are been so many times that he had started to pick up the phone and call Hutch. He wanted to tell him how very sorry he was. But he hadn’t for fear of getting Jesse; she was the one that he was worried about the most. She was almost like a daughter to him….he had a son! Starsky smiled suddenly, for the first time since it had all happened. “I have a son.” Starsky whispered.
“I’m going to get some coffee,” Susan said, “Hutch? Jesse?”
Hutch shook his head without speaking; Jesse didn’t even acknowledge her mother had spoken to her. With an inward sigh Susan went out into the hall to find a vending machine. She took her time walking down the hall in no hurry to return to the waiting room it was almost unbearable to be in there with her family. She and Starsky had pushed it too far this time. They had finally over stepped the boundaries that Hutch was comfortable with. Over stepped, boy had they over stepped. How could she ever expect to Hutch to forgive them forgive her. Now every time he looked at Davy it would be a constant reminder of what had transpired between her and Starsky even it was thirteen years ago and nothing had happened since then. They had made sure of that. No more going on stake outs alone together, if Hutch was out of town they stayed far apart from each other.
Susan hated what had become of their friendship, all three of them. She wasn’t sure if Hutch was aware of the subtle differences or not but she was painfully aware of them. Starsky didn’t come around as much, he use to just drop in with pizza and a six pack but those days were gone. He always called to make sure that Hutch was there and that it was okay for him to come over. Every time he called it broke her heart because she knew the reasoning behind it.
The most shameful thing of all was that her feelings hadn’t changed for Starsky or her feelings for Hutch. She loved them both so much it hurt. If she could just fall out of love with one or the other it would make matters so much easier, painful for a while but simpler in the long run.
When she arrived back in the lounge Hutch and Jesse were sitting next to each other talking. Jesse looked up and glared at her mother. Susan sat down across from them and sipped her coffee.
“Jesse this is helping no one you need to talk to your mother.” Hutch said.
“And say what? What is she going to tell me that it’s a lie that she didn’t have an affair with Starsky?” Jesse had purposely left off the Uncle; he was no longer anything to her.
“Honey I know this has turned your life upside down. First Davy then this other news but you can’t let it turn you bitter.”
“Dammit, Daddy stop being so understanding or acting like you are. You haven’t even talked to her about it, have you? You aren’t as understanding as you want me to believe.” Jesse said her voice rising.
“I want to be,” Hutch said with a catch in his voice. “No matter what Davy is my son he will always be.”
“And what are going to tell him when he wakes up?” Jesse asked. “Are you going to shatter his world too?” She cast a sideways look at Susan.
“He doesn’t have to know anything,” Susan spoke up. “There is no reason that he needs to know.”
“And what if something like this comes up again, maybe when he’s my age? He finds out that his life is a lie,” Jesse was angry she wanted to hate her mother, on the surface she did but deep down Jesse longed to understand why her mother did what she did.
“We will cross that bridge when we come to it.” Hutch answered for his wife. “He may never have to know.”
Jesse took a deep breath, “And what about Starsky?”
Susan understood what she meant, her daughter wanted to know how Starsky would feel now that he knew that Davy was his son. “I don’t know baby.”
“Don’t call me that, I stopped being your baby the day you cheated on Daddy.” Jesse snapped suddenly angry again. “I have to get out of here for a while. I’ll be back.”
After Jesse left, Susan and Hutch sat looking at each other. He wanted to ask the same question that was bouncing round in his daughters head, why? Wasn’t he enough for her, what did Starsky give her that he couldn’t? It must be something. He had suspected something had happened between them thirteen years ago he could remember it like it was yesterday. He had gone to a conference, why hadn’t he taken her with him. She had wanted to come so badly but instead he had insisted on her staying at home throwing them together like he had done time and time again. He asked himself countless times why he did it when he knew how they felt. Maybe he was hoping that it would force her to chose, at least if she finally picked Starsky he could start his life over.
Susan sat down next to Hutch, he jumped lost in his thoughts he hadn’t seen her get up and cross the room. She put her hand over his, as much as he wanted to pull away from her he couldn’t. “Hutch,” she started hesitantly. He looked in to her eyes to see such a deep sorrow there; he knew that she was truly sorry.
-CHAPTER FOUR-
Dr. Davis and his team worked on Starsky while a second team of doctors got Davy ready to receive his new kidney. The operation was nearly over the kidney had been removed and whisk to its new owner when things started to sour for David Starsky.
“His pressure is dropping doctor.”
Dr. Davis glanced up at the heart monitor; his patient’s heart beat was suddenly irregular. “We are losing him,” the doctor shouted. He worked franticly to get Starsky sewed up.
“He is bottoming out,”
“Shit,” the doctor muttered under his breath. What the hell was going wrong? The man was in top physical condition; all his tests came out normal. Maybe he has missed closing a vein and it was bleeding out but there was no sign of that. “What are we missing here Tom?”
Tom Gooding was assisting Dr. Davis he had assisted on many of the other doctor’s cases. “I’m not seeing anything unusual Phil.” Everybody in the room was working feverously trying to find the reason for the deterioration of the detective’s condition.
A flat line appeared on the monitor with its steady buzz. “Damn it!” Dr. Davis yelled. “Get me the paddles and be ready to open him up if I can’t get his heart started.
The grim face of Dr Davis appeared in the waiting room. All three Hutchinson’s jumped to their feet. His face told the story they didn’t want to hear, the surgery hadn’t gone well.
“Please sit,” The doctor said as he removed his scrub hat. He twisted it in his hands. “First off let me put your minds at ease about Davy. He is still in surgery but it is going very well. But there was a complication with David’s surgery, we aren’t sure what really happened, we lost him for a time but we were able to get his heart started back up without having to open him up.”
They sat stunned, partially relieved that Davy was okay and partially frighten for their friend. Even Jesse looked concerned, her anger dissipating.
“David is in recovery, we are waiting for him to wake up.”
“Wake up? You mean he is in a coma?” Susan asked tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.
“For now, he could be like that for a few hours; a few days…we just aren’t sure. We don’t know what caused his heart to stop beating. Tests are being run to see if we can figure it out.” Dr. Davis had a concerned look on his face. “He is going to need his family and I am assuming that you are close to him.
Susan and Hutch nodded.
“David is going to need support to come out of this. I gather there are some rather uncomfortable issues with all of you but if you can put those aside for now.”
“Of course Doctor, anything Starsky needs you just let us know.” Hutch said glancing at Susan then his gaze went to Jesse. She was almost in tears.
“The moment Davy is out of surgery I will let you know but I must get back in there.”
No one spoke after the doctor left. They were all to bewildered to know what to say. Susan left the room and walked down the hall toward double doors that lead to the recovery room. Not only was Davy in danger, Starsky had almost died on the operating table.
“Susan,” It was Hutch behind her, he put his hands on her shoulders. “Jesse and I talked and we want you to come home.”
“Why?” Susan asked with out turning around to face him. “Nothing has changed.”
“I just think we need to stick together right now.” Hutch said, “We will deal with the rest of this later.”
“I don’t think that is a good idea, we will only end up getting hurt more than we are.” Susan shrugged his hand off his shoulder. “You wanted me out last night. I don’t see where anything is better today.”
“Where will you go?” Hutch asked.
“I’m staying at Starsky’s I’m sure that didn’t surprise you.” Susan answered still staring at the doors. “Don’t most people go to their best friend when they are in trouble?”
“I kind of figured that was where you went.” Hutch said with out any reproach in his voice. “After all if the situation had been reversed that was where I would have gone.”
Susan nodded numbly but she didn’t turn around to look at her husband, she continued down the hall, at the very least she could be out intensive care when or if Starsky regained consciousness.
Hutch stared after her, wishing that he had welcomed her home the night before instead of handing Susan her suitcase. He knew then where she would go, he had just handed Starsky his wife. Maybe in the end that was where she belonged where she had always belonged. Hutch’s eyes filled with tears as he watched Susan disappear down the hall.
“Daddy?” Jesse had come up behind him. “Where is mom?”
Hutch choked back his tears, “To be with Starsky.”
“But didn’t you tell her she could come home?” Jesse asked. “We need each other now.”
“She needed us last night,” Hutch said as he turned to face his daughter. “We turned out backs on her.”
Jesse looked at him opened mouthed. “But…but.”
“Honey I think you just better start accepting the fact that your mother might not be coming home.” Hutch lost the fight to control his tears and they coursed down his face. Jesse threw her arms around him and they stood that way in the hall.
Susan was dosing when she felt a hand on her shoulder, she roused up to find Doctor Davis was standing next to her. “Sorry to wake you, Mrs. Hutchinson but your son is out of surgery and he is doing just fine. Think he is going to make it.”
“Thank you doctor, I don’t know what to say.”
“We are still doing tests on Detective Starsky,” the doctor said taking her hand. “We just don’t know what happened on the table. So far every test we have done on him has come back normal. There has been nothing to suggest why we almost lost him.”
“Dr. Davis can I talk to him?”
“Mrs. Hutchinson…,” The doctor began.
“Please call me Susan.”
“Susan,” he started over. “That is highly irregular.”
“I know but I have to talk to him.” Susan pleaded, “I think I know what happened.” The doctor’s brow furrowed. “How many patients have you lost because they gave up, didn’t have the will to live anymore?”
“Fighting to get better is a big part of recovery, it is true.”
“I need to talk to him,” Susan stressed again.
The doctor sighed as he studied her face. “Alright but not for very long.”
Susan pushed open the door to the intensive care room. Several nurses looked up but Dr. Davis who followed Susan in nodded his okay to them and they went back to what they were doing. “He’s down here on the end.” He pointed to the last bed.
Susan slowly made her way toward him; Starsky was hooked to the customary machines that she had seen many times. His heart monitor beeped rhythmically and the IV dripped steadily. She pulled over a chair and sat down next to him then looked up at the doctor, “Thank you.”
Dr. Davis put his hand on her shoulder, “If you need me call anytime.”
After he was gone Susan took Starsky’s hand in her own. He was so pale and cold she put her other hand over his in an attempt to warm him. “Starsky,” Susan whispered softly. “Come back to me. I-I have made a choice, finally after all these years I have made a choice. I’m just sorry that it has taken something like this to force me to make it. Now I might be too late.”
Hutch and Jesse were escorted into Davy’s room; he had the same machinery hooked up to him that Starsky did. Hutch touched his son’s face, his son. Creating a life didn’t make you a father, being there for him did, putting band aids on scraped knees, comforting him when he awoke with bad dreams and even punishing him when he did wrong that was what made a father. Suddenly Hutch realized that Starsky did all those things too, Starsky had always been there for Davy just as he had. “You are a lucky boy Davy.”
Jesse looked at her father surprised at his words not understanding what they meant. “Lucky?”
Hutch turned to look at Jesse and smiled at him. “He has two fathers that love him and so do you. Starsky has been as much of a father to both of you as I have been. He was always there to take up the slack and not because he had to because he wanted to.”
Jesse hung her head realizing that her father was right. “Davy and I have never wanted for anything. Both of you have always been there for us.”
“For what it’s worth I don’t think he knew that Davy was his son. I saw the look on his face that day.”
“Mom knew though.” Jesse answered. Hutch just nodded but didn’t answer, he also knew by her expression. “Daddy what’s going to happen?”
“Honey I don’t know, let’s just concentrate on getting both of them better then we will figure it all out.”
Susan was sound asleep her head laying on the bed next to Starsky’s hand, a nurse approached to wake her and send her home. Just before she started to touch her Dr. Davis who had just entered the room spoke. “Leave her Carol.”
“She has been her for hours, we don’t normally…”
“I know but this is a special case.”
“As you wish doctor.”
Susan’s eyes opened at the sound of their voices, her eyes first went to Starsky to see if anything had changed then she looked up at the doctor. “Davy?”
“He is doing just fine; I think he will be waking up soon.”
“Is my husband with him?
“And your daughter. We have moved him to his own room now.”
“What about Starsky?” She asked looking at him with red rimmed eyes.
“His vitals are strong now. It’s just wait and see now. We will be moving him to a room in the morning.”
“Can you put him in with Davy?”
“I…uh…sure I can arrange it.” Dr. Davis saw the desperation on her face. “I don’t mean to pry but what will your husband say?”
“I don’t care this isn’t about him this is about getting these two better and back on their feet. It will be good for them to be together and much easier on me.” Susan said, “My husband is a big boy he will just have to live with it.”
-CHAPTER FIVE-
Hutch was staring out the room window and Jesse was sleeping in a chair next to Davy’s bed when the door opened and a gurney was wheeled in. “My son is supposed to have a private room.” Then he saw Susan in the hall along with Dr. Davis, he realized who was on the gurney.
Susan caught her husband’s eye praying he would not make a scene. She breathed a sigh of relief when Hutch went and held open the door for the two orderlies.
“I’m not a monster,” Hutch whispered in her ear as she entered the room.
“I never said you were,” Susan answered back.
“I want Starsky to recover as much as you do. He saved our son.” Hutch said then went to stand next to Davy’s bed so he would be out of the way.
Susan went to her son’s side and kissed his forehead. “How ya doing Davy? I brought somebody for you to see.”
To her surprised Davy opened his eyes. She glanced up at Hutch; he gave her a smile for the first time since they had all started. “Hi mom, I’m really sorry.”
“Hey don’t worry about it.” She cooed at him. “Everything is going to be okay.”
“How’s Uncle Starsky?” he asked. “Dad told me what he did.”
“You can see for yourself,” Susan stepped aside so that her son could look at his father. The nurses were just finishing up with Starsky and left the room. “Talk to him Davy, I don’t know if Dad told you but he’s in a coma right now. He needs to know how much we love him to bring him back.” Susan looked across the bed at Hutch; Jesse was standing at his side. Neither of them looked angry anymore, for that Susan was thankful for but it still didn’t change what had happened. She didn’t blame Hutch for kicking her out; she probably would have done the same if it had been reversed. But now it was time to deal with everything that had been brewing for years.
Davy looked toward his name sake, “Uncle Starsky you got to get better you promised to help me with my pitching.” Then he looked up at his mother, “I’ll probably miss this season won’t I?”
“I’m afraid so Davy,” Susan answered, “But there are other seasons sweetie, you just need to get better now.” Davy yawned and his eyes slowly slid shut, in moments his breathing had slowed and he was sound to sleep.
“Can I talk to you?” Hutch asked.
Susan nodded and followed him out into the hall. “Davy is alright, right?”
“Yeah he’s going to be fine. The doctor said that he will probably have to have some physical therapy for his legs and maybe his arm but not much. We won’t know until the casts come off.”
Susan sighed. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there when Davy came too.”
“It’s okay and I explained to him where you were.” Hutch said kindly.
She gave him a sad smile, “You don’t have to be nice to me. I have screwed things up so badly and have been for years.”
Hutch pulled her down the hall to the waiting room, thankfully it was empty. “Sit down,” he said. She sat; Hutch joined her and took her hands in his. “I can’t say I’m not hurt, shocked, sad…I have so many emotions right now I don’t even know how to sort them out. I’m sure you do too.”
Susan nodded her eyes filling with tears. “I should have told you a long time ago about Davy. Maybe I should have left when I first realize I was pregnant or at least given you a choice.”
“Starsk didn’t know did he?”
For a few moments Susan sat staring at her hands. “He knew that there was a possibility that Davy was his. I was going to have a paternity test but he didn’t want me to. He wanted Davy to be yours. And he is you know.”
“I know, he always will be, I realized that as I was watching him sleep.” Hutch said, “So where does that leave us?”
“I don’t think we need to talk about this now.” Susan said pulling her hands from his.
“Susan I know you well enough, you have already made up your mind.” Hutch said looking into her eyes.
“Let’s just get through this.”
Hutch laughed bitterly, “That is what I keep telling Jess.” He took her hands again. “I’m going to hold out hope that you will change your mind when things get back to normal.”
Hutch knew her so well, “I can’t make any promises, and he needs me right now.”
“He has always needed you.” Hutch said sadly.
Susan slipped her hands from his and stood, “We need to get back to them.
As she turned to go Hutch called out to her. “Was it ever real?”
She stopped in her tracks, her shoulders started to shake as she began to cry letting all the emotion she had been holding in spill out. Hutch walked up behind her and folded her in his arms. She turned in his arms and looked up into his face. “I have always loved you.”
“You just aren’t in love with me.” Hutch said in a tight voice, when Susan didn’t answer he asked, “Why did you marry me when you were in love with Starsk?”
Susan bit her lip, she knew that someday they would have this conversation she just wasn’t sure she was ready for it at this moment. She took a deep breath. “I loved you both; I was so young when I started on the force with you two. You were the one that made the move first. I guess that sounds lame and once you did that I guess Starsk backed off. I never knew how he really felt until after we were married.”
“But if you loved him why didn’t you say something?” Hutch wanted to know. He wasn’t sure why he wanted to hear it but he did.
“Hutch we both love you so much we didn’t want to hurt you. So once we discovered how we felt about each other we just kept it to ourselves. I guess we really didn’t do a very good job of it did we?”
“Considering how long it’s been going on you guys didn’t do too bad,” Hutch said with a touch of humor in his voice.
“Oh Hutch don’t joke, I don’t think I can take it.” Susan said tears still spilling down her face. “Rant and rave at me but don’t joke. I don’t except you to take this well.”
“I have known for a long time probably before the two of you realized that you had more than just a loving friendship going on. I was being selfish, I didn’t want to break up our friendship or our family and I was afraid that was what would happen. I know that is why you and Starsky hid it too.”
“We have always been a team.” Susan said. “What happens to that team now?”
“I don’t know, I just don’t know.”
-CHAPTER SIX-
Starsky could hear what was going on around him. He knew he was in the room with Davy and that they were all there with both of them. But he couldn’t open his eyes. He wasn’t sure if it was because he didn’t want too or because he couldn’t. Starsky vaguely remembered Susan talking his hand and talking to him. Something about a decision she had made. Everything was out in the open now, no more secrets, no more pretending. He knew one way or the other he was going to lose. It would either be his best friend or the woman he had loved forever either way nothing would ever be the same again.
The heart monitor that was attached to Starsky beat irregularly but there was nobody there to see it. The nurse had just left the room after checking the vitals on both of her patients. Again the machine showed an irregular heart beat, and again, suddenly the machine began emitting a shrill warning that something was wrong. A buzzer went off at the nurse’s station sending them into a flurry of activity.
When the call for a code blue came over the PA system Hutch and Susan were still talking in the waiting room. They both looked at each other and instinctively knew that something was wrong with one of their loved ones. The conversation forgotten they dashed down the hall.
“Get the crash cart,” a nurse yell. “And call Dr. Davis stat!”
Another nurse ordered, “Roll the boy out into the hall.” It was something he didn’t need to see especially if it turned out badly.
Susan first reaction was to rush into the room to be with Starsky but she knew that she would need to be there for their son when he was wheeled out of the room.
“What’s going on?” It was Jesse she was carrying a can of soda and a bag of chips she had gotten at the hospital cafeteria.
“Honey we aren’t sure,” Hutch said slipping his arm around her. “It’s Uncle Starsky.”
An orderly pushed Davy’s bed into the hall and after checking to make sure his IV’s and heart monitor were still working he went back into the room.
“Mom.” Davy wailed. Susan took his hand.
“It’s going to be okay Davy,” Susan said staring at the closed door and said a silent prayer that she was right.
Dr. Davis came rushing down the hall and entered the room before any of them could speak to him. It was nearly thirty minutes before the door opened and code team began to exit. The doctor was the last one out; the look on his face was grim.
Susan felt her heart stop; Hutch grabbed her hand as they prepared for the bad news they knew was surely coming. “We got him back,” Dr. Davis told them. They both went weak with relief. “I just can’t figure out what keeps triggering these episodes. All his tests are normal, there is no medical reason he should have coded.”
“He has given up,” Susan said. “It’s just as simple as that he is giving up.”
“But why he is still young, healthy, if he hadn’t been I would never have taken his kidney.” The doctor’s brow knitted trying to understand what the detective was trying to tell him.
“It’s a little hard to explain without going into great detail that I’m sure you wouldn’t be interested in.” Hutch said.
“Maybe I need to hear this so that I can figure out how to treat my patient.”
“I really don’t think there is anything that you can do doctor,” Susan answered. “I think it’s something I have to do. That is if I can reach him.”
“Maybe it’s me that needs to talk to him,” Hutch said. He hadn’t talk to his friend since things had come to light. Starsky had tried to talk to him that morning in the office but he had just walked out with out even a glance at his partner. Hutch had been so thunderstruck the only thing he had wanted to do at that point was punch Starsky.
It was late that night, Davy was long asleep, they had sent Jesse home, Susan was getting office and Hutch stood over the bed of his long time friend staring at him. He felt no more anger at him, how could he? Starsky had given the ultimate gift to Davy. Hutch pulled a chair over and sat down taking Starsky’s hand in his. “Come on partner,” he whispered. “We can work this out, we always have.” Hutch took a deep breath, “You and Susan have my blessing I just want you to know that. If you two want to be together then that is the way it should be.” His voice broke as he said the words. “I know both of you love me and never wanted me to be hurt. I can’t say that I’m not hurt but…” He wanted to say he would get over it; he couldn’t get the words out. Hutch didn’t think he would ever get over it. He had to wonder what would really happen. There would be no way they could just go back to the way things where. He wasn’t even sure he could go back to work, everybody would know what happened. How could he face all his colleagues? How could Susan and Starsky? Their lives were about to change and there was nothing he could do about it. Even if Susan stayed with him, nothing would be the same.
Hutch looked at Starsky again, he looked so peaceful sleeping. “Stop doing this to yourself Starsky, it’s not your fault you fell in love.” With those words Hutch got up and went out into the hall. His whole world had fallen apart with an accident. He almost lost his son; his best friend was unconscious and his wife…
“How are they doing,” Susan asked as she walked up the hall carrying two cups of steaming coffee.
“No change for Starsk and Davy is sleeping.” Hutch said taking the cup she offered him.
“I’m going to look for an apartment tomorrow barring any emergency’s here.” Susan said sipping the hot liquid.
“You can come home.” Hutch said.
“I think it would be just too confusing…for all of us.” Susan answered. “It would be best if I just got a place of my own for a while. There are a lot of things that need to be worked out.”
Hutch nodded, “What about the kids?”
“Sounds like Jess is moving in with Cassie and I’m not taking Davy from the only home he has ever known nor do I want to take him away from you.”
“He is going to need the two of us, no make that the four of us. It’s going to kill him that Jess is moving out and Starsky is a huge part of his life. What in the world are we going to tell Davy?” Hutch wanted to know. “He has a right to know the truth.”
“He doesn’t have to know it tomorrow.” Susan said. “We will find a way to let him know when he needs to know.” Then she changed the subject, “How is Jesse doing with all this now.”
Hutch smiled slightly, “I think she is coming around.”
“That has to do with how you are taking it. Kids take the lead from their parents you know.” She touched his hand gently. “You are taking this much better than I would have. Remember when Maddie came on the scene?”
“Yeah,” Hutch said with regret. She had been the only woman that Starsky had ever taken a serious interest in and he had to wonder if Maddie hadn’t died if everything would have been different. “Hey why don’t you go to the house, I’ll stay here with them. You look beat.”
“I don’t know if that is a good idea, Jesse is there and I don’t want to make things any worse.”
“You are going to have to talk to her sometime.”
“I know just not tonight.” She was exhausted. “I’ll go to Starsky’s and lay down for a bit.” Susan waited to see what Hutch’s reaction would be but there was none. “If anything happens you call.”
“You know I will.”
After Susan left Hutch went back into the room, he first checked on Davy who was making a remarkable recovery with all he had been through. It was Starsky that Hutch was the most worried about now. He went to sit by his partner, Hutch watched his chest rise and fall slowly and the heart monitor blip was consistent. He wasn’t sure that his friend could live through another episode.
It was well after midnight and Hutch had fallen asleep next to Starsky, he hadn’t left the hospital in two days. He was awakened by somebody calling his name. Hutch sat and rubbed his hands across his face in order to wake himself up. He looked toward the door thinking perhaps that Susan had come back but there was nobody else in the room. Then his gaze went to his partners face. Two blue eyes were looking at him. “Stark?”
“Hey partner,” Starsky said barely above a whisper.
“Thank god,” Hutch said more to himself than Starsky. “How are you feeling buddy?”
“Like a mack truck hit me going about ninety.” He joked.
“That is about how you look too.” Hutch bantered back.
The smile that had formed on Starsky face faded and reality set in. He remembered why he was in the hospital. “Hutch I-I’m…”
“Don’t worry about anything right now.” Hutch said taking his hand knowing what he was going to say. “You just get better, uh?”
Starsky wanted to ask about Susan but didn’t dare. “Hey how is Davy? Did he make it?”
“Thanks to you he did. He’ll need some therapy for his legs but other than that he is going to be just fine.” Hutch said tears springing to his eyes. “Thank you Starsky, without you he would still be waiting for a kidney and possibly be dead by now.”
“Hutch…”
“Later.”
-CHAPTER SEVEN-
Susan opened the door to Starsky’s apartment and looked around. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been so bone tired. Flopping down on the couch Susan let her muscles relax for the first time in days. She wished that she could just run away not have to deal anymore with what was going on. It was just too much but she knew she couldn’t do that. It was time to face the music and get their lives back on track.
When the phone rang it was nearly 3 a.m. a sliver of fear ran through Susan. She knew she shouldn’t have left the hospital. Susan had been curled up on the couch feeling uncomfortable at sleeping in Starsky’s bed.
“Hello?”
“Susan I’m sorry to wake you.” Hutch said on the other end.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, its good news, Starsk is awake and talking.” Hutch told her in a rush of words.
She closed her eyes and released the breath she had been holding, “I’m coming down.”
“Why don’t you wait until morning, he’s asleep again and you need your rest.” Hutch said.
“What about you? You have been at the hospital nonstop. I will come and you can go home and get some rest.”
“I’ll rest tomorrow.” Hutch answered. Before she could protest he said, “I promise when you get here in the morning I’ll go home and sleep for a while.”
“Ok and Hutch.”
“Yeah?”
“You know I do love you don’t you?”
Hutch swallowed hard, “Yeah I know.”
It was seven a.m. when Susan entered the hospital room, she went to Davy’s bedside, Hutch was sitting in a chair asleep next to him. She brushed a lock of hair from Davy’s forehead then kissed it. Susan felt eyes watching her and she turned to see Starsky smiling at her. She immediately went to him and took his hand. Squeezing it she said, “It’s good to have you back.”
“I’m sorry; I know you have been going through hell.” He said squeezing her hand back, it was the only affection they dared show with Hutch and Davy in the room.
“I’m doing okay, much better now.” She smiled at him.
“Well I’m here to face the music with you.”
“I think all that is left at this point is the dance.” Susan said pulling up a chair so that nobody else in the room could hear her if they awoke. “I’m getting my own apartment.”
Starsky gave her a surprised looked. “You can stay with me.”
“I’m there now but I’ll be gone before you get out of here. I need to be alone for awhile, need to sort all this out in my mind.”
His face fell, “Why do I have a feeling I’m going to get filed.”
Susan laughed then turned to make sure she hadn’t woke the sleeping. Both Hutch and Davy were still asleep. “I’m not going back with Hutch. We have more or less discussed it. But I don’t want to go from him to you I need some time to be me. Do you realize that I have been with you guys since I was twenty-two years old?”
Starsky brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. “Take all the time you need. I have waited this long I guess I can wait a little longer.” Then he winked at her, “Do we get to date?”
Susan giggled, “Stop will you?”
When Hutch roused from his sleep he saw Susan and Starsky talking softly to each other, he expected to feel a twinge of jealousy but he didn’t. It was almost enough to know that everybody was going to be alright including himself. He had decided that he wasn’t going to worry about the future; he was just going to live from moment to moment. That was all he could really deal with anyway. He got up, checked on Davy then went over to Susan and Starsky. “Morning.”
Susan looked up feeling guilty, “Good morning Hutch.”
“Hey buddy,” Starsky said. “You look like hell partner.”
“Thanks,” Hutch grinned at him. “If you have this I think I’ll head home and get some sleep.”
“We will be fine.” Susan said then she got up to walk Hutch to the door, “I’m going to talk to Jess today, tell her what is going on.”
Hutch nodded, “I’ll be ready, thanks for the heads up.” They both expected an explosion from their daughter.
It was close to nine a.m. when Jesse showed up at the hospital. When she entered the room Davy and Starsky were talking about baseball and the older David was promising the younger one he would help him with his pitching the moment the doctors said they were both good to go.
“Hi,” She said softly.
“Sis!” Davy said, “Where have you been? I have hardly seen you.”
Jess shrugged, Starsky thought the reason for her absents was because he was in the room. But the reasons went much deeper than that.
“Sorry, I have just been busy. Did I tell you that Cassie and I are getting an apartment?”
Davy made a face, “But you just got back from college.”
“We will get a place close to home and you can come visit us.” Jesse smiled at him. “Maybe if you are good we will even let you spend the night.”
“Really?” He said perking up.
“Of course, it will be fun.”
“Hi Jess,” Starsky said wondering what she would say to him.
“I’m glad you are finally awake Uncle Starry.”
Starsky grinned; it had been a long time since she had called him Starry.
There wasn’t more they could say with Davy in the room so she went to his bed side and gave him a hug. “I am sorry, you know.”
“Jesse I’m sorry,” he gave her a meaningful look and tears filled her eyes.
She nodded her head then asked, “Where’s mom?”
“She went to get some breakfast in the cafeteria.”
“I’ll be back in a bit,” Jesse said, “Anything you guys want?”
“Yeah a big old hamburger.” Davy piped up.
Jesse laughed, “Well if your doctor says it okay I’ll go out and get you one.”
Susan was just finishing up her breakfast when she saw Jesse enter the cafeteria. She waved so that her daughter would see her. Jesse motioned that she had seen her mother then went through the line to grab a cup of coffee and a donut.
Jesse sat down at the table across from her mother. “Hi Mom.”
“Jess, how are you doing?”
“I’m not as angry anymore I guess that is saying something.”
“You have every right to be,” Susan conceded. Signing Susan then asked, “Did you talk to your dad this morning?”
“Nothing more than good morning, he looked beat.” Jesse said, “But he looked more at peace, did you two talk?”
Susan nodded, “And I need to talk to you.”
“Now?”
“We have to do it sometime, now is as good as any.”
“You aren’t going to tell Davy are you?” Jesse her voice dripping with accusation.
“Jess that is something that is between your father and I, we have decided that for now this is the best way. You brother will know when we feel it’s the right time. He is been through a lot there is no reason to add to his trauma right now.”
“What ever.”
“Don’t be like that uh? We have to do what we think is best for Davy right now.”
“And what if something else happens?”
“Then we will cross that bridge when we come to it. We are going to tell him just not right now.” Susan stressed. “But that isn’t what I want to talk to you about.”
“God you mean there is more?” Jesse was beginning to get angry again.
“Jesse, I’m getting my own apartment as soon as Davy is out of here.”
The girl’s mouth dropped open. “What? You are actually leaving Daddy?” Jesse really never thought that they would split up.
“We talked about it; all three of us need some space right now. You know this is as hard on Starsky and I as it is on you and your dad.”
“Oh yeah sure, you and Uncle Starsky will have each other and dad will have nothing.” Jesse glared at her mother.
Susan sat in silence there was nothing for her to say, she couldn’t disagree with her daughter for what she had said was true.
“How can you do this?” Jesse asked. “Don’t you love daddy anymore, maybe you never did.”
“Jesse that isn’t true of course I still love him. I always have I always will. I just can’t really explain it.” Susan said wishing that she hadn’t even started the conversation. “I know you don’t understand it. I’m not ever sure I understand it my self. Nothing will change for you. You will still have all of us.”
“You know mom I’m not that selfish I’m not thinking of my self I’m thinking of Daddy rattling around in that big old house all by himself.”
“He will have Davy.”
“And me.”
“Jesse you are moving out with Cassie.”
“Not anymore I’m going to stay with Daddy I’m not deserting him too.”
Susan sighed. “Jesse it’s time you start living your own life. You have already made plans with Cassie, dad understands.”
“But mom, Dad is going to need help with Davy when he comes home.” Jesse protested.
“I’m not moving out of town just into my own place. I’ll still be there to help.” Susan told her daughter. “And so will Starsky.”
Jesse stood, “You know I just don’t understand you three at all, I really don’t.”
Susan watched her walk off. Their relationship was odd she did have to admit, they had been through everything together, they would get through this too.
When Susan headed back toward the hospital room she found Davy was sitting in a wheel chair and Starsky was on his feet pushing him along. “What are you two doing out here?”
“The nurses decided we had been on our backsides long enough,” Starsky winked at her.
“Did Jess come back?”
“Yep, and she went to get me the biggest burger she could find, the nurse said so.” Davy beamed from his chair.
“Getting me one too.”
Susan shook her head. “What am I going to do with the two of you?”
“Hey where’s dad?” Davy asked.
“Home resting.”
“Is there something going on?” Davy asked eyeing his mother.
Susan squatted down in front of her son. “What makes you ask that?”
“I’m not a baby anymore ya know.” Davy answered.
She ruffled his hair, “No you aren’t are you.”
“I think it’s cool that I have two dads.” Davy said out of the blue.
Susan looked up at Starsky who shrugged at her; he was as surprised as she was. “Two dads?”
“Yeah, I have always had two dads.” He grinned up at Starsky.
Neither adult was sure what the boy meant exactly but they let it drop. Instead Susan said. “Davy, I’m going to be moving in to my own place for a while. But I will always be there for you and I’ll be at the house anytime you need me.”
“Are you and Dad getting a divorce?” He asked.
“I suppose.” Susan didn’t want to lie to her son. This was a conversation that she hoped to have with Hutch there but since Davy was the one that brought it up she felt it was important that they talk about it.
“Will you marry uncle Starsky?” Davy wanted to know.
Susan took a deep breath and looked at Starsky again. “Would you be upset by that?”
“Heck no,” Davy said. “Well as long as dad is still around.”
Susan laughed and shook hear head. “How about if we talk about this later uh?”
“Sure,” Davy said wishing that his one arm wasn’t in a cast so he could race up and down the hall in the wheel chair.
Six weeks later…..
“Take it easy Davy,” Hutch cautioned, the boy had only had the casts off his legs for a week.
“Ahhh dad,” Davy sighed as he held the base ball bat. “I just want to hit it I promise I won’t run.”
“Get the bat off your shoulder,” Starsky advised from the picnic table in the back yard of the Hutchinson house.
“I know…I know.” Davy said raising the bat from his shoulder.
Susan sat in a lawn chair watching the scene; it looked like something out of a movie, the picture of a happy family. Not that they were unhappy, everybody was adjusting some quicker than others. Davy had been unaffected by his mothers move into an apartment that was only two blocks away. Jesse had postponed her move much the disappointment of her parents. But she had promised that she would move out soon and join her best friend Cassie. Things were still awkward between Hutch and Starsky but it was getting better. And Susan felt the guilt and wasn’t sure she would ever get over it.
She was still putting off going out with Starsky, saying she just wasn’t ready. The only time they were seeing each other was at family things like today. At this point her only focus were her kids and Hutch who she wanted to make sure was okay before she went on with her life.
As far as work they were still at the department, Hutch and Starsky continued to work together but Susan had taken a desk job. Things had come full circle in their lives.
THE END